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Why my Polish girlfriend's mother started to ignore me?


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posts: 76
Rakky
  Nov 10, 07, 10:45  #31

Quoting: svenski64
I have paid for her to go back to poland for detox so I am not to blame!!!

That might be why her Mom is upset. Parents often don't want to be confronted with their children's problems first-hand. Some feel it is an indictment of them that their child isn't "perfect." You put this back in her face, so, since she can't display anger at her daughter, she's displacing it to you.
On the other hand, she might think you're "dumping" her daughter on her, rather than taking care of her yourself. Or maybe she blames YOU for her problem - heaven knows it can't be HER child's fault. My parents always blamed my friends for all of our problems and troubles - again, displacement.
Give it time. The Mom and your girlfriend have a lot to work out between them before you can be brought back into the picture. She's detoxing - it might be time for you to find a support group for yourself. Check with your local Narcotics Anonymous groups to see if they can refer you to a group for friends and families of drug addicts. If you don't take care of yourself, you'll be a lot less useful to her.

 
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_Sofi_ [Guest]
  Nov 10, 07, 10:59  #32

Quoting: svenski64
I have paid for her to go back to poland for detox so I am not to blame!!!

Quoting: svenski64
just a little worried I may have been used

do you mean for your money? And that that might be why your gf's mother is ignoring you? Can you give no more specifics?

Have you tried to see if there are any English speakers at the clinic?

 
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randompal
  Nov 10, 07, 11:05  #33

what a strabge story! what kind of drugs is she taking?

 
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miranda
  Nov 10, 07, 11:30  #34

It would be good if you could visit her there and that way not be dependant on her mother for the info.

 
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svenski64 [Guest]
  Nov 10, 07, 11:46  #35

W
Quoting: randompal
what a strabge story! what kind of drugs is she taking?

The worst kind,heroin and crack,found out today she has discharged herself before treatment finished so she will still be sick in mornings etc.Thankyou to everyone here for their thoughts.

 
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randompal
  Nov 10, 07, 12:35  #36

Quoting: svenski64
The worst kind,heroin and crack

agree, the worst kinds all right...

 
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starchild
  Nov 10, 07, 12:40  #37

Quoting: svenski64
so she will still be sick in mornings etc.


This is an odd thing to say. Being sick in the mornings is the least of her worries and why the morning? What makes you think that is when the withdrawal symptoms kick in? Its not the same as being pregnant.

Like I said, if this is for real, the sickness is the least of your worries as she'll find the most simplest of ways to cure that.

 
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tomekcatkins
  Nov 10, 07, 20:00  #38

Jeez pal! Good luck! You're a really good friend to help her to get off those drugs. - But keep in mind that mostly it's a life sentence. I know stories of former addicts who where clean for some years and then started again. So look good after her in the future!

 
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Patrycja19
  Nov 11, 07, 00:36  #39

Quoting: svenski64
The worst kind,heroin and crack,found out today she has discharged herself before treatment finished so she will still be sick in mornings etc.Thankyou to everyone here for their thoughts.


she might think you have something to do with it, I would try to tell her otherwise,
sometimes assumptions are made. mothers dont like to think that their children are
capable of doing such harm to themselfs and that they brought them up right, so they
tend to blame others.. maybe you need to sit and talk with her. and send her mom
some roses or something like a basket as a peace offering, saying I wish we could go
back in time when she was well.

moms have hearts.. its just hurt right now by all the issues at hand.. very hard issue
so at least that is what I would do.

 
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Mufasa
  Nov 11, 07, 03:57  #40

Quoting: svenski64
The worst kind,heroin and crack,found out today she has discharged herself before treatment finished


You know that the first thing she'll do is go look for a fix, hey?

You obviously love her, but I think you should take Rakky, our favourite mushroom's advice. Go look after yourself, or you'll be desroyed with her.

Quoting: Rakky
She's detoxing - it might be time for you to find a support group for yourself. Check with your local Narcotics Anonymous groups to see if they can refer you to a group for friends and families of drug addicts. If you don't take care of yourself, you'll be a lot less useful to her.


 
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a1makji [Guest]
Edited by: a1makji  Nov 11, 07, 05:03  #41

take the woman to some buddist temple in burma they have efficent tetoxing programs there make you drink beetle juce from worms and flys and crap till you puke up for two weeks non stop monks on a mission

 
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Wroclaw Boy GOLD MEMBER
  Nov 11, 07, 10:35  #42

Quoting: starchild
This is an odd thing to say. Being sick in the mornings is the least of her worries and why the morning? What makes you think that is when the withdrawal symptoms kick in? Its not the same as being pregnant.

I believe Slinsky is referring to cold turkey an extremely uncomfortable sickness which all addicted herion users have to experience when not taking heroin or methadone.

I would suggest keeping your girlfriend in Poland as long as possible, of course hard drugs exist here but from what i know there not that easy to get a hold of. It seems that everyman and his dog is selling cocaine or harder drugs in the UK these days.

-
USA the land of oppotunity... Prove it vote Obama!

 
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starchild
Edited by: starchild  Nov 11, 07, 10:44  #43

I know exactly what he was refering to, but to me, the way he put 'being sick in the morning etc' makes me think he doesn't really know anything about heroin addiction.

Thats what I meant. I am sceptical. It sounds like someone speaking who has only seen an addict going cold turkey on the TV or in films. Anyone who has witnessed first hand, ie been with them day and night, an addict going cold turkey will know that its not a morning thing. Watching someone go cold turkey is harrowing.

Edit.. sorry if that sounds like I'm biting your head off Wroclaw boy! I just don't quite believe this thread and it's touching a raw nerve for me.

 
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svenski64 [Guest]
  Nov 11, 07, 12:45  #44

Starchild,I witnessed this for 3 weeks on a daily basis,physically sick,shaking,cold,pale,unable to stand up without a "fix" 1st,so please dont insult me

 
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starchild
  Nov 11, 07, 13:18  #45

I'm not insulting you, but you need to read what you have written.

Three weeks is nothing... come back in ten years and tell me how you feel then. I'm serious.

I can tell you that every day I fear that phone call.. every single day

All I am saying is if you are for real and this is the situation for your gf then I would be far more worried if she will still be here tomorrow than whether she's sick in the morning. Honestly, this is what I have worried about every day for ten years.

 
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Wroclaw Boy GOLD MEMBER
  Nov 16, 07, 09:07  #46

Quoting: starchild
Thats what I meant. I am sceptical. It sounds like someone speaking who has only seen an addict going cold turkey on the TV or in films. Anyone who has witnessed first hand, ie been with them day and night, an addict going cold turkey will know that its not a morning thing. Watching someone go cold turkey is harrowing.

No: 1 award for i aint got a clue what im talking about.

-
USA the land of oppotunity... Prove it vote Obama!

 
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southern
Edited by: southern  Nov 16, 07, 09:19  #47

Maybe you did not kiss her as good as her daughter.

 
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starchild
  Nov 16, 07, 11:19  #48

Quoting: Wroclaw Boy
No: 1 award for i aint got a clue what im talking about


Are you suggesting I don't know what I'm talking about? If you are, then you truly are a fool.

Ask the creator of this thread if I know what I'm talking about or not, you pr*ck!

 
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Wroclaw Boy GOLD MEMBER
  Nov 16, 07, 11:24  #49

Quoting: starchild
Are you suggesting I don't know what I'm talking about? If you are, then you truly are a fool.

Ahh yeh I think I am, what do you know? lets have it

-
USA the land of oppotunity... Prove it vote Obama!

 
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starchild
  Nov 16, 07, 11:25  #50

I'm not going to take the bait.

 
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Wroclaw Boy GOLD MEMBER
  Nov 16, 07, 11:28  #51

If you know what you are talking about you would say. All you can say is that you have worried about something for 10 years. Thats it what experience do you have with drug addicts other than they dont experience morning sickness, in your own words.

-
USA the land of oppotunity... Prove it vote Obama!

 
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starchild
  Nov 16, 07, 11:29  #52

My comments were to the author of this thread and we have discussed it at length, but not on this thread.

If you feel that you need to throw insults and b*tchy comments at someone, then fine, why not give it to me? Someone's gonna get it so it may as well be me.

 
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southern
Edited by: southern  Nov 16, 07, 12:45  #53

Morning sickness is a typical symptom of pregnancy.It is not a symptom of heroin withdrawal.In the latter symptoms appear usually in evening starting about 24 hours after last dose and peaking after 3 days.

 
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covkid65
  Nov 16, 07, 12:50  #54

Message to southern...she aint pregnant!!And message to wroclaw boy,Starchild KNOWS what she is talking about,end of!

 
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southern
Edited by: southern  Nov 16, 07, 12:54  #55

I will read the whole topic.

 
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southern
  Nov 16, 07, 13:00  #56

You should have noticed the injection marks on her hands and legs.Unless she sniffs heroin.The best is to get her methadone through rehabilitation programm and check her for hepatitis,HIV.

 
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covkid65
  Nov 16, 07, 13:01  #57

I should have been a little more specific about "morning sickness".I was referring to when she wakes,be it morning,afternoon or evening,after sleeping for up to 24 hours without "chasing the dragon" she has shakes,shivers,cant move and physically sick-only feels better after a fix.....she is trying to get help but we both realise its an uphill task and not a short term thing.

 
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covkid65
  Nov 16, 07, 13:03  #58

she DOES NOT inject-I can guaruntee that,maybe a common misconception about heroin use,she smokes it only from silver foil

 
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southern
  Nov 16, 07, 13:06  #59

Chasing the dragon is one of the most powerful addiction routes.Withdrawal symptoms can be very severe in this case.

 
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covkid65
  Nov 16, 07, 13:07  #60

so it seems :(

 
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