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Etiquette in a Store and Market Queues in Poland


Magdalena 3 | 1,837
18 Jun 2013 #91
Is it okay for one Pole to walk to the front of a queue just because they feel like it?

I never said that.

Those habits are simply rude and there's no excusing them.

Yes they are rude, and no, they are not typically Polish. As I said, I've experienced them in the London as well. And before you bring up the "London is not England" defence - yes, many such encounters were initiated by people who were - or at least seemed - white British.

while not avoiding the collision, he simply chose not to avoid what the other person was doing.

And to me, and presumably to Grzegorz as well, that is rude. The other person was oblivious to her surroundings, so a well-behaved person would walk around her instead of trying to "teach her a lesson." What if the telephone conversation were life-changing? Someone just died? She got fired? Or maybe she got the job she was dreaming of? No empathy there?

Also, as I think Grzegorz pointed out earlier, the fact that someone else is rude is no excuse to be rude in turn. A truly well-mannered person would try to improve the situation, not make it worse. Like, in this case, step aside. It's as simple as that. The woman was not aggressive or deliberately walking into BLS. In fact, it was him who deliberately walked into her. That's rude in my book.

.Now please tell me how you would interpret that.

A truly funny story and I wonder how it ended. It's either a question of him trying to give you space at the same time, with both of you moving in the same direction (if the movement was simultaneous). Or maybe he really wanted to walk right into you, which I doubt, but who knows?

How did the encounter end then?
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768
18 Jun 2013 #92
with both of you moving in the same direction (if the movement was simultaneous).

It wasn't. Each time I made a noticeable effort to get out his way, he made a deliberate effort to get in my way. When I gave him my "wtf" hand gesture, he did the same thing.

You asked how it ended.
Play stupid games and win stupid prizes- I haven't seen him since.

Yes they are rude

So we're in agreement then? Fabulous: ) I was starting to wonder if there truly was a segment of the population here that supported such behavior.

As I said, I've experienced them in the London as well.

Oh gawd, tell me about it.
On the plus side one thing I noticed is that Londoners do not tolerate queue jumping. I'd like to see more of that here but of course not at the expense of the other benefits that exist here. I like how Poles tend not to put their noses in other people's business. Often I feel there's a real "live and let live" attitude here. However there's something like 1/8 individuals that in my honest opinion just seems to have a real "screw you" attitude to everyone else and I am perplexed that so many not only condone it but defend it.

The other person was oblivious to her surroundings,

No excuse for that and no good can come of making way for such people.
One shouldn't drive, ski, box, play football, go biking, play hockey or even ski without taking a look around. Of course the upside of your method is she'll get used to it and eventually get herself killed but she may take other mother's children with her as well. So we will have to agree to disagree on this I'm afraid as I cannot condone venturing out into public without regard for those around you.

You and Grzegorz should be applauding BLS and his efforts, who knows he may have given her the reminder she needed that will one day prevent her from walking into you and spilling her drink all over you before one of your appointments. You should be thanking him.

In fact, it was him who deliberately walked into her.

How did you get that interpretation?
My interpretation is that he was well within his right to use an English saying: Watch where you're going.
Is there anything similar in Polish?
Lenka 5 | 3,407
18 Jun 2013 #93
So a preocuppied girl is very rude but a guy bumping into her on purpose is not rude? If that's the case keep that kind politeness to yourself.
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
18 Jun 2013 #94
I cannot condone venturing out into public

You make it sound like an extreme sport! ;-)

that will one day prevent her from walking into you and spilling her drink all over you before one of your appointments. You should be thanking him.

The funny thing is I would probably have walked around her, unless we were both running and/or in a huge crowd. One somehow manages to steer clear. Maybe we're born with this skill.

Watch where you're going.

Well, you could say the same to him ;-) He "watched" where he was going, yet did not change direction. Out of principle. I just don't buy it.

Is there anything similar in Polish?

There's lots of ways you can say that, and most mothers badger their children about it all the time. Along with "say please", "sit straight" and "have you done your homework". ;-)
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768
18 Jun 2013 #95
f that's the case

As far as I understood it, that isn't the case.
However I am interested in how the majority of Polish posters have interpreted this little scenario. I feel like I'm on the verge of finally understanding some of you.

The way I see it (forgive me as I wasn't involved in this one but I have had a similar experience) is this:
If you (Lenka) are standing still and not in an entrance way or otherwise being obstructive and another person (BLS) is walking then it's that other person's job to avoid walking in to you or anyone else.

Do you see that differently?

Well, you could say the same to him ;-) He "watched" where he was going, yet did not change direction. Out of principle. I just don't buy it.

For the last time, as I understood the story:
He
Was
Not
Moving.

When you're moving, you have to look around at where you're going and where you're not. Does that really seem fundamentally wrong to you?
Lenka 5 | 3,407
18 Jun 2013 #96
After returning by train to Krakow a while back, I was walking in the tunnel that exits the station.

So he was moving.

And as to the standing still/moving- if you see someone's in a hurry or preocuppied- I would move out of their way.
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768
18 Jun 2013 #97
Well in that case I completely apologize.
They both should have been watching where they were going.
OP BLS 65 | 188
18 Jun 2013 #98
You and Grzegorz should be applauding BLS and his efforts

Thanks for the support, F4 - however, I have learned it is next to impossible to convince someone to acknowledge the long-term benefits of a situation when they can't think beyond the short-term consequences. I guess by this reasoning, punishing a child or a pet can also be considered rude. I happen to agree with the "short-term pain for long-term gain" philosophy in such matters, but obviously not everyone concurs.

You and I seem to agree that this is how we were taught to behave in our respective societies - I believe this made us more aware of our surroundings and, thus, more considerate of others. As I mentioned earlier, most of my students agreed with my tactics - only one took exception. Also, my girlfriend mentioned my situation to her friend - this friend admitted that she was never taught to think about the welfare others in public and would welcome such a "lesson" to help educate her. Needless to say, this was a shocking revelation for both of us! This person can clearly understand the long-term benefits of such tactics just as you, I, and likely the vast majority of Poles can (if my students are any indication).
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768
18 Jun 2013 #99
No way man, I re-neg, I re-neg!
Seriously though was this broad lookin straight ahead and chose not to see others or was she lookin around and kind of not lookin very oriented (you know how ladies do that from time to time)?

If she was headed straight for you and had no excuse not to see you then I still have to side with you on this but if she was distracted then we gots to investigate this further and dare I say, you may have been out of order sir.

Details man! Details!
Take us back there, take us back to the scene of this encounter that some Poles would describe as malicious and others would describe as warranted. Were you justified in not making some extra effort to get out of her way? Was an extra effort required? Was this part of a long-term socialization process you've hatched on the unsuspecting Poles? What exactly were your motives and have they changed?
pawian 221 | 23,970
18 Jun 2013 #100
Soon thereafter, a guy (mid-20's) showed up and asked that I relinquish my place in the queue.

That is quite unusual reaction, I have never seen it here, though of course such cases can happen, I suppose, not only in Poland. I sometimes pass left trolleys but people accept the possibility of being overtaken so they never behave in such a silly way.
BBman - | 344
18 Jun 2013 #101
Everything OP said happens everywhere. I experienced something similar here last week.

But one thing that I found really irritating in Poland is how close people stand in queues. Must they stand such that their front is touching my backside? Do they really think someone will jump in if there is 30-60cm of space between people?? And when u leave space between yourself and the person in front of you, those standing behind you get visibly nervous and sometimes start pushing.
Lenka 5 | 3,407
18 Jun 2013 #102
That is real cultural difference. It was shown Poles have smaller personal space requirements than for example Brits
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,149
19 Jun 2013 #103
Details man! Details!

You guys may write a book about a blind girl and a Nordic sticks forest monster but a fact is that it's YOU who are lacking something If you find walking in Poland so problematic, lack of some social skills, incorrect perception of distance or whatever it is, it is your problem, we don't bump into each other much here, I believe one day you will also learn how to avoid it.
pawian 221 | 23,970
19 Jun 2013 #104
But one thing that I found really irritating in Poland is how close people stand in queues.

Yes, it may be annoying (we talked about it somewhere here already) but I must tell you the situation has greatly improved since communist times and the average queue distance has visibly increased.
Ozi Dan 26 | 569
19 Jun 2013 #105
But one thing that I found really irritating in Poland is how close people stand in queues.

Mate, it happens here in Australia all the time. I was at the servo yesterday buying fuel. I went to the counter to pay, then turned around and there was a bloke standing right behind me, not more than 30cms. There was no-one else in the queue! At that same servo a few days earlier I was actually trapped when I turned around to leave. A guy was right behind me and a lady was right behind to my left. All three of us had to engage in an idiotic side step manoeuvre for me to be able to leave the counter.

What really annoys me is when you go to type in your pin number for eftpos and some goose is standing just behind and to your side. If I sense this I'll turn around with a frustrated look and a really loud, frustrated sigh, then shake my head as I face the counter again. It also gets me when you're at the counter or checkout paying for your stuff and the dill behind you reaches around you to pick up some chewy or a lolly on display, when all they had to do was wait til they were next and pick it up from right in front of them.
Meathead 5 | 469
19 Jun 2013 #106
No way, Polish parents are too overbearing (suffocating is a better word), and if the family life was so great you would have a lot less of this:

Poland has a serious problem with corruption

newpip - | 139
19 Jun 2013 #107
suffocating is spot on.
goofy_the_dog
19 Jun 2013 #108
Oh yeah, certainly polush parents as all eastern europe are backwards and should take lessons of how raise kids from perfect western couples!! ;-)
In the uk, child pregnancy is still quite high, cannabis, fags and alcohol are commonely used by 15-16yrs olds... Such a peefect western family model ;-)
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768
19 Jun 2013 #109
You guys may write a book about a blind girl and a Nordic sticks forest monster

Oh dear, a lot of you get so offended when someone says something other than "Polska jest najlepsza." Don't read it if it bothers you so much. We're just having fun sharing some observations that believe it or not actually occur.

but a fact is that it's YOU who are lacking something If you find walking in Poland so problematic

"Fact...If"
I've heard Poles say the exact same things so put away your toy guns because no one's attacking you. If you are that offended by the content of this thread it's likely you who has poor depth perception and bumbles into everyone. Now keep your head up and watch where you're going because you've obviously wandered in to the wrong thread.

Now BLS, back to the story; give us the whole story. Tell us all the gritty details man; )
goofy_the_dog
19 Jun 2013 #110
Foreigner u r generalising with "polska jest najlepsza" ... Firstly it is and secondly ... Let me
Reprhase a very famous sentence used by nearly every brit at some point when he overhears a pole talking about stuff that suck in the uk... " Go back if yar dont like it! We dont eant u her.. Etc"

;-)
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,861
19 Jun 2013 #111
well what do you expect goofy if you stand around whinging about your host country?
plus no-one would suggest moving to redneckland in any country - east arsefeck or wherever you had the misfortune to be moved to is not representative of 'nearly every Brit', thank you.
goofy_the_dog
19 Jun 2013 #112
I was being sarcastic roz nvm
4f was generalising so i used sarcasm.

He moans and rants on the we walk !!
jon357 74 | 21,757
19 Jun 2013 #113
cannabis, fags and alcohol are commonely used by 15-16yrs olds

You think it's different here in PL?
goofy_the_dog
19 Jun 2013 #114
Much different.
jon357 74 | 21,757
19 Jun 2013 #115
That just shows how out of touch you are.
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
19 Jun 2013 #116
Well this pretty much sums up the double standards I see on this forum, in many threads, this one included. Because to me, it seems that either we can both whine (i.e. the Pole abroad and the expat in Poland) or none should be allowed to. Stands to reason? Or are some of us more equal than others? Seriously.
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,149
19 Jun 2013 #117
I've heard Poles say the exact same things

Your girlfriend, your students etc. :)

Oh dear, a lot of you get so offended

It's not I am offended, I am just laughing at you.
jon357 74 | 21,757
19 Jun 2013 #119
Exactly. Just the same. Long queues of teenagers to the 'night shop' and those little glass pipes in shops everywhere.

Hopefully it'll make them a bit more chilled out than some of their forebears, but perhaps that's optimistic.
Foreigner4 12 | 1,768
19 Jun 2013 #120
You guys are waaaaaaaaaaaay too uptight. So what if we notice some goofs do goofy sh*t (I understand that probably hits close to home for you Mr. dog)?

Some of you can't even navigate a message board without getting offended at a few observations others make. There are little things that are different wherever one goes and all we've done here is notice some idiosyncrasies of Polish culture. If you have that much trouble acknowledging such things exist then you've really got to get over your collective selves.

Now then, other than pip's comment I don't recall anyone writing that all Poles suck at queuing or don't know how to walk properly or anything that sweeping. If I'm wrong, as I've been before, then kindly point out in this thread who wrote such a generalizing comment and we can all get mad at that person. If I wrote such a thing then I will gladly rescind that statement and apologize profusely. I mean it too because there's a lot of good that I enjoy here every day in people and places.

He moans and rants on the we walk !!

No I don't. I commented on some people not all Poles. If you are one of the retards who walks in everyone's path then I hope something large and heavy falls on you soon. If you're not one of those people then go back to fetching sticks.

Because to me, it seems that either we can both whine (i.e. the Pole abroad and the expat in Poland) or none should be allowed to. Stands to reason? Or are some of us more equal than others? Seriously.

If a foreigner living in Poland told you not to whine about living in the UK while they themselves whined about living in Poland then you'd have a point. Have any of us on this thread told you not to whine about dumb sh*t some of the English do?

You wouldn't protest if Poles said these things so why do you care in the least if non Poles make observations about some things in Poland?

In my experience:
Polish food is the best in the region
Polish hospitality is second to none
Polish competitiveness is worthy of song
Feel better?


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