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OK so he/she cheated... What next?


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foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 17:46 /  #
Do you forgive once, twice, 3 times... or u don't even say bye? and what next? how do u try to forgive and forget? do u try at all or is it easy 4 u to move on?
szkotja2007Threads: 38
Posts: 2,544
Joined: Dec 29, 06 		  Oct 3, 07, 17:49 /  #
What do you think foxyl ?
osiolThreads: 59
Posts: 4,714
Joined: Jul 25, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 17:51 /  #
If you're talking about what I think you are:
I can't really forgive even once.
Once it's happened, something changes.
Quoting: foxylitious
move on

foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 17:58 /  #
Quoting: szkotja2007
What do you think foxyl

I wonder how ppl cope with the stress.
BubblesThreads: 1
Posts: 190
Joined: Aug 13, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 17:59 /  #
Your heart gets COMPLETELY COMPLETELY broken. But you have to let go. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on ME!!
foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:00 /  #
Quoting: osiol
If you're talking about what I think you are:

what do u think I am?what do u base ur opinion 'bout me on?
foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:01 /  #
Quoting: Bubbles
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on ME!!

very true. well said!
osiolThreads: 59
Posts: 4,714
Joined: Jul 25, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:02 /  #
My opinion (above) is the easy one.
If there are children involved, surely it becomes a lot more complicated.
Otherwise, I agree with Bubbles:
Quoting: Bubbles
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on ME!!

polishgirltx   Oct 3, 07, 18:04 /  #
Quoting: foxylitious
OK so he/she cheated... What next?

kick his butt out of your life
beckskiThreads: 19
Posts: 2,144
Joined: May 15, 07  Gold Member MEMBER  Pictures: 3 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:06 /  #
Quoting: osiol
I can't really forgive even once


I feel the same way. I don't forgive a cheater. If someone cheats once, they'll do it over & over again.

A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!
marek sThreads: -
Posts: 451
Joined: Sep 9, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:07 /  #
my ex wife cheated on me, thats why shes an ex.

if they cheat on you once, stats say the person will cheat again.
szkotja2007Threads: 38
Posts: 2,544
Joined: Dec 29, 06 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:09 /  #
Quoting: foxylitious
I wonder how ppl cope with the stress.

I suppose it would be similair as any reaction to loss -
Denial and anger may feature large.
Wanting everything to return to normal etc.

It is different for everyone.
BubblesThreads: 1
Posts: 190
Joined: Aug 13, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:10 /  #
Quoting: foxylitious
it easy 4 u to move on?

NO it sucks beyond belief.

I gotta leave this thread or I will be crying.
polishgirltx   Oct 3, 07, 18:12 /  #
Quoting: Bubbles
I gotta leave this thread or I will be crying.

no, ppl don't make Bubbs cry...!
foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:13 /  #
ok. what if u don't have any hard evidence. it's just ur felling telin' u somethin' is up? what than?
szkotja2007Threads: 38
Posts: 2,544
Joined: Dec 29, 06 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:14 /  #
Quoting: foxylitious
ust ur felling telin' u somethin' is up? what than?

That'll be denial.
foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:14 /  #
Quoting: Bubbles
I will be crying

don't cry bebe. he ain't worth it.
BubblesThreads: 1
Posts: 190
Joined: Aug 13, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:14 /  #
Go with your gut girl. Go with your gut... PLEASEEEEE GO WITH YOUR GUTTTT!!!
foxylitiousThreads: 5
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 21, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:15 /  #
bubbles has he cheated?
BubblesThreads: 1
Posts: 190
Joined: Aug 13, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:19 /  #
I'm done here
osiolThreads: 59
Posts: 4,714
Joined: Jul 25, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:20 /  #
Quoting: foxylitious
it's just ur felling telin' u somethin' is up?

If it's just a feeling, it probably IS true.
Without the security of eachother's trust, it could just get more strained.
It can be hard to do, but from my experience, the decision is the easy part.
After the first step, it does get easier.

Quoting: Bubbles
will be crying

Sadness is inevitable, I'm afraid. Sorry, Bubbles.
Sad is how you feel before you're happy.
FirestormThreads: 7
Posts: 511
Joined: Nov 29, 06 		  Oct 3, 07, 18:24 /  #
Relationships are built on Trust and Honesty.
They are the Foundations of love..
Remove one.

And all you have is an unsteady mess.
Ready to crumble at the first shake.
RanjThreads: 27
Posts: 1,286
Joined: Sep 29, 06 		  Oct 3, 07, 20:10 /  #
Quoting: Firestorm
Relationships are built on Trust and Honesty.
They are the Foundations of love..

Very true statement, Firestorm.

Quoting: szkotja2007
I suppose it would be similair as any reaction to loss -
Denial and anger may feature large.
Wanting everything to return to normal etc.

Also very wise and true, Szkotja.

Quoting: osiol
it's just a feeling, it probably IS true.


Not necessarily, Osiol, but something is not right, whether it's something in her that is causing her to feel this way, or he is in fact not being honest in someway....doesn't have to be he is cheating, although I think it is natural for people to automatically jump to that conclusion when they are in a relationship and something doesn't feel right....it's in our nature to expect the worst.
plk123Threads: 30
Posts: 6,412
Joined: Aug 29, 07  Pictures: 2 		  Oct 3, 07, 20:33 /  #
Quoting: Bubbles
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on ME!!



that's the one for me too.
RanjThreads: 27
Posts: 1,286
Joined: Sep 29, 06 		  Oct 3, 07, 20:39 /  #
Quoting: plk123
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on ME!!

Also a true statement.....I hope your fears turn out not to be true, Foxy, but if they are confirmed and he is cheating, then you should move on. Good luck.
marek sThreads: -
Posts: 451
Joined: Sep 9, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 20:52 /  #
Quoting: foxylitious

ok. what if u don't have any hard evidence. it's just ur felling telin' u somethin' is up? what than?



that generally means something is up
plk123Threads: 30
Posts: 6,412
Joined: Aug 29, 07  Pictures: 2 		  Oct 3, 07, 20:56 /  #
Quoting: marek s
that generally means something is up

not necessarily... evidence means something is up... feelings have been wrong before. no reason to stress over nothing..
RanjThreads: 27
Posts: 1,286
Joined: Sep 29, 06 		Edited by: Ranj   Oct 3, 07, 21:18 /  #
Quoting: plk123
feelings have been wrong before. no reason to stress over nothing..

I agree, PLK (hey, we actually agree on sth...lol) unless there is indisputable proof, why would you put yourself through the worry? Foxy, I hope you don't think I am being brutal, but I have been in your shoes before, and my feelings stemmed from my own insecurities that I projected on the one I cared about.....unfortunately, it was those insecurities that caused the end of the relationship.....I had been burned before, and I carried that pain over into a new relationship.....not a good thing.....I have since learned not to project passed hurts onto other people.....no two people are the same which means no two relationships will be the same. The key is communication....if you are having suspicions, be honest with your partner, but not accusing. Does that make sense? If you are in a truly loving relationship, your partner will embrace you and accept you have some insecurities (we all do, btw). If not, then he's probably not the one for you anyway. Once again, good luck.
marek sThreads: -
Posts: 451
Joined: Sep 9, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 21:22 /  #
Quoting: plk123
not necessarily... evidence means something is up... feelings have been wrong before. no reason to stress over nothing..



ever been cheated on?
reason why i ask, is because i noticed my ex was acting different which lead me to believe that something is up.
when your with somebody long enough, you have a sixth sense about them.
LucyndaThreads: 4
Posts: 89
Joined: Sep 18, 07 		  Oct 3, 07, 23:02 /  #
Quoting: Firestorm
Relationships are built on Trust and Honesty.
They are the Foundations of love..
Remove one.

And all you have is an unsteady mess.
Ready to crumble at the first shake.


This also applies to friendships. Any relationship, actually.

If kids are involved, I could see making an effort to patch things up. But why bother if it's just a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?

One of the sad things to realise in life is that many people don't change emotionally. If they screw up in an area once, it's likely they will do so in the same area throughout their lives. It seems far easier to change jobs, houses, cars, than it is to change one's emotional patterns.
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