Amount of money for gift?

Guest

Dec 11, 11, 03:50 #1

Guys I have a girlfriend in Poland that I want to send a card with some money in it so she can buy her own Christmas gift. Is Zl. 100 enough? That's about $20 here, which is barely enough to buy a couple of pizzas. I don't want to offend her by sending a small amount, although here $20 is considered a pretty good amount for a gift for a friend. Also, I've heard it said money is a bad gift because there is no thought behind it, but I like to get money so I can buy what I actually want or need. Also I've already sent her two nice gifts this year for other occasions. Thanks!

Gruffi_GummiThreads: 1 Posts: 167 Joined: Jul 2, 11 ♂	Dec 11, 11, 04:33 #2
Personally, I wouldn't offer money, regardless of the amount.

amcapolThreads: - Posts: 12 Joined: Dec 6, 11 ♀	Dec 11, 11, 04:53 #3
Sounds to me you like her as much as you like a couple of pizzas. She would be better off alone.

wielki panThreads: 3 Posts: 278 Joined: Jan 7, 11 ♂	Dec 11, 11, 05:56 #4
amcapol: Sounds to me you like her as much as you like a couple of pizzas. good point. suggest 1000zl plus....

reply

Dec 11, 11, 06:23 #5

Wow, thanks. No wonder so many people hate Poles. Like I said, 20 dollars is not a lot here, but it's generally considered a good amount to spend on a gift. 1000 zl is like 300 dollars- I make less than that in two weeks of working part-time while I'm in college. I make 7 dollars an hour. I'm not sure you have a realistic view of what life is like in America. Most people don't make much money unless they happen to be the CEO of some company, and things like food and utilities are very expensive compared to Poland. Maybe I should move to Poland so I can be as wealthy as you obviously are.

reply	Dec 11, 11, 06:30 #6
Seriously, ** you. Maybe I am better off without HER. Because if she's anything like you, she's probably a greedy, rude *. Poland and ** Polaks.

irishbornThreads: 4 Posts: 14 Joined: Sep 23, 08 ♂	Dec 11, 11, 08:45 #7
relax guys, it is a sunday afterall

Gordo

Dec 11, 11, 08:56 #8

I asked a question earlier, about how much money to send to a friend as a Christmas gift. Both replies I got were rude, one extremely rude telling me that the girl I was gifting would be better off without me as a friend, because I was thinking of sending 100 zlotys. She, and another person, suggested that I send 1000 zlotys instead. 1000 zlotys is like $300- more than I make in two weeks working part time while I'm in college. Nobody in my part of America that I know would even spend that much on a family member, let alone a friend in another country. It takes me a lot of work to earn that much money. I don't know if they think everyone in America is rich, or what, but things are very expensive here. I've been to Poland, I know what things there cost. When I was there, a loaf of bread was $0.25. Here it's $3.00. When I was there, a bottle of beer (pint) was $1. Here it's $5 for 12 ounces. When I was there, I asked a friend how much his (small but nice) apartment cost, and he said it was 800 zlotys a month. Hell, my rent is $425 a month. So basically these people were suggesting that if I was a real friend, I'd pay a month's rent to my friend for Christmas.

Are all Polaks as greedy and rude as these people? Because this friend wants to come to America, and I am starting to think that, if she is like the ones who answered my question, I don't want her here. In fact she works at a bank and wants to be a financial consultant, and now I notice that in all her emails, she seems to talk about that, and money, a lot. I don't want some greedy chick coming here and living in my home if all she is a rude, greedy person like the ones who responded to me.

Gruffi_GummiThreads: 1 Posts: 167 Joined: Jul 2, 11 ♂	Dec 11, 11, 09:13 #9
Imagine that I have an American gf, and am sending her a Christmas card with a $20 bill tucked in... This would be a very short-lived relationship.

♂

Edited by: Gruffi_Gummi Dec 11, 11, 09:30 #10

1. A friend or a girlfriend?
A small, nice gift worth $20 (but not money!) is appropriate for a friend. But if you are talking about a relationship, then sending a $20 bill would be rather rude, especially considering the undertones present in you post (and that's why you got these replies).

2. If she is a girlfriend, then an acceptable minimum is a $50 gift card. If you don't have money, it's also ok to shop around for something inexpensive, but nice and unique (for me, a silver Navajo bracelet bought at Four Corners worked like a charm). Generally, don't expect that a "Polack" girlfriend (as you nicely called her) would have different expectations than an American one.

3. Women are expensive. This is a fact of life. Get over it. TANSTAAFL, and "you get what you pay for" apply. :)

♂

Dec 11, 11, 10:01 #11

Gordo, the replies weren't rude, they were honest. You were the rude one saying *** you.

Gruffi has good advice for you. If she is your girlfriend, you'd spend enough money on her that it actually cost you something. The key is to not give her a gift that makes it look like you only earn $7 an hour. Forget about zlotys: Polish girls aren't third-world wannabees looking for a sugardaddy from the west. If you are wanting advice about how much YOU should spend, ask your friends.

Gordo

Dec 11, 11, 10:03 #12

A girlfriend. I have already sent her one very expensive gift this year, no occasion just because (it was a really nice kachina doll) - very expensive for me and to top it off shipping alone was $25. Then I sent her a smaller gift a couple of months ago, worth about $10. This time I wanted to send money so she can choose what to get for herself. She has already told me that Christmas is more about Christ for her and I feel the same way, so I thought $20 would be fine. I asked her for an Opłatek wafer and nothing more. And isn't "Polak" the proper Polish word for "Pole"? Myślę, że jest, ale już nie mówię dobrze po polsku- uczę się.

Gordo	Dec 11, 11, 10:09 #13
dr_rabbit, she knows how much money I make- why would I try to lie to her or mislead her in any way? And as I've said I have been to Poland, which is where we met- I know they are not "third-world wannabes". All I wanted to know (originally) was if 100 zlotys would be enough to buy something decent in Poland.

dr_rabbitThreads: 3 Posts: 77 Joined: Aug 8, 09 ♂	Dec 11, 11, 10:12 #14
Polak generally loses its traditionalness if its used in conjunction with fu<k and bit<h. Just like most derogatory words (such as the spanish word for black person), its offense comes from context and not from origin. If money isn't important, don't make it about money.

irishbornThreads: 4 Posts: 14 Joined: Sep 23, 08 ♂	Dec 11, 11, 10:14 #15
100 zl would be nice Gordo stop whinging

Gordo	Dec 11, 11, 10:18 #16
Well, that chick was a bit<h. Just 'being honest'.

♂

Dec 11, 11, 10:18 #17

100 zl will not buy something spectacular in Poland, but certainly something. Poland isn't that cheap anymore. BTW, 100 zl is $30 USD. Quite a bit of that will be used up when she exchanges it in fees or whatever.

Did you meet her in Poland 10 years ago and she's still your girlfriend (reading your other posts? If so I would imagine our advice is pretty useless.

If you think she's open to receiving money (you would know), I'd say $50 at least. But if she's been your girlfriend by correspondence for 10 years I'd imagine you'd know by now.

Gordo

Dec 11, 11, 10:25 #18

Thanks for a straightforward answer, Irish. Not sure what whinging is, though. My mom is Irish descent, but I'm not familiar with you guys' slang. And as far as "polaków" go, I honestly can't tell now if they were being nice or not when I was there. It's like in the movies when you go to France and the waiter is speaking French and smiling real friendly, but in actuality saying, ***** you, American piece of *****" I just kind of get that vibe after asking one question on this forum and getting nothing but, "she is better off without you if you don't buy her a 30 inch plasma television" (Seriously I just looked it up you can get a plasma TV for 1000 zlotys in Poland).

Gordo

Dec 11, 11, 10:30 #19

I met her ten years ago, yes, but we never corresponded afterward. She found me on Facebook in March this year, after all that time. I was quite surprised, because I really did kind of fall in love with her when I was there, and tried to find her for a long time once I got back. Never forgot about her. But no, we don't really know each other well yet. There is the language barrier, obviously- I'm trying to learn in my free time (I take 15 credit hours a semester so I have a lot of other studies, too) and she really doesn't want to learn English.

a.k.

Dec 11, 11, 10:31 #20

Gordo:

and another person, suggested that I send 1000 zlotys instead.

Someone was poking fun on you and you didn't get the joke.
It's a great blunder to send money as a gift. I guess not only in Poland but probably in the USA you will also find it weird, won't you?

Gordo:

Because this friend wants to come to America, and I am starting to think that, if she is like the ones who answered my question, I don't want her here.

Gordo:

A girlfriend.

What kind of girlfriend is she for you if you didn't even meet her yet? Don't tell me that you met her on a chatting site and fell in love...

Gordo:

Polaks

Are you aware that's offensive?

Gordo:

In fact she works at a bank and wants to be a financial consultant, and now I notice that in all her emails, she seems to talk about that, and money, a lot.

Then no wonder she talks about money... hey, it's her job! :)

Gordo:

greedy person like the ones who responded to me.

How do you know they are Polish?

Gordo:

very expensive for me and to top it off shipping alone was $25. Then I sent her a smaller gift a couple of months ago, worth about $10. This time I wanted to send money so she can choose what to get for herself.

Why do you send expensive gifts to some stranger?

Gordo:

She has already told me that Christmas is more about Christ for her

That means she doesn't want any gifts...

Gordo:

And isn't "Polak" the proper Polish word for "Pole"?

Not in English.

I can't help myself quoting your post from the previous thread:

reply:

Seriously, **** you. Maybe I am better off without HER. Because if she's anything like you, she's probably a greedy, rude *****. **** Poland and **** Polaks.

reply:

Wow, thanks. No wonder so many people hate Poles.

Is everything alright with you? Are you an Internet troll? The whole situation you sketched and your outburst is so unreal and surrealistic that I can't believe that you are actually serious. If that's what is your approach to Polish people:

reply:

Wow, thanks. No wonder so many people hate Poles.

, then, yes, it is good idea to break the "relationship".

Gordo	Dec 11, 11, 10:37 #21
To each his own I guess. Around these parts, there is nothing at all wrong with giving money. Saves time exchanging and regifting. We believe people should be able to get what they want, not what someone else thinks they want. Eh, anyways it's very late, I'm done studying for finals tonite, and I have to get up early tomorrow. This morning, I mean.

♂

Dec 11, 11, 10:39 #22

Gordo
"she really doesn't want to learn English"

When you put information into a public forum you get unsolicited advice ;)

- Her banking career will go nowhere if she is not open to learning foreign languages

- Polish is very difficult. If you want to move to Poland to be with her, you will need very good Polish. My Polish is *good*, but still terrible, so we live in my country. If she doesn't want to learn languages, you have one option: move to Poland.

- Poland is not cheap. Your $7 an hour job will not allow you to save up enough money to live somewhere in Poland. You will likely need at least $1000 per month to live in Poland, and more like $2000 if you want to live in a nice-ish place in Warsaw. Even then, people happily spend over $4000 a month living in Poland You can subtract any net income you might be able to make from that, of course, but good luck with that.

You sound like you are not in the position of having already built a great career: did you meet her when you were a teenager?

a.k.

Dec 11, 11, 10:49 #23

Gordo:

I met her ten years ago, yes, but we never corresponded afterward. She found me on Facebook in March this year, after all that time. I was quite surprised, because I really did kind of fall in love with her when I was there, and tried to find her for a long time once I got back. Never forgot about her. But no, we don't really know each other well yet.

If you don't know the person you are just a pair of acquaintances, therefore any exepnsive gifts are absolutely not welcomed here. Actually you even don't have to send any gifts.

Gordo:

It's like in the movies when you go to France and the waiter is speaking French and smiling real friendly, but in actuality saying, ***** you, American piece of *****" I just kind of get that vibe after asking one question on this forum and getting nothing but

Try to behave like an emotionally balanced person, ok? No one was rude to you here. You provoked a slightly sarcistic response by comparing the gift you wanna send to couple of pizzas:

Guest:

That's about $20 here, which is barely enough to buy a couple of pizzas.

And yes, she'd be:

amcapol:

better off alone.

if you are calling her names in the next post.

Gordo

Dec 11, 11, 10:51 #24

a.k., who the hell asked you? But to answer

"Someone was poking fun on you and you didn't get the joke."

Um, no. It was not a joke.

"What kind of girlfriend is she for you if you didn't even meet her yet? Don't tell me that you met her on a chatting site and fell in love..."

I have met her, in real life, what makes you assume I haven't?

"Are you aware that's offensive?"

Like being called an American is offensive to an American???

"Then no wonder she talks about money... hey, it's her job! :)"

Can't argue with that...

"How do you know they are Polish?"

Because I'm on a Polish forum asking about Polish people???

"Why do you send expensive gifts to some stranger?"

Because she isn't a 'stranger' per se, but someone I knew briefly, always wanted to get back in contact with, and then miraculously did ten years later.

"That means she doesn't want any gifts..."

If she isn't expecting a gift then how is it rude to slip some cash into her card??

"Not in English."

It's NOT in English, it is quite clearly in POLISH.

"The whole situation you sketched and your outburst is so unreal and surrealistic that I can't believe that you are actually serious."

That's because you know absolutely nothing about me or my situation and yet you are sticking your ******* nose into it as though you are someone whose opinion I should give a **** about!!!!!!

Gordo

Dec 11, 11, 10:59 #25

yes rabbit, I was a teen. Seriously it is that expensive to live in Poland? Jesus I've been lied to my whole life by American employers. Well I study electronics engineering and computer science, double major, so I'm really not too worried about a career when I get my degree, anyways. I wouldn't mind living there it was beautiful. And yah polish is difficult, but I can learn programming languages so I don't see why I can't learn Polish. Anyways serious this time I'm going to bed. Not even going respond to that other dude. Don't care what he thinks.

♂

Dec 11, 11, 10:59 #26

Gordo, this is the internet.

Gordo:

a.k., who the hell asked you? But to answer

you did, by posting here.

Gordo:

That's because you know absolutely nothing about me or my situation and yet you are sticking your ******* nose into it as though you are someone whose opinion I should give a **** about!!!!!!

as above.

Also, facebook is hardly a miracle!

--------------

Regarding the makeup of this forum, it is dominated by Polish-Americans, and anglophone men who are involved in some sort of tortuous relationship with either a Polish woman, a Polish city, or both, with the occasional real pole providing us with some measured perspective now an then.

a.k.

Dec 11, 11, 11:09 #27

Gordo:

"Someone was poking fun on you and you didn't get the joke."

Um, no. It was not a joke.

It was a joke. Believe me.

Gordo:

what makes you assume I haven't?

That you don't know her character.

Gordo:

Like being called an American is offensive to an American???

Check an English dictionary, is there a word "Polak"?

Gordo:

Because I'm on a Polish forum asking about Polish people???

No. You're on an English language forum about Poland. Most users here are: foreigners who live in Poland, people of Polish descent, people who are in relationeship with a Pole.

Gordo:

but someone I knew briefly, always wanted to get back in contact with, and then miraculously did ten years later.

It means she is a stranger for you. 10 years ago a brief acquaintance... it's certainly not a situation to send any gifts.

Gordo:

If she isn't expecting a gift then how is it rude to slip some cash into her card??

It's weird.
It looks that you don't treat her as an independent woman who earns for herself (maybe that's why she talks about money and her good job a lot). Some people would judge it that you are a rich foreigner who tries to buy a woman.
But I think that she might think sending her gifts by you is a cultural difference, so maybe she doesn't take it too hard and is trying delicately suggest you that she doesn't need any gifts from you.

Gordo:

That's because you know absolutely nothing about me or my situation and yet you are sticking your ******* nose into it as though you are someone whose opinion I should give a **** about!!!!!!

I thought you asked for that?
Are all Americans so aggresive?

♂ [Suspended]

Dec 11, 11, 11:51 #28

Gordo, I dont know where are you from but your culture are polite enough? Im not polish but I would like to say something about them, they are most polite and good european for me, west european for me so fake, they act fake, but central or eastern european not like that, specialy polish people are so polite so respect I love them, if you know about them more, you will like so much, I think they are most honest,franky,properly,warm people.

MEMBER ♀

Dec 11, 11, 12:13 #29

Gordo:

To each his own I guess. Around these parts, there is nothing at all wrong with giving money.

One does not send money in Poland exept "to help" someone in "the need".

It is not viewed as romantic at all, better send her a box of chocolates like Hershey's kisses or something (A book , a cd) you order on Merlin.pl( the local AMAZON) and it can be sent to her, i am sure she will appreciate the gesture.
But Money, no unless as i said she is desperate financially or a hooker...

a.k.	Dec 11, 11, 12:21 #30
Gordo: slip some cash into her card Oh you meant you want to send her a cash? Instead of a gift a cash? That would be a great blunder.

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