Need Advice On Polish-English language barrier (my Polish boyfriend and his family)

catsoldierThreads: 90 Posts: 697 Joined: Sep 27, 09 ♂	Jul 3, 11, 20:14 #31
I was thinking about this, are they all afraid of speaking English because of being laughed at etc.? Both him and his family? Being laughed at by each other and others? Being laughed at is hard to take.

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Jul 6, 11, 10:20 #32

an alternative idea is to try and find a 'neutral' language (russian might be good) and go along with the parents to lessons in that ... most likely they will give up quickly (especially if it's a hard language for them) but it will help them realise how tough it is for you and that may probably help you to learn, as a minimum it will give you some grounds to communicate in and a shared experience.

I have a friend married to a Pole who speaks only a little Polish, her in-laws speak Polish, but she also has polish family who she lived with for a bit, she can communicate really well with them just through experience, and through both they and she really being driven to communicate. So I guess if you can find situations where your bf's mum or dad need to find a way to communicate with you, you can start to form some kind of way of communication. Finding some kind of activity you can do one-on-one with them is probably the key, e.g. helping with cooking (sorry for the stereotype but this is Poland). How far you can go depends on how keen they are to help you and probably you'll need to explain that to your boyfriend to get him to get them on side.

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Edited by: Jimmu Nov 13, 11, 19:36 #33

Why do I keep seeing things like this on PF? I get the impression that at least half of the more prominent posters are professional or semi-professional language teachers. And yet the "get your gf/bf/in-laws to teach you Polish" comments go unchallenged! I am an educated, well read and fluent native speaker of English, but I suffer no illusions that I would be a good English teacher. Teaching requires skills, knowledge, and education that I and most bf/gf/in-laws do not have. I can, and have served as a tutor or maybe sparring partner for people learning English as a second language. I can answer some specific questions and help people get comfortable with speaking English but I would hate to be a student with me as the teacher!
When somebody asks "How do I learn to speak Polish?" the answers should be either "Find a good teacher." or "Learn the way Poles do. Trial and error and endless repetition." keeping in mind that being older it may take you 3 or 4 times as long as the 5 years or so it takes them to achieve basic competence.
Quoting myself:"Teaching requires skills, knowledge, and education.." and I forgot the most important thing. PATIENCE!

PushbikeThreads: 3 Posts: 65 Joined: Feb 15, 12 ♂	Feb 15, 12, 18:11 #34
Just keep having lessons.

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Mar 2, 12, 13:33 #35

Merged: Anyone willing to help me??

Hey everyone!! I am a Romanian girl with a Polish boyfriend and I am very eager to learn some Polish!
I know some simple words (alot of insults!) :P But I really would like to get to a better speaking level.
As great as my boyfriend is, he is not so keen on really teaching me much, He has not as much patience as I would like!
I'm a slow learner but when I do learn, I dont forget in a hurry.
So is anybody keen on helping me pick up some tips??
Maybe via Facebook or Msn???

croggersThreads: 8 Posts: 91 Joined: Nov 24, 11 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 14:58 #36
first lesson, never say thank you (dzieki) to a waitress whilst handing her money to pay the bill!, she'll think that you are giving her all the change as a tip.

MinaDThreads: 1 Posts: 28 Joined: Apr 24, 11 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 15:31 #37
Really??? My boyfriend says he never heard this before? That sounds unusual!

phtoaThreads: 10 Posts: 131 Joined: Jan 11, 12 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 15:34 #38
MinaD: Really??? My boyfriend says he never heard this before? That sounds unusual! No, this is actually very common. Especially in Poland B

gumishuThreads: 17 Posts: 3,943 Joined: Apr 6, 09 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 15:51 #39
phtoa: MinaD: Really??? My boyfriend says he never heard this before? That sounds unusual! No, this is actually very common. Especially in Poland B this is just simply short for 'Dziękuję. Reszty nie trzeba' - normally specific tone of voice and some kind of gesture would be used

teflcatThreads: 6 Posts: 1,071 Joined: May 29, 11 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 15:58 #40
phtoa: No, this is actually very common. Especially in Poland B Never heard of it, and I live in what you call Poland B.

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Mar 2, 12, 15:59 #41

MinaD:

Really??? My boyfriend says he never heard this before? That sounds unusual!

Customs change quickly, so the following explanation might be a bit outdated:

Poles are polite in the department of giving tips or buying somebody a drink or a meal. They will rarely say "I'd like to buy you a lunch", but rather "I'd like to invite you for a lunch". The invitee knows that s/he will get a free lunch, but the ugly word of "money" or "buying" is never mentioned. However the expression "Would you like to go with me for a lunch" implies that the cost of lunch will be either shared or the matter will be decided later.
Similarly, "Here is your tip, darling" would be considered impolite, degrading. After all, by definition, all Polish waitresses are little princesses. Instead the "Thank you" phrase is used.

polishmamaThreads: 5 Posts: 300 Joined: Dec 2, 10 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 16:06 #42
croggers: first lesson, never say thank you (dzieki) to a waitress whilst handing her money to pay the bill!, she'll think that you are giving her all the change as a tip. It's true.

teflcatThreads: 6 Posts: 1,071 Joined: May 29, 11 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 16:08 #43
polishmama: It's true. Based on your extensive experience of restaurants in Poland?

JonnyMThreads: 16 Posts: 4,487 Joined: Mar 9, 11 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 16:12 #44
teflcat: Never heard of it, and I live in what you call Poland B. It's unusual nowadays but can still occasionally happen. If you actually are giving all the change as a tip it would be clear though from the tone of voice and hand gesture. Some tourist trap restaurants in Warsaw used to be notorious for this.

polishmamaThreads: 5 Posts: 300 Joined: Dec 2, 10 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 16:13 #45
teflcat: Based on your extensive experience of restaurants in Poland? Actually yes. Are you assuming I never eat at Polish restaurants or that I am never in Poland? And yes, there is a tone and gesture involved.

phtoaThreads: 10 Posts: 131 Joined: Jan 11, 12 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 16:20 #46
teflcat: Never heard of it, and I live in what you call Poland Maybe they just see me as a stupid tourist with money

teflcatThreads: 6 Posts: 1,071 Joined: May 29, 11 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 16:23 #47
polishmama: Are you assuming I never eat at Polish restaurants or that I am never in Poland? I've been here in Poland for over eleven years, and lost count of the number of restaurant meals I've had in year one. This has never happened to me. I thought you'd made a trip or two as a tourist.

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Mar 2, 12, 16:39 #48

teflcat, my trips used to be one to two months long (until my husband started showing his true colors) and never at tourist traps. The vast majority of my family still lives in Poland and I am going to be moving back in a bit myself.

No, it doesn't happen as often as it did before but it still happens. But I always give a nod and smile and, yes, there is a hand gesture I use with that. It's right palm up, hand the $, and then wave hand palm up from me toward the person a bit. That's what I do anyway and what my family ever does.

But without the gestures et all, there is no assumption as much anymore. Unless, you might be in a tourist trap and have a foreign accent and do these motions without realizing it. I went once with an American friend to a tourist-ey restaurant in Warsaw and she was surprised that they didn't bring back the change until I explained to her and she didn't realize she had done any of that. I do agree, it seems pretty rude to outright say "Keep the change" or something equivalent to someone. Just my opinion and experiences.

kingdom26Threads: - Posts: 16 Joined: Nov 23, 10 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 16:49 #49
am sure this can help you since you know some english best of luck

MinaDThreads: 1 Posts: 28 Joined: Apr 24, 11 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 21:04 #50
Anything else, apart from giving waitresses tips?? :P

gumishuThreads: 17 Posts: 3,943 Joined: Apr 6, 09 ♂	Edited by: gumishu Mar 2, 12, 21:07 #51
MinaD: Anything else, apart from giving waitresses tips?? :P you need to have some teacher on skype (though face to face learning is better) but you can learn a lot from the internet - like Polish alphabet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s-vMd_pBks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euM9l0wUnAU&feature=endscreen&NR=1

catsoldierThreads: 90 Posts: 697 Joined: Sep 27, 09 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 21:33 #52
MinaD: Anything else, apart from giving waitresses tips?? :P Buy Hurra Po Polsku 1 and use it with your teacher if possible as it is written in Polish. http://www.prologpublishing.com/ I have no other advice really as I am still learning how to learn a language, being bone lazy doesn't help :-) . I am bone lazy, not you!

MinaDThreads: 1 Posts: 28 Joined: Apr 24, 11 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 21:36 #53
Its my damn lazy boyfriend who refuses to help most times :/ I learn more from his 11 year old sister than from him :/

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Mar 2, 12, 21:42 #54

polishmama:

croggers:
first lesson, never say thank you (dzieki) to a waitress whilst handing her money to pay the bill!, she'll think that you are giving her all the change as a tip.

It's true.

It happened to me my first year here even though I had heard about the practice. I automatically said thank you when I got my bill and didn't receive any change. It wasn't a big deal and I haven't made that mistake again.

I agree with using hurra po polsku 1.

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Mar 2, 12, 21:50 #55

MinaD

It would seem they dont really care that you dont speak Polish if you're not living in Poland, Im working with a Chinese girl who is married to a Polish guy (3 years married 4 years together in total) and she speaks less Polish than me!

She said when he gets mad he shouts in Polish, so I tought her a phase :)

Przepraszam, nie mowie po polsku. - and told her to smile afterwards, maybe he'll teach her a little bit more in future ;0)

Good luck, its bloody difficult to learn!

beckskiThreads: 19 Posts: 2,148 Joined: May 15, 07 MEMBER ♀	Mar 2, 12, 22:01 #56
Contact PF member Waldy. He's created a thread in reference to your Polish language needs. A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!

teflcatThreads: 6 Posts: 1,071 Joined: May 29, 11 ♂	Mar 2, 12, 22:10 #57
catsoldier: Buy Hurra Po Polsku 1 and use it with your teacher if possible as it is written in Polish +1 A good book, but you need a Polish teacher. MinaD: I learn more from his 11 year old sister than from him I've learned more from my (not-too-educated) in-laws than from my highly-educated wife. Listen, listen, listen. You'll learn more in the street or the family than in the classroom.

MinaDThreads: 1 Posts: 28 Joined: Apr 24, 11 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 22:40 #58
Hmm I will try :) I am hoping some day to visit Poland with my Polski boy so it would be great to learn some thing more than basics :)

polishmamaThreads: 5 Posts: 300 Joined: Dec 2, 10 ♀	Mar 2, 12, 23:05 #59
Put on Polish tv (on internet, if need be), play Polish music (try memorizing a song in Polish and learning what it means), play polish language cd in car, immerse yourself basically.

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