Financially...is marriage an outdated tradition?

scrappleton:

Well, it won't strengthen anything for the man if she decides to divorce him in 4 - 5 years and have his wages garnished. Marriage is a good deal for the woman not for the man. Have fun with women buy them presents maybe have a kid whatever but don't marry one. Marriage is the "death of hope" as Woody Allen said.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 3, 09, 15:40 / #
Financially...is marriage an outdated tradition? We were discussing this in the pub last night...and it brought about quite an interesting debate, especially between males and females. So back in the day, Marriage was a huge event and presents that were given were for the marital home. But then people had more savings then due to living with their parents, often until they got married. So the question is, nowadays, when so many people have mortgages and a lot of financial outgoing, is having a big wedding still financially viable (ie. should people be taking out loans just to have this big wedding or should the tradition change to smaller events)?

SeanBMThreads: 41 Posts: 8,727 Joined: Mar 10, 08	Edited by: SeanBM Jun 3, 09, 16:31 / #
Are people not richer now than before in Scotland?. For many, before, it was the one big day in their life. Going on honeymoon could have been their only time out side their town (or at least to the other end of it). They did not have a car, or modern conveniences and did not go on holiday (abroad) about once a year. Not related to my last point, I think a big wedding is a matter of preference. Why Cardno85, anyone in mind???

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07	Edited by: plk123 Jun 3, 09, 21:36 / #
isn't marriage and outdated tradition anyway?

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,429 Joined: May 28, 09	Jun 3, 09, 21:53 / #
plk123: isn't marriage and outdated tradition anyway? YES!!! Definitely!

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 00:47 / #
SeanBM: Why Cardno85, anyone in mind??? Haha, no, literally just transferring a pub conversation into here. SeanBM: Are people not richer now than before in Scotland?. For many, before, it was the one big day in their life. Going on honeymoon could have been their only time out side their town (or at least to the other end of it). They did not have a car, or modern conveniences and did not go on holiday (abroad) about once a year. That is true in terms of belongings and the fact that so many people have houses. But financially, most are in debt, something pretty much unheard of 20-30 years ago. But marriage has stayed constant in that people want the whole big shebang...but is that financially viable any more. I mean I know people who spent 2000 quid on a dress and 500 pound on a cake...when you are paying off a mortgage, car, tv, etc...is that money really worth it? Or have i just become an old cynic before my time?

frdThreads: 8 Posts: 1,956 Joined: Feb 3, 09	Jun 4, 09, 01:54 / #
so are you guys talking about marriage or marriage ceremony ? because it seems like the latter : o

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Edited by: Moderator Jun 4, 09, 02:04 / #
frd: so are you guys talking about marriage or marriage ceremony ? because it seems like the latter : o Well my post was more the ceremony as I was asking about the financial side of it...but moderators didn't like that. So I got stuck in with general marriage. OK, back to the OFF TOPIC where you originally posted. No bother for us. :)

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07	Edited by: plk123 Jun 4, 09, 02:08 / #
this kind of "moderating" is bs. at times i really hate this place. as to money tossed for the ceremony, whatever you want. it's your money or credit.. some go way overboard, imho but hey, if it means that much to you.. go for it. personally, less is more. ;)

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 02:14 / #
Cardno85: OK, back to the OFF TOPIC where you originally posted. No bother for us. :) I didn't want to sound like I was complaining. I know the two topics are marriage orientated. But that was why I posted here in the first place...because it was a conversation more on the financial aspect of marriage and not the institution itself. Thanks for moving it back though :)

frdThreads: 8 Posts: 1,956 Joined: Feb 3, 09	Edited by: frd Jun 4, 09, 02:14 / #
the ceremony may be expensive, but marriage as such is a union that strenghtens financial possibilities of 2 people.. ( fi you might get a bigger loan from a bank ) still the fact of getting married is not needed to be in such union.. well maybe for different kinds of allowances

fred_chopin	Edited by: fred_chopin Jun 4, 09, 02:23 / #
Cardno85: is it still true that it strengthens financial possibilities? For sure. Two incomes paying the bills is better than one. It is also true that once kids come along, there are more financial obligations to attend to. And in these times, with mounting job losses, that other income can become rather important should one spouse lose their job. Often, people don't tend to check their financial compatibility though. I have seen that cause big issues in a marriage.

scrappletonThreads: - Posts: 1,365 Joined: Apr 28, 09	Jun 4, 09, 02:49 / #
fred_chopin: One should be very sure that the person one marries is the right one. This is a hard thing to gage when you're trapped in the "moment", Freddie. I derive no sense of joy in what I typed up there but statistics don't lie. Well they can be skewed a bit but you get my meaning. Love doesn't last.. Sorry but life isn't a Disney film. Doesn't mean life has no meaning. I'm one happy bastard bachelor.

scrappletonThreads: - Posts: 1,365 Joined: Apr 28, 09	Jun 4, 09, 02:51 / #
Cardno85: I am not anti-marriage. Just looking at it from a purely financial point of view. What the hell is wrong with that? That's responsible if you ask me.

fred_chopin	Jun 4, 09, 02:57 / #
scrappleton: I derive no sense of joy in what I typed up there but statistics don't lie. You're right. It is a bit of a crap shoot, but some folks are just destined for the divorce court before the ring is on the finger. scrappleton: Love doesn't last Don't generalize. Some old timers love each other greater than the day they married. Doesn't mean to say that love doesn't change over the years. It can / does grow in different ways, and for each couple, for different reasons. There has to be commitment on the part of two mature adults. scrappleton: Sorry but life isn't a Disney film You're not telling me anything I don't already know.... scrappleton: I'm one happy bastard bachelor. I hope it lasts for you, if that is what you really want. Cardno85: No longer are people saving money for a wedding and house (and relying on wedding gifts to fill said house), but now people already have their house, their mortgage and a collossal amount of debt which they didn't have before. And people are marrying later in life than before.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 02:19 / #
frd: the ceremony may be expensive, but marriage as such is a union that strenghtens financial possibilities of 2 people See I would think this in the past...however, nowadays when people are more independent, live alone in their own house (or together before marriage), is it still true that it strengthens financial possibilities?

scrappletonThreads: - Posts: 1,365 Joined: Apr 28, 09	Edited by: scrappleton Jun 4, 09, 02:25 / #
Cardno85: or together before marriage), is it still true that it strengthens financial possibilities? Well, it won't strengthen anything for the man if she decides to divorce him in 4 - 5 years and have his wages garnished. Marriage is a good deal for the woman not for the man. Have fun with women buy them presents maybe have a kid whatever but don't marry one. Marriage is the "death of hope" as Woody Allen said.

fred_chopin	Jun 4, 09, 02:27 / #
scrappleton: Well, it won't strengthen anything for the man if she decides to divorce him in 4 - 5 years One should be very sure that the person one marries is the right one. This is not a decision to be taken lightly. This also speaks volumes about our disposable society. In my parents time, divorce was a rarity.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 02:28 / #
scrappleton: Well, it won't strengthen anything for the man if she decides to divorce him in 4 - 5 years and have his wages garnished. Marriage is a good deal for the woman not for the man. Have fun with women buy them presents maybe have a kid whatever but don't marry one. Marriage is the "death of hope" as Woody Allen said. I think we are straying off the subject. I am looking more about the differences between now and 20-30 years ago financially in the ceremony. Is there still an excuse for a big ceremony now and inviting lots of people?

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07	Jun 4, 09, 02:33 / #
^^ what's changed in your opinion?

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 02:49 / #
Well, I think that the whole finacial state of the individual has changed. No longer are people saving money for a wedding and house (and relying on wedding gifts to fill said house), but now people already have their house, their mortgage and a collossal amount of debt which they didn't have before. Which is making the whole ceremony a bit of a waste of cash really. It's a lot of money to lay out on a landmark which, looking at it is no longer a change in life as much as just an excuse for a party. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-marriage. Just looking at it from a purely financial point of view.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 02:59 / #
As i say, this was more a conversation brought about by the current financial state, and the fact that a bunch of poor women lost loads of very expensive wedding dresses when a Glasgow firm went bust...so it got me thinking about the financial side of marriage and if it is really worth the money for a big wedding when the actual point of marriage can be done (not on the cheap per-say) without the HUGE expense.

beckskiThreads: 19 Posts: 2,148 Joined: May 15, 07 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 02:59 / #
Cardno85: Financially...is marriage an outdated tradition? The average wedding in the United States now costs approximately $30,000.00+ That's money the couple could use for the down payment on a home. It may be better for them to have a small civil wedding ceremony, as opposed to spending large sums of money on a large wedding A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!

BzibziohThreads: 6 Posts: 3,657 Joined: Oct 15, 08 [Suspended]	Jun 4, 09, 05:27 / #
Cardno85: Is there still an excuse for a big ceremony now and inviting lots of people? Personally for me, big wedding is ridicules waste of money. Cover the basics, skip the doves. Cardno85: But financially, most are in debt, something pretty much unheard of 20-30 years ago. People buy crap they don’t need because purchasing power is the only power accessible to the disenfranchised – which explains why those with the least tend to rack up the biggest mountains of debt. fred_chopin: Often, people don't tend to check their financial compatibility though. I have seen that cause big issues in a marriage Love does not conquer all. If you and your soul mate can't figure out how to paddle in the same direction, you'll wind up going in financial circles or -- to extend the metaphor painfully -- down the drain.

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07	Edited by: plk123 Jun 4, 09, 05:42 / #
Cardno85: No longer are people saving money for a wedding did they ever? didn't moms and pops pay for weddings most of the time? and still do. if the couple to be already has a house, aren't they ahead in the game already. now it may seem like an overexpandeture but to this point only guys have chimed in. fred_chopin: I hope it lasts for you, if that is what you really want. as opposed to getting hitched just for the sake of it? beckski: beckski Bzibzioh: Bzibzioh well, these lasses are practical. :)

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 06:46 / #
Cardno85: is having a big wedding still financially viable first of all, who the hell want to get married now days anyways...? second, if the couple really want to get married, it'd be about them, not about the family and friends... so a quiet wedding and a small party for family and close friends and then take off for a one week of a honeymoon is awesome... .... :)

BzibziohThreads: 6 Posts: 3,657 Joined: Oct 15, 08 [Suspended]	Jun 4, 09, 06:50 / #
pgtx: first of all, who the hell want to get married now days anyways...? Beside geys you mean? ;)

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 07:03 / #
Bzibzioh: Beside geys it's their life-mission.... ;)

TorqThreads: 65 Posts: 4,024 Joined: Apr 10, 09 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 07:45 / #
plk123: isn't marriage and outdated tradition anyway? Marriage, my godless friend, is a sacrament. Sacraments DO NOT get outdated :) pgtx: first of all, who the hell want to get married now days anyways...? 99% of all women for example. If they say differently - they lie :)

krysiaThreads: 26 Posts: 3,604 Joined: Aug 10, 06	Jun 4, 09, 07:47 / #
Torq: 99% of all women for example. Because it's romatic and beatiful. For the first few years. Then you're stuck in hell.

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER	Jun 4, 09, 07:47 / #
Torq: If they say differently - they lie :) that's what guys want to believe in... and that's fine, but not true... ;)