African girl from USA dating a polish guy needs advice

barbie

Aug 5, 06, 09:23 #1

Hi,
I am an African girl in USA who is dating a polish guy. I am confused sometimes though: he might move back to poland soon (visa etc.) and he makes comments like it would be difficult for us to be together in poland because of racism. Is that really a big problem in Wroclaw? Also what is my role supposed to be: he has been my best friend and has been asking me out for about three years and I have always said "No." Now that we are dating he acts strange and doesn't call as often as before (maybe I expect him to call more now). Anyway, when he calls and I ignore him sometimes for 1 or 2 days, then he freaks out and calls over and over talking about how he feels empty, etc. I don't mean to stereotype, but do polish men have an issue with control? How do they want a woman to act ? Please give me some advise on how to deal with this situation. Thanks

FISZThreads: 31 Posts: 2,607 Joined: Jun 14, 06 ♂	Aug 5, 06, 09:57 #2
From what I understand some PL guy's have a control problem. I can't speak for all though. Also, If you meant that much to him he'd want to be with you no matter where you lived. If you aren't worth it to him, why should he be worth it to you?

mmm

Aug 5, 06, 11:26 #3

I think he may feel a little strange when he realized he could live with you in Poland, some people would look at him and you in a strange way (Wroclaw is sort of a big city for Poland, but it's still the suburbs of Europe). I think he loves you and is afraid to lose you -- but on the other hand he's afraid of "what other people will say". Give it some time and talk to him sincerely - talk about issues he or you might have. Maybe go for some time to Poland with him on vacations to see how it'll be like.

brelnis	Aug 9, 06, 20:23 #4
lol , an african girl with a polish guy? , lol that's so weird! , most of the africans(blacks) hate whites(polish). anyways good luck ! , i'm trying to hook myself with a polish guy but i guess they are too slow .he doesn't ask me out , but he told me he likes me. and it's sux. if someday you get married witth him ur baby is going to look pretty cute!

optsThreads: 12 Posts: 333 Joined: Jul 29, 06 ♂	Edited by: opts Aug 9, 06, 22:33 #5
On a flight to Poland, I saw a Polish guy with a black wife. While living in Las Vegas, I met a Polish guy who was married to a black woman. "most of the africans(blacks) hate whites(polish)” sounds like a racist statement. African girl go for it. You will encounter resentment. It will come from people who are limited. :)

Shelley	Aug 14, 06, 09:18 #6
Quoting: brelnis, Post #4 i'm trying to hook myself with a polish guy but i guess they are too slow I wouldnt say they're slow, they just like to be sure that they actually like someone before they ask - and if he's not asking then maybe he's not interested.

Wujek_Dobra_Rada

Edited by: Wujek_Dobra_Rada Aug 14, 06, 09:54 #7

<div class="quoting">Quoting: brelnis, Post #4

lol , an african girl with a polish guy? , lol that's so weird! , most of the africans(blacks) hate whites(polish). anyways good luck ! , i'm trying to hook myself with a polish guy but i guess they are too slow .he doesn't ask me out , but he told me he likes me. and it's sux. if someday you get married with him ur baby is going to look pretty cute!</div>

Why is it wierd ?

In 1920 many Polish black volunteers, who were the children of Polish-African couples took part in the Polish-Soviet war.

guess who	Aug 14, 06, 14:49 #8
Brenlis, I am a Pole and have seen foxy looking black girls. Girls I would like to go out with. If you are wondering, I was born in Poland. I am not Polish-American

krysiaThreads: 26 Posts: 3,604 Joined: Aug 10, 06 ♀	Aug 14, 06, 19:37 #9
Yup, as usual, Wujek got that from the internet.

Wujek_Dobra_Rada	Edited by: Wujek_Dobra_Rada Aug 15, 06, 05:06 #10
Quoting: krysia, Post #9 Yup, as usual, Wujek got that from the internet. And the problem here is.. ? From where should I take that photo - from a book ?

krysiaThreads: 26 Posts: 3,604 Joined: Aug 10, 06 ♀	Aug 15, 06, 08:24 #11
Do you know what a book is?

Wujek_Dobra_Rada	Aug 15, 06, 08:52 #12
Quoting: krysia, Post #11 Do you know what a book is? Yes I know what a book is, yet I fail to see what`s wrong with posting photos out of the Internet.

alana84	Sep 28, 06, 21:40 #13
weird?...maybe a bit for people who live in Poland and who are traditional. but in Canada, it would not be looked at twice. This crossed my mind as well. I wondered if people were accepting of interacial relationships in Poland? I am South American and I attracted a polish man.

krysiaThreads: 26 Posts: 3,604 Joined: Aug 10, 06 ♀	Sep 28, 06, 21:50 #14
Poland is changing. I've seen several black/white couples and people seemed Ok with that.

alana84	Sep 28, 06, 21:52 #15
interesting the younger generation are changing i guess

krysiaThreads: 26 Posts: 3,604 Joined: Aug 10, 06 ♀	Sep 28, 06, 21:55 #16
The older people are set in their ways and the younger ones accept the change more eagerly.

♀

Sep 28, 06, 23:42 #17

Quoting: barbie, Post #1

Hi,
I am an African girl in USA who is dating a polish guy. I am confused sometimes though: he might move back to poland soon (visa etc.) and he makes comments like it would be difficult for us to be together in poland because of racism. Is that really a big problem in Wroclaw? Also what is my role supposed to be: he has been my best friend and has been asking me out for about three years and I have always said "No." Now that we are dating he acts strange and doesn't call as often as before (maybe I expect him to call more now). Anyway, when he calls and I ignore him sometimes for 1 or 2 days, then he freaks out and calls over and over talking about how he feels empty, etc. I don't mean to stereotype, but do polish men have an issue with control? How do they want a woman to act ? Please give me some advise on how to deal with this situation. Thanks

first of all, you need to talk to HIM, explain how you feel, what bothers you... etc. people in this forum don't know him, and reasons for his behavior. have an honest and open conversation with him and demand honest answers from him. if what he says doesn't make sense, question it and if you don't like his thinking and behavior, don't force such a relationship to work. you must feel good in a relationship and not uncertain and always unclear about what he's thinking.

OnyxPolska	Dec 4, 06, 04:48 #18
Hi, here's my dilemma. I'm infatuated by a girl called Krysia (actually, you may all know her) and have grown to love her acerbic wit. I'd love to ask her out on beautiful Parisian date, but I'm not sure whether a.) She'd consider me to be another online web weirdo b.) She'd never think about dating a black guy (yes, I am) c.) Both a and b..! Anybody help...?

krysiaThreads: 26 Posts: 3,604 Joined: Aug 10, 06 ♀	Edited by: krysia Dec 4, 06, 09:26 #19
Krysia? I don't know any Krysia... Never heard of one.

FISZThreads: 31 Posts: 2,607 Joined: Jun 14, 06 ♂	Dec 4, 06, 09:30 #20
I've never heard of a Krysia either. Maybe you have the wrong forum.

sledzThreads: 29 Posts: 3,202 Joined: Sep 19, 06 ♂	Dec 4, 06, 13:36 #21
The name sounds kinda familiar... I think she went to Paris

PolskiweedThreads: 2 Posts: 10 Joined: Mar 29, 10 ♂	Mar 29, 10, 07:20 #22
man im sorry. but there are a lot of racist people in Poland. Especially in Warsaw and Wroclaw. im from Wroclaw. but i do like black people. sorry but yeahh just telling you that a lot of people down here are racist. not to half black half white people tho :o

agp221Threads: 1 Posts: 2 Joined: Mar 27, 10 ♀	Mar 29, 10, 20:39 #23
Ha ha, there we go...Finaly someone say it "HERE IS TONS OF RACIST". It's need to change two generations in European Union to change people mind.LOL!

aphrodisiacThreads: 22 Posts: 3,998 Joined: Apr 15, 09 ♀	Mar 29, 10, 20:43 #24
agp221: Ha ha, there we go...Finaly someone say it "HERE IS TONS OF RACIST". It's need to change two generations in European Union to change people mind.LOL! you are very optimistic;)

♀

Edited by: prettycocokitty Oct 3, 10, 00:56 #25

Hello African girl,

I am a Black American young woman and dating a Polish young man.
He is a wonderful person and treats me very well with compassion and respect.
He is different from your guy because he speaks his mind, likes to get his point across and does not like to play games. He is a little controling-but not in an abusive way, just like any regular guy who is in love. He's a strait up kind of guy, does what he wants to do and not what people tell him. And more Americanized since he's lived in America for some years, and is familiar and experienced of different cultures and ways of different people.

However, he's told me Poland can be very racist depending on the area and some of the people, but not everyone is like that, but If your guy is planning on leaving to Poland and not speaking of marriage or any definite ways for you two to stay together then I dont think it's worth it. Some people rather follow tradition than their heart-even if it makes them unhappy.

Poland does have a somewhat racist tradition when it comes to interracial relationships, but this can be found world wide-and has not stop anyone else who is seriously loving whom they choose regardless of color, ethnicity or race. From the beginning of time and still now ongoing,
so that's not an excuse.

If my guy ever moved to poland, I dont think I would go to Poland with him, but we have talked about this and of options for us to stay together optimistically.

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,786 Joined: Feb 26, 09 ♂	Oct 3, 10, 01:02 #26
prettycocokitty”? why not prettykittykelly ?:)

...	Oct 3, 10, 04:14 #27
Because she is cocoa prettycocokitty This thread is from 2006

richasisThreads: 5 Posts: 833 Joined: Jul 25, 09 ♂	Oct 3, 10, 04:27 #28
prettycocokitty: but this can be found world wide Racism and Ghetto Behavior?

...	Oct 3, 10, 04:38 #29
Both.

Niuniek	Jul 27, 11, 21:46 #30
Cultural clash NEVER works. It's better to keep both separate for individuals and countries so much different

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