Abuse in relationships.

Vincent:

Maybe a couple of weeks anger management course, wouldn't do you any harm either ;)

dtaylor5632:

I have always found Polish girls a little bit more highly strung. My first Polish gf once cut my face with an empty beer can. I understood why she did it, I was being a little bit of a prick, but still I thought it was over the top. She didn't though.

LeftyThreads: 19 Posts: 160 Joined: Jul 23, 09	Edited by: Lefty Aug 9, 09, 13:24 / #
I've had the recent experience of being punched and kicked by a Polish woman when I confronted her about it (via sms afterward) and told her she's lucky I didn't hit her back (which I would never do but I hope you know where I'm going with this) she told me that she has hit her ex's before and nobody said they would ever hit her back. I was standing shocked reading this message wondering if she thinks this is normal! I think this is a crazy attitude and I wonder (since that was my first Polish girlfriend) is that the norm culturally? I wouldn't stand for any abuse of any kind and to be labeled a pus*y wouldn't offend me even in that macho Polak way in which guys in Poland always want to seem like they are tough and are immune to anything. Basically I'm asking about challenging the normal view on this topic that it's ok for girls to hit guys and if he complains he's a cipa but if a guy hits a girl he would most likely be beaten by her friends. I just wonder what everyone's thoughts are on this topic.

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09	Aug 9, 09, 13:28 / #
Lefty: I think this is a crazy attitude and I wonder (since that was my first Polish girlfriend) is that the norm culturally? it is a crazy attitude and NO, violence and abuse is not a normal part of cultural norm in Poland. It must have been her home upbringing.

NikaThreads: 3 Posts: 651 Joined: Jul 21, 09	Aug 9, 09, 13:35 / #
no it is not a norm in Poland to hit one's boyfriend! so no worries you can continue dating Polish girls without fear of being treated like a punchbag :) This girl must have some serious anger management issues...

jump_bunnyThreads: 8 Posts: 332 Joined: May 14, 09	Aug 9, 09, 13:37 / #
Nika: This girl must have some serious anger management issues... I agree.

LeftyThreads: 19 Posts: 160 Joined: Jul 23, 09	Edited by: Lefty Aug 9, 09, 13:43 / #
I'm no saint, I've lost my temper and broke things/punched walls etc but I've never hit her. I'm not really challenging that shes fuc*ed up I'm rather talking about the stereotype of abuse and how this integrates with sexism towards men.

VincentThreads: 15 Posts: 1,706 Joined: Sep 9, 07 [Moderator]	Aug 9, 09, 13:51 / #
Lefty: I'm no saint, I've lost my temper and broke things/punched walls etc Maybe a couple of weeks anger management course, wouldn't do you any harm either ;)

dtaylor5632Threads: 49 Posts: 4,459 Joined: May 2, 09	Aug 9, 09, 13:52 / #
I have always found Polish girls a little bit more highly strung. My first Polish gf once cut my face with an empty beer can. I understood why she did it, I was being a little bit of a prick, but still I thought it was over the top. She didn't though.

LeftyThreads: 19 Posts: 160 Joined: Jul 23, 09	Edited by: Lefty Aug 9, 09, 13:52 / #
Vincent: Maybe a couple of weeks anger management course, wouldn't do you any harm either ;) I'm already on it! I'm aware of my faults and I address them. ;P dtaylor5632: I have always found Polish girls a little bit more highly strung. My first Polish gf once cut my face with an empty beer can. I understood why she did it, I was being a little bit of a prick, but still I thought it was over the top. She didn't though. See that's just it though dt. Why did she find that acceptable?

NikaThreads: 3 Posts: 651 Joined: Jul 21, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:00 / #
Oh my God - she cut your face with a beer can!!!!!?????? I think that these girls realise they exaggerated but they just don't want to admit their mistake, I mean you can't think that punching/kicking/cutting poeple is OK!

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09	Edited by: aphrodisiac Aug 9, 09, 14:01 / #
OK, you admitted that you have problems with your own temper. Maybe you somehow attracted to people who have similar ways of bahavior?

dtaylor5632Threads: 49 Posts: 4,459 Joined: May 2, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:13 / #
Lefty: This was my problem, I always thought that maybe I should try and work things out rather than walk away. hęę you live and learn. Yep time is a great teacher, I tend to try and work things out now.

RevokeNiceThreads: 21 Posts: 2,765 Joined: Jun 20, 09	Aug 9, 09, 15:54 / #
dtaylor5632: Everyone has their tipping points, key is to know when to back away from argument before you get to yours. Assualt is assualt. If you done the same you would be locked up, and quite rightfully so. I was at a weeding 18 months ago and got drunk with some old mates, my missus at the time got pissed off as she couldnt find me and I thought I was up to no good. When she found me, she slapped me across the face and dragged me upstairs. She banged my head off the wall a few times on the way. Id a busted up nose and a few scars. The next morning half the wedding party banged down the door to laugh at my war wounds. If it was the other way around, I would be doing porridge.

SokratesThreads: 19 Posts: 4,464 Joined: Jan 19, 09 [Suspended]	Aug 9, 09, 17:20 / #
Lefty: How on earth would that be possible? We didn't meet at a fight club! Doesnt matter, similarities attract, thats a proven statement in psychiatry, if you're focked up you're bound to attract similar personalities. This said you're a strong guy, restrain her and tell her calmly that getting physical equals becoming single. Though if she's your wife its ok to beat her without any actuall reason, wives have no human rights.

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09	Aug 9, 09, 18:42 / #
Sokrates: Doesnt matter, similarities attract, thats a proven statement in psychiatry, if you're focked up you're bound to attract similar personalities. something along that line. I did not use fok though.

LeftyThreads: 19 Posts: 160 Joined: Jul 23, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:02 / #
aphrodisiac: OK, you admitted that you have problems with your won temper. Maybe you somehow attracted to people who have similar ways of bahavior? How on earth would that be possible? We didn't meet at a fight club!

dtaylor5632Threads: 49 Posts: 4,459 Joined: May 2, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:03 / #
Lefty: Why did she find that acceptable? Because I was pushing her to loose her temper. I'm a calm guy so I cant really be bothered with someone arguing, I just pretend not to listen and repeat uhuh over and over... She admitted it was not acceptable a few days later, we broke up a month or so later after constant arguments.

NikaThreads: 3 Posts: 651 Joined: Jul 21, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:06 / #
dtaylor5632: She admitted it was not acceptable a few days later, pffff I feel relieved!

dtaylor5632Threads: 49 Posts: 4,459 Joined: May 2, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:08 / #
Everyone has their tipping points, key is to know when to back away from argument before you get to yours.

LeftyThreads: 19 Posts: 160 Joined: Jul 23, 09	Aug 9, 09, 14:12 / #
dtaylor5632: Everyone has their tipping points, key is to know when to back away from argument before you get to yours. This was my problem, I always thought that maybe I should try and work things out rather than walk away. hęę you live and learn.

beckskiThreads: 19 Posts: 2,148 Joined: May 15, 07 MEMBER	Aug 9, 09, 18:29 / #
dtaylor5632: My first Polish gf once cut my face with an empty beer can. I understood why she did it, I was being a little bit of a prick Physical violence is never acceptable. You should have filed battery charges against her. A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07	Aug 9, 09, 19:00 / #
yeah, domestic violence is quite high in PL.. don't let anyone here fool you.

NikaThreads: 3 Posts: 651 Joined: Jul 21, 09	Aug 9, 09, 20:00 / #
plk123: yeah, domestic violence is quite high in PL.. don't let anyone here fool you. it's true but it's rather men towards women....

SokratesThreads: 19 Posts: 4,464 Joined: Jan 19, 09 [Suspended]	Aug 9, 09, 20:01 / #
Nika: it's true but it's rather men towards women.... You just keep falling down those stairs.

welshguyinpolaThreads: 32 Posts: 462 Joined: Jan 9, 08	Aug 9, 09, 20:03 / #
I have been there and done that. My wife used to lash out and when I told her to stop it I was labelled a pu**y. She used to do it in supermarkets and in other public places. I put a stop to it by leaving. Everytime she tries to hit me I pack my suitcase and go home for a few days. She begs for me to come back and she hasnt done it now for over a year. But it is inbuilt in some of these Polish girls. Her friends are the same they all lash out and sometimes i feel sorry for their pathetic husbands when I see them sit there and take it. Its all to do with the Polish man being a pantoflarz i reckon

SzwedwPolsceThreads: 13 Posts: 1,915 Joined: Feb 21, 09	Edited by: SzwedwPolsce Aug 9, 09, 20:05 / #
I get really tired when I read about this cr@p. You are men, if a woman starts to hit you, make her stop. Just grab her arms and say it's game over. Some people have severe problems with their behavior. It's best to just stay away from them.

NikaThreads: 3 Posts: 651 Joined: Jul 21, 09	Aug 9, 09, 20:08 / #
Are you guys serious or you are making up these stories? I probably shouldn't but I burst into laughter when I read them. I've never heard/seen women getting physical with their husbands. I am astonished!!!

welshguyinpolaThreads: 32 Posts: 462 Joined: Jan 9, 08	Aug 9, 09, 20:09 / #
It happens here though cos the men let it happen. Its about time the men of this country grew a set

SzwedwPolsceThreads: 13 Posts: 1,915 Joined: Feb 21, 09	Edited by: SzwedwPolsce Aug 9, 09, 20:17 / #
welshguyinpola: It happens here though cos the men let it happen. Its about time the men of this country grew a set That's what I am saying. Men are almost always stronger than women. If she is attacking you just make her stop. As I said, just grab her arms, and hold her still, until she understands what the f*ck she's doing. Hitting someone is a criminal offense and you have the right to defend yourself. Do I really need to say this?

ZIMMYThreads: 10 Posts: 2,353 Joined: Feb 21, 09	Aug 9, 09, 20:22 / #
Lefty: Basically I'm asking about challenging the normal view on this topic that it's ok for girls to hit guys and if he complains he's a cipa but if a guy hits a girl he would most likely be beaten by her friends. Perhaps the most underreported abuse and violence is female domestic abuse of spouses and boyfriends. Men are too embarrassed to notify the police when they are battered (to use feminist terminology). In western countries there are shelters and various forms of help for women which are usually funded by tax dollars. That is not the case for males who have to "take it like a man". http://www.batteredmen.com/ Virtually all studies show that women hit men just as often as men strike women. The difference is in reporting these activities. Another difference is the unfortunate fact that when women hit or kick men it is often considered humorous. In a domestic scenario, personal relationships and emotions rule so 'size does not matter'. Men often do not strike back even though they could.

SokratesThreads: 19 Posts: 4,464 Joined: Jan 19, 09 [Suspended]	Aug 9, 09, 20:35 / #
ZIMMY: Men are too embarrassed to notify the police Wouldnt you? If my girl tried to kick my ass i'd restrain her, Szwed is right we're stronger, if you're getting beaten by your spouse it only proves something is wrong with you as well as with her.