Quoting: ta obca
unfortunately some older people are bitter and negative
maybe so, and sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the hands of your mother in law but you're letting the same negativity and bitterness manifest itself in you too .
Quoting: ta obca
I wonder if she would treat me the same if I was English-born
If you were English born you would have known to stand up to her immediately instead of letting it drag on for 12 years and i'm sure your mother-in-law would have respected you more for it.
Only solution is to start standing up to her. And if you can't, it's only a matter of time before your english-born children sees what's happening and starts standing up to her.
As they say, what goes round always comes around. Good luck.