Dating age difference - my 16 yo is dating a 26 yo Polish guy

I live in the US and my 16 year old cousin is dating a 26 year old polish guy. she is very young and naive, and I am worried about the age difference. Is it common for polish men to date/marry much younger women?

Most, if not all men,and not just polish, like younger women, a girl in this instance.
Personally, I don't like it. He's got no business to hang out with a teenager.
10 years age difference is not a big deal, but not in this case. She is just impressed with him because he works (I hope), has money, can take her places etc., but I'll be worried too.

If she also lives in the U.S. and they were to have sexual relations, it could be considered statutory rape, depending on the state. What do her parents have to say about this?

It is in Illinois, and he would most likley be hurt really bad in jail

I would for sure be worried too.


I Agree..
She's only 16. If it were my daughter. Id have a fit.

They aren't having sex, and it seems that he really cares for her. As far as her parents go, my aunt loves him and encourages it, my uncle- not so much. It seems that he wants to marry her. In the Polish/American social circle that he is involved with there seems to be quite a lot of married couples with drastic age differences. If she were21 and he 31 I probably wouldn't be freaking out. But she just turned 16 this summer. WE are not polish, but he is first generation. Is this a cultural thing, or is he a creep?

I imagine the first thing you did when you had sex was tell your folks all about it,

He cares enough about her to wait one or two months more. She'll still be sixteen and it will still be rape [as I understand your law]

I wouldn't be to happy about a relationship like this, but hell, maybe he is just helping her with her homework.

Can it be such a bad thing, if she is in charge of her emotions.

I wouldnt be too worried... I dated a 33 year old man with 16 and kissed with some older ones... its just infatuation... just make sure that you dont push her away from you by trying to tell her that its not good... if you do that in the end if she does have some problems or needs to talk she will not come to you...
Just make sure that she knows you are there for her... and what ever you do DONT COMMENT ON HER RELATIONSHIP =)
Good luck!

Does anybody know if this age difference is a cultural thing? Is this kind of thing acceptable in areas outside of the US?

I live in Poland and most of Polish families would be worried when their 16 year old dauther would date 26 year old man

I live in Canada, and most Canadian families would be worried if their 16 year old daughter were to date a 26 year old man...

the age difference wouldn't be a problem if she was 21 or older. Her parents should worry what she is doing with a guy so much older if she is only 16. When we are teenagers we fall in love for the first time, and we feel a need to do many crazy stuff. But marriage... it is too much...I hope she will not realize too late whats going on.

Yea that's what we thought too...great.

I live in Scotland and in this case, you'd end up on the Jeremey Kyle or Trisha show!

It's generally not acceptable outside of the US, as you have seen, but does happen.

I do remember from school, some couples with a ten year gap. One of them are still together.

Each to their own I guess, cos she'll be 28 now and he 38. I don't know that anyone has a problem with that...?

Would that be the equivalent of the Jerry Springer show?

Basically yes. Although, if you saw the Kyle chap you'd want to suffocate him..

Disgusting.

I wouldn't allow it to happen.

At sixteen ten year age difference is too mutch.....but....
I'ts a difficult situation to be in. If it was to be forbiden they could ruin family life.
If condoned without control of some degree could have drastic consequenses.

I think you have to follow gut instincts, and try not to over react.

That sort of age difference is common in the Latin American countries. I once met a Cuban girl who told me that it was quite normal for a 14-16 year old girl to have a boyfriend in his 20's and 30's.

....and in a lot of Latin American countries girls start having babies as young as 12 or 13. In Nicaragua I met a 36 yr old woman with 18 kids! So it might be normal there, but I wouldnt say its a good thing.

Argh but you said he lied and was actually 37 ;)

Unless she looks older and he didn't know her age at the begining then there's probably something wrong with him.

Over here I wouldn't personally see the problem (here, she would be of age to do as she pleases), but I know others would.

Only if this was true

And he proved his character to be good and honest.

As it is, if it is against the law there for them to have sex at her age I would be slightly more worried and remind him of this fact. A lot. If he is honestly willing to wait for that then he must really care. (And possibly is a saint - it's hard to imagine) Thing is - would they tell you honestly anyway if they had already had sex or not?

Thanks... xD

That is exactly what seems to be happening in the family. The mother is allowing it to happen, she says its under her supervision, and that they are totally chaperoned all the time. The father is totally against it (as many of us are). The don't even go on actual dates, they just hang out at her parents house etc. The whole thing is upsetting!

Then they can't get up to anything they shouldn't - if it stays that way and he is truly willing to wait for her - then it sounds like they genuinely love each other.

i'm confused now...

Holy Cow....

She is 16 that is totally an issue. She is not leagal. I am all for age doesn't matter, but 16 is to young.

o wow just wow... That age difference wouldnt be a problem if the girl wasnt 16!
damn! the guys seems to have a problem? why cant he find himself a woman rather then chassing girls from the school playground.

Haha maybe I don't thin of it as a prob myself as three years ago (when I was 16) I had a huge crush on my teacher, who happened to be 26 and I'd have loved a relationship with him haha.

She is only not legal for having sex though - so if it is supervised as anglo73 says, then it is legal for them to be together...(is that right?)