Child with Polish ex, is 275 Euros a normal amount for child maintenance?

sapphire:

I dont disagree with the law per se, only in cases where the woman disowns the man and doesnt want him to see the child.. why should she then expect money from him.. and if she gets married or lives with someone else, why should they not pay for their child together as a family.. to me this seems more normal.

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Edited by: PlasticPole Jun 3, 09, 18:31 / #
sapphire: so why shouldnt he pay? Because it's not his kid. This guy should pay child support after a DNA test establishes paternity. In the US many share your attitude, Sapphire, which is why the welfare state exists. If you think it's bad this guy should pay without establishing paternity first, why do you suggest someone else who isn't the bio dad pay too? Sounds a bit hypocritical.

sapphireThreads: 28 Posts: 1,418 Joined: Dec 7, 06	Jun 3, 09, 18:38 / #
Thanks, I do understand the law, I just dont agree with it. Of course there are genuine cases and each should be assessed on its merits, but in my opinion someone who raises a child is more of a father than one who just provided the sperm and has never seen it (whether by choice or not). They werent married, it seems she was cheating on him and ditched him when she got pregnant.. therefore in my opinion he shouldnt be forced to pay! Do you think people dont live on welfare and claim child support at the same time? Wake up, some people take the **** and live a better life on benefits (including child support), they get housing etc.. and dont have to do a days work. I heard two schoolgirls on the bus the other day saying how they wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible so they could get a council house and benefits.. nothing about wanting to get married or raise a family. Scumbags.

Grzegorz_Threads: 81 Posts: 6,213 Joined: Nov 16, 06	Jun 3, 09, 18:40 / #
amoeba: amoeba You sound like a twat or even a pederast... You should pay at least twice as much as that pathetic €200 a month.

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 18:42 / #
Sapphire, why would you disagree with a law that requires the biological father to pay for his child. Would you rather your government pay because he doesn't want to, or someone else do what he's supposed to be doing? Why shouldn't he be expected to be the one doing the paying since he supplied the sperm?

sapphireThreads: 28 Posts: 1,418 Joined: Dec 7, 06	Jun 3, 09, 18:44 / #
I dont disagree with the law per se, only in cases where the woman disowns the man and doesnt want him to see the child.. why should she then expect money from him.. and if she gets married or lives with someone else, why should they not pay for their child together as a family.. to me this seems more normal.

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 18:49 / #
But their relationship has nothing to do with it. It becomes what is right for the child. The child could spend time with both parents,they could share joint custody and no one would owe any support. It would be hard to do something like that because of distance. Somehow the guy has to be made to do something. It isn't about his relationship to the mother it's about the child's right to support and that's how the law views it.

Grzegorz_Threads: 81 Posts: 6,213 Joined: Nov 16, 06	Jun 3, 09, 18:53 / #
sapphire: only in cases where the woman disowns the man and doesnt want him to see the child If he wanted to see the child, every court would force her to let him do that but can you imagine that gay flying to Poland If he doesn't want to pay 200 EUR a month.

sadieannThreads: 4 Posts: 320 Joined: Apr 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 18:54 / #
Wow, I'm shocked that the comments are so biased towards this "Amoeba," (insightful name). Granted you didn't ask for moral advice only money? I think this determines the type of supposed man you are. There are two sides to every relationship. Obviously, it's apparent why she left. I think this is a moral issue within you. One needs to face the reality of their actions and turn it into a positive situation. An innocent child will live with the consequences of your heartless behavior. An intentional denial and lack of responsibility shows your true character. "The child won't even understand you?" It will be a natural bond. It's your blood. The child will feel the connection. Perhaps, re-evaluate your inner self. I have never heard a man so stone cold. Why your current wife isn't seeing who you truly are is a mystery. Oh, and most people on PF probably wish you wouldn't visit again. What a depressing situation. LOSER!

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,786 Joined: Feb 26, 09	Jun 3, 09, 18:59 / #
sapphire: I dont disagree with the law per se, only in cases where the woman disowns the man and doesnt want him to see the child.. why should she then expect money from him.. and if she gets married or lives with someone else, why should they not pay for their child together as a family.. to me this seems more normal. To get away from welfare state it would be wise to got back to normal and not pay for a child born out of wedlock at all!

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Edited by: Moderator Jun 3, 09, 19:05 / #
Ironside: not pay for a child born out of wedlock at all! It doesn't matter if they are married or not. Once a child is born it exists and it is owed support from some source. Ideally it's the parents unless society lets them get away without paying. Another option is giving the child up for adoption but it sounds like, in this case, the mother wants to keep him or her so it isn't practical. For all: The OP asked about the amount of money requested for child maintenance and nothing else.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Jun 3, 09, 22:11 / #
I completely agree. In Scotland, the courts apply a standard. Namely, 'the welfare of the child is paramount'. Petty squabbles should not get in the way of that.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Jun 3, 09, 23:53 / #
I've seen this before. The same guy had it done to him twice. Both women took off with a kid and left him high&dry.

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,786 Joined: Feb 26, 09	Jun 3, 09, 19:10 / #
PlasticPole: It doesn't matter if they are married or not. Once a child is born it exists and it is owed support from some source. Ideally it's the parents unless society lets them get away without paying. mother should support child born out of wedlock or whomever if not adoption is an option !

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 19:11 / #
Ironside: mother should support child born out of wedlock or whomever if not adoption is an option ! That's old fashioned. The courts agree the mother and father owe a child equal support whether they are married at the time the child is born or not.

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,786 Joined: Feb 26, 09	Jun 3, 09, 19:18 / #
PlasticPole: That's old fashioned. The courts agree the mother and father owe a child equal support whether they are married at the time the child is born or not. I'm well aware as things are at present ! I'm expressing my opinion as it should be!

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 19:24 / #
Ironside: I'm expressing my opinion as it should be! I wonder what would happen if the father automatically got custody in such cases with no support from the mother. Would it be alright then?

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,786 Joined: Feb 26, 09	Jun 3, 09, 19:55 / #
PlasticPole: I wonder what would happen if the father automatically got custody in such cases with no support from the mother. Would it be alright then? If he'll agree - no problem! Automatically - no!

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,432 Joined: May 28, 09	Edited by: PlasticPole Jun 3, 09, 20:04 / #
Ironside: If he'll agree - no problem! Automatically - no! lol I say he should automatically get custody. If that were the case men would think twice about it because then they would have to figure out ways to take care of babies on their own and they wouldn't like that. Yep! The woman can change her mind and leave at any time leaving the man with everything and not owe anything. Good idea!

ZIMMYThreads: 10 Posts: 2,353 Joined: Feb 21, 09	Jun 3, 09, 20:44 / #
As been suggested by another get a DNA test and make sure the child is yours. There have been a tremendous amount of cases in the U.S. where a woman gets pregnant and then picks the man who can best support her (whether he's the real father or not). amoeba: i forgot to mention that she wants me to have no input in the childs life - to be honest I dont either It's a bad sign when a woman wants money but otherwise wants to keep the 'father' out of the picture, a very bad sign. But then, that doesn't seem to bother you as you somehow have no 'feelings' toward your progeny. Rest assured that this child will at some time in his/her life want to contact you.

sadieannThreads: 4 Posts: 320 Joined: Apr 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 22:03 / #
ZIMMY: It's a bad sign when a woman wants money but otherwise wants to keep the 'father' out of the picture, a very bad sign. But then, that doesn't seem to bother you as you somehow have no 'feelings' toward your progeny. Rest assured that this child will at some time in his/her life want to contact you. What ever a mother's personal feelings are towards the father, it should be irrelevant. The child's interests are the most important and a mother and father should protect that!Hopefully, "Amoeba" at this time has learned from his cold heartedness before the surprise visit.

moonlightThreads: 7 Posts: 115 Joined: Nov 10, 08	Jun 3, 09, 23:49 / #
ShelleyS: moonlight: If the child was living with you, you would be paying A LOT more than a miserable €275. Thats nearly £300 quid at todays rate, my mate doesnt get that off her ex husband a month no where near! I mean that raising a child costs a lot more that 275e a month. He doesn't have to put in any effort, just pay the money - of course that is if the child is his. I feel sorry for the child in this situation.

SzwedwPolsceThreads: 13 Posts: 1,915 Joined: Feb 21, 09	Edited by: SzwedwPolsce Jun 4, 09, 00:03 / #
It's not very uncommon that a pregnant woman, who doesn't really know who the father is, picks one of the men she was with just to get economical support. DNA-test! Ironside: mother should support child born out of wedlock So it's only her fault that they didn't use protection? Or didn't have sex, or whatever. I have never heard anyone in my whole life with that kind of opinion. ZIMMY: It's a bad sign when a woman wants money but otherwise wants to keep the 'father' out of the picture, a very bad sign. I totally agree! She denying her baby its father. It's horrible.

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,786 Joined: Feb 26, 09	Edited by: Moderator Jun 4, 09, 00:34 / #
SzwedwPolsce: So it's only her fault that they didn't use protection? Or didn't have sex, or whatever. I have never heard anyone in my whole life with that kind of opinion. I'm not judging anyone, all I'm saying that if we have an adult who is free to do as he/she please in the boundaries of the law than is clear and logical to me that consequences of said adult should be his/her alone! Why taxpayers and other people should be involved ? But if you ask why only mother should be responsible: - contraception - abortion - adoption those options are open for her - as she is well aware that having sex may lead to pregnancy- hers not her partner! Do you have problem with it? # To All: The OP asked about child maintenance and whether 275E was too much...and nothing else.