6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her..

girls will tell each other everything...trust me..

I would suggest you leave it - totally, when a women says "I just really want to be friends" its a really polite way of saying I really dont fancy you that way, but I like your company...It's quite evident that you are interested in her in a romantic way and she is not reciprocting those feelings...thats life, just dont hassle her she will begin to resent it...

I was going to say, do you honestly think she has no idea her friend talked to you? She probably put her friend up to it so as to let you down easy, without having to face you and tell you herself. I'm sorry for you, Sparky, because I know it's painful, but you will survive. You can't force someone to feel something that they don't---you are better off just leaving her alone and moving on. I promise, one day you will find someone who is worthy of your love! Hang in there!

Listen to Amathyst----she knows what she's talking about.

I second that....e v e r y t h i n g

No, if in a happy intimate relationship, women dont discuss stuff, its only when things go wrong they start to tell friends what a b*stard you are!!!

true but also depends on how close of friends they are. I've heard some crazy sh*t in my days ....but I'm old

Mr F, I suppose it depends on who your friends are and who you know, I personally dont discuss my personal stuff with friends no matter how close they are, its just not me, Im not comfortable talking about certain things, I suppose it comes down to, I wouldnt like a guy talking about personal stuff to his friends....

Also its nice to just have something between you and your partners...

Thanks everyone,

Yeah, I spoke to her last night for an hour. She didn't mention anything about this friendship thing until I asked her.

To be honest things just don't add up? Something has happened since my visit at Christmas to make her think like this. Before then everything was ok. At Christmas we met another of her friends from her village, he was laughing and joking with her, when I asked her what was wrong she said now he knows I'm not single????

She did say to be as well that I wasn't very chatty with her family, was that a put off for her? With the language problem both ways I tried my best, probably would have been better with time. We didn't hold hands, kiss, cuddle or anything in view of her family and friends, bascially I didn't know how she would have reacted, this sort of thing produced negative responses in the begining.

Another thing she told me, is that she is taking her Police exams. Perhaps she thinks it would be better being single to get through that and not have any distractions (me)

Well globetrotter, i get what your saying. I spoke to her last night, I feel like having a chat today with her, but don't want to put the guilt trip on her, perhaps I will leave it a few days and then call her.

Am i willing to change, yes of course, she knows that. I was prepared to give my job up and relocate to Poland, my father offered to buy a house out there, I am trying to learn Polish, I am getting my birth certificate registered to get confirmation of citizenship to get a passport (father is Polish)..........................................??????????????????

I am not angry at her, just need more questions answering, because none of this makes sense to me, too many things she told me are not adding up!

Most men who are married for even 50 years never truly understand their ladies

Good call. Bottom line is the more you keep going with this the more it's going to hurt if it all falls through. Against that you have to balance a lifetime of regrets if you don't try and if she means that much to you. Only you can make the call.

"that she is taking her Police exams"



Dude lucky you got away now, can you imagine if you'd end up with a copper!!!!!!!!!

I'm feel for you rejection is never a positive experience, however, if one can learn from one's mistakes and ideally others mistakes you will emerge a better man.
Chin up.

anyway remember LIFE IS PAIN.

Yeah, i realise its going to hurt more it i'm going to chase this.

But I can't let go just yet, there's so many things I need to know from her.

The main thing, is what happend since christmas to make her feel like this, its just so sudden, it's not as if things were going wrong up until then. Another Polish friend told me before Xmas, she was so happy that I was coming to Poland to see her.

She did send me a text last night to say she was sorry if she hurt me, she didn't want to.

I think there is more to this than she is letting on.

I presume this topic will not result in any reasonable answer to this universal situation.

The best... talk with the girl, tell her that you have a goal in life and would be happy if the relationship results in something meaningful, sooner than later!...

of course there is more to it than she is letting on... as i said many posts ago, she is messing with your head... how kind of her to say she is sorry if she hurt you cliche cliche but it seems that she hasnt had the courtesy to tell you what you need to know...

mate... rejection hurts... it happens to all of us... get over it already... plenty more fish cliche cliche

I agree with BW, she is messing you about and she is not being honest, best thing to do is knock it on the head and move on....easier said than done but what's point if the feelings are only one sided.

yeah, i know, perhaps with time I'll get over her.

I just thought she was the one for me.

If i think about it perhaps the signs were there all along.

I don't blame Poland on this one girl, my love for the country is still strong, maybe we just weren't compatible, like many people have said to me here and off-line, you can't make someone love you if they don't feel the same. There is a women out there who would appreciate the love I have to offer, and would show it all back to me.

Sparky all good things come to those who wait.....love is found in the most unexpected places honey...good luck

mate... ive feked up enough relationships to be only too familiar with the pain of rejection and heartache... it bloody hurts... but life does go on and we do recover... no matter how unlikely it seems at the time...

... i dont like telling you to just get over it and move on... because this is not what i would want to hear in your position... but i do know its the best thing to do... and i have also had enough experience to know when someone is embarking on a bit of head messing... which really looks like the case here...

be cool dude... lots of luck and happiness...

If i am truly honest,

Monday night was a good nights sleep, the weeks of uncertainty are at an end, perhaps all i needed was closure.

Glad you slept well, Sparky. It does get easier with time. Hang in there and remember you are not alone.

I think I understand her now.......................


People who posted onto this topic may say.....you're a fool, leave it be, move on, she is still messing with your head etc.

But..............after a long chat last night, things have become clearer to me, about this whole situation.

It appears, as i thought, that it was my last visit that changed things with her. Apparently she said she thought it would change things with us, but it didn't.

And i knew, what tha meant straight away, the lack of affection I showed to her in the whole visit. I had nothig to lose, so I opened up my heart and told her why.

I said she couldn't imagine the number of times i wanted to hold her, hold her hand, brush the hair out of her eyes and kiss her, I love you. I told her I was sat watching her staring out of the window one day, and all i wanted to do was walk up behind her and hug her lovingly. I suppose I didn't because I knew she was hurt bad in the past, and didn't know the reaction it would generate, more the fool me for not trying.

It was quiet on the phone, she listened.

The end result was, she said she would have a think over the weekend and let me know how things stood, perhaps others here will say, mate its still mind games, but I couldn't let go altogether until I had found the real reason behind this.

Yes, perhaps I am living over the next few days on false hope, maybe the answer will still be the same, but like globetrotter said, if you feel so strong about someone, and you don't make the call, you could live with a lifetime of regret if you didn't try.

I think if the answer is still the same, then i have to let go, I think I have said all i can now in two long phone calls this week, apart from telling her my feelings for her are so genuine, there is nothing more I can think of doing (short of offering her a ring, which i just think wouldn't work?)

Well everyone, it seems my situation has improved.

Spoke to my girl las night, she got my last e-mail, she said I should come over to her when the snow has cleared a bit (lives in a small place) and see how things go from there.

I am going to keep a very open mind about everything and not get excited until I am out actually out there with her, but I realise after the last three weeks, I might have to take things slow, perhaps I was to keen before and she felt trapped???

But it's right what others said, communication is the key, and in my case it has worked.

I'll just have to see how it goes from here.

(And if sparky is reading this posting, I didn't realise there were alternate versions of this username until I had signed up, I think people will know the difference between Sparky and sparky359)

Best wishes to both of you.

PS - I'll phone my ex-colleague again today to see if he's found any vacancies for you. Sounds like you might need that job out there now!

Thanks globetrotter,

I appreciate your help

Hey Globetrotter,

Just wandered if you had anymore news from your ex-colleague.

Cheers

He had not done much about looking. I gave him a reminder. Will chase him again

I am sorry but the offered help will not be delivered. The poster using the name globetrotter was an impostor with a grudge against me. The person concerned gained access to my computer and even went so far as to post a picture of my wife and I. I want to make it clear to everybody that there has been a case of cyber ID theft. I have not had the time to review all the posts made by the individual but I came across this one and wanted to let you know that no help will be forthcoming. If there are any other offers of help elsewhere then these too should be discounted. The person concerned has been identified. Suffice it so say that action will be taken but not too drastic I hope since he or she is dealing with some problems at the moment.

I suppose this is a graphic example of the power and the danger of the web.

/\

Methinks Sparky's stalker is back.