English girl moving to Poland with my Polish boyfriend for the first time

BackOfTheNet81Threads: 2 Posts: 21 Joined: Jun 1, 09 ♂	Feb 26, 10, 16:51 #31
delphiandomine: BackOfTheNet81: Native speakers can easily command 1zl/min Not outside of Warsaw they can't. I don't know where you are but I'm in Gdańsk and 1zl/min is standard if you're willing to ask for it.

VarsovianThreads: 91 Posts: 568 Joined: Nov 23, 06 ♂	Feb 26, 10, 16:53 #32
Living in Poland isn't a problem. Emigrating on the back of an insecure relationship is. Tell him you're 100% in favour of the idea as long as you have a ring on your finger. I brought my Polish wife to England after we got married - and we weathered every storm thrown at us by my bigoted family and life in a hostile country (i.e. England). Now we live in Poland - and handle worse problems!

Wroclaw BoyThreads: 57 Posts: 5,470 Joined: Jul 3, 09 MEMBER ♂	Feb 26, 10, 16:54 #33
Varsovian: and we weathered every storm thrown at us by my bigoted family and life in a hostile country (i.e. England). Now we live in Poland - and handle worse problems! May i ask how long youve been living in Poland?

pacmanover

Feb 26, 10, 19:23 #34

Have a heart to heart, isnt he happy to have you try ?? sorry but eemmmm!! ???? i lived in poland for six months with my gf and found it to be possibly the happiest time of my life, but i didnt need to work and her family were the most welcoming people i have ever met . plus i had transport, most important in a rural area in any country..a touch of independence. my gf and have now lived in london for five years!!!!!! life is for living.

pacmanover	Feb 26, 10, 19:31 #35
p.s. i would like to be in contact with other couples. polish and english speaking. is there a web address or something. pa pa

♀

Feb 28, 10, 18:41 #36

Varsovian:

Living in Poland isn't a problem. Emigrating on the back of an insecure relationship is. Tell him you're 100% in favour of the idea as long as you have a ring on your finger.

I'm not in an insecure relationship and I don't need to be married to move to a foreign country.

His family want me to move and my family think I would be crazy to not at least try. The way the UK is going, what exactly would I be leaving behind?

BackOfTheNet81:

"This is the shirt what I bought last week."

I hear this all the time where I'm from in the UK! I, however, do not use the phrase!

♀

Feb 28, 10, 19:25 #37

bizzilizzi12:

The way the UK is going, what exactly would I be leaving behind?

That depends on what you have going for you at the moment - would you leave a good job with fantastic career prospects to go to a country which cant offer the same? Poles have more opportunties here than a Brit would have in Poland.

The way UK is going? Dont write it off just yet, its still attractive for a lot of other people and the out-flow is significantly lower than the in-flow.

Write down the pros and cons and make sure that your b/f is going to be supportive if you do make the move.

ZIMMYThreads: 10 Posts: 2,353 Joined: Feb 21, 09 ♂	Feb 28, 10, 19:44 #38
Just don't swim in the Vistula river because the Lech Nesski sea serpent will get you.

♂

Feb 28, 10, 20:32 #39

Harry:

That sounds like my definition of hell.

Mine too.

BackOfTheNet81:

I don't know where you are but I'm in Gdańsk and 1zl/min is standard if you're willing to ask for it.

So am I, and I don't "ask" for it. That's what I charge, and get, although one student insisted on paying 70zl an hour three times a week. I didn't say no. My private students are all referrals and they know my rates before they contact me, but it takes a while to build this sort of thing up.

I love living here. I didn't come for the women or because my money goes farther here. I wanted the experience of living in Poland, and I enjoy every day here. Zycie jest dobre. Life is good.

♂

Feb 28, 10, 20:39 #40

I moved 8 months ago for my girlfriend, and the 1st 5 months were really rought!
I'm compleating my studies, studying polish at Uni and giving some private lesson of french to polish students and life is a little bit better, but still hard!

Try to find something ( language school, english speaking compagnies, or even some studies at Uni) because when you will stay there without doing anything of your day when you BF will be working or studying, and then when you will be running out of money, life will seem really unpleasant there ( from my own experience)

My advice is that you should try it, but don't go without any plan ( studies or work)

♀

Edited by: BevK Feb 28, 10, 20:50 #41

Really does depend where you are going. Best bet is getting a job in the UK where you are willing to relocate but perhaps your boyfriend just doesn't want to be back under the yoke of his family etc.

I loved it here, though I had the homesickness kick in (not helped by having to go back to the UK several times) and immersion into the language isn't that easy. Equally said, some people never learn a word of Polish and they get by (I think that's an insult to your host country regardless of where you go but each to their own).

Before you move anywhere, make sure your relationship is solid. One thing breaking up with someone on home turf, doing so in the back end of nowhere would be far worse than in one of the larger places with expat communities but even that will be unpleasant. On the other hand, get used to resisting pressure from Polish families. Imagine how much WORSE it will be when they are right on your case (or right up your arse and pushing if in a supermarket).

EDIT: sorry the above was a joke. Maybe they haven't GOT a supermarket in a place with 400 people.

beelzebubThreads: - Posts: 515 Joined: Feb 16, 10 ♂	Feb 28, 10, 21:23 #42
A Brit moving to a tiny village in Poland is so clearly a mistake that I would say up front that if you do it you are an idiot. You will hate your life after about 3 days.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 28, 10, 21:26 #43
oh dear...i am a Brit that moved to a small village...been here five years now....!

♂

Feb 28, 10, 23:17 #44

BackOfTheNet81:

BTW, Forfour44, please PLEASE tell me that you don't teach people to say "What is an ok wage." It is my pet hate extraordinaire and I don't know why so many Polish people say it- tell them to use "which" for definitions! PLEASE!

Amen to that. Poles say it because "co" translates roughly to "what". Czy masz wyszytko co potrzebujesz? comes out of their mouths in English as "do you have everything what you need?". It should be "that" or "which", depending on context.

I get this almost every day from my students, even in FCE or CAE classes. I certainly don't expect it from a native speaker and I don't think I'd heard it from one until I read it here. Let's hope that it was just an aberration.

♀

Mar 1, 10, 11:55 #45

scottie1113:

I certainly don't expect it from a native speaker and I don't think I'd heard it from one until I read it here.

Bad education!

If I move it will be to Krakow which I believe is the second largest city in Poland? If it all goes terribly wrong, England is what, two hours away on a plane? Perhaps I'm too positive but I feel like if I don't try this I'll regret it. I'm not completely cutting all ties from the UK. My family is still here and they support me moving.

Surely if I go with a postive attitude, I'm more likely to get on well there?

Think Twice

Mar 1, 10, 13:08 #46

bizzilizzi12:

I'm an English girl currently living in the UK with my Polish boyfriend. His family are pressuring him to go back home and I want to move with him. However, he is convinced that I won't be happy living there.

Has anyone had a similar experience and is Poland really as bad as he is making it out to be?

He probably knows you well enough, not to lie to you. It would be a big cultural shock to you. Although everything appears to be as it is in the west, the bureaucracy and behind the scenes shenanigans will grind you down.
It,s not easy. It,s an uphill ride.

bizzilizzi12:

Surely if I go with a postive attitude, I'm more likely to get on well there?

It,s good to be optimistic, but living day in day out is a different kettle of fish to getting on well.

bizzilizzi12:

if I don't try this I'll regret it.

And if you try it you may also regret it. I think it,s more a case of " if I don,t try it, I won,t know." So by all means, give it a go, but as you said keep your options open and hold on to your return ticket.

♂

Edited by: Varsovian Mar 1, 10, 13:49 #47

Oops - I'm an idiot too. Knew this village thing was a mistake - before you know it you know loads of people and they're saying hello to you in the street.

Mind you, it's not a farming village any more - everyone here built their own house and has decent jobs.

But in my wife's home - farming - village, loads of people say hello and treat me really well.

I suppose it's early days - I've only been here 10 years.

♂

Mar 1, 10, 17:14 #48

Think Twice:

And if you try it you may also regret it. I think it,s more a case of " if I don,t try it, I won,t know." So by all means, give it a go, but as you said keep your options open and hold on to your return ticket.

I concur with this fully. Even if it doesn't go well, at least you had the chance to live in another country, learn a new language, meet new people, etc. It's important to keep your options wide open, though, so that you don't feel trapped, and so that you can leave if things aren't ideal.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Mar 2, 10, 00:35 #49
Go for it...if it does not work out you can go back home again....I have had a tough five years in Poland , but despite this...i am staying , so must be something good about the place , or am i just stubborn....?

ExiledThreads: 5 Posts: 729 Joined: Jan 17, 10 ♂	Mar 2, 10, 11:01 #50
I would move there only if nominated king of the village.

Peter KRK

Mar 2, 10, 15:03 #51

bizzilizzi12

If I move it will be to Krakow

Well, you should try. Krakow is a good choice for English person. There are the places where you can hear mainly English language. People are quite familiar with foreigners. You would have a moderate cultural shock. But it would not be easy. Red carpet, rudeness, lower standards, lower earnings, etc. The first month would be great, the first year - horrible (as I know Poland). Only after this time you would know if your decision was right.
Remember that your man has some doubts. Perhaps he is right. Next problem is that Poles are dependent of their families definitely too much.
OK, enough threats. We are waiting for your impressions here!

♀

Mar 2, 10, 19:43 #52

Do you love him?
Is your relationship stable?
Are you ready for a challenge?

If the answer is yes to all 3 then GO FOR IT!

It's very true.. Poland is not like England... at all. I've been going to Poland my whole life so I knew what to expect when living there but it was still hard, especially at first. What will probably get you the most is the loneliness. Even though I was with my Polish b/f I still felt a bit isolated, and this was Kolobrzeg, a beautiful seaside tourist town. But when I got more confident with the language and made a few friends, life got a bit easier.
If you are going soon it will be a good time because it will be summer in a few months. Polish summers are generally long and hot so I hope it's a good one for you!
And start PRACTISING YOUR POLISH NOW! Knowing the language makes life so much better, and will certainly impress his family and friends.
We're back in the UK now and I'm doing a degree in English and hope to be a teacher. In a couple years we plan to go back again permanently.
I've been to Krakow... it's beautiful and you will proabably find people there who speak English! It's a tourist city and alot of English go there for weekend breaks and stag do's, things like that. Perhaps you could find a place in the tourist industry??
Good luck! Some days you will be confused, some days you will be pissed off and some days you might think you're going crazy!! Some days you will just want baked beans on toast, or a good roast or a nice fried breakfast, or to walk into a spozywczy or chemist and not have to ask for what you want from behind the counter!! Aagh! :)
But if you like a challenge and keep an open mind i'm sure that most days you will love it!
:D Have fun!!

♂

Edited by: Moderator Mar 2, 10, 22:10 #53

krazy krawiec:

Polish summers are generally long and hot

Not very long, really, and certainly not hot, although my British friends complain that it is. But I'm from California where 30-40C is common in summer. 30 is great for me while 40 just gets a little warm.

I've been living in Gdansk for 2 1/2 years and I love it here. Poland is VERY different than the US or the UK in so many ways, but if you take the "it is what it is" approach, learn some Polish, and make Polish friends, it's a great place to be.

eurobusiness

Apr 8, 10, 05:00 #54

The woman are ****** self serving know-it-all's and the men are drinkers....it is interesting and exciting at first but the novelty goes away real quick. I have lived in many Eastern Euro countries for business and Poland is not the best by far. I agree there is a sence of an overall downtrotten vibe. Stay in the UK and convince your boyfriend he is better off there too. If I had to guess he already know this.

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