Help! my polish girlfriend wants me to convert to catholicism

paletro

Dec 9, 10, 21:33 #1

I'm big trouble in... My polish girl with whom I've been 2 years for want me to be catholic and get married! Im muslim from religiion but im love in her and want together to be still. I can not change religion of mine. and cant marry if i need to change. i prefer to stay as muslim good person than having a wife but i love her and maybe we can marry like that: 1 catholic + 1 muslim

question: is it common that polish persons change religion?

question 2: is it common that 1 muslim and one catholic marry in poland? how can one do that!

many thanks to all the good people here.

Best regards

♀

Dec 9, 10, 21:45 #2

paletro:

I'm big trouble in... My polish girl with whom I've been 2 years for want me to be catholic and get married! Im muslim from religiion but im love in her and want together to be still. I can not change religion of mine. and cant marry if i need to change. i prefer to stay as muslim good person than having a wife but i love her and maybe we can marry like that: 1 catholic + 1 muslim

question: is it common that polish persons change religion?

question 2: is it common that 1 muslim and one catholic marry in poland? how can one do that!

many thanks to all the good people here.

Best regards

Don't muslims try to marry within their own kind? What do your parents think of what you are doing? I know muslim parents want their children to marry other muslims. My sister had a friend in college who was a muslim and he had an arranged marriage with another ethnic muslim.

ZedThreads: - Posts: 304 Joined: May 25, 10 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 21:52 #3
For a muslim to marry in a catholic church (without converting) he/she would have to promise that children would be raised as catholics.

paletro	Dec 9, 10, 21:52 #4
what can i say, i falled in love with her... my parents arent happy with this but this woman polish is simplyly the better woman i knew... if i can keep my religion so i marry her can i spend all my live with she, and fight vs all...

♂

Dec 9, 10, 22:07 #5

Turn Catholic ... or atleast turn away from your religion and remain religionless. Its not so bad to be a free thinker ... believe in one God ... but dont bring religion into you. Once you marry to a Pole and start living in Poland your children are either going to be free thinkers or turn to Catholics anyways, so no use trying to protect there and dreaming that they will grow up as muslims. It is not the UK, they will find themselves with no over powering Muslim community surrounding them.

Better to turn to a free thinker and plan to settle in Poland if you love her so much. Otherwise be prepared for an spectacular heart break, and also gear up to be a reason for her getting hurt and in tears.

Its always good to get the priorities right. Where are you from anyways?

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 22:17 #6
Ask her what a Catholic is. When she can't tell you, move back to your own religion with pride :)

dtaylor5632Threads: 49 Posts: 4,459 Joined: May 2, 09 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 22:20 #7
Just do it, its easier to fake than to break up ;)

RichfilthThreads: 8 Posts: 327 Joined: Mar 8, 09 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 22:32 #8
Ask her if she's prepared to do the same thing for you. She can't ask you do to something she wouldn't do herself. Also ask her why she wants to get married. If she replies "that's what Polish girls do" then leave her anyway; she doesn't know what marriage means.

Lodz_The_BoatThreads: 58 Posts: 2,314 Joined: Sep 7, 08 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 22:34 #9
Richfilth: Also ask her why she wants to get married. If she replies "that's what Polish girls do" then leave her anyway Quite an incredible comment this one ... apart from the topic and everything else ... this one is quite ridiculous. So you mean Polish women are crazy because they value marriage? ... =S

♂

Dec 9, 10, 22:36 #10

I have friends in Canada. She is Catholic from Poland and he is Muslim from Lebanon. He knows Polish Catholics very well and he knows that they are very good peaceful people as Muslims. He recognize that Catholic is a very good religion. He decides to foster his san as Catholic because usually mother care about children. To keep man as a consistent person better is to foster him/her in one religion with respect for other peaceful religions.

However if your girl is stubborn convert you to Catholicism then you both have big problem. You cannot change your souls so I cannot see you as a marriage couple. Probably you will stay only as really good friends.

♂

Dec 9, 10, 22:37 #11

Lodz_The_Boat:

So you mean Polish women are crazy because they value marriage?

The statement suggests they get married to conform, submitting to peer pressure, not because they have any understanding of marriage as a set of values. The same way kids start smoking; not because they want to, or because they like tobacco, but just because "everyone else is doing it."

Polish women are crazy enough, no matter what comments I make about them.

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 22:37 #12
Value marriage because society tells them to and that they profit hugely. Come on, Łódź, you see what Richfilth is getting at here, surely. Tell her to convert to Islam and be done with it.

♂

Dec 9, 10, 22:52 #13

Analityk:

Probably you will stay only as really good friends.

Its better than ending up as each other's sore in the heart.

But I wish he was more intelligent and left his identification with any particular religion which makes it very safe. He can submit to one God and do all good stuff. If he already is a non-practicing or moderate muslim ... it shoudnt be a problem. God wont mind I suppose.

Richfilth:

Polish women are crazy enough, no matter what comments I make about them.

I dont agree. They can be very sensible.

By the way ... your logic is not bad ... they should learn about marriage and its importance in life. But marriage is done at an age when people dont submit to peer pressure. Specially a marriage of this kind needs courage and commitment which is not something you get from peer pressure. I can tell you that these kinds of marriages are quite an adventure to have ... and can last if a little fine tuning is done on the way we believe God or call him by a name. Simple thing but not so easy. Plus there are a few other things that slowly get adjusted ... love needs to be there, and both partners need to cooperate with each other. Its a nice thing, you cant know it without being in it ... and its not for everyone to have (neither is love by the way).

Seanus:

Tell her to convert to Islam and be done with it.

You are suggesting him the formula of doom arent you?

If its an unaware suggestion, than its a bad accident ... but if its an aware suggestion, then directing a man sought advices to a black pit is not the nicest thing in the world to do and wont get you any blessings in your own life.

Anyways ... he should never think that converting her will help him. Specially when staying in Poland. Rather he should try to convince her, and if she is not convinced, he should either leave or become a free-thinker which goes well with Poles.

About children ... if they are going to be raised as Poles ... they will either be Catholics or free thinkers ... or chose anything else but Islam (unless they are among the Tatars ... lol).

See friend ... use your brain sometimes too. You are a muslim but your choice is not going to keep it alive in your children as soon as you marry her and start staying in this extremely homogeneous nation.

Stay happy ... and dont live in illusions. Try to leave or make changes in you ... but dont be a reason for her pain as if you love her than this will not let you live peacefully forever.

frdThreads: 8 Posts: 1,956 Joined: Feb 3, 09 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 23:20 #14
Catholics can marry people of other religions... You don't need to convert to have a catholic marriage...

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 23:24 #15
A free thinker goes well with Poles? What??? What, so Islam is the formula of doom and Catholicism isn't?

convexThreads: 46 Posts: 7,185 Joined: Nov 25, 09 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 23:24 #16
Seanus: A free thinker goes well with Poles? If you're under 40,yea.

smurfThreads: 46 Posts: 660 Joined: Sep 8, 09 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 23:26 #17
dtaylor5632: Just do it, its easier to fake than to break up ;) +1 There's no god anyway and love is way more important than some BS about fictional characters

♂

Dec 9, 10, 23:26 #18

You cannot live in a lie. You cannot change your souls. Whoever try to induce you to lie to other person or to you this is an abject person. You cannot act against yourselves and yours feelings. The lie will kill your relationship and will be a source all other conflicts. It makes you very unhappy. Remember that I warned you!
Marriage is devoted to other person and to God. You cannot deceive each other because in front of God you will promise each other to be entirely loyal each other. If you do not, God will punish you and Evil will destroy you.

smurfThreads: 46 Posts: 660 Joined: Sep 8, 09 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 23:30 #19
Analityk: You cannot change your souls can you change something that doesn't exist? Let's get all existential on this.

TrevekThreads: 33 Posts: 2,155 Joined: May 21, 08 ♂	Dec 9, 10, 23:31 #20
frd: You don't need to convert to have a catholic marriage... It might depend on your priest. Ask your imam about it. It is, of course, possible to have a civil wedding with no religious rites.

Ashleys mindThreads: 7 Posts: 1,346 Joined: Nov 2, 10 ♀	Dec 9, 10, 23:36 #21
hmmm, conversion, wedding, and divorce... maybe you can get a discount package!

frdThreads: 8 Posts: 1,956 Joined: Feb 3, 09 ♂	Dec 10, 10, 01:20 #22
Trevek: It might depend on your priest. Ask your imam about it. It is, of course, possible to have a civil wedding with no religious rites. What are you on about? Whose imam? What? Catholic and non-catholics can have a catholic marriage if the non-catholic part will swear certain things... (catholic child-rearing for instance)

♂ [Suspended]

Dec 10, 10, 01:56 #23

frd:

Catholic and non-catholics can have a catholic marriage if the non-catholic part will swear certain things... (catholic child-rearing for instance)

It's not so simple - while most Christians (of recognised denominations) can get married to a Catholic in a Catholic church (like me...) - it would almost certainly take special permission from the Bishop (or even higher) for a Muslim to get married in a Catholic Church. It is doable in some places, but I can't see the conservative Bishops of Poland agreeing to such a thing.

MEMBER ♀

Dec 10, 10, 01:58 #24

Analityk:

You cannot live in a lie. You cannot change your souls. Whoever try to induce you to lie to other person or to you this is an abject person. You cannot act against yourselves and yours feelings. The lie will kill your relationship and will be a source all other conflicts. It makes you very unhappy. Remember that I warned you!
Marriage is devoted to other person and to God. You cannot deceive each other because in front of God you will promise each other to be entirely loyal each other. If you do not, God will punish you and Evil will destroy you.

is it a citation from a Sunday mass or God just signed up to PF?!

King SobieskiThreads: 7 Posts: 1,106 Joined: Jan 22, 07 ♂	Edited by: King Sobieski Dec 10, 10, 04:04 #25
Seanus: Ask her what a Catholic is. When she can't tell you, move back to your own religion with pride :) he could ask himself the same question about being muslim ;)

♂

Edited by: Mr Grunwald Dec 10, 10, 04:14 #26

paletro:

like that: 1 catholic + 1 muslim

If she is that ardently Catholic, maybe join the muslim tatars... Maybe it works? :) (Many Poles have high respect for muslim tatars)

Zed:

For a muslim to marry in a catholic church (without converting) he/she would have to promise that children would be raised as catholics.

yeah

Seanus:

A free thinker goes well with Poles? What??? What, so Islam is the formula of doom and Catholicism isn't?

No, Poles go fine with free thinkerers becaouse they think their doomed and idiots. Other nations that are/was mostly Catholic got more of an missionary attitude. Gotta save them even if they hate it. While Poles... Don't care that much! ;p

Although the example at first post with that Polish girl is... wierd... strange.. wth was she thinking?

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Dec 10, 10, 04:17 #27
Mr Grunwald: No, Poles go fine with free thinkerers becaouse they think their doomed and idiots. isn't it the other way around...... ? ;)

Mr GrunwaldThreads: 34 Posts: 2,358 Joined: Dec 16, 08 ♂	Dec 10, 10, 04:19 #28
pgtx: isn't it the other way around...... No, free thinkers only think Catholics are idiots :) Why would they be doomed?

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Dec 10, 10, 04:21 #29
Mr Grunwald: free thinkers only think Catholics are idiots :) why they would think that? ;)

Mr GrunwaldThreads: 34 Posts: 2,358 Joined: Dec 16, 08 ♂	Dec 10, 10, 04:30 #30
pgtx: why they would think that? ;) Becaouse they think the Catholics belive in an non-existing God Why you asking me obvious things?

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