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Scouse Sayings



szarlotkaThreads: 14
Posts: 3,349
Joined: Feb 20, 07 		  Mar 10, 09, 19:04 /  #
Last night was like being the only sassenach in a Glasgie pub. So I thought I would provide some essential training for any of you nice Polish people who are fortunate enough to be based in or even visiting the land of my birth. In keeping with the general humour of the area I have started off with some essential dismissive remarks:

a bit of a divvy: stupid

a right we: totally uninitiated

backbencher: little to say

barm pot: daft

bed wetter: early riser

blodger: hanger-on

clergy, the: after hours drunks

crates: immigrants

Frankenstein: mother-in-law

gob shakes, the: compulsive talker

Rockefeller: tight-fisted

sconehead: foolish

scut: low life

ten pence to the shillun: mentally deficient

toerag: contemptible (note why did VW call their off roader the Touareg?)

tomnoddies: local fools
szkotja2007Threads: 38
Posts: 2,544
Joined: Dec 29, 06 		Edited by: szkotja2007   Mar 10, 09, 20:29 /  #
Are yer yeah? Like.

Yosser fae Saughton
Yosser fae Saughton
SeanBMThreads: 41
Posts: 8,726
Joined: Mar 10, 08 		Edited by: SeanBM   Mar 10, 09, 20:50 /  #
Harry Enfield - The Scousers Visit The Beach


I actually never really found this comedy funny.
Probably because I don't know what it is.
Obviously it is a sterio type, what do youz make of it?.
TrevekThreads: 33
Posts: 2,155
Joined: May 21, 08 		  Mar 11, 09, 09:09 /  #
"Giz a job!"
spierettiThreads: 5
Posts: 177
Joined: Sep 25, 08 		  Mar 11, 09, 10:59 /  #
"Dey do doh don't dey doh"
DaisyThreads: 16
Posts: 2,172
Joined: Apr 28, 07  Pictures: 2 		  Mar 11, 09, 15:03 /  #
I learnt some Scouse when i worked for the railway

"me granny died and i have to get back home for the funeral, but me giro got nicked, but i can get the money later, as soon as I get back to Liverpool"

" me tickets are in me other jacket pocket"

"I lost me ticket, can you give me another one"

"it is my credit card, honest"

"I never used the ticket, can I have a refund, I don't know how dat hole got punched in it"
szarlotkaThreads: 14
Posts: 3,349
Joined: Feb 20, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 15:27 /  #
Daisy:
I learnt some Scouse when i worked for the railway

It just goes to show how resourceful the scallies are.
ShelleySThreads: 18
Posts: 3,647
Joined: Jun 26, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 15:59 /  #
Ar Lar (usually preceded by: A ya alright there) - Hello mate
MrBubblesThreads: 13
Posts: 768
Joined: Nov 13, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 18:18 /  #
Scratch - to sign on ("I got to get up early tomorrow cos I'm scratchin down the dole office")
The Liverpool Laptop - a pizza box
osiolThreads: 59
Posts: 4,714
Joined: Jul 25, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 19:35 /  #
I remember when my brother's bike disappeared somewhere in the Merseyside area. He told me that it had been scoused.

Is it just my imagination, or is the old Liverpudlian accent's adenoidal sound being replaced by just plain whineyness?
szarlotkaThreads: 14
Posts: 3,349
Joined: Feb 20, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 19:50 /  #
St. Peter is standing at the Pearly Gates one day when up walks a group of forty Scousers all wanting to get into heaven.

St. Peter tells them that there isn't enough room for them all, and asks them to wait while he goes off to ask God to tell him which ones he should let in.

"Pick the ten most righteous. They shall enter Heaven," says God.

Ten minutes later Peter comes running back to God, out of breath. "They're gone!" he exclaims.

"What, all forty?" says God. "Not the Scousers," says Peter, "The bloody gates...!"

osiol:
Is it just my imagination, or is the old Liverpudlian accent's adenoidal sound being replaced by just plain whineyness?

Sadly I think you are right.
osiolThreads: 59
Posts: 4,714
Joined: Jul 25, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 19:58 /  #
Any quotations of Beatles lyrics or things that any of them famously said are kind of Scouse sayings.
What about Cilla Black and "Hasn't she got lovely hur?"
DaisyThreads: 16
Posts: 2,172
Joined: Apr 28, 07  Pictures: 2 		  Mar 11, 09, 20:36 /  #
Paddy, Taffy and Scouse are sat in the pub. Paddy looks up and says, “there’s Jesus drinking at the bar” Taffy says “you’re right, I’m gonna buy him a pint” Paddy and Scouse stick a pint behind the bar for Jesus as well.
Jesus sinks the first pint, walks over to Paddy and shakes him by the hand “ thank you very much for your hospitality” says Jesus “no problem” says Paddy “ My pleasure” Then Paddy says “I don’t believe it, the arthritis in my hand is cured, it’s a miracle”
Jesus then sinks the second pint, walks over to Taffy and shakes him by the hand and thanks him for the pint. Taffy looks down at his hands “my eczema, it’s cleared up, it’s a miracle”
Jesus sinks the third pint, walks over to Scouse with his hand outstretched, Scouse leaps out of his chair and says to Jesus “Eh, keep yer bloody hands off me, it’s taken me years to get this bad back, I’m not losing me disability benefit for you, even if you are Jesus”
time meansThreads: 9
Posts: 2,306
Joined: Apr 21, 08  Pictures: 1 		  Mar 11, 09, 20:47 /  #
what do you call a scouser in a mansion?

a burglar.
DaisyThreads: 16
Posts: 2,172
Joined: Apr 28, 07  Pictures: 2 		  Mar 11, 09, 20:58 /  #
What do you call a scouser in a suit?

the accused
Shawn_H   Mar 11, 09, 21:02 /  #
What do you get when you line up 7 scousers in a row?

A full set of teeth!

Actually, I bastardized another ethnic joke.
szarlotkaThreads: 14
Posts: 3,349
Joined: Feb 20, 07 		  Mar 11, 09, 21:59 /  #
Three men, a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine ?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances !!!!!"
Shawn_H   Mar 11, 09, 22:33 /  #
Why did the scouser cross the road?

To get to the other ditch.
BubbaWooThreads: 46
Posts: 4,438
Joined: Sep 26, 06 		  Mar 12, 09, 01:14 /  #
calm down



theyre not all teevin bastards by the way... it's just a stereotype
TrevekThreads: 33
Posts: 2,155
Joined: May 21, 08 		  Mar 12, 09, 13:23 /  #
osiol:
Is it just my imagination, or is the old Liverpudlian accent's adenoidal sound being replaced by just plain whineyness?

Could be. Part of the reason for the adenoidal sound was the poor condition of the houses (dampness). You get the same in 'schemey' Glasgow. After the housing got better younger generations just got the accent from their parents.

Incidentally, Liverpool is known to be one of the earliest examples of 'green' environmental architecture. The churches have had lead-free roofs for years.
BubbaWooThreads: 46
Posts: 4,438
Joined: Sep 26, 06 		  Mar 12, 09, 13:26 /  #
Trevek:
The churches have had lead-free roofs for years.

ok... most of them are teevin bastards
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