friends needed for an English woman in Milanowek Poland

Are there any Poles who would help an English woman stuck in Milanowek in Poland. A friend of mine needs all the friends she can get and any suggestions welcomed. She has been beaten up by her husband and stopped from seeing her two children. How can she be helped by friends living in England? Please respond with any ideas.

Thanks

Kathryn

im sure there are people here who can help - provide as many details as possible and suggestions will be made

So can't she cantact Police ?

sorry but you'd have to expand on the topic. Do you have a friend stranded in Poland, having been assualted by a Polish or english husband. Sorry not quite sure, what your (good) intentions are? There are private companies which deal with reclaiming children, thats if the police can't help.

I live nearby.

The police were called and it has been through the legal system.. She has been awarded custody but her husband will not let her near the two children. How can she get round this? Every effort to see them is foiled by the husband and his mother.

Kathryn

Call the police again??

are the children British or Polish subjects? Contact the embassy for help.

one would have thought that if she was awarded custody then the legal system would be acting in her favour... can she not take the obvious steps to move this forward...?

Trying to be helpful here but I honestly don't know how we can be of any help in a case like this. I believe people are not entirely unreasonable and the best thing would be for the husband and wife to talk. Even if they end up separating they will hurt the children more if they do not part as friends. Presumably the husband thinks she wants to take the children away that's why he is preventing her access. I think they should talk - without the presence of the kids or mother in law.

In reply to Giles I have never heard of companies reclaiming children but maybe she would be interested. She is a British citizen and her husband is Polish. She does not speak very good Polish and has not been well served by the legal system as the latest deadlock is because of a local dispute concerning which court should hear her ongoing case.

Does anyone think it would be a good idea to write in Polish to a local newspaper to try and shame the husband into granting access?

Kathryn

The embassy has been contacted on several occasions and will only reply that they are "aware of the case" and will not discuss it with outsiders. The children have dual nationality and local MPs here are involved but I get the impression that there is very little anyone can do to influence local affairs in tiny towns in Poland. That is why local publicity might help as people over there know that people in England care

Kathryn

hire a translator
no, writing to a newspaper is no-goer, they don't get involved in domestic disputes

ONCE AGAIN THINK WHAT"S BEST FOR THE CHILDREN

kathryn

if she has been awarded custody why doesnt she have the kids... ?

Trying to shame the husband in the paper is not a good idea since he is Polish and she is not.

I have a question: why is the husband preventing access to the children?

The husband is a bully and a drunkard. There is no chance of "talking" or being reasonable as his mother has already written the most dreadful letter to the local health service accusing the mother of being a bad mother. It has gone way beyond talking as the poor woman has been beated and abused for years. Still I will continue to think of a way to help as I think of the old saying:

They came for the blacks and I said nothing
They came for the Jews and I said nothing
They came for the Chrsitians and I said nothing so when they came for me there was no one left to speak up for me

She needs to have a good local lawyer who speaks English. Sounds like the first job is to press the courts into deciding which court has jurisdiction over the case. If she has a lawyer who is being ineffectual she needs to change and quickly.

Thanks for all your suggestions and comments. If you think of anything else - please post it.

Kathryn

The ionly way forward I can see is to hire an English speaking lawyer or/and a translator.

However, if custody as already been awarded to her I cannot see why the local authorities will not give her the children.

I also think there are 2 sides to every story and if she has indeed been beaten & mistreated for years then she should have grabbed the kids and came home on the first plane back.

This is a matter for a lawyer.

Use force?

I meant came back home after the first beating.

well... one would have thought...



hmmm... does raise some questions...



well... thats one way of playing it...



and thats another...

depends on lots of things that we dont seem to be being told...

Absolutley right. These cases are always complex and painful. Remote help won't work. She needs a good lawyer who can navigate through the legal quagmire quickly and effectively.

or somebody to go in and take the kids... depends on circumsances and the route she wants to take...

kathryn. e-mail me if your friend is interested. be aware these things are not always cheap, and the means to the end can be quite traumatic, especially for the kids.

I am genuinely touched by all the replies to this problem - the fact that you have cared anough to make the suggestions will I am sure mean something will happen. For those who are decent people and cannot understand the concept of a woman staying with a man who beats her - do you know the statistics? ON AVERAGE a woman will seek help after she has been beaten 32 times. This seems unimaginable to me as I am very happily married but some people use physical strength to undermine and control others. They are inadequate bullies who want to dominate others. Whenever children are involved people will always think long and hard before acting and these things tend to build up over the years until breaking point is reached and it is the point of no return. It is also difficult to find somewhere to go if you are a foreigner in someone's country with no money and not having a good grasp of the language.

Basically your suggestions seem to come out in favour of a good bilingual lawyer who will get things moving properly. If there is enough money I am sure this is the route she will follow. Thanks again and I will keep you posted about the outcome.

Kathryn

Kathryn

Obviously the good thing is that she has the custody, the bad thing is that she lives in the country where the legal system is not efficient (yet). Things are changing and I wish you good luck and prepare yourself for a challange.

Kathryn, if a woman is beaten think what that does to the children, and who is to say the children are safe. regardless of what the stats say, staying with a man who beats you ESPECIALLY if you have children is cowardly. Your friend is British, I am sure you would have lent her the money to travel back to the UK, so I am not buying that excuse. Sorry.

(People aren't too good at following the details of this story, are they?)

UK TV (Channel 4) showed an horrific programme on domestic violence last night. People don't want to get involved for very good reasons, but it is a major problem in Britain and doubtless in Poland too.
Now that would be something for the Kaczynskis to get their little teeth stuck into.