What do you think about a relationship for distance?

time means:

what have you got to loose? my own experience was similar although i am in the uk and she was in poland. she visited me and i spent a lot of time in poland. sadly it ended but that was after 18 months. it left me with a fondness for poland if nothing else. give it a go :-)

oxiaThreads: 1 Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 16, 09	Jan 16, 09, 14:39 / #
Hi A few months ago i've met someone online, and while the time was passing he became a really special one to me, and as i know, i became a special one to him aswell. Never ever had so much in common before with anyone, we get on with almost no words spoken, tho can talk for hours and hours, make eachother laugh and simply happy... However, there are two things that seriously concern me, first is the age gap, he is a few nice years older than i am, tho I guess it wouldnt b such a problem, if it wasnt for that miles distance which is between me and him...( he's in wales, am in warsaw) I have doubts if relationship can survive such a situation, hence my question to you; what do you think about broadly speakin realtion in kinda situation? Possible to create or rather not? ps. not looking for psychologist, just wanna hear other people opinions and points of view, maybe someone had such an experience

dcchrisThreads: 11 Posts: 687 Joined: Oct 29, 07	Jan 16, 09, 14:45 / #
if you havent met him in person then you dont really know him and vice versa. so thats the first step. then sure its possible but eventually someone will have to move

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Jan 16, 09, 14:48 / #
I prefer a relationship for closeness, maybe it's just me ;)

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07	Jan 16, 09, 14:55 / #
I had a similar experiance myself...She was a Latvian living in Germany...I was a Brit living in Poland...everything was perfect over the internet , and despite major problems i got her to Poland...Everything went great for the first week , but her insane jealousy killed all my feelings very quickly...and having her in my home became a nightmare....thankfully she decided to move on to another victim in Germany....So , not a good story from me i am afraid , but untill you meet face to face with someone you can never know....You have as much chance of success as anyone else in this world , try to find a way of meeting each other without commiting yourself to something that might be difficult to get out of...and good luck to you....

oxiaThreads: 1 Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 16, 09	Jan 16, 09, 15:51 / #
Seanus: I prefer a relationship for closeness, maybe it's just me ;) So as everybody i suppose ;) wildrover: but her insane jealousy killed all my feelings very quickly... Thats sounds wierd to me if she had you that close to her... Thanks for gd luck and same to you. If it comes to my case, we've both decided to meet first and see how it will go... However, i think everybody needs 2 feel this second person attendance nearby, how to build the future with someone you see for instance twice a month? You cant share your life with him/her properly, and what goes after, you cant build up your actual friendship with that person, which can lead to cheatin on eachother, or perhaps starting to look for someone else, nearer..?

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Jan 16, 09, 16:17 / #
Distance relationships are notoriously tricky things. Not sth I'd enter into

oxiaThreads: 1 Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 16, 09	Edited by: oxia Jan 16, 09, 16:30 / #
Seanus: Distance relationships are notoriously tricky things. Not sth I'd enter into You never know, they say heart is not a servant. But deffinitely u gotta great resolution, which i go along with

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07	Jan 16, 09, 16:35 / #
Sometimes, the more you sample sth, the more you like it ;) You may find yourself in the position where you can't detach and grow frustrated. However, the flip side is that you can indulge yourself in a relatively risk-free way.

annanajduchThreads: - Posts: 3 Joined: Jan 17, 09	Jan 17, 09, 01:43 / #
Don't kid yourself about online relationships. Find them in real life with real people. Online relationships are great in and of themselves: online that is. For anything else, there is no substitute for real live people that you meet by interacting with face to face. Online is gerat for venting frustration late at night when one can't sleep. I am talking from experience, but of course you can take your own chances.

dcchrisThreads: 11 Posts: 687 Joined: Oct 29, 07	Jan 17, 09, 02:40 / #
meet the guy and see how it goes. if its meant to be then it will be. if not it wont. good luck

oxiaThreads: 1 Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 16, 09	Jan 17, 09, 05:50 / #
dcchris: if its meant to be then it will be. if not it wont. well said, I guess I will stick to that

time meansThreads: 9 Posts: 2,306 Joined: Apr 21, 08	Jan 17, 09, 06:33 / #
oxia: well said, I guess I will stick to that what have you got to loose? my own experience was similar although i am in the uk and she was in poland. she visited me and i spent a lot of time in poland. sadly it ended but that was after 18 months. it left me with a fondness for poland if nothing else. give it a go :-)

reeso3000Threads: 1 Posts: 6 Joined: Jan 17, 09	Jan 17, 09, 07:03 / #
I find myself in a similar situation at the moment - I am from Wales and my fiancée is from Malbork (currently still living there). She lived in Wales for around a year and we were distant friends at best but not much else. We first started talking on GG and that then developed to Skype - where we found we got on amazingly well and felt very comfortable with each other (Easy to do on the internet I know) but I felt the key was when we met up - I found that it was the same as our time online, we got on amazing and felt very comfortable with each other, I have been to Poland numerous times since and she has been to Wales and everything is going great, we recently got engaged and are getting married in July :D so I would like to say it is possible - not easy but possible, it is very difficult not being able to see her for such long periods of time of course and that does make it difficult which is something you need to be prepared for of course, but I feel that one of the most important things is giving the other person a true prospective of yourself when your online (at the end of the day you can be anyone you want to be online ;-p) as a result of us both being ourselves online I believe that it has set us up for when we are together in person also (of course I have learnt a lot of other things about her in person that I would never online) but she is the same person I have got to know on skype. Oh and finally if you are serious about it you of course need to be prepared to move if necessary or at least your partner does :D something which both my fiancée and I discussed at length before getting engaged. Well that’s my essay for you hope it may be of some worth to you ;-p

oxiaThreads: 1 Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 16, 09	Jan 17, 09, 07:20 / #
time means: what have you got to loose? my own experience was similar although i am in the uk and she was in poland. she visited me and i spent a lot of time in poland. sadly it ended but that was after 18 months. it left me with a fondness for poland if nothing else. give it a go :-) Thank you for support :D reeso3000: reeso3000 Lol.. we both were always brutally honest to eachother, what often leaded to rows, but eventually we always found a common language ;) There would be no point bothering myslef by him, if it was founded on pretending, and i suppose it wouldnt last for almost half a year, if it was so! Only one thing I can hope is to get on with him face2face as great as i do now.. Anyway thank you for your essay, it has a worth to me undoubtly:) And good luck to you and your woman :)

time meansThreads: 9 Posts: 2,306 Joined: Apr 21, 08	Edited by: time means Jan 17, 09, 07:24 / #
oxia: Thank you for support :D no worries :-)

kayemsesThreads: - Posts: 1 Joined: Jan 22, 09	Jan 22, 09, 18:41 / #
I believe that if both of you would like to make it work then it will work. I am in a long distance relationship as well, i am in the US while my boyfriend is in Warsaw. We also met online and only confirmed that we are to be together when we saw each other and found out that we could get along. The thing about being in a long distance relationship is that communication should always be open, and one is willing to move and settle.

SashaThreads: 2 Posts: 1,597 Joined: Apr 19, 08	Jan 23, 09, 00:45 / #
My experience is that she's in Germany and I'm in Russia. I think you should "transfer" your relationship into the real life ASAP to see the better picture of everything what is going on between you. The fact that you communicate easily and probably have lots of interests in common is only one side of the coin and doesn't necessarily mean you'll get along that well in the real life (including the bed). As for me we seriously think of hiving either in Russia or in Germany. :)