Don't want others to join us at a table - is it normal for Polish girls to get angry?

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Aug 13, 11, 09:45 #1

I am in the early stages of getting to know a Polish girl (I am an English guy). Yesterday we have our second date, after spending some time together elsewhere we arrive at a bar. She sees one of her work colleagues who then joins us at our table and dominates conversation. When she leaves for the bathroom I try to explain to him that she is out with me and that I don't appreciate him taking all her attention. When she arrives back at the table, she is then very angry with me for doing this and tells me I can't tell her who she can and can't talk to. I am not trying to control her, but in England it is not polite to join a couple on a date. I'm very confused by this and had difficulty explaining to her as I was a little drunk and had become quite annoyed as I was very patient with this guy. Is this normal?

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Aug 13, 11, 10:03 #2

I am in the early stages of getting to know a Polish girl (I am an English guy). Yesterday we have our second date, after spending some time together elsewhere we arrive at a bar. She sees one of her work colleagues who then joins us at our table and dominates conversation. When she leaves for the bathroom I try to explain to him that she is out with me and that I don't appreciate him taking all her attention. When she arrives back at the table, she is then very angry with me for doing this and tells me I can't tell her who she can and can't talk to. I am not trying to control her, but in England it is not polite to join a couple on a date. I'm very confused by this and had difficulty explaining to her as I was a little drunk and had become quite annoyed as I was very patient with this guy. Is this normal?

I'm not a woman but if I was I'd slap you blue. Granted, the fifth-wheel guy might have been somewhat rude but so where you, in fact, you acted like a dikhead, you don't "own" her but that's what you made her feel like. This has nothing to do with your "in England, we don't... nonsense, this is about common sense.

grubasThreads: 20 Posts: 1,452 Joined: Feb 1, 10 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 10:04 #3
You are obviously insecure and possesive English boor.Leave her alone.

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Edited by: confused82 Aug 13, 11, 10:05 #4
haha, OK thats your opinion. @skysoulmate Maybe I am a little possessive but when a woman is with me I treat her like a queen and maybe I am a little insecure about this girl, I really like her @grubas

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Edited by: grubas Aug 13, 11, 10:14 #5

I really like her @grubas

Fine, but that's not enough,the point is wheter or not she really likes you but I can tell you right now that it's not gonna work.

Maybe I am a little possessive but when a woman is with me I treat her like a queen

You are selfish dude.Maybe she doesn't want to be treated like queen but instead she would like to have some freedom and independence.You never thought about that,have you?

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 10:16 #6
I guess I find out if she gets in touch later today or not, I wasn't saying the fact I really like her means it is the basis of a solid relationship more trying to explain the insecurity you pointed out @grubas

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Aug 13, 11, 10:47 #7

sure why don't ya just slap your lad out and **** all over here. lol

How come you weren't nice to the fella and try & try and have a bit of banter with her and someone who's obviously her mate?
man, you should always be nice to a chick's mate especially early in a relationship.
anyway just forget about her and learn from the experience, not like there aren't a fuckload of other hot Polish chicks in england

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 10:49 #8
I did try - trust me, I tolerated him for more than 2 hours before this point, but he was just continually focusing on talking to her, really though she is beautiful but it is not just that she has something special about her, got me whipped without even trying and I don't fall for chicks easy @smurf

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Aug 13, 11, 10:54 #9

Oh, try to stop a Polish woman from doing what she wants and you are in for a battle. So strong-minded sometimes. Still, I see your point and that guy should have put his hands up and apologised for interrupting. It's strange as I think they'd do it here. Quite a few Polish girls like to gibber away to who they want to and there is no point trying to stop them. They are a law unto themselves. I'm glad they mature :) :)

The point is, we have a different perception of etiquette in the UK.

grubasThreads: 20 Posts: 1,452 Joined: Feb 1, 10 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 11:03 #10
The point is, we have a different perception of etiquette in the UK. Etiquette is I guess pretty much the same in Poland and UK,it's just that sometimes one has to put etiquette and/or morals aside and apply free competition rules meaning that no rules apply.I do it.

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 11:08 #11
Thank you for attempting to understand my point of view, I was not trying to be an arsehole - precisely the opposite and feel like I got stung for it. I'm used to strong minded women, the mother of my child is half caribbean half scottish. Also thank you for answering my question, that yes this can be normal @ Seanus

peter_olsztynThreads: 8 Posts: 760 Joined: Apr 18, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 11:08 #12
but in England it is not polite to join a couple on a date I can assure you that in Olsztyn it is not polite too ;)

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 11:11 #13
If there were no rules I would have broken his jaw @grubas

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Aug 13, 11, 11:12 #14

Grubas, I see what you are saying. I'm not saying confused82 is this way but I find some English folk too pedantic and anal when it comes to observing etiquette. As ever in life, it's about my favourite word, 'balance'.

Confused, he should really have had more tact. I've had this problem before, getting rid of bad smells. The Poles fall a bit behind when it comes to observing the private space of others. I've had to push some away for that very reason.

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 11:17 #15
I'm developer, so it's in my nature to be both pedantic and anal ;) Although the guy himself was an English guy, so he should have known better in my opinion @seanus

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Aug 13, 11, 11:20 #16

I can assure you that in Olsztyn it is not polite too ;)

Of course it's not polite to do so but as long as the women don't mind me I don't feel like being the 5th wheel.You know what I mean?Screw the guy,free competitions all the way.I once picked up my best buddy's gf because I liked her very much.On the other hand I was never making any drama because of some other dude trying to do the same to me.It's impossible to chain a women to yourself and you got to be always cool.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 11:20 #17
Ah, that changes things a bit then, confused82. She might have thought it was ok to do that, seeing as she was abroad and chatting to a local. Some Polish girls will only talk to you until the next best thing comes along. Be careful!

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 12:51 #18
Yes,polish women do that.Even flirting under your eyes.Usually when they do that I just spot the nearby Russkaya and do the same.Or just whip them.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 13:19 #19
Just whip them, LOL. For pleasure or as a punishment?

smurfThreads: 46 Posts: 660 Joined: Sep 8, 09 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 13:54 #20
I tolerated him for more than 2 hours ah right, I didn't get that from your OP But Seanus has it right here tho try to stop a Polish woman from doing what she wants and you are in for a battle didn't know he was also English, he shoulda known better then

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 14:07 #21
That's tantamount to passive consent. I'd've gotten rid of him before letting him get comfortable.

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Aug 13, 11, 14:58 #22

If I hadn't got so into her too quickly I could have played it cooler, its my fault for liking her too much - I normally don't do this @grubas
That's pretty damning of polish girls @southern
I know what your saying, I was a sloppy sucker @seanus
I think in reality I should have just got up and said you too seem more interested in each other, bye. Oh well never mind, she still not been in touch - not looking promising. I let myself get too angry and then didn't consider the effects of my communication.

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Aug 13, 11, 15:01 #23

Maybe I am a little possessive but when a woman is with me I treat her like a queen and maybe I am a little insecure about this girl, I really like her @grubas

A little possesive???FFS,its the second date!!!! Sorry, any girl would be well wise in steering clear of you as you are the perfect profile of a spousal abuser; controlling,possesive and overly romanticising someone you barely know...............
No,its not normal behaviour in England .

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 15:04 #24
Isthatu2, you are from Yorkshire, right? People have a rep for being more abrasive there. My Scottish friend, a very honest man, found that to be the case. Maybe there is a slight difference in approach between Northerners and Southerners? Would you agree?

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Edited by: confused82 Aug 13, 11, 15:06 #25

I don't normally get like this about chicks to be honest - normally I don't give a f&*k but this one is different, I can't tell you why. Please don't try to pigeon hole me into some stereotype. @isthatus2
I am pretty blunt to be honest and maybe that does come of as abrasive. I find southern people to be maybe a bit more tactful. @seanus
To be honest some of what you guys are saying is probably right, my last relationship was pretty f&%ked up and this the first time I've considered a relationship other than very casual for 3 years

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 15:14 #26
Have you spoken to her since, confused82? If so, with what effect?

confused82Threads: 1 Posts: 30 Joined: Aug 13, 11 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 15:18 #27
She told me she would phone me today, I sent an email this morning to explain my point of view as I feel she didn't listen yesterday when she was angry, also we were drunk and have a different first language. If she rings today - great, if not I will consider the matter closed. @seanus

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Aug 13, 11, 15:21 #28
Fair enough, confused82. Please learn a lesson from this. I've heard countless stories of women moving on when they don't get what they were after.

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Aug 13, 11, 15:22 #29

Isthatu2, you are from Yorkshire, right? People have a rep for being more abrasive there. My Scottish friend, a very honest man, found that to be the case. Maybe there is a slight difference in approach between Northerners and Southerners? Would you agree?

Not sure what you are getting at? Surely in that case he,the presumed southerner would have kept quiet and I the "northener" would be the one advocating him having a pop at the third wheel? Instead its vice versa ....but,actually,no,I wouldnt agree on such a blanket idea,so,some cockernee wide boy is less "abrasive" than Alan Bennet? ;)

To be honest some of what you guys are saying is probably right, my last relationship was pretty f&%ked up and this the first time I've considered a relationship other than very casual for 3 years

Ok,from that comment, I get where you are coming from.....only problem is,Im a geezer,she is a woman on here second date, you may not be what I suggested you sound like,but to her alarm bells would have been blaring.

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Edited by: confused82 Aug 13, 11, 15:24 #30

Life is one long lesson, although I'm not sure what to take from this one yet, what do you see as some of the things I can learn? I try to be as reflective as I can be, but all I can get from this is I shouldn't have gone to that bar, but I'm sure there are other things. @seanus
I'm from yorkshire myself and to be honest am anything but meek. Problem is, in trying to perhaps impress this chick by not reacting to this guy to begin with - I did the opposite and got myself wound up by his presence @Isthatu2

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