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Dating a Polish guy for three years. Will he ever marry me????


page 1 of 2:  1  2  Next » posts: 38

jo1234Threads: 1
Posts: 2
Joined: May 14, 10 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 02:58    #1
been dating a polish guy for three years...... im divorced with children and 10 years older than my guy. we dont live together yet so my question is? do you think we will ever get married????? the conversation has come up and he added that we could never marry in poland.... my answer was we dont live in poland we live in england???? so any ideas guys??? am i just wasting my time hoping or because i love him stay and pray he will ask one day
PlasticPoleThreads: 10
Posts: 5,433
Joined: May 28, 09 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 03:14    #2
Ask him to marry you and see what he says.
ShawnHThreads: 9
Posts: 3,056
Joined: Jul 2, 09 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 03:18    #3
jo1234:
he added that we could never marry in poland

Legal reasons or a social reasons?
PlasticPoleThreads: 10
Posts: 5,433
Joined: May 28, 09 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 03:23    #4
What's up with him not marrying you in Poland? Does his family want him to marry a nice Polish woman or is he seperated from a Polish wife and hasn't bothered filing for divorce. That is odd he doesn't want to marry you in Poland.
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 03:43    #5
jo1234:
do you think we will ever get married?????

no

because of
jo1234:
dating a polish guy for three years.

jo1234:
im divorced with children

jo1234:
10 years older than my guy

jo1234:
we dont live together yet


jo1234:
am i just wasting my time

yes
asikThreads: 2
Posts: 547
Joined: Feb 17, 09 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 03:46    #6
pgtx:
jo1234:
am i just wasting my time

yes

I'm convinced too, that you are wasting your time with this guy.
STFUThreads: -
Posts: 122
Joined: May 13, 10 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 04:10    #7
Are you happy with him? Is he still with you? Has he ever cheated on you in those three years? From your posting, I get the impression you can answer all these questions with a no? So does marriage really mean more to you than being together with a guy you like being with?

Let me put it this way, if your only goal is to obtain financial security through marriage, then yes, you might be wasting your time. Who knows? But are you wasting your time if he likes you and you like him?

That's worth something, right? I mean, I know married people who have what they call open marriages, I've seen married couples who cheated on eachother, or who go to swing clubs because they bore eachother..

;)
f stopThreads: 33
Posts: 2,861
Joined: Dec 9, 09  Pictures: 1 ♀ 		Edited by: f stop  May 14, 10, 04:15    #8
I have not met a woman that does not know, from the onset of a relationship, if he the guy wants to marry her or not. If you're the marrying kind and he's not begging you, move on.
What's so good about institution of marriage anyways?? It should be illegal.
STFUThreads: -
Posts: 122
Joined: May 13, 10 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 04:44    #9
f stop:
What's so good about institution of marriage anyways?? It should be illegal.


I wish I could find a woman who thinks like you. (But I can't!)

:)
PlasticPoleThreads: 10
Posts: 5,433
Joined: May 28, 09 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 04:48    #10
She wants some kind of commitment so the guy doesn't wander back to Poland. That's why women want to be married. They want to go on and on to other women about their "husbands" and be a member of the "old married woman" club.
STFUThreads: -
Posts: 122
Joined: May 13, 10 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 04:59    #11
PlasticPole:
She wants some kind of commitment so the guy doesn't wander back to Poland.


Sure, but commitment doesn't mean anything if it only lives on a piece of paper, and you can't force commitment through a piece of paper either. You either carry a promise in your heart or you don't..

:)
plk123Threads: 30
Posts: 6,412
Joined: Aug 29, 07  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 06:16    #12
yeah, it depends on how badly you need that piece of paper.. if it's the most important thing, then you are wasting your time. move along..
jo1234Threads: 1
Posts: 2
Joined: May 14, 10 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 11:50    #13
thanks guys for all your comments............did help much though... i have committed to my life to this guy and i am just scared that, in ten years time he we leave and go back to poland and i know my heart will be broken........
he is 23 i am his first girlfreind and i just hoping to be his last, but he has never been married and does not have children and am just scared that maybe later on in his life he will want this......... and i can no longer give him this....
sunhpThreads: 8
Posts: 23
Joined: Dec 23, 08 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 12:09    #14
It's sure that he will not offer you marry. Make your new life.
STFUThreads: -
Posts: 122
Joined: May 13, 10 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 12:16    #15
Hey, no one can look into the future, and ofcourse he could always leave you when you're married aswell. You're obviously doing something right if you've been with eachother for three years already. So if you're both happy with eachother then why should you have to worry about splitting up?

Why don't you talk about living together with him? Maybe he needs to get used to the whole idea? (He's still very young, and you're his first girlfriend after all!) If it turns out he doesn't want to live with you then you should move on..
Wroclaw BoyThreads: 57
Posts: 5,478
Joined: Jul 3, 09  Pictures: 2  Gold Member MEMBER ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 12:23    #16
jo1234:
and i can no longer give him this....

he will fly in the end i suspect.
AmathystThreads: 30
Posts: 3,968
Joined: Nov 10, 06  Pictures: 2 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 14:26    #17
jo1234:
thanks guys for all your comments............did help much though... i have committed to my life to this guy and i am just scared that, in ten years time he we leave and go back to poland and i know my heart will be broken........
he is 23 i am his first girlfreind and i just hoping to be his last, but he has never been married and does not have children and am just scared that maybe later on in his life he will want this......... and i can no longer give him this....


Even being married wont stop him leaving if he wants to..its just a piece of paper..nothing more..

As for not getting married in Poland..This is probably because his family dont know about you...

Good luck..
dnzThreads: 25
Posts: 804
Joined: Dec 2, 07 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 14:40    #18
Sorry but what sort of 23 year old would want to marry a women 10 years older than him with 2 kids, Thats not what 23 year olds do, they should be out having fun.

Blunt but true.
f stopThreads: 33
Posts: 2,861
Joined: Dec 9, 09  Pictures: 1 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 14:48    #19
jo1234:
i have committed to my life to this guy and i am just scared that, in ten years time he we leave and go back to poland and i know my heart will be broken


Well than enjoy what you have now and don't let worrying what will happen 10 years from now spoil your relationship.
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 15:58    #20
Amathyst:
As for not getting married in Poland..This is probably because his family dont know about you...

or his wife...
;)
STFUThreads: -
Posts: 122
Joined: May 13, 10 ♂ 		 May 14, 10, 16:27    #21
dnz:
Sorry but what sort of 23 year old would want to marry a women 10 years older than him with 2 kids, Thats not what 23 year olds do, they should be out having fun.


I don't know, a 23 year old who's more mature than most 23 year olds perhaps? (Maybe some people have different ideas about fun?) Why should they? Is there a code of conduct for what people should, or shouldn't do when they're 23?

f stop:
Well than enjoy what you have now and don't let worrying what will happen 10 years from now spoil your relationship.


Exactly.

:)
jo1234Threads: 1
Posts: 2
Joined: May 14, 10 ♀ 		 May 14, 10, 18:48    #22
i have been to poland and met his family.. his brother and wife came to stay at my house when they came to visit last year, my children really liked them........ and my guys parents were really nice and inviting, i felt very honoured to be in thier home and they made me feel part of thier family... which makes it even harder to realise that if he left...........
shewolfThreads: 5
Posts: 1,835
Joined: Dec 23, 06 ♀ 		 May 15, 10, 00:54    #23
jo1234:
i have committed to my life to this guy and i am just scared that, in ten years time he we leave and go back to poland and i know my heart will be broken........
he is 23 i am his first girlfreind and i just hoping to be his last, but he has never been married and does not have children and am just scared that maybe later on in his life he will want this......... and i can no longer give him this....


No relationship is guaranteed to last and not end in heartache. If you really want to marry someone, he doesn't sound ready and you should look for someone else. If you're just worried about the future, you should stop worrying and just enjoy what you have while it's yours. Even if he married you today, he could leave you tomorrow. Why worry about something that hasn't happened yet or that you can't control?
plk123Threads: 30
Posts: 6,412
Joined: Aug 29, 07  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		 May 15, 10, 01:14    #24
shewolf:
Why worry about something that hasn't happened yet or that you can't control?

because that is what women do, no? :)
pgtxThreads: 49
Posts: 6,327
Joined: Feb 14, 09  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		 May 15, 10, 01:18    #25
plk123:
because that is what women do, no? :)

and if you read some of the posts on this forum, men do too... :)
plk123Threads: 30
Posts: 6,412
Joined: Aug 29, 07  Pictures: 2 ♂ 		 May 15, 10, 01:22    #26
pgtx:
men do too... :)

maybe those aren't men. ;) :D
BolleThreads: 3
Posts: 226
Joined: Apr 29, 10 ♂ 		 May 15, 10, 01:38    #27
jo1234:
10 years older than my guy


Me thinks he is waiting for a younger fish to swim by.
Judgement  May 29, 10, 20:56    #28
Jump out .... find a someone to enjoy life and have fulfillment. Not Just sex...
warszawskiThreads: 60
Posts: 2,389
Joined: May 21, 10 ♂ 		 May 29, 10, 23:16    #29
PlasticPole:
That is odd he doesn't want to marry you in Poland.


Maybe he was just referring to the fact she is divorced and cannot get married in a church in Poland. But here is one someone I know recently got married in Poland and in a church together with registrar, even though he had been married before in a church. Work that one out.
richasisThreads: 5
Posts: 833
Joined: Jul 25, 09 ♂ 		 May 30, 10, 00:05    #30
Umm ... three years and you've got to ask?

Sorry, but your guess is as good as mine...

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