My BF Likes To Wear My Clothes

That is weird, even if he is a professional swimmer. Cyclists do it as well, I think.

i don't agree Ms Wolf. Most of the time people freak out when they find out something like that. I am not suprised he didn;t tell her for such a long time, since it is not something to be accepted widely by society.

Venus, I know you are shocked but give it sometime and do some research about similar behaviour of men. There are tonns of info about it and it is something people don't advertise about themselves. If he is a good in other departmetns as a boyfriend and a friend, maybe you should consider him as a person with a quirk.

One thing for sure is the fact that he trusted you enough with his secret, so cut him some slack.

It's a strange situation and I'm sure I'd feel the same way about the situation as VenuS does. I may be able to consider the person as a friend but I wouldn't be able to continue a relationship with them.



Yes, you see I think I would feel like this too. The image I have in my head of my "perfect" man does not have him wearing the latest Vera Wang and Jimmy Choos.



This would have made me suspicious. I would have been onto that one straight away. Unless he was a swimmer or something I can't imagine another reason for doing it. Did you ask him why he shaved his arms and legs? If so, what was his answer. Shaving his arms is pretty weird. Unless you mean armpits because I don't know any women who even shave their arms.



I do agree with that. The cross-dressing is a big thing for him yet he knows how taboo it is. He really does trust you, respect and like you an awful lot for him to have told you this. He probably expected the reaction you had and won't hold it against you so at least talk it through with him and don't lose him as a friend even if your relationship has changed. Apart from this, was your relationship good? If so, it's a lot to give up but also a lot to take on board. Good luck.

got to agree there.
When I was studying psychology we did a short semester on gender confusion ,sounds more like your guys a pure blood hetro sexual cross dresser.He's not going to run off with the milkman or start dancing to the Village People anytime soon.
In fact,I rather imagine,now he has "confesed" (god,get a grip,he likes dress up,would you dump him if once a month he dressed up as a Jonny Reb or Minuteman in some re enactment group?) to you then you have found yourself someone willing to commit to you 100%
Dont worry,your not lacking in femminie charms,and your not going to turn into a workboot wearing lesbian by assosiation. If you dont like the idea of seeing him playing dress up,tell him youd rather he didnt play when you were around,lay down the law and make sure he knows to lay off your best outfits :) Or,alternativly,find an excuse to attend a fancy dress party,get involved,dip a toe if you like,and see how you feel then.

I would disagree with this. The truth should have come out when they decided to move in together.



Absolutely. He's a straight guy who likes women's clothes.

Venus is a straight laced prude from Poland where men are men and women are women, and god forbid anything else. Venus, was the sex good? Was he nice to you? Is he kind, courteous and all the other things that you look for in a mate? If yes, then call him up and ask him for a "girls' night out." Face your fear. You may find you can have a lover and best friend.

Let's see what happens when he reveals his vibrator.



But you would like a wonderbra.



Maybe he did not like his hair to show when he was wearing mini skirts.



Yes,he helped choose her lingerie.

so you mean it's better not to say anything and to get involved with someone and then hurt them later? why is she feeling so disillusioned if it's okay?

lol,a joke but a good point,at least you havent got a fella whose eyes glaze over every time you go shopping :)


maybe she is the one keeping a secret and doing the hurting? Maybe he thought she was a nice,acepting girl who didnt rush to judgement when they first got together only to discover now that she is a narrow minded bigot. Maybe she is feeling dissillusioned through her own hang ups.

His glazed of jealousness.

What's prudish about wanting your man to be a man? The thing here is that she would have kept considering him to be a "manly man" if he had never shared this secret.



You don't say! ;)

Obviously my point was that all this time and she never considered the shaving odd? I would have, for sure.



Any man (given half the chance) would want to choose the lingerie his girl wore ;)

Has he still got a dick in his pants?if so,he is still a man ,fer fcuk sake....get some bleedin perspective :)

for manly man ,read,meathead......

Yes,but he would propose deliberately bigger size.



Maybe he did not want to leave hair in her panties.

that's why it's good to get everything out in the open before getting involved I think, so no one will be fooled.

Yes,and women should examine the crack.

Difficult times are inevitable and unavoidable. No-one's perfect.

Partly, it's a question of what you give up in order to make a relationship work. It could be anything from biting nails or leaving the teabag on the worksurface, to smoking or drinking, to having a vast collection of pornographic magazines stuffed under the bed or dressing up in women's clothes and going by the name of Rita. (Maybe without the Rita thing though).

This chap had made the decision not to give up this part of himself. If he did, he might have had to take up biting his nails or smoking or something far worse. Biting nails really is disgusting, and smoking kills. A feller carrying a handbag full of cosmetics and wearing a dress and little red high-heeled shoes isn't going to kill anyone. (Although the shoes might kill his back, so maybe I'm wrong).

She has so many options, it's difficult to suggest anything other than "Take your time. Only you can decide, but don't jump in any particular direction just yet. Take a step back and you will know what to do."

So girls keep away from shaved Slovaks(come to us).

Hmm...

I guess then, the big question VenuS has to ask her boyfriend is...does he want to be a man or a woman? He may not be gay, but he may not want to be a man.



I disagree. You don't have to be a meathead to be manly.



Then he'd most likely get a handbag around the head and a lot of making up to do. Most women don't suspect their men are dressing up in female clothing. In this world though, maybe they should start suspecting it... ;)

lol,southern,you kill me:) (though,it seems you have put some thought into this whole proces,anything you'd like to confess ;) )


Who is fooling who? Seriously,what sort of world do you think we all live in? What do you suggest,full disclosure of every single facet of both prospective partners life,pecadiloes,odd habits etc,would this be in the form of a written pre date agreent? Seriously,your not being practical are you here....

I find this very strange.I think they should check under the trousers for stockings.

OMG,whole new kettle of fish there! Off the top of my head the stats for this(and these are US figures to be relevant for the op) something like 1 in 10 men have cross dressed or are regular crossdressers,those who have GID (gender identity disorders) are something like 1 in 10,000. So,with those odds,chances are,he's happy keeping his meat and two veg' where it is :)

Yes, it's very difficult to admit that kind of thing to a partner so it's not something that a person should discuss until they are fully trusting of the person they want to tell. It's not a first date thing, like "Hi I'm southern, I prefer women's clothing" ;)

You have to trust the person you are telling, trust them an awful lot.



Lift up your trouser leg then.



Exactly! So I think she needs to get that subject dealt with before she can move on. It might make a difference to her overall reaction.

the woman who posted the topic says that she no longer feels like her man is a "manly man" because he dresses like a woman. why are all these other habits coming up now? maybe try convincing her why her man is a manly man in a dress.

Actualy,serious tip for the poster.
You say you found "his" clothes,by which I presume he has his own female wardrobe,OK then,here's something to consider; Are those clothes what you would describe as "sexy" or "fetashistic" ie,all mini skirts,ubber high heels and fish net stockings,or,are they "normal" female clothes?
If the former,he's definatly a hetro sexual straight guy who is a bit kinky,if the latter,maybe he does have deeper identity issues....


are you anyless of a woman when you wear jeans and a t shirt? Are you only a woma when in a nice flowery dress?
btw,I may be way off here but I have a vague feeling you introduced yourself on here as being (part?) Native american indian....if thats the case maybe you wanna look into your particular tribe/nations history/culture....considering most tribes reveared and honoured those of "the third sex" as being highly spiritual and uneqully placed to see the world from all sides of the gender divide.

I'm not sure, Mr. U2. What about Eddie Izzard. A straight man who wears normal women's clothes.
Either way, it's weird, but a lot of people are at least a little bit weird.

sorry you have me confused with someone else. but I'm flattered. :)

Ive seen his outfits:) They are way on the flamboyent side of normal though arnt they?
Hey,Im no expert,just studied it a bit in psychology and have lived an interesting showbiz life where nothing is as it first seems :)

well, when they met, he probably wasn't planning a realtionship with her right away, but perhaps he should have told her when they were moving in together.

What is done is done and they need to deal with what is. It is a difficult situation, but life and relationships are not movies but real life experiances, such as this.

This is a society thing. We accept that women wear jeans and tee shirts but we don't accept that men wear dresses. As a whole society just will not accept it. Individually it's a different thing. You accept that men may like to wear female clothing. Others agree with you, others don't but the overall feeling is men shouldn't wear female clothing.

Actually I do know a couple of guys who feel that women should always be wearing a dress or skirt as it's more "feminine". Once again, that's their individual view. Society says women can wear what they please.

Only sometimes.


That's the sunglasses by day and by night thing I suppose.

lol,no worries,but if your flattered,look into it. Another thing to remember is,it wasnt that long ago that blokes with long hair were considered unmanly and probably a bit helium heeled,look back a little further and women in trousers were paraihs . At the end of the day(ah,hate that phrase) its all superficial BS,its clothes.Its not a crime unless you are some loony moselman fanatic :)