Need advice with Polish girl, I like her but she has a boyfriend.

pavel2:

a girl that i wanted so badly, had a boyfriend 2 years and i told her that i had feeling for her and so on... obviously she couldn't resist me so we seen each other in secret... she couldn't leave her bf becuase she didn't want to hurt him cause he loved her and she care for him.
after awhile we got closer then we were and i forced her to leave the guy eventually, becuase it has to be ended sometime... it wasn't very pleasant thing to do but there were not other options.

shewolfThreads: 5 Posts: 1,835 Joined: Dec 23, 06	Jun 28, 09, 23:30 / #
kaze: She knows what it will be like with him but with me its a gamble. Is this for real? This story doesn't make sense. If this woman is real, she is totally lying to you. kaze: We went out this last weekend and spent the night together. kaze: and thinks that we should slow down a bit That right there is your answer.

tornado2007Threads: 20 Posts: 3,497 Joined: Jul 11, 07	Jun 29, 09, 00:01 / #
to be honest mate it sounds like trouble, she could be trying to use you as an excuse to leave her boyfriend if he some how accidently finds out you two have been doing the business. Plus she already has a bf, why don't you show a little respect and back off until she becomes available on the free market!!!! How would you feel if somebody was tapping up your gf??? probably not that great

johnhThreads: 1 Posts: 6 Joined: Jul 27, 08	Jun 29, 09, 01:26 / #
hi Kaze i think maybe i have similar situation private message me

thebear45Threads: 2 Posts: 95 Joined: Apr 22, 09	Jun 29, 09, 04:21 / #
not good to be messing with her man. she has boyfriend. that is a policy i have. always avoid taking thing to higher level with girls with boyfriends unless they making it up ;)

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07	Jun 29, 09, 05:34 / #
kaze: she even asked me to kiss her just before she left. goodbye.

thebear45Threads: 2 Posts: 95 Joined: Apr 22, 09	Jun 29, 09, 06:18 / #
u know how it is bro, plk.

dcchrisThreads: 11 Posts: 687 Joined: Oct 29, 07	Jun 30, 09, 20:00 / #
kaze: I would be very surprised if she chose me hey you should be the one doing the choosing. why give her the power. you should choose to find another girl without such "complications"

kazeThreads: 6 Posts: 18 Joined: May 2, 09	Jul 1, 09, 20:06 / #
I'm curious to know what the typical Polish male mentality is regarding girlfriends (sorry if i'm being stereotypical). I found out today (haven't seen her for a few days) that he beat her up and that he's done it before in the past a few times when he's drunk. I know what i've been doing is wrong but after finding this out I hope that even if she doesn't choose to be with me, that she'll leave him, for her sake.

HarryThreads: 62 Posts: 8,508 Joined: May 2, 07 [Suspended]	Edited by: Harry Jul 1, 09, 20:34 / #
kaze: I found out today (haven't seen her for a few days) that he beat her up and that he's done it before in the past a few times when he's drunk. That is not typical for Polish men but it is far from unheard of. Especially in the smaller towns and villages. Pretty much how it was in England 30 years ago.

ShelleySThreads: 18 Posts: 3,647 Joined: Jun 26, 07	Jul 1, 09, 20:48 / #
Harry: Pretty much how it was in England 30 years ago. Domstic violence if probably worse now than it was 30 years ago, so you are talking bollox!

SokratesThreads: 19 Posts: 4,464 Joined: Jan 19, 09 [Suspended]	Jul 27, 09, 12:29 / #
kaze: but she doesn't know what to do because she doesn't want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings. Your lack of testicular fortitude is astounding, grow some nuts man! From my awesome and experienced point of view, women are peculiar creatures who will say a lot of things and you can pretty much ignore all of them and look at how they behave, i've been dating loads of girls who would initially say "no", actions not words, especially with women. This one apart from being a basically complicated creature is also fvcked up emotionally, she's got a boyfriend, plays her little games with him and at the same time milks you for all the wide eyed adoring stupidness you can provide. In the end she doesnt to give you anything, all she wants is for you to just be there and keep telling her she's awesome, boot the whiny bytch, also: kaze: She tells me to wait for her to find a new place to live If a woman wants to be with you she will never ask you to wait since she will be the one who can't wait herself, ever. kaze: if she truly wants to be with me then She does not, she never did and most likely never will, again women in love dont consider anything, a young woman in love is the next stupidest creature after a German shepherd puppy, you could drink and beat her and she'd still be with you (for a time at least). kaze: don't want to rush her either. You're about as important to her as Joe the cockroach, the moment you man up and stop being her crying shoulder she'll run for the hills.

niejestemcapitaThreads: 3 Posts: 666 Joined: Jan 3, 09	Jul 27, 09, 12:54 / #
kaze: kaze Sokrates has some good points. Stop being her shoulder to cry on, she has girlfriends for that. Then say you don't want to see her any more,unless she is genuinely single. Don't offer any help in moving. Soon you will find out if she is "stringing you along" or she really wants you.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Jul 27, 09, 23:26 / #
You should type to yourself, pavel. You know, loop the messages back to yourself. 'Quick, ask me if I care' was one of the best expressions taught to me by an American.

jump_bunnyThreads: 8 Posts: 332 Joined: May 14, 09	Edited by: jump_bunny Jul 27, 09, 23:27 / #
pavel2: i am no longer with that girl, and we are both fine and healthy. thanks No wonder you are not with her anymore because none of you is worth any trust. Who cheated? ha ha you're pathetic.

HarryThreads: 62 Posts: 8,508 Joined: May 2, 07 [Suspended]	Jul 1, 09, 20:59 / #
ShelleyS: Domstic violence if probably worse now than it was 30 years ago, so you are talking bollox! I thought that it was now better reported and that's why the figures have gone up. It certainly is now less socially accepted in the UK than it was 30 years ago.

PortugueseDudeThreads: 1 Posts: 6 Joined: Jul 12, 09	Jul 26, 09, 15:12 / #
OK...you did your part...keep some distance. When she feels you are not there for a while she will approach you. Simple as that! If you are always clingy and too warm you will keep the dynamics as is and thats not good...give her the pleasure of missing you!!! Cheers, PD

kazeThreads: 6 Posts: 18 Joined: May 2, 09	Jul 27, 09, 00:07 / #
Yeah that sounds like very good advice. Starting to get the feeling that this isn't going to work out now between us, which hurts but I know I can get over it. This past month we haven't been out over the weekend, she says its because her boyfriend knows about me that she can't find a good enough excuse. If she cared about me that much would she find a way to come out still or am I being a bit selfish? Her messages to me have become less affectionate but she still occasionally writes me Buziaki at the end of her messages, I've also found out that her boyfriend has started to "change". On the other hand she has been talking to two of her friends at work about me. One of them she said that she was "seeing this other guy", that being around him makes her so happy and she's miserable when she goes home but she doesn't know what to do because she doesn't want to hurt her boyfriend's feelings. The other girl, who is probably her best and only true friend (she said she sees her like a sister) she told that she will leave her boyfriend and that she really cares about me. Her friend told me that she knows her boyfriend personally and that he's always been nasty to her. She tells me to wait for her to find a new place to live and if she truly wants to be with me then i will step back and give her the time she needs. If she doesn't but isn't telling me, how long do I wait, i can't put my life on hold forever but I don't want to rush her either. Sorry for the long post lol.

foxtrot1213Threads: 2 Posts: 49 Joined: Aug 29, 08	Jul 27, 09, 13:06 / #
Two choices: 1. Tell her boyfriend about her little "adventures" anonymously. 2. Tell her you love her, make her confused, and leave her. 3. Find another fish. I'd go for option 2 and then to 3.

pavel2Threads: 1 Posts: 7 Joined: Jul 27, 09	Jul 27, 09, 23:05 / #
I had almost same story a girl that i wanted so badly, had a boyfriend 2 years and i told her that i had feeling for her and so on... obviously she couldn't resist me so we seen each other in secret... she couldn't leave her bf becuase she didn't want to hurt him cause he loved her and she care for him. after awhile we got closer then we were and i forced her to leave the guy eventually, becuase it has to be ended sometime... it wasn't very pleasant thing to do but there were not other options.

jump_bunnyThreads: 8 Posts: 332 Joined: May 14, 09	Jul 27, 09, 23:24 / #
pavel2: a girl that i wanted so badly, had a boyfriend 2 years and i told her that i had feeling for her and so on... obviously she couldn't resist me so we seen each other in secret... she couldn't leave her bf becuase she didn't want to hurt him cause he loved her and she care for him. after awhile we got closer then we were and i forced her to leave the guy eventually, becuase it has to be ended sometime... it wasn't very pleasant thing to do but there were not other options. So you are both liars and cheaters and I hope you will die burning in the fire muwahahaha.

pavel2Threads: 1 Posts: 7 Joined: Jul 27, 09	Jul 27, 09, 23:26 / #
i am no longer with that girl, and we are both fine and healthy. thanks

pavel2Threads: 1 Posts: 7 Joined: Jul 27, 09	Edited by: pavel2 Jul 27, 09, 23:30 / #
yay im sorry if i hurt your feelings madam yeah sure..

jump_bunnyThreads: 8 Posts: 332 Joined: May 14, 09	Jul 27, 09, 23:33 / #
pavel2: yay im sorry if i hurt your feelings madam What feelings? It simply disgusts me how arrogant people are, go to hell.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07	Jul 28, 09, 00:26 / #
All Polish girls have boyfriends...its a fact.....some admit to them...many don,t.....No such thing as a single girl in Polska.....

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,958 Joined: May 17, 07	Jul 28, 09, 00:58 / #
wildrover: All Polish girls have boyfriends...its a fact..... Mine have two boyfriends.

scrappletonThreads: - Posts: 1,365 Joined: Apr 28, 09	Jul 28, 09, 01:39 / #
southern: Mine have two boyfriends. ..but one bank account.

SokratesThreads: 19 Posts: 4,464 Joined: Jan 19, 09 [Suspended]	Jul 28, 09, 15:21 / #
jump_bunny: So you are both liars and cheaters and I hope you will die burning in the fire muwahahaha. Are you 15?

JMavenThreads: - Posts: 1 Joined: Jul 28, 09	Jul 28, 09, 18:35 / #
wow, Sokrates is very on point. All these stories are the same, some women lack creativity. It seems like girls like that just give you all the sack of ****, sad sack, damsle in distress B.S. and that's their angle to play you. You are being played! If you haven't had your way with this girl already then I'm sorry to say you've missed your chance because she's probably playing a few other guys right now. Probably you even know one of them. If she really wants to be with you, she'll do anything to be with you - not the other way around. Think about it. Grow some nuts or jerk it off; you'll feel better tomorrow.

kazeThreads: 6 Posts: 18 Joined: May 2, 09	Jul 28, 09, 19:10 / #
haha yeah we've done a lot, i'll leave it at that. But what a lot of people have been saying is starting to make sense, If she wanted to be with me that much then she would do anything to be with me, like she did before her boyfriend found out. Earlier this week she cooked for me and has generally been her old self, which really surprised me. We was also joking around today and she said something about other girlfriends, I asked her if she wanted me to find another one and she said no. Something else I'm curious about is that today I noticed a scratch down the top of her arm which was also bruised. I asked her about this and she said she doesn't know what it was and only noticed it on Sunday, sounded very suspicious to me.

Cardno85Threads: 33 Posts: 858 Joined: Jul 11, 08 MEMBER	Jul 28, 09, 19:17 / #
kaze: Earlier this week she cooked for me and has generally been her old self, which really surprised me. We was also joking around today and she said something about other girlfriends, I asked her if she wanted me to find another one and she said no. So she wants to have you ready and willing as a backup incase things don't go so well with the other boy. She wants to have her cake and eat it, get out of there man! kaze: Something else I'm curious about is that today I noticed a scratch down the top of her arm which was also bruised. I asked her about this and she said she doesn't know what it was and only noticed it on Sunday, sounded very suspicious to me. By all means keep an eye, but keep in mind you are biased and could be reading more into this than there actually is. It totally depends the nature of the injury. Keep in mind that the top of the arm is most likely to be a grab or being shoved against something. And it is a common area just to bump (i often have bruises on the top of my arm that i never knew were there until someone else pointed them out). If you think he is beating her then, as I say, keep an eye out for other tell tale signs...but don't be blinkered by your feelings for her. Oh, and get the hell out of there man!