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Visiting a Polish friend who's just given birth?



trublustuukThreads: 2
Posts: 44
Joined: Apr 26, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 07:34 /  #
Not so sure if this is the right section but please feel free to move it if it isn't.

Anyway my friend, one of my closest at work, just had a baby girl on Friday and asked if I wanted to come down to see it. Now I'm not so sure if I should bring some flowers or something but I have never met her boyfriend who will probably be there on paternaty leave I'm not so sure how this will be saw. But at the same time I don't want to turn up empty handed (well if you count my sortoff missus lol) incase this is seen as some kind of cultural offense (maybe me being paranoid).

Anyway anybody got an advise or ideas or whatnot please let me know :)
VaFunkooloThreads: 7
Posts: 823
Joined: Mar 24, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 07:38 /  #
trublustuuk:
I should bring some flowers


I would have thought thats an appropriate thing to do
Lir   Jun 23, 08, 07:43 /  #
trublustuuk:
Anyway anybody got an advise or ideas or whatnot please let me know :)


Yes. Forget the flowers, she'll get those from everyone else. Get something for her.

Chocolates, nice moisturising cream, something to pamper her as all the attention will be on the baby and a really nice Congratulations card to baby, Mum and Dad :))

That's what i would do ! And if you want a basket of some nice fruit maybe ?
PolanglikThreads: 40
Posts: 883
Joined: May 16, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 08:16 /  #
Lir:
Yes. Forget the flowers


you can hardly go wrong with flowers :o) ..... and this would be appropriate from a male work colleague ..... or maybe some disposable nappies, sleepsuit for the new baby.

Lir:
And if you want a basket of some nice fruit maybe


The basket of fruit is a good idea, maybe not chocolates as some new mothers are worried about their weight ..... i know a few close female friends who after they'd given birth said they didn't want anyone to bring chocolates :o)
SwiteziankaThreads: -
Posts: 525
Joined: Jun 17, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 09:50 /  #
I guess bringing something for the baby would be the most appropriate: a toy, a rattle, a piece of clothing etc. It can be something for an older baby, which will be useful in future.
It will not only be polite, but also helpful to the parents.
WroclawThreads: 77
Posts: 7,404
Joined: Apr 1, 06 [Moderator]  Pictures: 3 		  Jun 23, 08, 09:56 /  #
A gift for the baby.

A gift for mother

And plenty of fine compliments. (to mother and father, if he is there).

That way you don't leave anyone out.
VaFunkooloThreads: 7
Posts: 823
Joined: Mar 24, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 10:18 /  #
If the kid's ugly it's better to be honest from the start than embark on years of discomfort and deceit
PolskaDollThreads: 44
Posts: 4,134
Joined: Jun 15, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 10:29 /  #
VaFunkoolo:

If the kid's ugly it's better to be honest from the start


Might as well end the friendship sooner rather than later...

trublustuuk:
some flowers


Flowers are nice. My Polish friend had a baby a year ago and when the baby was born a couple of us clubbed together and bought the baby lots of things, mostly useful things like bibs, clothes and baby talc, shampoo, all that kind of thing. We also put together and bought Mummy vouchers for her favourite shop and we bought Daddy some beer (so he was happy :).

I don't think you can go wrong really. :)
AngelNCThreads: 3
Posts: 106
Joined: Dec 19, 07 		Edited by: AngelNC   Jun 23, 08, 10:34 /  #
Buy something that the baby needs. Diapers, wipes, bottles,baby milk for the baby if she's not breast feeding to help them out.:)
VaFunkooloThreads: 7
Posts: 823
Joined: Mar 24, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 10:44 /  #
PolskaDoll:
Might as well end the friendship sooner rather than later...


Some people appreciate straight up honesty and if you go 'dang, your kid sure is ugly' you might even prompt dna testing to confirm paternity which would save Jezza Kyle the time and effort of doing it at a later date so if you think about it, it's actually the right thing to do and your moral obligation to society at large. Nobody wants an ugly kid and sometimes its better just to get up and walk out the hospital, hope nobody notices and start again from scratch
PolskaDollThreads: 44
Posts: 4,134
Joined: Jun 15, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 10:57 /  #
VaFunkoolo:


Some people appreciate straight up honesty


Yes they do. New Mothers are not usually among that group. New parents think their babies are gorgeous, no matter what.

VaFunkoolo:
if you go 'dang, your kid sure is ugly'


Then you'd be on Jerry Springer not Jeremy "I think I am the Lord" Kyle.

VaFunkoolo:
so if you think about it, it's actually the right thing to do and your moral obligation to society at large.


I thought about it. While I may think someone's kid is not as gorgeous at they make out, I would keep those thoughts to myself. Society may fail, but I'll have kept my friends ;)
lowfunk99Threads: 18
Posts: 435
Joined: Jan 7, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 11:07 /  #
A bottle of vodka for the father!
VaFunkooloThreads: 7
Posts: 823
Joined: Mar 24, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 11:11 /  #
PolskaDoll:
but I'll have kept my friends ;)


Ive found that when friends have sprogs it's often i good time to let the friendship fade. Things are just never the same and if you pretend you like their snotty nosed little oik you might get ropped in to baby sitting duties whilst they go out for a pint.
Shawn_H   Jun 23, 08, 11:15 /  #
trublustuuk:
well if you count my sortoff missus lol

Include her on the card, if you're concerned about upsetting the father.
PolskaDollThreads: 44
Posts: 4,134
Joined: Jun 15, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 11:32 /  #
lowfunk99:
A bottle of vodka for the father!


Always a good idea ;)

VaFunkoolo:
VaFunkoolo


Not a big fan of children then.
VaFunkooloThreads: 7
Posts: 823
Joined: Mar 24, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 13:47 /  #
PolskaDoll:
Not a big fan of children then.


They smell and make unnecessary noise
PolskaDollThreads: 44
Posts: 4,134
Joined: Jun 15, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 14:19 /  #
VaFunkoolo:

They smell and make unnecessary noise


Then I guess your gift to the new parents would be a can of air freshener and two sets of earplugs. ;)
rafikThreads: 21
Posts: 740
Joined: Jun 22, 06 		Edited by: rafik   Jun 23, 08, 15:15 /  #
VaFunkoolo:
They smell and make unnecessary noise

i bet it does happen to you too now and again(saturday night;))
flowers are good unless she's still in the hospital but i would focus on something usefull for the baby.clothes for new born baby would do nicely.
Lir   Jun 23, 08, 15:31 /  #
VaFunkoolo:
If the kid's ugly it's better to be honest from the start


Lol that is so funny ......usually babies who are ugly turn into beautiful people...

Never heard about the ugly duckling I see <g>

You are funny Vafunkalulu........I bet you can't wait to have kids.....designer ones of course :)
mamayeThreads: 2
Posts: 40
Joined: Mar 31, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 15:54 /  #
coming back to the subject...
1. father (the easiest one;) - vodka is perfct.
2. mother - flowers are always nice, however I like the idea of fruits. sweets, cosmetics - definitely not.
3. baby - a toy, a rattle- yes. diapers, bottles, baby milk and such - definitely not! there are many to choose and only mother knows what's the best (and asking her before wouldn't be nice); u don't know if the baby has alergy or not, if the mother is breast feeding,etc... clothes - yes...but rather not;) for the newborn it is very hard to get right thing if u r not the parent, some clothes are impossible to wear, to wash..well, i could write a book about it;)

most newborn babies are ugly:) but - of course - mine wasn't;) ;)
compliments are always better;)
don't make the visit long, it may be really tiring for the baby and the mother, even if u r good friends.

hopefully it will help a bit;)
my daughter is almost 2, so it wasn't long time ago when she was born...;)
PolskaDollThreads: 44
Posts: 4,134
Joined: Jun 15, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 16:37 /  #
mamaye:
diapers, bottles, baby milk and such - definitely not!


After talking to my friend, I have to agree with that. I've never considered buying things like that for a new mother. So I mentioned it to my friend who had a baby recently and she said that she'd had to change the kind of milk her son gets a couple of times since he was born. Basically, if I had gone into a shop to buy formula from someone elses kids I'd have been lost.

As for clothes. Sensible baby clothes are best. Designer baby clothes are not. They grow out of them in minutes and are therefore, a waste of money.
clouddancerThreads: -
Posts: 25
Joined: Jun 23, 08 		  Jun 23, 08, 16:46 /  #
mamaye:
1. father (the easiest one;) - vodka is perfct.


No, not really, unless the father is a redneck, or if you want to make such impression yourself. If you really must, a bottle of wine is a much better idea.
PolskaDollThreads: 44
Posts: 4,134
Joined: Jun 15, 07 		  Jun 23, 08, 16:49 /  #
clouddancer:
If you really must, a bottle of wine is a much better idea.


I wouldn't give any Polish guys I know a bottle of wine in this situation. Most likely vodka or some beer.
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