Is my bf using me to up his self confidence?

Allison

May 24, 10, 08:34 #1

He is a pretty good looking guy. he always says he is not sure whether he is in love with me or not and then comes back and says he loves me and wants to make love. I tell him it is frustrating and to make up his mind because it is hurting me and I want him to leave me alone if he doesn't care for me. He comes up with all of these wack conspiracy theories and expects me to believe every single word and when I don't he says, "Why don't you trust me?" Sometimes he is very nice and pleasant to be around but he has his ups and downs. He also asks me what I would do for him if we were married and he makes me recite that I will Cook all of his meals, clean the house, have sex with him every night, and think whatever he wants me to think? I mean we both kind of laugh at that and I think he's just kidding around but mayeb not? He has never had a gf before, due to the lack of women up in NH (some of the ugliest women there apparently) and I wonder if he is using me to feel better about himself. He makes me feel like I am 10 years old and it is frustrating. We are both 17.

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07 ♂	May 24, 10, 09:13 #2
have you ever been to NH? hmm Allison: Is my bf using me to up his self confidence seems that way but at 17 boys are horndogs and girls in general are much more mature.. i think you shouldn't worry about it too much.. go to collage where you will meet so many new people that you will forget about this guy..

richasisThreads: 5 Posts: 833 Joined: Jul 25, 09 ♂	May 24, 10, 10:45 #3
plk123: go to collage where you will meet so many new people that you will forget about this guy.. IMO, this is excellent advice. When you do it, I'm sure you'll thank plk123 :)

SzwedwPolsceThreads: 13 Posts: 1,915 Joined: Feb 21, 09 ♂	May 25, 10, 22:12 #4
The typical on/off-type. A bad choice. He will never play by any other rules than his own.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	May 25, 10, 22:26 #5
Allison: He is a pretty good looking guy. he is insecure, has no idea about relationships, and it seems is too young for you. but off course, what do i know.

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Edited by: pgtx May 25, 10, 22:29 #6
Allison: We are both 17. aren't you too young to have sex? plk123: have you ever been to NH? hmm Nowa Huta? ;) SzwedwPolsce: He will never play by any other rules than his own. hehe.... he's only 17!!!!

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07 ♂	May 25, 10, 22:30 #7
pgtx: Nowa Huta? oh.. maybe that.. lol

Allison

Edited by: Allison May 25, 10, 22:36 #8

SzwedwPolsce:

The typical on/off-type. A bad choice. He will never play by any other rules than his own.

I think he may be bipolar or something. There is something wrong in his head. I just wouldn't be able deal with his "ups and downs". When your in a close relationship with someone like that its like your having them too. He's good otherwise though. I'm not going to go tell him to get help though, he'll chew me out.

♂

May 25, 10, 22:44 #9

Allison:

There is something wrong in his head.

Why don't you find yourself another boyfriend? As I remember, you're a rather goodlooking girl, it shouldn't be a problem for you to find a nice and good lad out there who doesn't give you all the trouble your current bf does. But then again, I've always had a tendency to rationalise things like this. It's up to you, but in general boys of 17 don't really know what they want. Girls at that age are more mature, for some reason. I think his behaviour will pass, come time, but you have to ask yourself if you're willing to wait for that to happen as it could take years and years and some men never grow up.

>^..^<

M-G (M-G for example, still likes electrical toy-trains and thinks they're cool and would've jumped on a skateboard like he used to do when he was young, weren't it that he just recently had broken his leg)

Allison

May 25, 10, 22:51 #10

MareGaea:

Why don't you find yourself another boyfriend? As I remember, you're a rather goodlooking girl, it shouldn't be a problem for you to find a nice and good lad out there who doesn't give you all the trouble your current bf does. But then again, I've always had a tendency to rationalise things like this. It's up to you, but in general boys of 17 don't really know what they want. Girls at that age are more mature, for some reason. I think his behaviour will pass, come time, but you have to ask yourself if you're willing to wait for that to happen as it could take years and years and some men never grow up.

>^..^<

M-G (M-G for example, still likes electrical toy-trains and thinks they're cool and would've jumped on a skateboard like he used to do when he was young, weren't it that he just recently had broken his leg)

lol, the doesn't know what he wants thing is not what bothers me its just that he'll be really depressed and mean sometimes and then others he will be different. lol I always used to ask him if this was a phase and would he get better and he would insist that he would NEVER CHANGE AND I'LL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS, SO YOU'D BETTER SHUT UP AND DEAL WITH IT lol just kidding it wasn't really that dramatic. No, I just have trouble finding a bf because I'm narrow minded and VERY VERY picky. I try not to be so picky but I just can't, I really have certain idea in my head about the person I want and I don't want anything else.

plk123Threads: 30 Posts: 6,412 Joined: Aug 29, 07 ♂	Edited by: plk123 May 26, 10, 02:26 #11
Allison: No, I just have trouble finding a bf because I'm narrow minded and VERY VERY picky. I try not to be so picky but I just can't, I really have certain idea in my head about the person I want and I don't want anything else. good luck with that. lol

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	May 26, 10, 02:33 #12
plk123: good luck with that. lol plk123 likes challenges...you two should hook up... ;)

Allison	May 26, 10, 03:30 #13
pgtx: plk123 likes challenges...you two should hook up... ;) possibly, if he fits the criteria but I doubt he will.

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	May 26, 10, 03:33 #14
Allison: if he fits the criteria what criteria? Allison: I doubt he will. don't doubt before you know...

Allison	May 26, 10, 03:37 #15
He must have a personality that I can stand, be 5'11" or taller, be reasonably attractive, not have any weird or annoying beliefs, no baggage, and must make a decent living.

dtaylor5632Threads: 49 Posts: 4,459 Joined: May 2, 09 ♂	May 26, 10, 03:42 #16
Allison: Who is Zimmy? pf resident stalker

MEMBER ♀

May 26, 10, 03:42 #17

ShawnH:

And how long before Zimmy chimes in?

no! ZIMMY is my sugar plum! i don't share him!!!!!

Allison:

He must have a personality that I can stand, be 5'11" or taller, be reasonably attractive, not have any weird or annoying beliefs, no baggage, and must make a decent living.

girl, you are gonna have it easy... look at my criteria (from the other thread):

-my boyfriend must move to Texas;
-he cannot seek an opportunity to get a green card;
-it must be love;
-he must know how to cook, clean and iron!
-he must love cats;
-he must be good looking and educated so i won't be ashamed to show him off to my friends;
-he must have large feet, hands and a nose;

;)

Allison

May 26, 10, 03:45 #18

pgtx:

-my boyfriend must move to Texas;
-he cannot seek an opportunity to get a green card;
-it must be love;
-he must know how to cook, clean and iron!
-he must love cats;
-he must be good looking and educated so i won't be ashamed to show him off to my friends;
-he must have large feet, hands and a nose;

haha I don't care as much about those kind of things. Your even pickier than me, I don't know how you will find a man that will work for you. I think you might end up with a gay man lol cooks, cleans, irons, and loves cats lol?

ShawnHThreads: 9 Posts: 3,056 Joined: Jul 2, 09 ♂	Edited by: ShawnH May 26, 10, 03:50 #19
Allison: cooks, cleans, irons, and loves cats lol? Nothing wrong with those past times, really. Gotta do something while the better half brings home the bacon!

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Edited by: pgtx May 26, 10, 03:51 #20
ShawnH: Nothing wrong with those past times, really. present sweetie, present... ;) Zimmy would do that for me.... ;))

ShawnHThreads: 9 Posts: 3,056 Joined: Jul 2, 09 ♂	May 26, 10, 03:53 #21
pgtx: present sweetie, present... ;) I don't remember that being on your list :-]

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	May 26, 10, 03:54 #22
ShawnH: Gotta do something while the better half brings home the bacon! well, actually, all of my girlfriends have great jobs and they would prefer the guys stay at home... they want to work and i understand it... ShawnH: I don't remember that being on your list :-] i don't care much about presents... i always exchange them anyway... ;)

ShawnHThreads: 9 Posts: 3,056 Joined: Jul 2, 09 ♂	May 26, 10, 04:03 #23
pgtx: well, actually, all of my girlfriends have great jobs and they would prefer the guys stay at home... they want to work and i understand it... Zimmy would insist on you staying home, I am sure. No need for shoes. Close to the stove. He's just an old fashioned kind of guy.

Allison

May 26, 10, 04:07 #24

ShawnH:

well, actually, all of my girlfriends have great jobs and they would prefer the guys stay at home... they want to work and i understand it...
Zimmy would insist on you staying home, I am sure. No need for shoes. Close to the stove. He's just an old fashioned kind of guy.

Who the heck wants to have a "great job" anyway. My sister is a lawyer and it is a very stressful difficult job. Seing her doing that would make me glad to stay at home.

MEMBER ♀

May 26, 10, 04:09 #25

ShawnH:

Zimmy would insist on you staying home, I am sure. No need for shoes. Close to the stove. He's just an old fashioned kind of guy.

that's my future with Zimmy... can't wait!

Allison:

My sister is a lawyer and it is a very stressful difficult job. Seing her doing that would make me glad to stay at home.

hehe... wait a few years and you'll see... staying at home all day ain't fun after all...

Allison	May 26, 10, 04:11 #26
pgtx: hehe... wait a few years and you'll see... staying at home all day ain't fun after all... Its better than doing a bunch of hard work, sure it will be boring though.

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	May 26, 10, 04:13 #27
Allison: Its better than doing a bunch of hard work, sure it will be boring though. it's not boring if you do what you like to do... so you want to stay at home doing nothing? work at home is hard to, specially if you have kids.... and boredom make you crazy - not good for a long run... what do you want to do while staying at home?

Allison	May 26, 10, 04:16 #28
pgtx: what do you want to do while staying at home? whatever I please lol. I don't mean staying at home completely, I just don't think I'll want to have a big "career".

richasisThreads: 5 Posts: 833 Joined: Jul 25, 09 ♂	May 26, 10, 04:16 #29
Allison: He must have a personality that I can stand, be 5'11" or taller, be reasonably attractive, not have any weird or annoying beliefs, no baggage, and must make a decent living. Well, two out of six ain't bad :)

Allison	May 26, 10, 04:21 #30
richasis: Well, two out of six ain't bad :) lol which ones did you fail?

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