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FRIENDS INTO LOVERS


posts: 18
 
ancilla [Guest]
  Nov 11, 07, 04:57  #1

Anyone else been really good friends with someone of the opposite sex and have it turn into something more?

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Mufasa
Edited by: Mufasa  Nov 11, 07, 05:06  #2

Niestety, my one friendship that I had high hopes for turned to failure. When I got the real thing though, it was Love at (almost) First Sight. (want to draw a heart).

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Wroclaw
  Nov 11, 07, 05:12  #3

Quoting: ancilla
Anyone else been really good friends with someone of the opposite sex and have it turn into something more?


I've found that the longer you are friends, the less likely there will be a full relationship.

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Mufasa
  Nov 11, 07, 05:14  #4

Quoting: Wroclaw
I've found that the longer you are friends, the less likely there will be a full relationship.


Bingo. I wish someone had said that to me when I needed to hear it!

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starchild
  Nov 11, 07, 06:43  #5

Once... when I was 17 my close friend became more and we were together 12 years.

It does happen, but I can't say how often:-)

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marek s
  Nov 11, 07, 09:28  #6

Quoting: Wroclaw

I've found that the longer you are friends, the less likely there will be a full relationship.



agreed

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beckski
  Nov 11, 07, 11:21  #7

Quoting: ancilla
Anyone else been really good friends with someone of the opposite sex and have it turn into something more?


I once had a close male friend steal a kiss from me. I was totally shocked when he did it.
Although he's very attractive, I didn't kiss him back. I didn't want to ruin our close friendship. Aftering the kissing episode, I felt a little uncomfortable when I'd see him. However, I'm not going to let a dumb thing like a kiss get in the way of our friendship.

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marek s
  Nov 11, 07, 14:36  #8

Quoting: beckski
I once had a close male friend steal a kiss from me. I was totally shocked when he did it.
Although he's very attractive, I didn't kiss him back. I didn't want to ruin our close friendship. Aftering the kissing episode, I felt a little uncomfortable when I'd see him. However, I'm not going to let a dumb thing like a kiss get in the way of our friendship.



the friendship is no more??

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Jambo
  Nov 11, 07, 14:57  #9

It happens all the time friends turn into lovers. I think it is because you get to know the person and realise there is something special. The problem is if only if only one of the friends feels this. That gets uncomfortable. I also agree the longer you are friends the less likely it is to happen.

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beckski
  Nov 11, 07, 21:08  #10

Quoting: marek s
the friendship is no more??


We're still friends. I was just a little uncomfortable seeing him, after he had kissed me unexpectedly like that. I'm over the incident now. If he ever tries to kiss me again he's going to get punched! Just kidding, I'm not a violent person at all.

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Lucynda
  Nov 11, 07, 22:39  #11

Nah. There's either chemistry or not.

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tomcooper
  Nov 12, 07, 05:28  #12

Quoting: Wroclaw
I've found that the longer you are friends, the less likely there will be a full relationship.

Very true!

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krysia
  Nov 12, 07, 06:57  #13

You have to be friends first in order to have a good realtionship, but you have to tell one another what you are looking for in this friendship and future. Is it just to be friends or do you want to spend your life together forever.
Sometimes you are friends for a while and at one point you fall in love and then decide you want to be together forever. It varies from situation and people.

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Kronx1970
  Nov 12, 07, 09:46  #14

Most times the 'friends into lovers' thing happened for me was when I was friends with a woman who was in a relationship at the time and at some point down the road that relationship ended.

I can't think of anytime it went from friends to lovers while being both single the entire duration. Like Lucynda said, there has to be some chemistry, and that's usually obvious right off the bat.

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volley [Guest]
  Nov 12, 07, 10:56  #15

friend to lovers... no idea?

but what do you think about this...

a guy I was sporting with started mailing me at the end of the saison... we mailed like for two months or so,
(I knew him, but we never said more than a few words, so I wouldn't realy call him a friend...)
finally we went out for a drink, I kind of postponed it because I didn't realy see anything in him, wasn't realy attracted immediatly either...

the evening was spent quite pleasantly, but I "fmy first feeling" stayed, he could become a friend (but he obviously wants more!)...

He mailed me the next day telling how much he enjoyed the evening with me...

but I said that friend is all it can be (for now)

That kind of disapointed him (ofcourse) so he stopped all communication...

So i feel kind of bad as well, thinking that I should give him another chance or so... so after I mailed him....now he might come to a party I'm organising with some friends...

and now I'm really not sure if this was a good idea...

Can your first impression be 'not too good' and change afterwards?
Maybe I guess the posts above are right, once I decided to be just friend, it will be difficult to become more...? or not??

all experiences stories welcome....

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AvJoeUK [Guest]
  Nov 12, 07, 11:19  #16

I have, but then she said she loved me and I didnt really love her sooo...not so great friends now :)

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Jambo
  Nov 12, 07, 11:22  #17

You clearly dont fancy him so what is the point in inviting him? If you do invite him he will be encouraged. So if you do want to encourage him into thinking you might want more than friendship invite him. If not don't invite him

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Rakky
  Nov 12, 07, 12:01  #18

Quoting: Kronx1970
happened for me was when I was friends with a woman who was in a relationship at the time and at some point down the road that relationship ended.

Same here. When I first met her, she'd only recently gotten married and I'd recently left my first wife. Her marriage was doomed from the start, but that's another story. Anyway, we started hanging out a bit and enjoyed some common hobbies together. For me, it was strictly "hands off," because she was married - perhaps that was why it was so much easier to become friends with this woman who I was definitely attracted to. But her marriage continued to deteriorate, and she developed strong feelings for me. When she told me about her "problem," I still tried to hold back due to her situation. It wasn't until she'd left the guy that I felt free to pursue her romantically, which was well received. We're celebrating 24 years together tomorrow.
Regarding the idea that
Quoting: Lucynda
There's either chemistry or not.
, it's a biological fact of life. Your whole body is constantly seeking out suitable partners and sending out signals to potential suitors as well. There is a lot to be said about instant attraction, just in terms of biology. There's no reason why the chemistry and the friendship can't mutually coexist, though, and, for some of us, that wonderful combination leads to a long and lasting passion that just gets better with each passing year.
Quoting: krysia
You have to be friends first in order to have a good realtionship
- I could not agree more with this statement.

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