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posts: 28

my girlfriend is always trying to 'surprise' me.

WittgensteinThreads: 1 Posts: 3 Joined: Sep 8, 08	Nov 30, 08, 06:20 / #
for real left and right it's like 'surprise'! she travelled to where I live from a foreign country and rang the doorbell 'surprise'! that was actually great, but then i found out that she was hoping to surprise me in the nightclub. she tried to coordinate that with this promoter guy I knew who thought she was just trying to catch me doing some ****. Then she left and tried the same thing again! but I got it out from her a week before she took the plane. We actually live together now, but every two week-ends she goes out of town to visit her parents, and she's surprised me by being on the phone with me telling me she's going to a party and then my doorbell rings. She just did it again today. AM I paranoid or is she just trying to 'catch' me doing something? I'm a good guy I haven't cheated on her, so theoretically she shouldn't exhibit jealous behavior, but she has been for a couple of months. What do you guys think?

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Nov 30, 08, 06:30 / #
Right, there is a lesson that you might need to learn here. Women Are Insane! Accept it and your life will be easier :)

LondonChickThreads: 43 Posts: 1,261 Joined: Nov 19, 07	Nov 30, 08, 06:36 / #
Have you ever discussed this with her?

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 [Moderator]	Nov 30, 08, 06:41 / #
1. She does like to surprise you. 2. She is trying to catch you out 3. She is immature 4. She is insane She wouldn't be with you , if she didn't care for you. Relax. What you are actually telling us is that despite other commitments, she'd rather be with you.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Nov 30, 08, 06:43 / #
Yeah, maybe she thinks she is being nice and surprising you all the time (you see it in Romantic Comedies and stuff and it seems nice). Or she could be trying to check up on you. Either way, have a word, she sounds a few grosz short of a złoty.

PlywoodThreads: 5 Posts: 53 Joined: Nov 29, 08	Edited by: Plywood Nov 30, 08, 06:50 / #
Wittgenstein she will continue to do it to the grave

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Nov 30, 08, 06:51 / #
Maybe an escort to the grave would be in order then?

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Nov 30, 08, 06:57 / #
I would definately make an effort to go to the grave...you know make sure she is there and it's not another surprise.

szarlotkaThreads: 14 Posts: 3,349 Joined: Feb 20, 07	Nov 30, 08, 07:00 / #
Wittgenstein: AM I paranoid or is she just trying to 'catch' me doing something? I tend to think she just wants me to be with you. My wife once turned up in Bangkok where I had been working for 3 months or so just to say she missed me. Just knocked on the hotel door. Turned out to be a very good long weekend.

WittgensteinThreads: 1 Posts: 3 Joined: Sep 8, 08	Edited by: Wittgenstein Nov 30, 08, 07:00 / #
Yeah I mentioned it to her and she acted like I called her a baby rapist! We have a great relationship it's just this jealousy thing came out of left field and sometimes it goes away but then it comes back randomly... I understand surprises are nice, but it get's old after...the first time. what could be the motive behind repeated 'surprises'? The first time she did it was awesome, although, incidentally, my ex-girlfriend was on her way to hang out with me and my roomate, but we're friends anyway, things were still awkward however.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Nov 30, 08, 07:05 / #
Yeah, I can imagine it being nice the first time...after that it would get really annoying. Going on out to the pub, girlfriend is at the door wondering why you are not there and you get a bollocking when you get home...that would be a disaster!

pawianThreads: 90 Posts: 5,395 Joined: May 30, 08	Nov 30, 08, 07:08 / #
Wittgenstein: although, incidentally, my ex-girlfriend was on her way to hang out with me and my roomate, but we're friends anyway, things were still awkward however. This explanation throws a bit more light on your girlfriend`s behaviour.

Patrycja19Threads: 79 Posts: 3,974 Joined: Oct 31, 06	Nov 30, 08, 10:51 / #
Wittgenstein: She just did it again today. well there must be something in your relationship that your not telling us, I dont see how someone could be so suspicious without reasons.. and if you gave her some before then trust is prob the issue.. without it theres really no relationship. One of my friends is goin thru the same thing, doing this to her husband. but he did do things before in his life that lead to the WHY this happens part. you must not give her full attention while your out together, she sees your with her but looking another direction.. so she is looking for reasons.. sometimes when asking these questions, you should actually look at yourself and ask what significant incident happened that might have caused the distrust. if it was truely nothing at all, then it must have been something she had encountered in her past, and so her mistrust carried over to you.. either way, I suggest alot more communication and little more action ( showing her how you feel) kinda helps .. and finding out from the actual person, we can only do so much on here, its up to you to do the fixing. anyway, my thoughts on it.. hope things get better. I am still working with my friend.. sometimes it just takes a little patience.

shewolfThreads: 5 Posts: 1,834 Joined: Dec 23, 06	Nov 30, 08, 12:32 / #
Wittgenstein: AM I paranoid or is she just trying to 'catch' me doing something? I'm a good guy I haven't cheated on her, so theoretically she shouldn't exhibit jealous behavior, but she has been for a couple of months. What do you guys think? Something obviously happened to make her not trust you and she's not telling you what it is. Maybe if you think back to 2 months ago you would remember something. Is that when you started hanging out with your ex-girlfriend again? Could she have heard something from someone about you or found a text message?

polishgirltx	Nov 30, 08, 15:35 / #
to surprise a bf or a gf like that once or twice is nice... but to do it all the time get you think there is something wrong...

EraAtlantiaThreads: 3 Posts: 128 Joined: Sep 3, 08	Nov 30, 08, 15:45 / #
Surprise!....O-o

Patrycja19Threads: 79 Posts: 3,974 Joined: Oct 31, 06	Nov 30, 08, 16:41 / #
polishgirltx: to surprise a bf or a gf like that once or twice is nice... but to do it all the time get you think there is something wrong... yep... some past incident/or she found something.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Nov 30, 08, 17:04 / #
Well, hold out for a morning surprise, they are worth the wait

BabinichThreads: 1 Posts: 1,054 Joined: May 26, 08	Edited by: Babinich Nov 30, 08, 19:11 / #
Seanus: Maybe an escort to the grave would be in order then? Possibly a food taster? polishgirltx: to surprise a bf or a gf like that once or twice is nice... but to do it all the time get you think there is something wrong... Not to mention that the element of surprise is forever lost.

Tanya NikiiThreads: 1 Posts: 6 Joined: Nov 30, 08	Nov 30, 08, 21:50 / #
Cardno85: Right, there is a lesson that you might need to learn here. Women Are Insane! No we're not. We just like to engage in preemptive strikes. See it's all about prevention. shewolf: Something obviously happened to make her not trust you and she's not telling you what it is. Not necessarily. Sometimes we interpret something harmless (like viewing copious amounts of internet porn on a daily basis) as something threatening. I've heard it said that a man is only as faithful as his options. If she makes sure that she is the only person you really get to see, then the worst that could happen is if you cheat on her with... well.. her. However, by overreacting to perceived stimuli on a regular basis, we could accidentally create the situation we fear most. :( So, uh, yeah... Good Luck!

warhamThreads: 1 Posts: 13 Joined: Dec 10, 08	Dec 12, 08, 06:02 / #
If your not doing anything wrong there is nothing to worry about :)

sapphireThreads: 28 Posts: 1,418 Joined: Dec 7, 06	Dec 12, 08, 07:57 / #
i would say that she definitely doesnt trust you and is using this excuse to check up on you

blaze022Threads: - Posts: 10 Joined: Jan 5, 09	Jan 5, 09, 19:13 / #
I think its sweet, and maybe she really is doing it to be nice, And if you look to far into it, you may hurt her

AnnaFindThreads: 1 Posts: 2 Joined: Jan 9, 09	Jan 12, 09, 10:37 / #
Wittgenstein: I understand surprises are nice, but it get's old after...the first time. I have no real answer to your question, but is this line copy-righted :-)

_Fiish_Threads: 2 Posts: 10 Joined: Jan 11, 09	Jan 12, 09, 15:39 / #
she sounds crazy, that would start to creep me out

Lir	Jan 12, 09, 15:52 / #
Wittgenstein: then my doorbell rings. If you live together then why does she ring the doorbell ? Don't you trust her enough to have her own key ? COs I would be suspicious if I lived with someone in the same place and I didn't have my own front door key. Maybe you ought to play her game. Like <a> Don't answer the door when it happens <get a little peephole so you can see who it is before answering the door. Then if she is suspicious or the jealous type she will break the door down and then you will know what she is really thinking. Or <b> Dress up as a woman <wig, make up and dress> and when she rings answer the door and pretend to be a woman and she may think you are the other woman and you will then have your answer as to if she is just trying to catch you out or not . :)

George8600Threads: 20 Posts: 1,114 Joined: Feb 19, 09	Nov 7, 09, 03:13 / #
Haha that's so cute but in the same time fairly odd. She's obviously checking you because she has a trust issue: either from a rumor she heard or mere paranoia; especially since she's doing it so exessively. Best of luck.

BleedingRomeoThreads: 3 Posts: 47 Joined: Oct 24, 09	Nov 7, 09, 12:10 / #
Cardno85 Wittgenstein Wroclaw i think she is just being cute but talks can solve stuff. There is one more possibility, she does not trust you completely and feels insecure. thats why she surprises you trying to catch you with someone. women are insecure and more jealous than men so they usually hide this feeling from guys this way. EraAtlantia lolz

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