OK so he/she cheated... What next?

in my case this is the couse, as well as it was in yours. u say u,ve overcome those insecuryties. how did u do that?

very true!!

Theres no room for a second time, 1 strike and its over.

Ok how about this? if you know someone has cheated on their ex repeatedly.. does that mean they will neccessarily cheat on you too? Most people say once a cheater always a cheater, but surely it depends on the relationship you are on as to whether you will cheat? just interested to know what people think.

i dont care about a womens past. she hasnt cheated on me.

kinda.. but would you really know if they cheated before? most people don't really talk about their indiscresions.

you never know....

you will never hear : " It's so great to meet you. I really like you. But hey, I am a cheater!"

lol

that's what i am saying. although i have heard that part once. effed her anyway. lol

aaahhh..... sorry to hear that plk....

no no.. it was all good. :D :D i just knew not to get my feelings in the middle of that one.

easy.

give them a one-way ticket on the bus to Dumpsville.


no exceptions

The best indicator/predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

Once they have been allowed to do it without consequence 'ie. not dumping the cheater in the first place', they know they can charm and manipulate your emotions and reasoning into staying with them. And they will.

Have some self respect and move on. They don't even deserve your friendship, even if they ask for forgiveness. You can forgive (but you don't need to tell them that), simply to unburden yourself of carrying the pain, anger, betrayal etc. They will have to carry the knowledge of their actions and the consequences with them for the rest of their life.

And you don't have to tell them you have forgiven them. It is for you, to speed the healing. If they wanted it, they can not only ask for it but earn it. But, even if they earn it, it is best to move on without them in your life. They are obviously spiritually, emotionally, and morally retarded to begin with if they cannot respect the love someone has for them.

They are not worth staying friends with. If they were the most important person in your life at one point, closer and more trusted than anyone else, and they betray you, well, then there is no way they are friend material.

Time for some early spring cleaning and kick the trash to the kerb!

"I've upped my standards, so 'Up Yours'!"

next you find a new girlfriend/boyfriend, unless it's only sex for sport anyway

well what if they had told you and also you were the person that they had cheated with on their ex? I've heard people say that relationships that begin with cheating can never last..do people think this is the case?

unless she told me, i wouldnt know.
even if she did tell me, i wouldnt hold her past against her.

the guy my ex was having an affair with while she was married to me are no longer together.
they lasted a little over a year together, lol

well Im almost 3 years so doing a little better than that I guess. Dont know why Im asking really, its just that I keep hearing people say this.. but guess its not always the case.

I would never be with a cheater. one time and your out.
people should before getting together who they been with and their behavior is like now.

True.

Honestly, I think it is just life experience. As we get older, we start to see what is truly important in life. I don't know exactly how old you are, foxy, but I will be 42 in a few weeks. As I have aged, I realized the things I use to worry about in my 20's are not as important. In my 30's, I realized there are plenty of good men out there that don't cheat. I also realized that I deserve nothing less than for someone to be faithful. I am always faithful and loyal and I expect the same. If someone cheats.....they are out the door!

ranj you are very wise.

greg so true I am right

When I met my soon to be ex, she was single, but her boyfriend was married. I remember thinking, "well, she wasn't cheating on anyone." Young and foolish! What I should have learned was that she didn't value marriage. If she can be "the other woman," then what she's saying is that cheating is fine. So, when life was good, she was faithful. As soon as the path got a little rocky, she found a boyfriend. The first seven years were great though:-) Anyway, learn from others mistakes, human nature is just that and if someone doesn't value either their own relationships, or the relationships of others, getting involved with them is you asking to be hurt and betrayed.

Cheating is for poor people, who is cheating cant find happyness. And if someone gonna cheat me and if i trust that girl, the end of story she goes under-ground, me to hell.. So cheating destroys life, if u have no honour, u can live with that sign on your forehead.. Who has honour for ownself, cant accept cheating. Just can go away from this, but never escape from this.. What to do ? Oh come on do not wait everything from God, he's busy in Iraq now, cheated must give that punishment as well as painful.. Cause some crimes never forget like screaming under someone else if you have your own love..Unacceptable, unforgivenable !!!

really??? Im curious to know how you know this and what exactly he/she is doing there?
nothing wrong with this is there ;)

God over there and busy with give lessons to people who is putting his nose to where they shouldn't..Some of them learnt that and going away from there, but some of them still think they are fighting for PEACE :) How can you bring PEACE with MK4's, with AK47's..

If you are able to accept that shame, i have nothing to tell you more..

forgive me for asking, but is it God or Allah.. or are they one and the same?

Oh my dear poor sapphire..Yesterday Mr. Bush talked about it even..Like "We believe in same, our God the one" So if Mr. Bush saying that God = Allah...You are praying and saying THANKS GOD, and we are saying in Turkish; ÇOK ŞÜKÜR ALLAH'IM..If you believe in even doesnt matter what is name...Cause you gonna have direct contact with God/Allah..For example yesterday was holy day for muslims cause Kuran started come to earth as muslims believing.. So in this day every muslim believes that day more valuable than 18 months. And before sleep they all praying and specially in ramazan month, almost every people has in peace...Thats very nice, being togather, one hand, one body..

well it must be true then huh :) :)

I can forgive MANY things, a can let many things go.
But i CANNOT abide a cheater.

Whether you are the cheater or the cheaters tool (the other person) It is still cheating. If you're ok with it then you show no care for one being cheated on.
I complete disreguard for somebodies feelings is disgusting - If you feel bad about doing it GOOD you SHOULD! If you don't feel bad you don't deserve anybody in your life.

My last relationship. She told me she'd cheated on somebody once. That made it SOOO much harder to trust her. Yes that isn't part of my relationship But if she can do it to one person, she can do it to another.
She says she learnt her lesson., it ruined her relationship with th guy - he still doesn't know. they broke up and are now friends. Saying it now sounds so much worse.
But I was in love with her. It tends to cloud our judgement.

HA! I am surprisingly elated now. Well as can be. I can love her less now. Thank you for putting this thread up.
I know now that I am far too good for her. (there are other things besides cheating that weren't right with us lol)
I just wish I hadn't had it in the first place. You can go without this kind of pain :(