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'Tez mi sie sniles..' - Help me translate my polish bf's email

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posts: 55

tonicwater	Dec 6, 11, 08:21 #31
yes he does - i guess i'm just a paranoid freak, but i also guess chatting here about it has eased things. I'm just gonna leave it alone. Sorry to the people I infuriated here in the thread because i snooped.

♂

Dec 6, 11, 08:59 #32

tonicwater:

yes he does - i guess i'm just a paranoid freak, but i also guess chatting here about it has eased things. I'm just gonna leave it alone. Sorry to the people I infuriated here in the thread because i snooped

You have nothing to be sorry for.

I liken it to those who declare a hatred for Police. If you live within the law you have no reason to fear or hate the Police.

Those that have something to hide are the ones who scream the loudest about privacy. I don't buy into the "we are on a moral crusade to protect everyones right to privacy."......What a load of old Tosh!!!

The minute you open a browser you leave a footprint. There is no such thing as privacy in this day and age.

People bang on about privacy and yet these days there are billions of Zombie's all signed up to Facebook showcasing their lives for all and sundry and unwittingly having every detail they post used for foul means or fair.

I will never use my facebook account. I registered to ensure my name didn't get hijacked and that is it. No pictures, nothing. I do the same for all the major social networking tools. MySpace, LinkedIn etc.

You press the like button on facebook......you are submitting your data for use and abuse and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

Tonic/Jane.....

I lived with my wifes insecurities for many years. She got hurt pretty bad in her first relationship. It took me a long time to make her realise I was a good egg and that I wasn't about to play football with her heart. I completely understand where you are right now.

If you don't speak with him, explain your fears and give him the opportunity to allay your fears then he is fighting your demons without the ammunition to help you defeat them.

Hope to see you back in a couple of weeks/months to let us know how things went.

Good Luck.

♂

Edited by: Steveramsfan Dec 6, 11, 08:59 #33

tonicwater

You didn't infuriate me at all :)
I was speaking from experience, its better to be open.

Its not healthy for yourself to be paranoid or insecure. Confront the problem and you know the answer, no need to stress then :)

I hope everything works out for you the way you want :)

EdWilczynski:

I will never use my facebook account.

I agree but I use facebook to keep in touch with family and friends only, I live in Germany. I put nothing important onto facebook.

carrie655

Dec 6, 11, 09:08 #34

might be time to have a general chat about where the relationship is going and offer to help him find a new job if the current one does not last.
I think it's fair to have an idea of where you stand in his life, also you could drop the odd hint that you are uncomfortable with him keeping contact with this ex!
No need to let him know about the email or feel guilty as most people have done this ocassionally, it's when it becomes a habit that you need to look at why you're doing it. When it's a habit it is invasion of privacy and needs to be delt with.

mafketisThreads: 17 Posts: 1,880 Joined: Mar 31, 08 ♂	Dec 6, 11, 10:18 #35
carrie655: might be time to have a general chat about where the relationship is going Oh yeah. Guys just _love_ talking about "where the relationship is going"...

carrie655

Dec 6, 11, 12:40 #36

mafketis:

Oh yeah. Guys just _love_ talking about "where the relationship is going".

It's just a general term which gives an idea of what people are going to be doing in the future 'girl speak'
I don't think any one actually sits down and starts a conversation with ' where is our relationship going'
more like 'do you have any particular plans if this job is temporary?' the lady has a right to know because
she's spending time and emotion on the guy!!!! Use your imagination.

TeffleThreads: 28 Posts: 2,105 Joined: Aug 26, 10 ♂	Dec 6, 11, 12:45 #37
EdWilczynski: If you live within the law you have no reason to fear or hate the Police. I think this is a naive view. Although I do agree with your general point re privacy/facebook etc.

tonicwater

Dec 7, 11, 02:09 #38

From your guys help this is what I gather:

ja staram sie nie wspominac nic bo rani mnie to wciaz bardzo mocno. (she hurt him)

zycia sobie nie ukladam bo nie ma tu poczucia stabilizacji. wszysko jest tymczasowe. (he is talking about his career stability and living in a new city)

z jane latwiej jest nie myslec o samotnosci, bo nie ma na nia miejsca. tak to wyglada. (this part is about me - what is he saying exactly I am still unsure? is it bad to
say your with someone to not think of loneliness in polish? does it sound like he is with me just to avoid being lonely? why does he say "tak to wyglada")

♂

Edited by: Meathead Dec 7, 11, 05:06 #39

mafketis:

Oh yeah. Guys just _love_ talking about "where the relationship is going"...

Exactly, this is what I was trying to say. In a so called "heart to heart" he's just going to say what he thinks she wants to hear.

tonicwater:

You're obsessing. Let go.

tonicwater	Dec 7, 11, 08:03 #40
yes he will say what i want to hear of course, i'm not stupid. I'm not obsessing, i just want to know if what he tells me is different to what he tells his gf about me. Anyone can say to someone they care for them and then tell there friends/ex its just so keep them from being lonely for the time being.

♂

Edited by: mafketis Dec 7, 11, 08:50 #41

tonicwater:

I'm not obsessing

"z jane latwiej jest nie myslec o samotnosci, bo nie ma na nia miejsca. tak to wyglada"
=
With J it's easier to not think of loneliness because there's no room for it* tak to wyglada**

*this is the literal translation - in English you would probably say 'there's no time'

**this is kind of ambiguous, the expression suggests some level of resignation though whether it's about you or unsteady employment situation or something else is hard to say.
it could also be kind of confrontation to the ex - "I didn't say what you wanted, but tough" without more context it's hard to say

There, that should give your head hamster plenty of exercise.

carrie655

Dec 7, 11, 12:21 #42

tonicwater:

tonicwater

Obviously you are still worried. I didn't phrase my post too well.
What I meant was have a talk about his general plans for the future,
work, here or Poland, what sort of job does he want etc.....
has he sorted out his legal affairs in Poland ( you can then mention that
you find it strange he is still in contact with the ex, explain that it is not usual here
and admit to some discomfort about the contact between them).
You can probably get an overall picture as to whether it's worth continuing the relationship, without him being put
into a position of having to say what you may want to hear.
It doesn't need to be some big emotional heart to heart.
The man may also be more down to earth than you give him credit for, some people are honest and don't just say what the other person wants to hear.
If you continue this relationship, learn Polish, it does save a lot of worry and misunderstanding.
Hope it all works out for you both

♂

Dec 7, 11, 12:46 #43

It's quite obvious what he means by transitory, fstop. Many Poles are in that position. The grass suddenly becomes greener on the other side and they romanticise the very place they had gladly left. I'm pretty sure that Jane here is nothing but a pillar upon which to give him a sense of self worth. If my wife told me that I was nothing more than a stopgap measure to combat loneliness then I'd soon be single.

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Dec 7, 11, 14:01 #44
Seanus: If my wife told me that I was nothing more than a stopgap measure to combat loneliness then I'd soon be single. he didn't tell his gf that. It's interesting that most here seem to be on the guys side. Literal translation does not cover it, but we seem to know where the guy is at.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Dec 7, 11, 14:12 #45
It's not about sides here. It's about likelihood/probability IMHO. The same old story. He went across in search of money and a better life but found that he missed things from back home. Łukasz Łukasz, report back to the Borg ;)

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Dec 7, 11, 15:26 #46
There is another side. Many leave home, and after a period of re-adjustment, make new lives somewhere else.

carrie655	Dec 7, 11, 16:49 #47
f stop: Many leave home, and after a period of re-adjustment, make new lives somewhere else. Exactly

MagdalenaThreads: 5 Posts: 1,389 Joined: Aug 15, 07 ♀	Dec 9, 11, 11:03 #48
Seanus: He went across in search of money and a better life but found that he missed things from back home Where does he say that?

JonnyMThreads: 16 Posts: 4,487 Joined: Mar 9, 11 ♂	Dec 9, 11, 12:55 #49
Magdalena: Where does he say that? Between the lines.

MagdalenaThreads: 5 Posts: 1,389 Joined: Aug 15, 07 ♀	Dec 9, 11, 13:21 #50
JonnyM: Between the lines. I would never dare read so much into someone else's words... Unless I knew that person really, really well.

JonnyMThreads: 16 Posts: 4,487 Joined: Mar 9, 11 ♂	Dec 9, 11, 13:23 #51
Sometimes you just know. 80% of communication is non-verbal.

MagdalenaThreads: 5 Posts: 1,389 Joined: Aug 15, 07 ♀	Dec 9, 11, 13:41 #52
JonnyM: 80% of communication is non-verbal. Yeah - when you can actually SEE the person. Not when you read a couple sentences taken more or less out of context.

♀

Dec 9, 11, 15:55 #53

ex gf
Tez mi sie sniles w dobrym kontekscie. Mam nadzieje ze glownie to bedziemy pamietac.
Tak ogolnie to wszystko dobrze u ciebie pomijajac ciezar sytuacji w jakies sie znalezlismy. Ukladasz sobie zycie? Latwiej jest jak jane jest z toba?
Przykro mi ze nie bedziesz na swieta w domu, mam nadzieje ze mimo wszystko dobrze je spedzisz.

I dreamed of you too in a good context. I hope this is the main thing we both will remember. In general everything's fine with you, apart from the load of the situation we ended up in. Are you living your life ok? Is it easier when there's Jane with you?
I'm sad you aint gonna be home for christams, I hope that besides of anything you will spend it well.

my bf:
ja staram sie nie wspominac nic bo rani mnie to wciaz bardzo mocno. zycia sobie nie ukladam bo nie ma tu poczucia stabilizacji. wszysko jest tymczasowe. z jane latwiej jest nie myslec o samotnosci, bo nie ma na nia miejsca. tak to wyglada.

I'm trying not to remind myself anything because it still hurts me a lot. I am not arrangeing my life because there's no sense of stability in here. Everything's temporary. It's easier not to think about loneliness with Jane, cause theres no place for it. That's just the way it is.

There you go.

MEMBER ♂

Dec 9, 11, 16:55 #54

tonicwater:

Thanks for your compassion. I dont know what seanus is being an anus. Yeah sure i have been cheated on many times. And yes, i want to know if my time invested into the relationship is false? cause sounds like maybe im being used to get over his ex. Fair enough - we all need rebound relationships. And if thats the case then I's rather know, have peace of mind and move on. We have only been together 4 months. I never talk to my ex but he still does.

I just want to know so I can just know and move on if i'm just here to fix loneliness.

Obviously you are the one with the low cranial capacity, shown by your lack of consideration for the other person’s feelings, so let me be brief.

Why won't you just ask him?

You should trust him until you have much more compelling evidence he is cheating. If you can’t trust him, just split and be on your way.
Posting someone’s private correspondence without them knowing about it, in public, is appalling. He may come across this forum one day and read it. If that had happened to me, you'd dump your as$ in a heartbeat.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Dec 9, 11, 19:39 #55
Thanks, Havok. That's what I wanted to say! :) A truly despicable thing to do!

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