Did Polish farmer Krzysztof Azninski chop his own head off?

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RevokeNice Threads: 26
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Jan 7, 2012, 05:08am #

True or False?

I was in the pub for the night and one of the Polish barmaids was chatting away to us. We were waffling onabout stupid shite we did whilst rubber drunk. During our conversation the Pole butted in with this story,

During the 90s a load of Polish lads went on the beve in some chaps house. He had a reputation for being a bit of a nancy boy. The lads got buckled drunk and then decided to play some drinking games. After a while they started lobbing bottles and other household items off each other. To prove who wasthe manliest. This kept escalating and eventually one lad whipped out a chainsaw, where her got it i dunno, and cut off a finger. Then the nancy boy goes watch this, swings the chainswaw at his neck and rips his own head off.

I was told this by a Pole, so dont attack me for bringing it up. She was adamant it was true. I dont believe it meself. I bet her a score that she was lying.

So, whats the story? Is it an urban myth or what?

czar Threads: 4
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Jan 7, 2012, 05:14am #

in before delete

GLUPEK

Jan 7, 2012, 05:31am #

I remember this happening. It made the front page of the WBJ.

Des Essientes Threads: 12
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Jan 7, 2012, 05:31am #

Thomas Mann has a story set in India called The Transposed Heads about two fellows who had each decapitated himself before an idol of Kali and then wife of one, who was the third point in the love triangle that inspired this gruesomeness, put the heads back upon the wrong bodies when the goddess appears and grants them life again. Mann went through alot of verbal antics in order to explain the feasibility of self-decapitation with a sword. A chainsaw seems like it would be alot more capable of taking this terminal act from fiction to fact.

RevokeNice Threads: 26
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Jan 7, 2012, 05:35am #

GLUPEK:

I remember this happening. It made the front page of the WBJ.

Link??????

GLUPEK

Jan 7, 2012, 05:37am #

Des Essientes:

Thomas Mann

Meister of symbolism, that one - Mixing culture(heads) does not kill but brings new life.

Wroclaw Boy Threads: 78
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Jan 7, 2012, 10:17am #

RevokeNice:

This kept escalating and eventually one lad whipped out a chainsaw, where her got it i dunno, and cut off a finger.

Chainsaws are very common in Poland, they all have them in the country.

Its BS because how could anyone cut off one finger with a chainsaw? The chain is about 0.7 cm think and has lots of links with small blades which pull towards the saw, it would mash a finger and pull in the others. Also the saw usually weighs around 4-7kg, it would be virtually impossible to cut off one finger even if you had someone else holding the saw with two hands.

You could saw off a hand, leg, head - easy, but not a finger.

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free

milky Threads: 18
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Jan 7, 2012, 10:19am #

So the moral of the story is - always carry a chainsaw, just in case you are confronted by annoying Polish Macho men. You won't even have to physically fight them, just give them an arm wrestle and, afterward, casually hand them a chainsaw. Tip to success in Poland.

smurf Threads: 55
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Jan 7, 2012, 10:28am #

cool story bro

Richfilth Threads: 8
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Jan 7, 2012, 10:34am #

This is the story of Krzysztof Azninski:

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1996-07.html

milky Threads: 18
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Jan 7, 2012, 10:39am #

What a hero!

beta2

Jan 7, 2012, 02:03pm #

another Polish joke ?
there's no such Polish name as 'Azninski'

teflcat Threads: 8
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Jan 7, 2012, 02:08pm #

Impossible. It would have chewed up his neck a bit and then stopped. Chainsaws hate cutting anything other than wood. I've got one and I must say it's the best fun a guy can have with his clothes on, but cutting your own head off? Rural myth, albeit a funny one.

Harry Threads: 86
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Jan 7, 2012, 02:12pm #

RevokeNice:

During the 90s a load of Polish lads went on the beve in some chaps house. He had a reputation for being a bit of a nancy boy. The lads got buckled drunk and then decided to play some drinking games. After a while they started lobbing bottles and other household items off each other. To prove who wasthe manliest. This kept escalating and eventually one lad whipped out a chainsaw, where her got it i dunno, and cut off a finger. Then the nancy boy goes watch this, swings the chainswaw at his neck and rips his own head off.

Yes, I remember this one. Mid 90s. I believe that the first self-mutilation was somebody nailing his hand to the table, then the bloke with his foot and then the head bloke. Apparently the neighbours got fed up with the drunken singing and called the police, who found the guys singing a song about rolling the head of the giant home.

Harry Threads: 86
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Jan 7, 2012, 02:23pm #

Found it.

Toughness contests are a traditional part of Polish recreational life," Regional Prosecutor Stefan Wojcelski told a court in Stargard Szczeciski, "and the state has no wish to interfere with a playful tradition. But, while we accept amputation as an inevitable part of this we do not accept murder, and I therefore ask for the heaviest penalites to be broiguth against the three accused.

Wojcelski, who was leading the prosecution of three men accused of manslaughter, explained what had happened. "The three men had been drinking solidly all afternoon in the garden of Krzysztofy Azninski, the dead man. They put on traditional toughness bonnets and began a contest. At first they played breath holding contests. Then they hit each other with blocks of wood and banged nails into their own flesh. But then Franciszek Zyzcoszusko put his hand on a chopping block, and dared Krzysztof A to cut it off. Krzysztof A hacked at it with ihis own knife partially severing the wrist then pout his own head on the block and challenged Franciszek Z to chop it off. Franciszek Z beheaded him with an axe. The three (remaining) men decided things had gone too far, stopped the contest, and began singing a folksong "Roll the head of the giant" which woke the neighbours. Thats when they were observed burying the body in the garden."

The three accused pleaded not guilty on grounds of drunkeness.

(PAP [Polish News Agency], 25/10/94, printed in Private Eye.)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2007/dec/31/nazdrowiecheers

delphiandomine Threads: 53
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Jan 7, 2012, 02:38pm #

Harry:

It's not just me that died of laughter after reading this, right?

gumishu Threads: 21
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Jan 7, 2012, 02:39pm #

Harry:

ranciszek Zyzcoszusko

completely made up

Harry Threads: 86
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Jan 7, 2012, 02:41pm #

gumishu:

completely made up

You mean not everything which is printed in Private Eye is true?!

JonnyM Threads: 16
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Edited by: JonnyM Jan 7, 2012, 04:08pm #

gumishu:

completely made up

The name of the guy might be, however I remember the story was fairly widely reported in the UK at the time. I've heard the story told in Poland too.

It might sound outrageous and hard to believe. But so would a story about Polish ambulance staff murdering hundreds of patients so they can get bribes from funeral homes, wouldn't it........

gumishu Threads: 21
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Edited by: gumishu Jan 7, 2012, 04:14pm #

JonnyM:

The name of the guy might be, however I remember the story was fairly widely reported in the UK at the time. I've heard the story told in Poland too.

It might sound outrageous and hard to believe. But so would a story about Polish ambulance staff in Łódź murdering hundreds of patients so they can get bribes from funeral homes, wouldn't it...

the number of versions quoted in this thread shows that is just a story, I can't think of any Polish song that could be rendered as 'Roll the head of the giant', too.
The names are made up and/or misspelled in every instance.

JonnyM Threads: 16
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Edited by: JonnyM Jan 7, 2012, 04:15pm #

gumishu:

that is just a story

A true one. I remember it at the time. It was an axe rather than a chainsaw.

bored

Jan 7, 2012, 05:10pm #

Yet another creepy urban legend as the one about Alice Cooper cutting open his own abdomen, pulling out his intestines and jumping rope with them. LOL

a.k.

Jan 7, 2012, 05:18pm #

I think it's an urban legends but if you need horror stories I can tell you a few which might seem to be urban legends but they are not.

Sidliste_Chodov Threads: 2
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Jan 7, 2012, 07:31pm #

I bet they also used the chainsaw to slaughter some swans for dinner :D

Wroclaw Threads: 83
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Jan 7, 2012, 09:05pm #

teflcat:

Impossible. It would have chewed up his neck a bit and then stopped.

there was a report in the telegraph a few days ago about a uk man doing just that.

JonnyM Threads: 16
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Jan 7, 2012, 09:10pm #

And somebody sadly commuted suicide not long ago by fixing one to his ceiling. Mind you, to kill someone it just has to sever an artery.

teflcat Threads: 8
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Jan 7, 2012, 09:15pm #

Wroclaw:

there was a report in the telegraph a few days ago about a uk man doing just that.

What? Cutting his head off, or damaging an artery in his neck? Not quite the same thing. There's something they call chainsaw kickback. Google it and you'll know what I meant by 'impossible'.

Wroclaw Threads: 83
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Jan 7, 2012, 09:22pm #

teflcat:

Google it and you'll know what I meant by 'impossible'.

i don't have to google. i have a student who managed to slice into both his leg and arm with a chainsaw.

my above post was just a point of interest in connection with the topic.

delphiandomine Threads: 53
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Jan 7, 2012, 09:25pm #

teflcat:

What? Cutting his head off, or damaging an artery in his neck? Not quite the same thing. There's something they call chainsaw kickback. Google it and you'll know what I meant by 'impossible'.

This guy managed - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7505443.stm

I wouldn't know about it though, I was explicitly forbidden from ever going near a chainsaw :(

Harry Threads: 86
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Jan 7, 2012, 09:30pm #

delphiandomine:

This guy managed - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7505443.stm

Lucky you found that link: I was beginning to think that the only way to answer this question was to ask for a volunteer.

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