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Advice from the guys?


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Hantsie   Oct 24, 07, 09:17 /  #
Hi, I've been reading this forum with interest and now feel brave enough to ask for some advice from the men who post on here.

I'm english (and a bit shy when it comes to dating) and met a polish guy last week and we've been on two dates. On the second date I took him a cake I'd made as a promise to him. We then went to a polish bar and I sampled some polish beer and vodka's (maybe one too many), and we had a great time. I was merry, but not drunk and stumbling, and still able to hold a conversation (no slurring).
On returning to his flat and after having a coffee, I was a little bit poorly (yeap I was sick, but I made it to the bathroom). I felt very embarassed and asked him to get me a taxi so I could go home, but he insisted on me staying and tucked me up in his bed (to sleep).

In the morning he was really lovely saying I am a sweet drunk and that he felt a bit responsible for me being "fizzy" as he bought doubles and I was being nice by wanting to sample them. He made me a cup of tea and tried to make me some breakfast but my tummy wasn't up to it. We sat around and talked for a while but I knew he had things to do so made a move to go home, he drove me home. At my place he said he had a lovely evening. I was still feeling very silly and said to him, "give me a call, but only if you want to", (I'm thinking at this point I've blown it by getting drunk, etc). He said he would call me, no matter.

He doesn't do texting, prefers to call, (which I'm getting my head around), all I've done is send a text yesterday, just asking if he'd had a good weekend, was the cake ok. Then a bit later asking if it was ok to call. Nothing though. I haven't tried to contact him more than the two texts as I hate crowding, chasing a guy.

So guys have i blown it?
jareck8   Oct 24, 07, 09:22 /  #
Quoting: Hantsie
So guys have i blown it?

i dont htink so, it really depends on how he intepreed the situation, it seems quite sweet what you done and if thats what he is looking for then im sure he will be interested, if he doesnt liek texting remmeber he might be busy to call you or actually hsi english might not be to great... maybe you should call with a friendly tone,, theres no harm, if you liek him then you should its not chasing...
AvJoeUK   Oct 24, 07, 09:25 /  #
Wouldn't have thought so, You've got to think of it as that he felt responsible enough to look after you and make sure you were okay. That doesn't generally happen with everyguy and it shows hes a good character, Sure when were drunk we often embarrass ourselves and maybe it wasn't the best thing to do. How long has it been since that night?

I had a kind of semi experience with a polish girl/friend last weekend.
z_dariusThreads: 22
Posts: 5,091
Joined: Oct 18, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 09:30 /  #
There is a possibility he may be embarrassed for allowing too many drinks to sneak through between you and him. I know I would. Don't wait and torture yourself. If you (and him) have blown it, at least you'll know you need to move on.

But I don't think a night like the one you described should be a show stopper. Just call him, and try to be relaxed. Laugh at what happened, as in "we probably should have had less booze".

Good luck Hantsie
HmmmThreads: 1
Posts: 91
Joined: Sep 18, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 09:37 /  #
Agree with AvJoeUK. It's apparent that he treated you like a gentleman should. And it's not too hard to discern that he fancies you as well.

Quoting: jareck8
Then a bit later asking if it was ok to call. Nothing though.
Did he not reply, or call you in reply, to your texts? If he did, then you've got game. If he hasn't, then that's very strange. Why the mixed signals? If he digs you enough to tuck you in bed, then he shouldn't be ignoring your texts without a very good reason.
Hantsie   Oct 24, 07, 09:43 /  #
Quoting AvJoeUK: How long has it been since that night?

It's only been four days, so I'm jumping the gun a little but my behaviour was out of character so I guess that's more the reason for my embarassment, :-)


Quoting jareck8: actually hsi english might not be to great...

His english is really good. He's travelled alot, what I call Worldly wise.
jareck8   Oct 24, 07, 09:44 /  #
dont worry jus chill then..... n say a little prayer.. it always helps
starchildThreads: 2
Posts: 136
Joined: Aug 24, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 09:45 /  #
I know I'm not a man.... but don't worry about him not responding to the texts.

There's loads of reasons why some ppl don't text or respond to texts and it can be as simple as he doesn't read! Or he doesn't read/write English. You may think that sounds unlikely but trust me, this is a situation I have faced with two different men, both of whom didn't have English as their first language, and thats all it boiled down to. Or maybe he was just busy?!

If he hasn't called you in a week, then maybe its time to move on. As for the advice to call him... I'm not too sure about that one.
miranda Edited by: miranda   Oct 24, 07, 09:49 /  #
don't call, he should call, if he doesn't, move on. lesson: don't drink too much on dates with people you've just met;)
AvJoeUK   Oct 24, 07, 09:50 /  #
Quoting: Hantsie
Quoting AvJoeUK: How long has it been since that night?

It's only been four days, so I'm jumping the gun a little but my behaviour was out of character so I guess that's more the reason for my embarassment, :-)


4 days hmm, I would have thought he might have texted you to make sure how your getting on or something maybe he's busy with work or something Im guessing? You really cant jump the gun on these things it could be something as simple as him not having credit!
jareck8   Oct 24, 07, 09:51 /  #
Quoting: miranda
don't call, he shoul call, if he doesn't, move on.

trus women to say this.. its nto about pride... theres no harm in calling... c how u feel n giv it a go
miranda   Oct 24, 07, 09:53 /  #
well, guys like to be in charge and I am speaking from experiance
z_dariusThreads: 22
Posts: 5,091
Joined: Oct 18, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 09:54 /  #
Quoting: miranda
well, guys like to be in charge and I am speaking from experiance

So you're a guy?
starchildThreads: 2
Posts: 136
Joined: Aug 24, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 09:54 /  #
To call or not to call.... the age old question, to which there's never a right answer!

It could go either way... but I guess there's only one way to find out!
miranda Edited by: miranda   Oct 24, 07, 09:56 /  #
Quoting: z_darius
So you're a guy?

are you trying to get on my nerves or just trying to be funny, either is working. I am speaking from dating men: they like to be in charge, especially at the beginning - I think that my experiance is valid
jareck8   Oct 24, 07, 10:00 /  #
peopel r gettin ofended so lets jus keep it peaceful
AvJoeUK   Oct 24, 07, 10:00 /  #
*Peaceful Face*
RonekThreads: 1
Posts: 297
Joined: Sep 4, 07 		Edited by: Ronek   Oct 24, 07, 10:05 /  #
If the guy was upset how the things went him might just put you in that taxi and leave it be.
But instead he "took care" of you. So heads up. Next time more cake less vodka!

although I do admit that if a girl gets p*ssed like that on the first date...
lets just say its not the way to show your best side.
z_dariusThreads: 22
Posts: 5,091
Joined: Oct 18, 07 		Edited by: z_darius   Oct 24, 07, 10:10 /  #
Quoting: miranda
are you trying to get on my nerves or just trying to be funny

That was an honest question. No need to get antsy.
Quoting: miranda
I am speaking from dating men: they like to be in charge, especially at the beginning

Being a man all my life I'd never try to be in charge, but rather create an aura of partnership form the start. I know I am not unique in that approach.
Quoting: miranda
I think that my experiance is valid

I'm sure it is. But does it make a rule for all men?

I'd still call for various reasons:

1. pragmatism - why should she torture herself for longer than necessary? Make things clear and then, if it doesn't work, move on sooner rather than later.

2. There may be a lot of "good" reasons he didn't get in touch. Years ago I was late on a date. She moved on. I was late (by 5 days) because I was in hospital after a car accident.

Your take on things actually shows that you might want to be in control - "my way or the highway". My approach is a little more inquisitive. Don't draw conclusions before you are absolutely sure you have grounds to do so.
HantsieThreads: 1
Posts: 7
Joined: Oct 24, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 10:13 /  #
Quoting: Ronek
although I do admit that if a girl gets p*ssed like that on the first date...


So not so bad on a 2nd date, :-)

I would say I wasn't p****ed, as i remember everything, just merry, alot merry.

I have to say, my date did admit to me he was a little drunk while we were still in the bar and nearly walked into a pillar as we left. I didn't laugh though (ok maybe a little) as it could have so easily been me, :-)
jareck8   Oct 24, 07, 10:17 /  #
Quoting: Ronek
So heads up. Next time more cake less vodka!

bravo to that

the less alchohol the better, ur mind will be free of stuff, u will be natural and u... a free and simple person
sledzThreads: 29
Posts: 3,202
Joined: Sep 19, 06 		  Oct 24, 07, 10:25 /  #
Guys like when women call them but dont over do it.
He could be busy, try one more time if he doesnt call you back then dont call anymore.
If he likes you he will call you back:)
HantsieThreads: 1
Posts: 7
Joined: Oct 24, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 10:25 /  #
Quoting: jareck8
the less alchohol the better, ur mind will be free of stuff, u will be natural and u... a free and simple person


Well I'm lucky as I'm the same person, drunk, merry or sober, just ask my friends. Although this has entertained them all, alot, they are not letting me forget it easily, :-)

I'm just a little too polite for my own good? but I have to say it was a great evening, both the company and the drink :-).
DebiancoThreads: 19
Posts: 139
Joined: Aug 30, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 10:34 /  #
IF YOU WANA CALL CALL. IF HE THINKS THAT IS CHASING THATS HIS PROBLEM. IF HE CARES AND LIKES YOU HE WILL UNDERSTAND. UNTIL HE TELLS YOU OTHERWISE THINK POSITIVELY. WHY CANT MEN BE HONEST NO NEED FOR IGNORANCE. THE SILENT TREATMENT IS CHILDISH AND RUDE
sledzThreads: 29
Posts: 3,202
Joined: Sep 19, 06 		  Oct 24, 07, 10:38 /  #
WHY ARE YOU YELLING!!!!!!!

She ask for advice from the guys or didnt she????
miranda   Oct 24, 07, 10:41 /  #
Dariusz,
you are right.
z_dariusThreads: 22
Posts: 5,091
Joined: Oct 18, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 10:48 /  #
Quoting: miranda
Dariusz,
you are right.

I dunno if I am. I just expressed my take on things.


regardless, sending a hug of peace ;)

>-------0-------<
plk123Threads: 30
Posts: 6,412
Joined: Aug 29, 07  Pictures: 2 		  Oct 24, 07, 11:46 /  #
Quoting: starchild
To call or not to call.... the age old question, to which there's never a right answer!

don't play games and torture yourself.. call him
marek sThreads: -
Posts: 451
Joined: Sep 9, 07 		  Oct 24, 07, 11:58 /  #
Quoting: plk123
call him

agreed
Shawn_H   Oct 24, 07, 12:01 /  #
Agreed.
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