English to Polish joke email translation help?

(hi, I am trying to write this to a friend of mine. I am a boy, she is a girl, if that will make a difference in the translation. Thanks :) )

Can you get me a visa? ;)
Also, your email is not enough. I want you to tell me what you think about me. What do you think about the way I look? And the way I talk? Do you think I am handsome? Do you like my life plan? Do you want to get married and have children soon? I think I will be a good husband ;)
(This whole email is a joke, I am just kidding! haha. I will write you properly later, when I have time. bye!)

Pretty strange email to send to a friend. Surely you'll already know what they think of you?

There's this guy who likes her, and he writes emails like this all the time. And she thinks he's creepy (obviously). So I'm just trying to imitate him, that's all. (He always writes in polish, so, while I could write this in English, I thought it would be funnier/more true to life if it were in polish, that's all.

how old are you? 15?
why do you think that sending false messages is 'funny' :?

Its called a sense of humour,something a lot of you guys could do with gaining.........

hm... sending 'private' massages to someone (and pretending that this message was send by 3rd person).... hm, i'd rather use a different words to describe it.

Do you know the people involved then? If not,who the hell are you to decide what these kids will find funny?
Bet your the life and soul of the party arnt you......

I have to agree with PJ and Ruba.
Though it is funny. This could seriously backfire on the sender.
Specially if she find the other guy creepy. She may think your turning into the same kinda ass..

please,tell me, would you like be in situation of this guy? or of this girl? especially if they will figure out that its a joke of someone else?

//// edited
its an answer to isthatu2

Ok everyone, I'm sorry. Pretend I never asked. She and I always joke about how strange this guy is. And I haven't seen her for a while because we are on summer break. So I thought it would be funny (obviously she would know I am the sender and that I am kidding)

Anyone, I am sorry if I offended anyone. That was not the intention. (Thank you though, Isthatu2, for understanding that this is just a joke!)

Dear ES, I was just about to post the translation for you, I had it completed and ready, but on second thoughts I decided not to. Partly for reasons that Rumcajs already mentioned.
Another thing was that I didn`t want to participate in a trick played on the Polish guy whom you planned to pretend. He seems a poor chap who has a crush on that girl, it would be too cruel to join in the fun you are both having at his cost. :):):)

Next time don`t say it is a joke, just ask for translation..... :):):)