She could be female Milosevic or saddam if she had the power!

we are bouth almost the same age and no kids not married. more or less the same hight and according to her gudgehement none of us are too good looking. i am from middel east but surprisly (euroupian looking with green eyes)
i met her in the elevatore of the building that we both live in "why the people in this building don't cominucate with each other?" was her starting conversation words. i shook her hand promissed not to let her feel lonly. time past and we did visit each other a couple of times but soon i find it difficult to keep up with her! why? here is an example! she did not want me to seat on her sofa with my legs crossed! and if i objected then she wanted me to leave her place and the party was over!! or.. she held up her hands to make it easyer for me to take off her clothes but yet she was keep repeating " i don't want sex John" so she left my place angrily when i (tried her shoe) but couple of days later she called me to see if she could come over for a coffee (which we all know what she means by (comming for coffee..don't we?!
i know her for almost 5 years...she is supper clean and have a tidy place.. never saw her with no job.. does not drink or associate with anybody (i never saw her with anybody or any visitor!) and most of all she is not excpting anything at all and if i get her somthing then i have to be (quastioned) "did i ask you to buy me anything?"...
i like her because she has a unic attitued with a tipycal (confident) walking so extrimly determind... but she is nagging all the time to make sure her things or sayings are down according to her satisfactory!! such as..not to call her after 9pm..not to call her every day..all conversations plus the places we intend to visit must be educational..such as (zoo or Musume) if she expects me in her place and i'll be late more than10mins...then the party is over and i better sleep on my sofa!!! but on the other hand a few times not only she did not show up in the lobby of our building to go out to gether but she did not even call to appologize and when i argued about it? then...your guess is as good as mine.
she does asks personal quastions but she shouts none stop if i ask her for example (where does she work?) in total we were not together even for 5 mounths and since i never saw anybody to visit her then we both need each other and that is what she mentions it and i'll be happy to keep stand by her but on the other hand i can not stand her continusly (demanding voice) and she locks herself in her appartement if i shout back at her!
So i find myself in the middel of.. should i treat her the same way that she treats me? or change myself in to one of those men who has no voice to object and no gots to confront?
with all do respect to all polishe men and women i would say if she is not mentaly sick then she is begging to have a man to make her to run behand him like a goat! my quastion from you guys reading this (fact story) is 1) how can i make her to understand that she is not that ( i think that this is what she was) 12 years old stuborn undisiplined momy's girl any more 2) i do know how to make her to behave respectfully but a) what if (she has mental problem) and she gets worse? b) i do not want to be blamed that i (don't respect women) c) is any of you experienced enough who could talk to her and direct her in to a healthy attitued rother than a misearable isolation life? if you are then we should be in touch! thank you

sounds like a controlling person too me
Do what's best for you. I had a friend like her - don't see her anymore, since she was telling me to take my shoes off, blaming me for being late a 2 of minutes, yet needy for any attention. She was not able to connect with people, spent a lot of time alone and when she felt lonely, she would call me. I finally told her that I am not able to continue the friendship and wished her all the best. Now she says hello and always smiles and complements me, but I just go my own way.
Who needs that?

I think you should dump her. You wont get far with control freaks. Your relationship wont last if you are unhappy in any way.

she is more in control of you then you, . its better to run away from this. but if she has a problem, you might need to get her some help. when people feel lonely they tend to control everything. they just need someone to be there for them but they wont show it.

Is this a real relationship?

it sounds as though all you are is friends who see each other. your giving and shes
taking. put a end to it. when she says partys over, say good, cause I am done too
walk out and dont let her have any upper hand. if its only one sided love, you should
move on. I really dont know where your at so its hard to even make suggestions
because it dont sound like she is your lover, Gf or anything, just a friend with fringe
benefits??

thank you Miranda for your reply...since i feel her attitued is to control then wouldn't that be a better idea to let the others to talk to her?.. i think so many people will change when thier are exposed! have funn

hi Duffy and thank you for the respond but since i think that her attitued is mostly based on being in control then would you suggest me to let the others to talk to her? why? because.. for her that she is too sensetive if she find out that out side of her home people know about her (internal life) wouldn't that be a (useful shock)? once againe thanks for your time

hellow Razz... by thanking you for responding to my fact story i'd like to know your idea as well...how would she react when she finds out people in a (wider circle) know about her bad attitued which is not respected by others? don't you think it might give her a posetive signal? and if it doesn't then that means her situation is out of ordinery people's hand to corract..? i personaly feel good if i could do somthing usefull for her.
regards

i agree.

is this even a relationship? i dont think so.

she doesnt want a bar of you and is only interested in maybe relations of a sexual manner.

move on!!!!!

hi patrycia...thanks but what do you think? should i announce to everyone to call and ask her (hey if you are not doing anything ileagal or shamfull then what makes you to worry why some people are intrested to know where you work or what kind of job you do?) well most probebly she is going to call and ask me!! did you tell this people about me? so patrycia? in case if you are intrested to answer then.. what do you think? is such a reaction healthy? or may make her to act worse?...enjoy your eve

find a new woman, shes using you because you are being to nice, now its routine
for her to treat you badly, no one should be treated like they are nothing.

dont even tell her and give satisfaction, just move out, or dont go see her anymore
or call, when she calls you (if she even cares) then tell her your done being treated
bad. If it dont wake her up that shes losing good thing, and treats you even worse
then dont even bother with her at all.

theres plenty of nice women who want nice men. why would anyone be attracted
to someone so mean? Move on find new

hi king...i wouldn't call it a close relationship because she never gave me the chance of it!! but in general i think that she does have a good inside but she is either too sensetive to trust someone and ask.. or she doesn't know how to ask for help!i behaved the way that she wanted me to but soon i lost my control and couldn't stand her loud speaking so i also shout back and then like many times before...this is how she responds when i call...(is this you again? didn't i tell you not to call me any more?) well recently she uses some bad words which i try to respond in a diplomatic way...such as...what did you say the level of your education was? with the help of you guys i am hopping to find the way to make her to act respectfully or i just walk...thanking you king and good night

mate, this really sounds like she doesnt want anything to do with you.

i dont want to be rude, but this sounds like you are harassing her and she doesnt like you. you may have shared a fleeting moment but it is definately over.

i suggest you walk.

She sounds like a good person to me. I would not let this one go~

thank you jeska...i think she must be a fine lady and i want her to be who she is (a strong woman) but not to the point that she pushes too far to overpower me... honstly doesn't seem to be easy at all and also i have no desire to chalenge her in (cat and dog game) but what can i say...i am man who (with out using any lies) likes to chase a woman which she doesn't say yes easy!!! have a good one

valuepulse, to be very honest - you are playing the "victim" role in this story. You are enabling her to abuse you, do you realise that? Some part of you "wants" to be treated badly and that is why you have hooked up with her and CONTINUE to accept her bad treatment.....and not only that, you think you can help her?? This sounds to me like a typical "martyr/saviour" situation - you BOTH play a role to satisfy an unhealthy need inside......the best advice I can give you is to walk away and then WORK on yourself until you understand why you attract such women into your life.....good luck

muzyka, i really dont think they are in a relationship, it looks like they had an affair of sorts and now she wants nothing to do with him.

maybe so, but I think he could learn something from it (whatever it was)....the thing is, it's bound to happen again - there's a very true saying in life "like attracts like" .....don't you agree???

yes and no, sometimes opposites attract.

that is a common thought, but the notion of "opposites" is actually a psychological deception.....it might sound strange, but those opposite traits are actually in the person who finds them attractive, but they are hidden, buried and very often denied....eventually, those same traits become very unappealing because they are denied....this causes a lot of animosity between couples.....ultimately causing a lot of arguments and disharmony....and breakdown of the relationship.........sad, isn't it....but true....

are you a psychologist by any chance? or is it that you have a gift to give people good advices.

yes, you could say I have a bit of specialised knowledge....and thanks for that positive feedback...

p.s but I'm not a psychologist

Hi Muzka...many thanks for your respond and to be honest i would say yes what you said must be thrue and make sence and i will work on it...and... cheers.

you are welcome!!

yes king...but no i wouldn't call it harassing but back home type of high school game...musyka discribed well...jeska is not wrong and in general and up to my knowledge she is a fine and wild woman...a bossy woman who doesn't want to be boss around at all...because of her good sides i am working on her but musykas tip could be very helpfull..meaning no more giving person any more... indirectly iviting her to prove my what she says i am not doing it right... trying to get her to join us on this page and make her to say exactly what she feels..i wrote a few lines sort of take it or leave it...in short if she ask me to leave the door i do it but i get in from the window in order to break her stubornness but not to drive her nuts which she already is...wish me luck