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Culture of Polish people (searching for a Polish guy who is the father of my baby)


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nyxThreads: 1
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 12, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 12, 11, 19:25    #1
Hi..

I am very new to this site and I would like some advice on the culture of Polish people. I am searching for the address of a Polish guy who is the father of my 2 year old daughter. I believe if I get an idea of the culture there, I might be able to understand the way he has done things since our daughter was born. There are certain facts about his life that I do know and I am in the process of trying to make a decision as to whether to launch a full search for him to be able to sue him or not, or if to just believe what he says.

If there is anyone who can tell me about the culture of Polish people regarding relationships, marriage, kids outside marriage, please, I would really appreciate any information I can get either here or PM. Because of the nature of the situation, there may be certain information that I would rather share via private mail and not here on the open forum.

Thanks all
nyxThreads: 1
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 12, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 12, 11, 19:43    #2
Merged thread:
Child Laws in Poland

Hi,

Can anyone tell me about the Laws in Poland regarding children who are born to Polish father but foreign mother?

I have a 2 year old daughter who's father is Polish. However, he was not present at the registration of my daughter so his name is not on her birth certificate. We have kept in contact via email and he has contributed to her upbringing once or twice financially, but for the most part, he has not lived up to his responsibility, financially nor emotionally. I would love to know what are my chances of claiming support for her from him.

Of course, firstly I would have to find him, cause I do not know his address.
WroclawThreads: 77
Posts: 7,404
Joined: Apr 1, 06  Pictures: 3 ♂ [Moderator] 		 Jan 12, 11, 20:10    #3
nyx:
Of course, firstly I would have to find him, cause I do not know his address.


give us a name and maybe we can find him.
MidasThreads: 2
Posts: 788
Joined: Jul 19, 10 ♂ 		Edited by: Midas  Jan 12, 11, 20:29    #4
I'm assuming You are not married.

Here's what You have to do:

1) Sue the guy for paternity of Your child. A court in Poland may force him to submit do DNA testing.

2) Once that is established, sue him for child support. Include what he owes You on account of not contributing for 2 years - go for both a lump sum and a monthly payment.

Don't know if 1 and 2 can be wrapped up in one neat bundle in Polish Family law, You'll have to ask a lawyer who specializes in this.

Oh, and this has IMO nothing to do with him being Polish and everything to do with him being a complete ass. Don't bite on the "culture excuse". Sue.
nyxThreads: 1
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 12, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 12, 11, 20:47    #5
Midas:
^^ That Your boy? Looks a bit youngish, but who knows.



Hi.. I have no access to Facebook here at work.. so I'll have to check that when I get home but I'm almost sure its not the correct person. He had a facebook account when we were together but soon realised it was leaking too much information to his wife who he wanted to get a divorce from...
MidasThreads: 2
Posts: 788
Joined: Jul 19, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 12, 11, 20:52    #6
Ok, how old was the guy? And did he ever give You the name of the city in Poland where he was from? Or, I dunno, the city in the UK he worked in?
nyxThreads: 1
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 12, 11 ♀ 		Edited by: Moderator  Jan 12, 11, 21:03    #7
He would be 33 this July. He used to work with a company called Intec. I dont know which city he was from but I know that the Representative for that company is in Gdansk, so I believe he's from somewhere there or close to.

He's married to **** (I dont know if that is how its spelt) and they have a son whose name is ****. The son might be about 13 or 14 by now. Lukasz' dad served in the Polish Army and is retired I think, but he lives in the UK somewhere.

edited: other family names removed.
puellaThreads: 9
Posts: 319
Joined: Jan 10, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 12, 11, 22:07    #8
NYX
You shouldn't give such infos on a public forum. Whatever is between you and him, it's utterly wrong to give name and id infos along with such personal intimate informations.
MidasThreads: 2
Posts: 788
Joined: Jul 19, 10 ♂ 		Edited by: Moderator  Jan 12, 11, 23:04    #9
Puella - how else on earth is this girl supposed to sue the guy?
puellaThreads: 9
Posts: 319
Joined: Jan 10, 11 ♀ 		Edited by: puella  Jan 12, 11, 23:09    #10
Midas:
Puella - how else on earth is this girl supposed to sue the guy?


How? What does it change if she find him on facebook?! She just needs to find a lawyer. She knows his full name and age... so what's the problem
MidasThreads: 2
Posts: 788
Joined: Jul 19, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 12, 11, 23:13    #11
I don't think a "lawer" is going to help her much.
mafketisThreads: 17
Posts: 1,880
Joined: Mar 31, 08 ♂ 		 Jan 12, 11, 23:24    #12
nyx:
If there is anyone who can tell me about the culture of Polish people regarding relationships, marriage, kids outside marriage, please, I would really appreciate any information I can get


I don't have any fancy academic references, but IME (observing and listening to people I know)

1. If he was interested in being a father, he would have gotten married before the birth. Sex before marriage is the norm and visibly pregnant brides are very, very common. Getting married is the sign he's going to take responsibility (without a fight). Not getting married (for whatever reason) is a sign he's going to head for the hills.

2. I would not believe any Polish man who said he was "trying" to get a divorce. He's either in the process officially or he doesn't want one. There are no other realistic options. Wives trying to hold onto husbands by refusing to grant a divorce just doesn't happen. Sorry.

3. Polish men mostly don't feel any responsibility for the children of women they're not married to (for whatever reason). There are exceptions but that's the general rule (see 1.)

4. The big unknown is his family. There are equal odds that they'll a) bring whatever influence they have (usually a lot) to make sure he owns up to his responsibilities (so they can have access to their grandkid) or b) think of you as the wh*re of Babylon trying to ensnare their perfect little boy by purposefully getting pregnant. There's not much in between those two extremes.
nyxThreads: 1
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 12, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 12, 11, 23:39    #13
mafketis:
2. I would not believe any Polish man who said he was "trying" to get a divorce. He's either in the process officially or he doesn't want one. There are no other realistic options. Wives trying to hold onto husbands by refusing to grant a divorce just doesn't happen. Sorry.

3. Polish men mostly don't feel any responsibility for the children of women they're not married to (for whatever reason). There are exceptions but that's the general rule (see 1.)

4. The big unknown is his family. There are equal odds that they'll a) bring whatever influence they have (usually a lot) to make sure he owns up to his responsibilities (so they can have access to their grandkid) or b) think of you as the wh*re of Babylon trying to ensnare their perfect little boy by purposefully getting pregnant. There's not much in between those two extremes.



-------------------------

In response to the above:

2. Like most women who fall in love with married men, I was "fed" that bull crap in order to keep me holding on.. I know that. I take full responsibility for getting involved in this kind of relationship as I know its wrong but I do believe that my daughter still has the right to a father.

3. I never knew that. I honestly believed that the same responsibility and commitment he feels towards his family, that he would feel for our daughter.

4. I would love to meet his family. I am sure his dad and mom would love to meet a grand-daughter! His mom and dad are divorced and live in separate countries and his mother knew about us. I dont think she knows that I had a baby tho..

If they think of my as the wh**e of Babylon... well, too bad for them. It was not a planned pregnancy, as a matter of fact, we were quite careful the couple times we were together, but this one time we werent and obviously our daughter is a result of carelessness on both our part.
OlafThreads: 8
Posts: 1,369
Joined: Oct 29, 09  Pictures: 1 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 11, 00:47    #14
Midas:
Sue the guy for paternity of Your child
- May be unnecessary if the guy admits to the child. DNA test is the last resort, but often unnecessary.
Midas:
Oh, and this has IMO nothing to do with him being Polish and everything to do with him being a complete ass. Don't bite on the "culture excuse".
Totally!
Midas:
Ok, the lad from facebook is off the hook then, he's like 20.
Heh, poor guy, he's not even aware what was up around him for a minute;)
OgienThreads: 15
Posts: 420
Joined: Jul 22, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 11, 00:54    #15
Don't worry. It's perfectly normal for Polish men to come to foreign countries, impregnate the women, and then leave them. It's totally part of the culture so no worries.
nyxThreads: 1
Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 12, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 13, 11, 13:18    #16
Ogien:
Don't worry. It's perfectly normal for Polish men to come to foreign countries, impregnate the women, and then leave them. It's totally part of the culture so no worries



Sarcasm is great for a laugh! Thanks!
internaldialogThreads: 9
Posts: 425
Joined: Apr 25, 10 ♀ 		 Jan 14, 11, 19:24    #17
Oh dear, i would just let it drop in my honest opinion not that it will make much difference but if he hasnt shown any interest in you once you got pregnant nor after the child was born he isnt likely to show any now. Plus as you have very publically stated his full name on this forum and your reasons for locating him it really doesnt hold much help no matter how hard you try even if when you google his name its the very top link and direct to this thread you have declared his name on.
Chasing someone for paternity sometimes is neither in the best interests of the person sort nor the child ...

"Any man can father a child doesn't make them a dad!"

Also Polish culture has F.A to do with why he did what he did at end of day love you were an available source for sex and if YOU yourself had no intentions to get pregnant you should have used contraception. Plus it's been 2 years try to move on for the state of your own sanity and your childs.

If you intend to pursue go speak to someone in the legal services ie a solicitor/lawyer costly i know but then again so will a court case and DNA testing etc as you have to front some costs not just this Łukasz character.
convexThreads: 46
Posts: 7,185
Joined: Nov 25, 09  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		 Jan 14, 11, 19:35    #18
internaldialog:
Also Polish culture has F.A to do with why he did what he did at end of day love you were an available source for sex and if YOU yourself had no intentions to get pregnant you should have used contraception. Plus it's been 2 years try to move on for the state of your own sanity and your childs.

It's about the moolah. Not to mention that the kid has a right to a Polish passport.
internaldialogThreads: 9
Posts: 425
Joined: Apr 25, 10 ♀ 		 Jan 14, 11, 19:56    #19
convex:
It's about the moolah. Not to mention that the kid has a right to a Polish passport.


I had worked out that the OP will be wanting the money aspect. The child would yes you are right a right to a Polish Passport but then would have to say whether the child has a British or Polish nationality as Poland doesnt recognise dual nationality so in the eyes of Poland the child would be Polish whether OP wants that is entirely her choice but after 2 years of searching and having to resort to the internet seems desperate, i know times are hard financially for everyone due to recession but jees after 2 years the child isnt really going to have any connection to its father anyways as it (possibly) hasnt already!
ZIMMYThreads: 10
Posts: 2,353
Joined: Feb 21, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 14, 11, 20:01    #20
puella:
You shouldn't give such infos on a public forum. Whatever is between you and him, it's utterly wrong to give name and id infos along with such personal intimate informations.


Absolutely right. It is wrong to give specific information like this from only one persons perspective. Too often innocent people are harmed.
Chicago PollockThreads: 10
Posts: 638
Joined: Apr 10, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 15, 11, 06:50    #21
convex:
It's about the moolah. Not to mention that the kid has a right to a Polish passport.


Exactly! He's worth pursuing. Kids are expensive.
pee wee  Jan 15, 11, 08:01    #22
are you muslim woman living in england
NomadatNetThreads: 6
Posts: 1,492
Joined: Mar 28, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 15, 11, 10:11    #23
puella:
How? What does it change if she find him on facebook?! She just needs to find a lawyer. She knows his full name and age... so what's the problem


She is not married, is she? So, this is not about divorce case.
And, not everybody has enough money to hire a lawyer.
convexThreads: 46
Posts: 7,185
Joined: Nov 25, 09  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		 Jan 15, 11, 13:26    #24
internaldialog:
I had worked out that the OP will be wanting the money aspect. The child would yes you are right a right to a Polish Passport but then would have to say whether the child has a British or Polish nationality as Poland doesnt recognise dual nationality so in the eyes of Poland the child would be Polish whether OP wants that is entirely her choice but after 2 years of searching and having to resort to the internet seems desperate, i know times are hard financially for everyone due to recession but jees after 2 years the child isnt really going to have any connection to its father anyways as it (possibly) hasnt already!

She seems fairly adamant that it is him. If so, she needs to contact a lawyer, and have him find the guy, administer the test, and get the kid his part of support that it's owed, as well as the Polish passport that the kid has a right to. I'm not sure what the situation is in Trinidad and Tobago, but I'm guessing an EU passport will give the kid much better prospects.
warszawskiThreads: 60
Posts: 2,389
Joined: May 21, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 15, 11, 13:33    #25
convex:
I'm not sure what the situation is in Trinidad and Tobago, but I'm guessing an EU passport will give the kid much better prospects.


In the states if your child has an american passport, the parents have the right to reside, no matter their nationality ( is this correct ?) In the EU I believe if a child has an EU passport, the parent does not get automatic residency, its a separate application.
convexThreads: 46
Posts: 7,185
Joined: Nov 25, 09  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		Edited by: convex  Jan 15, 11, 13:41    #26
warszawski:
In the states if your child has an american passport, the parents have the right to reside, no matter their nationality ( is this correct ?) In the EU I believe if a child has an EU passport, the parent does not get automatic residency, its a separate application.

Not sure. My thoughts were more about when the child gets old enough to exercise the use of the passport on its own.
yesiamperfect  Jan 15, 11, 14:13    #27
omg! I can't even believe you have named him on this site and have got people searching all over the internet for him. He's married. You knew that but still went and messed with him, had a baby whilst he was still married and are now crying over child support. You made your bed now lie in it. Married men rarely leave their wives, everyone know that! I doubt his wife knew he had a bit of fluff on the side and what about his teenage son. You are a selfish individual and have in part broken up a family. If I were you I would keep my head down in shame and raise the child alone. Goodluck with explaining to her that she was concieved as a result of a filthy affair.

You should have worried about the Polish culutre before you let him in.
ehyym  Jan 15, 11, 14:59    #28
well..i've found that guy. i'm sure it's him. it's really easy to find people in internet if you only want:/ anyway, it looks like he is still with his wife. i won't give you the link to find him. i'm sure you'll find another way to do it. i'm not sure if it's legal to provide people's details on some internet forum. we only know your version of the story....sorry.
convexThreads: 46
Posts: 7,185
Joined: Nov 25, 09  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		 Jan 15, 11, 15:07    #29
yesiamperfect:
Married men rarely leave their wives, everyone know that! I doubt his wife knew he had a bit of fluff on the side and what about his teenage son. You are a selfish individual and have in part broken up a family. If I were you I would keep my head down in shame and raise the child alone. Goodluck with explaining to her that she was concieved as a result of a filthy affair.

Married or not, takes two to make a kid. Decided to do that, now he can at least help pay to raise it.
yesiamperfect  Jan 15, 11, 15:45    #30
@ convex. That is why I said 'in part'. No way would the man be exempt from this horrible mess. However, if he was against the baby and told the OP that he didn't want anything to do with the child then she can't complain for his absence. We don't know the full story and I hate it when a man makes his feelings known when the woman has a chance to do something about it and she ignores his wishes and goes ahead and makes the decision to have the baby regardless, then starts moaning about it. The men always end up getting screwed. I'm a female by the way and hate women who mess with married men and the expext to get treated like they're are something special. They are nothing but cheap, homewrecking hoes! If they had some decency, those disgusting cheating spouses wouldn't have a chance. Men are men after all.

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