my polish boyfriend never says 'l love you' to me, what should i do?

Ewa please send more posts like that.You are super.You give so much information to us poor guys,at least a reliable source.

but southern you are such an expert on the female sex, why would you need any help?

Absolutely. I repeat my previous suggestion that Southern creates his own advice and guidance thread where all us males can easily know where to find advice on how to improve our sex lives beyond our wildest dreams. The added benefit of this approach is that I could safely navigate the rest of the Forum safe in the knowledge that I can avoid the puerile ramblings.

I want to see the other side of the hill.

oh my god, things are changing really faster than what I planed.
In this week I got one job offer from Radom polish national institite for one year's contract and another one from Newcastle university for three years.
I will let my boyfriend to choose one for me. i am not going to anywhere alone anylonger.
question again:
will polish men mind their wives earn more than them?
how to arrange family financial issues? we share all our belongs or keep financially independent?

will he go with you to wherever you go.. and why will you let him choose? I am with a Polish man and in my experience he is very proud, but still unsurprisingly willing to accept financial help from me at times :) I think in an ideal world they would like to be the breadwinner though.. but guess it depends on the individual...sometimes it can be a novelty for them to be with a woman who has a decent job and good salary.
Good luck to you both.. I love my partner, but the relationship is fraught with cultural differences at times.. you just need to weigh up the pros and cons and work out whether you will be happy staying together for the long haul.

Shame poor you, get a life

Yes.

is it the trend for young polish couple to be financially independent? I thought it happens only in weasten european countries.
in my mind, family means share everything. if you at the begining think of how to protect your money from divorce, why do you get married. just live together is more agreeable.

oh yes...keep your money separate.. dont get a joint bank account, credit card etc...but consider having a joint account for household bills only.. thats my opinion anyway and nothing to do with nationality.

tell that to Paul McCartney!

It has nothing to do with divorce. It's simply easier to manage your finances.

lol, thank you, I try to be inspirational when I can :)))

Pre-nuptuial agreements.. or am I way ahead of this conversation ? LOL

oops that was meant for moire :))

wroclaw's name was thrown in the quote for some reason... sorry wroclaw :)
you know I still think about doughnuts :) LOL have you brought in any lately?

Moire, now it happens more often that they are financially independent, but it is a strange topic still... It's like you don t belive you will be together for whole life.
I think the best is to discuss honestly with your boyfriend.
POlish boys don' t like when they earn less, but of course if you really love each other it will not be a big problem. Life is strange and thigs are changing. Maybe in 5 years he will earn more. The most important thing is if you love each other

I stole the baby's, yesterday.

Only joking. I haven't had one for ages. The shock would be too great, if I found someone had got to it before me.


If you have your own banking before you meet your partner. Why change it. If you are practical at the begining you shouldn't need a pre-nup.

Then there is my wife's method: What's yours is mine and mines my own.

well, i was thinking more in terms of how the movie stars do it here in America.. lol

I like that :D

sorry moire but from a chinese female's point of view, i strongly feel that this relationship is very one-sided (on your part). i want to be nice and beat around the bush like everyone here has done, but i just can't because you are a chinese "sister" to me and i think if i gave you any more indirect answers to your predicament it would detract you from seeing the sense in calling off this relationship. i come from singapore and singaporean women are very independent (financially, emotionally, etc.) and singaporean men are very accepting of this fact (in fact many of them are appreciative if their wives helped contribute a significant amount to the family income) so i don't identify with some of the things you said about chinese men. by the way i am married to a white man (a non-european), fyi, so don't feel that i am biased against white men!

in your case its not really a question of whether the guy is white, chinese, european or not... at the end of the day, human beings are human beings. if he was really serious about you, he would not be so wishy-washy about your relationship and leaving it all up to you to continue the relationship whilst he puts in a lot lesser than you do.
i'm not saying relationships must be 50-50, but even 40-60 is okay. 30-70 is maybe a bit iffy... but in your case, it seems to be 30-70 or even less. This is a highly one-sided, unbalanced relationship kept going by your intensely passionate feelings for him ...
if you gave up on the phonecalling and the poland trips to meet him, would the relationship still work? i doubt it.

okay to be fair to him, maybe he's not being a "player", maybe he's not feeling ready to make a commitment to you because his view of your relationship is basically Negative - this negativity may stem from him feeling that there's no way it can work out well because he isn't financially able to keep it going, and if he has any backbone of his own, he would not feel right about you being the one who contributes the most to the financial aspects (i.e. the airtickets, the calls, etc.) in order to keep the relationship going. He may actually feel that for him, the ideal relationship would be one where he can contribute equally towards it financially, emotionally, etc. He may feel that an ideal relationship would mean that not only is he and the woman deeply in love with each other, but they must also be physically near each other (i.e. living together or in the same district) AND also that they both can maintain the standard of life that they are each used to living without having to "sacrifice" for each other too much in terms of career and paycheck.

In your case this sounds impossible because if you moved near him to be physically near, you will have to sacrifice your career and/or paycheck or the life you are normally accustomed to. He may not like the sound of this - it may sound strange but I have met guys (asian and european) who think like this.

Yet if you didn't move nearer to him to be physically close, you will retain your usual life and career and paycheck, but your relationship would become sort of "long-distance" and maybe he's not really into this kind of relationship either.

This is my opinion only... but I think you would do better to give him an ultimatum of sorts, let him decide if he's willing to get over some of the reasons that's holding him back from committing to you... Remember you cannot hope to change a man. It is up to him to change if he wants to and up to you to accept it.
and if he's unwilling, well... you can still hope for the best but it will be bad for your heart... after all, is it really healthy for you to go through these emotional rollercoasters with him for the rest of your life until one day he either decides to be with you, or he decides to make a clean break with you? Is it worth whiling your remaining years away for something that may never happen??

Anyway, whatever you choose, I won't criticise...
I just wish you good luck in all you do in the future :-)
If you wanna talk privately please contact me privately via clicking on my profile.

Rachel

Get an Englishman.

That's what I did, and he's the BEST!!!!! ;)

I kinda fancy Irish - donno why

It would seem that he really does love you, he likes to show his feelings through action.. If he's anything like me he won't make any promises that he may not fulfill, so he rather prove himself to you than pour out phrases that could mean a multitude of different things, to different people. Love can be decieving, so, sometimes we like to dig further to reveal the true feelings within, which is great for you and your relationship with him because you need somebody truely in touch with your soul desires.

Please remember some guys only say certain things b/c they feel it's like a way in. Maybe he feels secure enough that he need not say or do certain things b/c he thinks you will not leave him. Don't let him feel any better or more secure about the relationship than you do.

Moire - I've just read this for the first time. Your guy never said he loved you, so when he proposed, did he tell you he loved you then??? I would sincerely hope so! If he did, has he said it since???

If you didn't call him or text him or email him would there be any contact other than MSN???

I sincerely wish you well if this the relationship you want and it works out, you haven't said anything about it since May so I hope that things have changed since then and he is more verbally attentive. If not, then you must find another guy.

if your with me i will tell you that i love you

Awwww ten out of ten for trying.......:)

Stop flirting, Im keeping an eye on you on OR's behalf, Ive bought a hat, or had you forgotten :)

Lol Amathyst........I'm not flirting honestly. I'm being good......:)

Im watching you <points fingers at LIR in an "Im watching you kinda way">

Okay im off behave while Im gone, because I'll be check your posts and reporting back to Mr Future LIR :) !

You are so funny <grin>

Have a nice evening. I must go in a short while as well.............