My polish g/f can be a nightmare,is it always like this

smiffer:

and still travel an hour to get to work,she doesn't like me speaking to my friends,or texting them,or me speaking to my mother.if i try and stand up for myself i get the old "we are spliting up" routine.

smiffer:

are all polish women this demanding i a relationship??

smifferThreads: 2 Posts: 58 Joined: May 31, 08	May 31, 08, 03:26 / #
I have been with my polish g/f for about 14 months,i love her to bits,and think the world of her,but she seems to want everything her way,if i want to do something different,or something on my own,she always says that i want to live "seperate life" and "we should do everything together"as we are a couple.We split up 2 days ago because all she does is wind me up when she gets stressed,and she is doing an accounting course,and and english course so she is getting stressed alot,and it gets taken out on me,and she has real trouble saying sorry after,i usually have to ask her for a sorry.I do all i can to make her happy,i even moved 35 miles to be with her,and still travel an hour to get to work,she doesn't like me speaking to my friends,or texting them,or me speaking to my mother.if i try and stand up for myself i get the old "we are spliting up" routine.She tells me this is her "character" are all polish women this demanding i a relationship??I adore the woman,she is all i could want and more,and i tell her this all the time,so why do i have to defend myself everyday?? Come on people help me out here,restore my faith in polish women cheers for listening.

BartolomeThreads: 2 Posts: 1,345 Joined: Sep 14, 06	May 31, 08, 03:36 / #
It's called a 'toxic relationship'. All you need is another woman.

LondonChickThreads: 43 Posts: 1,261 Joined: Nov 19, 07	May 31, 08, 10:20 / #
This is nothing to do with her being Polish - she is just a cow. Bin her.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	May 31, 08, 10:24 / #
It has a little to do with her being Polish. Polish girls can be very demanding I've found. Plenty more fish in the sea mate

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07	May 31, 08, 10:25 / #
Its not a Polish thing...its a woman thing.....find another one , she won,t get any better , or change her ways , you must either put up with this behavour forever....or find somebody new......

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	May 31, 08, 10:29 / #
I think part of it comes from the way we treat them. They prey on sensitivity. Polish guys usually stand up to their nonsense. Don't be treated just as a convenience

polishgirltx	May 31, 08, 10:31 / #
smiffer: and still travel an hour to get to work,she doesn't like me speaking to my friends,or texting them,or me speaking to my mother.if i try and stand up for myself i get the old "we are spliting up" routine. omg....where do you find all those crazy chicks guys?? :) smiffer: are all polish women this demanding i a relationship?? of course not :) smiffer, out there is somebody better for you, so cheer up and tell her to get lost ;)

VaFunkooloThreads: 7 Posts: 823 Joined: Mar 24, 08	May 31, 08, 10:33 / #
Have a little self respect. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself at present. Remember, you don't need anyone else to validate your self-worth. A healthy relationship is not formed through a mixture of adoration and constant defence. Have a little self respect.

KennitzThreads: 8 Posts: 36 Joined: Mar 2, 08	May 31, 08, 10:34 / #
Not one bad piece of advice. If 100% say this, I'd have to think that there is something to it. :)

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	May 31, 08, 10:38 / #
I second that. I guess I'm in the better position as I'm independent and am well used to doing things for myself. My GF knows not to get too demanding. We laid down the ground rules and we get on like a house on fire. My ex treated me like a convenience, she was a weirdo. My way or the highway and it's the highway for ur GF I hope. I will stick 2 my guns, Polish women tend to be more stubborn than others I've encountered but u, as a guy, should be man enough to shape their behaviour. I'm sure u r. I can thank Poland for making me tougher. In Japan, the 2 GF's I had were very submissive and that works on different levels. U certainly get ur money's worth here LOL

kingkong1Threads: - Posts: 58 Joined: Apr 25, 08	May 31, 08, 17:58 / #
Have you ever had a frank,mature discussion about eachother's weaknesses and agreed a way forward-coz we all have them? If yes and she still behaves the way you've described then the best thing's to call it a day brotha. Painful but would be the best solution I reckon. ONE LOVE...

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	May 31, 08, 20:30 / #
I am a Polish fella and I don;t see anything wrong with that. (of course :) I read somewhere an analysis explaining the relationships in a typical and functional Polish family. In short, it has to do with Poland's history through the ages. A woman's role at home was usually far greater than in many other countries. Men were busy outside their homes either chasing the enemy, or escaping from it.

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	May 31, 08, 20:33 / #
So what's the divorce rate in the US?

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	Edited by: z_darius May 31, 08, 20:44 / #
Who's saying abuse is OK? There are divorces in Poland too, and men abuse women also. It must be a difference in cultural background. I don's think most men in Poland would identify themselves as victims/slaves/prisoners of their wives.

Mav34Threads: - Posts: 12 Joined: May 30, 08	May 31, 08, 17:42 / #
smiffer, Don't lose your self-respect and dignity for anyone. It is not worth it.. If she is great, you can sacrifice things about you..but never lose your dignity and don't be a doormat. I would reiterate what someone else suggested here. Be bold and have some self esteem . Being a guy you shouldn't need a girl to validate your self-worth. This is very important for your personality and character and for your life than any relation you will have, with any girl.

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,948 Joined: May 17, 07	Edited by: southern May 31, 08, 18:07 / #
smiffer: are all polish women this demanding i a relationship?? Most polish women have you permanently locked during the relationship and spank you on every wrong word.You are lucky to have this one.

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	May 31, 08, 19:52 / #
Hi, I am an older Polish American women and frequently find that Polish women are very demanding from what I hear of them. I often wonder how they do it and if maybe I should take some lessons from some of them but they really seem to keep their guys on short leashes and under the thumb. I'm not being biased - I happen to think that the women from Poland are extremely beautiful (no, I am not gay) but quite frankly I don't know why some of the guys put up with it. Tamara

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	May 31, 08, 20:07 / #
Tamara: quite frankly I don't know why some of the guys put up with it. Not just Polish men. There is a saying in Poland: The husband in the head of the family. The woman is the neck that turns the head.

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	May 31, 08, 20:26 / #
Yup, something like that. Tamara

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	May 31, 08, 20:32 / #
Yeah, that's the weirdest thing is that the guys attached to these women are totally blind to the dynamics of the relationship and don't think that there is anything wrong whatsoever. That's just the opinion of an American woman.

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	May 31, 08, 20:37 / #
hmm, are you saying if more men in the us let their women abuse them then the divorce rate wouldn't be so high? :)

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	May 31, 08, 20:47 / #
You're right they don't. Don't get me wrong - I think Polish men are great - I have one myself. They are taught by the archetypical Matron of the family to be polite and gentlemanly and but sometimes to people outside of the culture it looks like they are taken advantage of.

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	Edited by: z_darius May 31, 08, 20:57 / #
Perhaps in Poland they don;t notice that since the circumstance of most is is the same :) Still, I don;t think an American woman is such a weak person. After over 20 years on this continent I have seen this and that. One of the the most obvious signs are commercials. A silly, half brained husband and a smart, resolute and always right wife. smiffer: .if i try and stand up for myself i get the old "we are spliting up" routine. You have taken all the reasonable steps to make her happy. Now she's playing the emotional blackmail. Let the routine take that one step you think you don't want it to take - leave or let her go. If she's back things will be little more normal. If she isn't then better now than later when you have wasted years of your life. In a word be all that you can be... oops, wrong commercial. Be a man ;)

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	Edited by: Tamara May 31, 08, 21:08 / #
I'm not sure it has anything to do with weak. The tradition in the US used to be one of the woman takes care of the house and husband (every see any of those old TV shows from the 50's and early 60's) and the husband brings home the "bread". Then everything changed and now the woman doesn't want to seem to "cater" to her man and she can provide for herself - thank you very much. So, it's just a different lifestyle.

lowfunk99Threads: 18 Posts: 435 Joined: Jan 7, 08	May 31, 08, 21:15 / #
From my experience is if a relationship is painful I don't want to be in it. I have tried to be in relations like that and it sucks. I love my relation with my Polish gf. I appreciate that she speaks her mind. Its nice to be in a relation where I can be honest and so can she.

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	Edited by: z_darius May 31, 08, 21:15 / #
Tamara: I'm not sure it has anything to do with weak. wrong choice of words on my part. Tamara: The tradition in the US used to be one of the woman takes care of the house and husband (every see any of those old TV shows from the 50's and early 60's) and the husband brings home the "bread". That was the tradition in most countries, although in Poland it seems women became a mores substantial part of the workforce sooner than in the US. Tamara: Then everything changed and now the woman doesn't want to seem to "cater" to her man and she can provide for herself - thank you very much Catering might be the right word, and I see nothing wrong with it, if it's mutual. Sometimes sharing the same chores of the day, other times dividing them somewhat fairly. In reality I don't think there is so much difference between a Polish and an American woman. Perhaps the difference is between American and Polish man. Neither is better or worse than the other. They cope the best way they can ;) Btw, the original poster's relationship is blatantly dysfunctional .

TamaraThreads: 11 Posts: 218 Joined: Mar 1, 07	May 31, 08, 21:40 / #
z_darius: Neither is better or worse than the other. They cope the best way they can ;) That's all any of us can do when it comes down to it. z_darius: In reality I don't think there is so much difference between a Polish and an American woman. Really, I think that there is a world of difference from the way we dress, to the way we treat our men :) I also think that there is a big difference between Polish men and American men.

shewolfThreads: 5 Posts: 1,834 Joined: Dec 23, 06	May 31, 08, 21:48 / #
it's just weird that she doesn't want the guy to speak to his own mother. come on.

z_dariusThreads: 22 Posts: 5,091 Joined: Oct 18, 07	May 31, 08, 22:23 / #
Tamara: Really, I think that there is a world of difference from the way we dress, to the way we treat our men :) Tamara, if you are using this thread's originator as the basis for generalizing then you're quite a bit off track. btw. dressing is superficial - I had bigger things in mind. I don't really care much about clothing and what I wear to work is what work requires me to wear. Although I do notice that what wifey and I wear after work here we would never dare to wear in Poland. Would you care to elaborate on the differences you notice?

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,948 Joined: May 17, 07	Jun 1, 08, 04:52 / #
Tamara: that Polish women are very demanding Tamara: that the women from Poland are extremely beautiful If american women were as beautiful as the polish ones,they would demand fee just to look at them.