Polish Parents Canada; they still treat me like a child.

Hi
I am having difficulty communicating with my Polish parents. They are very old fashioned and I was raised in the modern society of Canada. I am an only child which makes things alot more complicated. What prompted me to write on this forum is I recently met an Australia bloke in Canada and we want to move and start our life in Australia.

My parents are completely against it. They think because they struggled with their migration from Poland to Canada I will do the same. However the only different is there are no language barriers, education restrictions or economic/political hardships. I know I will be fine but I cannot seem to get that through their heads. Dont get me wrong it wont be easy. But they are set in their ways and will not stop comparing their struggle to my adventure. I see life on a different level. All they care about is what people will think and what material things I will loose when I leave.
They still treat me as a child and do not believe I can make my own decisions and mistakes. I am 26 years old and I feel like I am living under my polish parents spell.

Any advice?

Well, I don`t think moving to cangarooland with an aussie bloke that you`ve just met is a good idea.. So your parents are probably right.

There are more differences between their emigration and yours. The most important, I think, is that for them there was no way back. If I were you, I'd explain that they made their decision and now it is time for you to make yours.

If such reasoning doesn't appeal to them, try changing the name for your adventure. Instead of "start a life in Australia", try "travelling" or "gaining new cultural and professional experiences" ect. Then the argument "what people will say" will collapse - you haven't migrated (negative), you're travelling (positive).

I did the same thing with my parents. Worked. Keep my fingers crossed for you.

b

BTW - in the last of cases you may tell them you're going, whether they approve of it or not, and give them a hint that it'll be better if they help you than you go on your own.

To clarify the Aussie Bloke is my boyfriend and we have lived together over a year. Therefore this is loving relationship.

To add more to the story my boyfriend dad is canadian and his mom is Australian and they have lived in both countries and support us fully. They know its not easy but they understand and support our decision.

Bossie. Thank you for your reply. I have explained to them that I can always come back. But they have responded "well then you have just wasted a year..why go". I tell them no, because my job will be on a leave of absence basis and I can always return. My parents are very polish and they always thought that I would have a little family, live across the street from them and bring the grandchildren over for them to spoil. But I want to live my life and make my own decision and choices. They are very pig headed and if I dont do it there way its not the right way.

I am keeping my fingers crossed too. Its not going to be easy. Bossie, where did you move from and to?

Karolina

Australia Bound. This is your life!! You have to make your own decissions in life. If others keep telling you what to do all your life, you will be like a vegetable. It it better to make your own decissions in life and fail than to let others do the thinking for you.
You do what your heart tells you to do. Stand strong. Do not let others make decissions for you! Even if they are your parents. That is the only way YOU will be happy. Your parents will adjust to it. Someday...