Quoting: Rfx
However, again, you seem to think I or other men first look at sexualism and THEN at the other values of a woman. It's not what I'm trying to say. In other words, when a I meet a woman for the first time, I look at her in a physical way -- how else can I look at her? Do you mean I should first read her mind and after getting to know her mentally, I should look at her physically? It's not possible I think...
I see what you mean, but I think that you're confusing two ideas here. Looking at someone is not possible in any other then physical way, did I make you think otherwise? But what is it that you are looking for or at when you look at a woman? If it's her sexual attributes then you're lost, but it's also possible to look at a woman (and man) with a sense of respect, which assigns her some value based on her behavior, thinking abilities, creativity, self-confidence, compatibility with your values, etc. I'm not saying that you should fall in love with an ugly bitch because she can draw well. Taking care of our appearence is very important and our responsibility, but looking like a whore and liking it, is where you crossed the line. Again, we learned from our society to be attracted to certain characteristics in men and women. It is not abnormal to like a pretty face, but what you do with this is what matters. If you start fantasizing and getting aroused, then you're not in control of yourself, but if you just ignore it because that person didn't look appealing in meaningful ways, then you're in control and showing respect both to yourself and other people.