Broken Heart due to the mother of my Polish girlfriend

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Nov 4, 10, 19:19 #1

Hello. I want to tell my story.A story that broke my heart.I worked in agriculture in Germany where I met a girl from Poland.It started as a joke but the joke has thickened and I was in love with her.I went to Poland to meet her parents and her come in Romania.We had wedding plans to settle down in Poland do my family.Until one day when her mother tells her that it is pointless to sit with mebecause will not have a future together that will have to work in other countries because i didnt now know the language.I call my girl says she wants to take a break to think about what he said the mother.Was too good to be true I love her very much, but now i dont now nothing.I hope that God will help me.because im inlove.I wait to tell your views.

AtoshaThreads: 5 Posts: 63 Joined: Oct 19, 10 ♀	Nov 4, 10, 19:26 #2
Why don't you go to night classes after work and learn the language?

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Edited by: A J Nov 4, 10, 19:31 #3

ciprian_suciu:

I hope that God will help me.

I'm afraid you'll have to help yourself my man.

ciprian_suciu:

I wait to tell your views.

If she doesn't want you because of financial reasons or language barriers, then you really should forget about her. There are more nice girls out there, so my advice would be: Don't put her on a pedestal, and don't make her any more special than she really is. She's just another girl who's thinking about her future, trying to survive. You really like her. I get that. But still, she's just another girl.

;)

Atosha:

Why don't you go to night classes after work and learn the language?

Good question.

:)

trener zolwiaThreads: 5 Posts: 2,786 Joined: Jun 8, 10 ♂	Nov 4, 10, 19:58 #4
ciprian_suciu: broke my heart ciprian_suciu: a girl from Poland Man, another one! Reading PF a peep would think that Polish babes were running around breaking hearts the world over! Atosha: Why don't you go to night classes after work and learn the language? If the language barrier is really the only issue, this certainly seems like the solution.

noreenbThreads: 4 Posts: 1,082 Joined: Apr 22, 09 ♀	Nov 4, 10, 20:57 #5
ciprian_suciu I call my girl says she wants to take a break to think about what he said the mother. Two key questions in the situation are: Does she need a break to think if she really wanted to be with you? or: Did she say that she needed a break because she thought sth like: "Our relationship wasn't strong enough to survive." I think finding good answers would be good for you.

ciprian_suciuThreads: 1 Posts: 2 Joined: Nov 4, 10 ♂	Nov 4, 10, 21:07 #6
Thank you to everyone for advice.Maybe i will try to learn the language.Now i wait.The mother of this girl is very difficult woman,talking too much and not good.

trener zolwiaThreads: 5 Posts: 2,786 Joined: Jun 8, 10 ♂	Nov 4, 10, 21:17 #7
Does she speak English as well as you? Tell her you want your relationship conducted in English.

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Nov 4, 10, 21:18 #8

A J:

If she doesn't want you because of financial reasons or language barriers, then you really should forget about her.

It sounds more like her mother is making her doubt.

ciprian_suciu:

The mother of this girl is very difficult woman,talking too much and not good.

It's hard for a woman to leave her mother for a man. Too bad her mother is like that. If you marry her, maybe her mother will try to control everything, your lives, your children...

A JThreads: 19 Posts: 4,639 Joined: May 21, 10 ♂	Nov 4, 10, 21:28 #9
shewolf: It sounds more like her mother is making her doubt. Maybe, but if a girl isn't too sure about you she usually doesn't love you that much. (Sorry if that's cruel, but it's true.) ;)

ciprian_suciuThreads: 1 Posts: 2 Joined: Nov 4, 10 ♂	Nov 4, 10, 23:02 #10
Speak english well, i dont now but maybe dont fell this love like mee.if you love somebody you dont listen people around.I want very much to now the polish language only to have a discussion with her mother.Thank you and keep you abreast

shewolfThreads: 5 Posts: 1,835 Joined: Dec 23, 06 ♀	Nov 5, 10, 00:59 #11
ciprian_suciu: if you love somebody you dont listen people around. A parent is not just people, though. It's not that easy for a woman to throw her mother away to be with a man. Of course she's not going to love you more than her mother. It's better to find someone whose parents like you.

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Nov 5, 10, 01:18 #12

ciprian_suciu:

Speak english well, i dont now but maybe dont fell this love like mee.if you love somebody you dont listen people around.

I think young women are more sensitive to what other people might think of them, or have to say than young men. We're often a bit blind, adventurous and reckless, where they're more practical, calculating and don't like to take risks that much.

shewolf:

It's better to find someone whose parents like you.

Or simply find a girl who doesn't like her parents that much, or a girl who simply doesn't care about what her parents want, because those girls exist too!

:)

♂

Edited by: trener zolwia Nov 5, 10, 01:25 #13

shewolf:

A parent is not just people, though. It's not that easy for a woman to throw her mother away to be with a man. Of course she's not going to love you more than her mother. It's better to find someone whose parents like you.

And don't mothers play even more of a role in their daughters lives in the Polish culture?

A J:

I think young women are more sensitive to what other people might think of them, or have to say

I think this is true.

A J:

Or simply find a girl who doesn't like her parents that much, or a girl who simply doesn't care about what her parents want, because those girls exist too!

Sometimes these are the funnest ones! :D

A JThreads: 19 Posts: 4,639 Joined: May 21, 10 ♂	Nov 5, 10, 01:42 #14
trener zolwia: Sometimes these are the funnest ones! :D Alright! To be honest, these are more my type of girls, because you already know I'm not exactly the pinnacle of conformism, etiquette, or political correctness for that matter. (Sometimes I really wish I was!) ;)

trener zolwiaThreads: 5 Posts: 2,786 Joined: Jun 8, 10 ♂	Nov 5, 10, 01:58 #15
A J: To be honest, these are more my type of girls A number of years ago I happened to notice that the majority of my romantic relationships had been with girls who didn't have fathers, were children of divorce. It's not like I consciously sought such girls. I wonder what this say about me? :s I should ask Natasa...

Pinching PeteThreads: 1 Posts: 1,111 Joined: Feb 23, 08 ♂	Nov 5, 10, 02:05 #16
ciprian_suciu: The mother of this girl is very difficult woman Yeah man, that is the case no matter what the nationality is.. Don't worry there's a chance she'll defy her mother. Hang in there.

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Nov 5, 10, 02:23 #17

trener zolwia:

A number of years ago I happened to notice that the majority of my romantic relationships had been with girls who didn't have fathers, were children of divorce. It's not like I consciously sought such girls.

Me neither, but usually I feel more attraction towards the free-spirited.

trener zolwia:

I wonder what this say about me? :s

That you have surpressed Liberal tendencies?

;P

trener zolwia:

I should ask Natasa...

I hope she'll give you the same answer!

xD

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Nov 5, 10, 02:25 #18

trener zolwia:

And don't mothers play even more of a role in their daughters lives in the Polish culture?

That's true for many cultures, where the children are taught that family is important, even the men. I had a boyfriend whose mother was a nightmare, so controlling. I left because I couldn't take it anymore, but I never would have asked him to leave his own mother for me. Like the greeting cards say, sometimes love means letting go. hehe.

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Nov 5, 10, 03:17 #19

shewolf:

That's true for many cultures, where the children are taught that family is important, even the men.

I'd say we are taught to grow up, and fast. I think most of us do value our families, siblings and close relatives, but we're usually not very fond of eachother's company. We need to love eachother from a distance. I think most of us (Including parents!) like our freedom and personal space, and we don't like rules. So, I'm afraid there aren't many mothers who are telling me I can't borrow their daughters for a few nights. (Slightly overexaggarated of course, but still!)

;P

King SobieskiThreads: 7 Posts: 1,106 Joined: Jan 22, 07 ♂	Nov 5, 10, 03:54 #20
does this have also something to do with it: Username ciprian_suciu Member Since Nov 4, 10 Last Post Yesterday, 23:02 Gender Male Email Send Email Threads 1 Posts 2 Country, city Romania,Oradea Znasz j. polski? no,but i want to learn Occupation, website i dont have occupation Interests I like polish people,and i want to chance ideas,

trener zolwiaThreads: 5 Posts: 2,786 Joined: Jun 8, 10 ♂	Nov 5, 10, 04:29 #21
A J: That you have surpressed Liberal tendencies? Ew, God, I'd have to shoot myself. Dx More likely, such girls see me as a strong and dependable male figure. B)

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Edited by: noreenb Nov 5, 10, 19:35 #22

shewolf
It's not that easy for a woman to throw her mother away to be with a man. Of course she's not going to love you more than her mother.

It's true, but nobody expects from her to throw her mother away. A problem in the situation is the biggest for the mother of the girl. I think she doesn't see opportunities for them to be together.
If she saw them, she could change her mind.
What kind of future can he offer to his girlfriend? Maybe the future isn't bright and good enough for the Polish girl and him.
I'm just trying to think like a parent.

shewolfThreads: 5 Posts: 1,835 Joined: Dec 23, 06 ♀	Nov 5, 10, 23:06 #23
noreenb: A problem in the situation is the biggest for the mother of the girl. I think she doesn't see opportunities for them to be together. Yeah, he explained that about her. But is it really the mother's decision? The mother is in control. She's the one who will decide who her daughter will marry and the daughter will obey.

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