What to Expect? My Polish girlfriend wants me to meet her parents.

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Oct 18, 11, 02:16 #1

Hello Everyone,

Used this site for a while for advice on reading past posts and its been great !!! So heres my first post (im sure i will be heckled by some of the argumentative ones i know who you are !!)

Right the time has come to go to Poland my first time !! we both live in England, she moved here 5 years ago so the flght doesnt bother me, its only a few hours if that, just the drive from the airport to her house which is going to be interesting as she doesnt drive, !! Never driven on the wrong side of the road lol,

So we are going to meet my girlfriends parents and family (we have been together 6 months), we booked the flights tonight for the end of january, ive been told the weather is lovely at that time of year !!! thermal underwear has been hinted at, My only reason for posting is to ask anybody who has been in the same situation what to expect ?

Any traditional customs ?
Take her parents a gift (sound like an american with that one lol) ?

Just any info would be great !!!

I know basic phrases, when we first met i thought id better start learning however i have been told by my beloved that its only a small town and hardly anybody speaks English, (she did have a glint in her eye when she said it though lol)

Thanks

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Oct 18, 11, 02:25 #2
few options: she's thinking about getting married and wants her family's approval, or, she's getting a free trip. Either way, just be yourself and enjoy. Look around and see if you could live there. And check out the mother - what they say is true more often than not - daughters do turn into their mothers, eventually.

vivaforeverThreads: 1 Posts: 2 Joined: Oct 18, 11 ♂	Oct 18, 11, 02:37 #3
Shes paid for the trip lol !!! only because ive just brought a house. and in regards to the daughter-mother thing, ive already checked that one out, without sounding bad in anyway whatsoever. So that leaves marriage :-0 !! lol, id marry her tommorrow, unfortunately that will have to wait the house has drained me :-(

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Oct 18, 11, 02:47 #4
Sounds very sweet. You're a goner. :) As far as help with customs - does the family live in a city or coutry? Deninitely flowers for the mother, bottle for the fathers, something little for siblings, couple of presents held back for bribes... ;) Good luck!

vivaforeverThreads: 1 Posts: 2 Joined: Oct 18, 11 ♂	Edited by: vivaforever Oct 18, 11, 02:56 #5
Her family live just outside Skop, so its the country yep it sounds like im a goner lol, thanks for the advice

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Oct 18, 11, 03:47 #6
I don't know that area in particular, but if you're not overtly religious already, you might become soon. ;)

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Oct 29, 11, 13:21 #7

Hi There

I first went to Poland with my then girlfriend roughly 4 years ago, her parents lived in southern Poland in a small village near the Slovakian border. I went there with an "open mind" and did not have any pre-concieved ideas about Poland or the people. What i found were decent people with high levels of manners and respect, something that is truely missing from the UK society at the moment. I regulary come to Poland now, roughly 4 times a year and have visited many cities and walked in Zakopane, Beskidy and recently Biesczstady, Poland is without doubt a stunning country. My advice to you especially if you are going to a village is to show repesct to all especially the elders ( Babcia or Jadek) as they are the real power houses in the close nit family structure also Religion is major and unfortunately nothing will prepare you for it, my advice is to embrace it as it means everything to a Pole.

Oh and for what is is worth i am now married - and i got married in Poland in a traditional mountain ceremony and said my vows in Polish, ok it was not perfect but the repect they gave me for trying made it all the worthwhile, members of my family attended and have made plans to visit again soon. My advice is to go for it and dont make the big mistake of being "too british" and conservative in your views, and enjoy a fantastic country with warm and friendly people.

Hope this helps

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Oct 29, 11, 13:52 #8

vivaforever:

Take her parents a gift (sound like an american with that one lol) ?

Yes, you sound like someone concerned with respecting the customs and mores of a place you are about to visit. Hehehehe
Anyway, flowers for the mother and a bottle for the father seem to be standard. The better the booze the more points you will score. Doesn't have to be Wodka, but if Wodka, Chopin or Bellevedere.
My wife says:
"Firm handshake for the father and kiss mamma's hand." (Corney, maybe, but it worked for me.)
"Eat whatever is offered. And praise to the heavens anything home-cooked."
"If you don't speak Polish, nod, smile, and say OK a lot in response to whatever is said to you."
Also, most Brits seem to think Poles over heat their houses a lot. Even as an American who spent the last 40 years in California I think they over heat a bit.
Oh, and learn to sing "Sto lat". If you're there for more than 3 days an occasion while arise in which it will be appropriate.

♂

Edited by: Wedle Oct 29, 11, 14:01 #9

vivaforever:

So we are going to meet my girlfriends parents and family (we have been together 6 months), we booked the flights tonight for the end of january

What to expect.

The weather will be very cold, so when you hire the car make sure they have included snow chains and shovel in the boot, check the car has winter tyres on. Skop is in Mazury so you could expect a ride on horse driven sleigh in the snow or on the frozen lakes, kielbasa ( sausage) cooked on a fire, hot beer with herbs and honey, mulled wine, fantastic home cooked food. If you are visiting a small village everyone will know you are arriving so be on your best behavior and just be yourself. As someone pointed out your girlfriends grand parents are the one to impress. Presents bring an extra suitcase there will be plenty you want to take back to England.

Let us know how you get on.

Enjoy

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