having an affair with a Polish man (but he has a wife and a child)

Do you know his wife? Nobody can be sure of what motivates a person to do such things. You may be very similar to his wife and that's why he chose you. Not to be the moral police, but I have come to find out in my years on this earth, what goes around comes around. Have you ever heard the term, once a cheater, always a cheater? Sounds to me like it's just good sex and if you are both fine with that, than more power to ya. As for his being in an unhappy relationship, how do you know that for sure. My guess is he's probably in UK to make money to support his family. I will give him the fact that at least he told you he was married. Some don't even do that. At least you had an option of deciding whether you would fall for a married man or not.

You post a message to us, in order to tell us that you're having an affair.
When you do it, you tell us you 'hate to admit it.'
That implies that there is something about the situation that you do not like, despite your protestations later on that, you're not hurting anybody, you're having fun and he's a 4 star.

Taking you at face value, all is well with your world. If so, then why are the wife and child a problem, as you suggested?
Those people, who i'm sure are lovely and lots of fun, are hundreds of miles away in Poland aren't they?
They know nothing about what fun their dad/husband is having, do they?
They don't know about you, do they? Leaving aside the fact that i'm sure, those same lovely people would probably be devastated if they knew, why are they the problem? They were in his life long before you were, but like you say, you've known him for two months, so i'm sure he'd never do that to you.

So, if the case is as stated; all is well and nobody who knows about what is going on is being hurt, then why are you still feeling bad and loathe to admit your indiscretions?

Have fun.

and how did i do it?...


i saw the subject...i am in a forum ...i like to post my opinions here....and so I did!... so why do you think it did something so big with me!... was my response so wrong?... read it again....AND I AM VERY FIRM IN MY OPINION.

Disturbed relationships like that are product of greed in my view (you can have a different view of it!... !!!)... and greed has nothing to do with love/kindness or anything pure or creative.

greed on whos part? i am doing nothing wrong like my polish lover says how were we to know we were gonna meet each other and have feelings.. these things happen we are all free people.. marriedor not married it really makes no difference!!! if i put he has a girlfriend but he isnt married would it really make adifference? and no i dont know his wife but have seen picture and no we dont look anything alike.

Love and Lust are different...so are Emotion and Attraction...or Devotion and Desire.

Love is beautiful and creative. It is pure and glorious. Love has the power to stand alone united in a divided world, due to the truth in posseses. Love is strong because of its power of cure. Love brings smiles, and it wipes off tears. Love brings end to sorrow. Even if all perils of the world fall on the lovers... they still win. Because they have Love. The strength of the soul. Love is not hidden... it is as Bright and as Immensly Present as the summer sun in a clear sky on Noon time.

Lust... has all the negative charecteristics. It can be temprorarily mistaken as love... but gradually.... it becomes clear of its reality.

This are what I have felt for human emotions in my 20 years in this blue planet... and a busy life... with the privilage of having friends from many places ....LOVE IS THE SAME ALL OVER.

... hope love touches you all!... and hope people can recover from lusts.

he has wife and child. As you say...

If its still not wrong in your view... then do ahead for it.

But remember....we reap what we sow. God bless you.

Well...

well he obviusly is not in love with his wife anymore.... or maybe he is just passing his time with me....who knows apart from him

You are talking about the difference between a mature man and an immature guy. Maturity is when one makes a commitment (marriage or otherwise), they honor that commitment and if you meet someone else, than you get out of the commitment before proceeding into a new relationship. It's called being a decent human being. You know the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I agree with LS in the sense that maybe instead of the term greed, I would use the term selfish. It's been my experience (and believe me, I have plenty of it---lol) that relationships that start with a rocky foundation tend to crumble in the end. You sound somewhat young, so maybe this is just one of those "life lessons" you have to go through. Good luck.

mobile, have you ever been deeply in love with someone who cheated on you?

i am getting a lot of hassel of you guys arent i? no never been in love with someone who cheated on me and thats life... i am not that young 29 and he is 38. whatever difference that makes

I hope I don't sound like I'm hassling you like the others. I was just curious about the question I asked because I suspected it's never happened to you and I was right.

well maybe it has and i just never knew it.... i am really not a bad person

When you've been cheated on by a man who you truly love you don't have to wonder if what you're doing is hurting anyone.

how old is he and you if i can ask??

When you mess with a married man it's just so much deeper than you can imagine if you've never experienced the consequences yourself.

Have you ever studied philosophy by any chance Lone??? You're quite a deep thinker

i am 29 and he is 38.. i never mean to hurt anybody

i dont think anyone is hassling you mobile just trying to understand the situation and offer advice and that

I believe you. Nobody ever does. But it's unavoidable. You, too, are going to hurt when it ends because even though you don't want to get too deep, feelings grow between two people whether you want them to or not. It won't be a happy ending for anyone.

all negative advice as i can see.. nobody apart from myself thinks go for it

i dont think any of us intentionally mean to hurt anyone its just are nature to be curious in life and things happen along the way and sometimes people do get hurt which is a shame

shewolf, maybe just maybe it will work out for me and him..

Not with a married man.

This should not be a question in your mind until he's divorced.

telefonitika, i agree with you but i would sooner keep seeing him and see how it goes than stop i have nothing to lose

shewolf have you been hurt in the past?

Since day one.

sorry to hear that... but i cant stop now

I won't get into my past but just know that I understand your situation and that's why I'm saying what I'm saying.