How do I get my Polish girlfriend back??

We were together 4 years, she lived in Poznan and me in holland. We visited eachother regularly and spent hollidays together. Holland in the begining of this year still made things difficult for polish people to work there, so we decided to go to my home country South Africa. I had spent a lot of time with her family and friends and figured that we can go live in SA for 6 months so she can be with my family and friends. She can see how it is and if she did not like it, we'll go back to europe.
So I left after spending 4 weeks with her and everything was great between us. I decided to get a engagement ring and was going to give it to her when she comes to SA a couple of months after me.
So I left Poland to South Africa and all went good for about a month, then she just decided it was not for her. I told her I would come back to Poland, still no.
I want to go to Poland and confront her, but it is a lot of money to probably just get rejected.
Polish women can be so stubborn, any ideas what I can do to win her back?
I definitly am willing to relocate and live in Poznan, but first need to know she'll give me a chance.

Topic attached on merging:
Girls of Poland, please help

Polish girls, please help me with suggestions on how to win my girl back...
We were together 4 years, she lived in Poznan and me in holland. We visited eachother regularly and spent hollidays together. Holland in the begining of this year still made things difficult for polish people to work there, so we decided to go to my home country South Africa. I had spent a lot of time with her family and friends in Poland and figured that we can go live in SA for 6 months so she can be with my family and friends. She can see how it is and if she did not like it, we'll go back to europe.
So I left in May after spending 4 weeks with her and everything was great between us. I decided to get a engagement ring and was going to give it to her when she comes to SA a couple of months after me.
So I left Poland to South Africa and all went good for about a month, then she just decided it was not for her. I told her I would come back to Poland, still no. She did not want me to.
I want to go to Poland and confront her, but it is a lot of money to probably just get rejected.
Polish women can be so stubborn, any ideas what I can do to win her back?
I definitly am willing to relocate and live in Poznan, but first need to know she'll give me a chance.\
What to do?......

I don't know.

The best you can do is to move on with your life. Learn to live with losses. I also found the man of my dreams and I have to face the fact that he'll never be with me. Such is life. I know how you feel but I'm afraid, there's nothing you can do about it.

Justyna is right ( as always) it is tough but you must move on as she has apparently decided your relationship is over.

Have you moved on Justyna?

While moving on might be the right thing to do - I have to say I believe somethings are worth fighting for and I believe if you were planning on asking this girl to be your wife, well this is one of those things.

You know your chances much better than I do, but if you think their is a chance and believe that you can get the girl back then go for it. After its all over youll either have your girlfriend (or fiance) or be out of money and time - but I know personally that I could move on a lot easier if I knew that I did everything rationally possible to make it work.

As for what to do - going back to Poland (like you say) is risky and expensive. So depending on your financial situation and how great you think your odds of success are would be what I would use to judge this. Also as you say polish girls are stubborn but I believe they also like their men to be a bit stubborn as well, and for them to stand up for them self and what they believe in.

Just my ,02

Thanks, I am allready looking for work in Poznan, and want to go. Life here in SA is not what I had hoped. I miss her like hell. I left Poland thinking she would come, she said she would and that she loved me, now this... Have to get her back, or at least see her one last time, so I can get closure.
But indeed, going to Poland just for closure is expensive, I should hope for the best, and see.

Wow ... I think it's amazing the lengths you are willing to go to ,she must mean a lot to you ..... i just hope her feelings are mutual .

I hope so too...
I would not have gotten a ring if I was not serious. We spoke about it and she was fine with the idea of getting engaged, she just wanted it before I go to SA, but come on, that is a man's honour to know where he wants to get engaged, and I have my place by the sea in SA.

not sure if this will help you, but my friend's boyfriend has told her that he has bought her an engagement ring. she is waiting for him to ask the big question...because he will not do this yet, she thinks he does not care enough about her to make the commitment, this is putting doubt in her mind as to whether he really does want to get married.. You say that it is man's honour etc... but it is cruel to announce you have a ring and then make your girfriend wait.... could be the answer to why she has cooled off? Take a chance go see her, propose, give her the ring......if she says no you could always sell the ring to pay for the wasted flight:))

I told her that I got the ring when she started becoming difficult to come to SA. In other words when I was allready here.
I stayed with her in Poznan 4 weeks before I left for SA, I bought the ring in that time, without her knowing I did. Wanted to surprise her when she came.

Seems strange he tells her he has bought her an engagement ring and then not ask her to marry him. Why tell her if he is not going to ask her unless it is to keep her hanging on which if it is is cruel.

To clarify, we spoke about getting engaged earlier this year. I then went and bought the ring secretly, without her knowing, just before I left Europe. I was planning on asking her when she arrived here in South Africa, which would have been middle next month. Recently she started getting difficult and not wanting to come here anymore, so then I told her that I got the ring and that I am willing to go back to Poland and be with her.

Sorry, see your reply was directed at Goldie

Pic of us in happier times on my profile

Very nice picture.

Thanks

sorry for the editing Peter.. I was going to post something showing that I empathised with you situation, but then changed my mind as it felt too personal to put on here. Anyway I wish you good luck with the Polish woman.. but having seen your pic I dont think you'll have any probs finding another woman who may deserve you more.. although Im sure thats not what you want right now.

......You must know her quite well if you were together for 4 years ?

......if there is an inkling of a chance, go and fight for her.......that's what i'd want in a similar situation.


You both look very happy in the pic. :)

petervs:
I am sorry, i misunderstood... if you do not go to see her and try again you may regret it for the rest of your life...i agree that you do need closure...so maybe go for it

Jambo:
yes, i think her boyfriend is cruel..apparently he wants to marry her and spend the rest of his life with her....do not what his problem is

She's told him to bog off, relationships fall apart, thats life, move on...and he slagged her off on the forum so in my book he's a twat...

Thanks for the nice words Amathyst.
Booking my ticket next week, I'm going.

good luck peter :)

life is all about taking chances, doesn't matter whether it always works out, more important to say you've tried.......


really hope it goes well for you.

my motto is if they don't want to be with you it's their loss... there is always more fish in the sea.


believe it or not Goonie has been heartbroken before :)

Cool one Goonie, But I would not have bought a ring if I was not sure of this "fish" , this one I can see myself growing old, ugly and fat with.

Got a ticket.
Wish me luck

Good luck, but remember when someone tells you they dont love you anymore, thats one of the hardest things to do, she didnt do it lightly (Im sure) she did it because she obviously had her reasons and I personally think you should respect that. Its hard enough breaking it off with someone without them constantly badgering you.

Sorry to sound so unromantic folkes but I can sympathise with his x.

It is not unromantic, your being a realist and telling the truth, if you've got another ticket then its good money wasted, you will learn the hard way but i guess you'll learn that moving on is necessary in life and this is just one of those times.

Good luck anyway

good luck..really hope it works out for you petervs