Inside polish women's psychology and mind

♂

Jun 4, 10, 10:10 #91

nincompoop_not:

PF ;)

..and then?

;)

nincoompoop_not:

feeling like regressing as well :)

I'm not feeling like, I actually am.

xD

shush:

Do you like much younger girls? are u dreaming about red sports cars?

I guess twenty is young enough? Not really, usually a few years younger, my own age or older. No, I'm dreaming about black sports cars, and blondes on the backseat.

;P

shush:

if so then it's called middle age crisis.

Thanks, I was worried something was wrong with me!

pgtx:

work is my plan for now... but a girl and a boy in the future... actually 2 boys would be perfect...

Are you sure? My mother had three boys, and now she's permanently stressed.

;P

♂

Jun 4, 10, 10:59 #92

ydoom:

one of the reasons i know why some woman don't want children is becuase they can't have kids. Can't have kids due to an illness, so once they find out they tell the man they don't wanna have kids. As many men want kids but the thought of not having scares them. This way the woman gives the man the option to find another better woman. This is a delicate situation.

This is another explanation for finding out why some polish girls 'do not want kids'.

♂

Jun 4, 10, 11:39 #93

ydoom:

As many men want kids but the thought of not having scares them.

Many men want kids? Okay. Then why do so many of them keep running away once they have them? I mean, I see a *lot* of single mothers here.

Among the 1,800, 20-somethings surveyed by the Guttmacher Institute, 53 percent of men and 52 percent of women gave this answer. For those 25 and older, it was two-thirds.

I suppose it could be true if you look at studies and surveys, but I still wouldn't us the word many. (I mean, 53% is hardly the majority!) I find it curious that actually more young men wanted children than young women in this survey though, when most people claim the exact opposite.

:)

♀

Jun 4, 10, 15:17 #94

I would imagine Polish women are going through a similar revolution (albeit in a v minor way) as Western Europe in the 60s/70s. It is a kick-out against a very traditional, repressive (to some) culture where the woman is only valued as a woman if she is a perfect mother and home-maker. Children are sometimes used to tie a woman to a home, keep her quiet (tired) and within her role. This way she doesn't threaten the male: she cares for him and the children. He has little involvement in the more arduous aspects of childcare (washing, cleaning, getting up in the night, etc.) - he goes to work in the morning, comes back to his tea (as they would say up North in England - another bastion of similar culture ; ) and then relaxes. He may play with the children for a little while, but soon hands them back to their mother.

The mother shoulders 99% of the practical responsibility for the children, and it is a matter of honour (or has been made so) that she doesn't need help from anyone else - and certainly not the man. She would not be a proper woman if she couldn't 'dac sobie rade' with her children (and home/man). She does have a lot of influence in the home, and general rules the roost, but she is also a workhorse. And, should she ever really step out of line or ask too much of her husband, she may well get the back of a hand to show that she has overstepped the mark, one evening when she has 'driven' him to drink ...

And yet, while she still has no children, the man will be as good as gold, because he needs her, to create his family, and therefore continue the progression of his status in life.

Any wonder some women don't want kids?

OK, a slightly angled view of things there, and some generalisations, but I challenge anyone to prove there is not a kernel of truth. : )

♂

Edited by: A J Jun 4, 10, 15:58 #95

natasia:

And yet, while she still has no children, the man will be as good as gold, because he needs her, to create his family, and therefore continue the progression of his status in life.

That's why I never cared much about status, because girls can also pretend to be something they're not when they feel pressured by their environment. I don't need a plastic existence, thank you.

natasia:

I challenge anyone to prove there is not a kernel of truth. : )

There are a lot of people who seem to think they have to live their lives to please the neighbours. Well, I hate my neighbours.

;P

A-J (Braver than most.)

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	Edited by: southern Jun 6, 10, 12:34 #96
When you meet a polka's mother it is likely you lose interest for her daughter and develop for her mother instead.

SouthMancPolakThreads: 2 Posts: 202 Joined: Apr 10, 10 ♂	Jun 6, 10, 12:44 #97
southern: When you meet a polka's mother it is likely you lose interest for her daughter and develop for her mother instead. Speak for yourself... I don't date coffin-dodgers! :D

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Jun 6, 10, 12:50 #98

A J:

There are a lot of people who seem to think they have to live their lives to please the neighbours. Well, I hate my neighbours.

Great statement with a very funny tail :)

Unfortunately it's true. AJ hates his neighbours. We tried to intermediate, but to no avail. He still hates his neighbours. And the worst thing is, they have done nothing against him, yet he hates them. AJ also can get very angry out of the blue and without any apparent reason.

:)

>^..^<

M-G (oh and indeed there are too many ppl that think other ppl's opinion is more worth than their own)

♂

Edited by: SzwedwPolsce Jun 6, 10, 13:01 #99

natasia:

I would imagine Polish women are going through a similar revolution (albeit in a v minor way) as Western Europe in the 60s/70s. It is a kick-out against a very traditional, repressive (to some) culture where the woman is only valued as a woman if she is a perfect mother and home-maker. Children are sometimes used to tie a woman to a home, keep her quiet (tired) and within her role. This way she doesn't threaten the male: she cares for him and the children. He has little involvement in the more arduous aspects of childcare (washing, cleaning, getting up in the night, etc.) - he goes to work in the morning, comes back to his tea (as they would say up North in England - another bastion of similar culture ; ) and then relaxes. He may play with the children for a little while, but soon hands them back to their mother.

The mother shoulders 99% of the practical responsibility for the children, and it is a matter of honour (or has been made so) that she doesn't need help from anyone else - and certainly not the man. She would not be a proper woman if she couldn't 'dac sobie rade' with her children (and home/man). She does have a lot of influence in the home, and general rules the roost, but she is also a workhorse. And, should she ever really step out of line or ask too much of her husband, she may well get the back of a hand to show that she has overstepped the mark, one evening when she has 'driven' him to drink ...

Earlier it was the man's job to get all the money the family needed, and the woman's job to take care of everything at home.

These days many Polish women work full-time. So the balance of work at home has changed a little. But the basic pattern is still the same.

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	Edited by: southern Jun 6, 10, 13:05 #100
In slavic countries roles of men and women are hopefully wel defined.Women just want to be women and the man has to be the supporter for the game to evolve.No women try to become like men this is the reason you see almost no freaks in slavic countries.

EchoTheCatThreads: 2 Posts: 183 Joined: Jan 20, 10 ♀	Jun 6, 10, 13:18 #101
southern: Women just want to be women So when I want high sallary, live with no marrage and (God forbid!) no children then I'm a freak. That's the stupidest thing I heard today and it's only 1 p.m....

♂

Edited by: SeanBM Jun 6, 10, 13:36 #102

natasia:

I would imagine Polish women are going through a similar revolution (albeit in a v minor way) as Western Europe in the 60s/70s. It is a kick-out against a very traditional, repressive (to some) culture where the woman is only valued as a woman if she is a perfect mother and home-maker.

You are forgetting Poland's communist era, when women were valued members of the workforce.
The separation of the sexes that was evident in the "West" and the sexism associated with it, was not as prevalent here in Poland.
I find this to be a typical cultural mistake, "my culture went through this so 'their' culture must be doing the same".
I find that now in Poland there is a fair amount of ''return to traditional pre-communist values" as a house wife but women in the workforce is certainly nothing new here.

natasia:

Children are sometimes used to tie a woman to a home, keep her quiet (tired) and within her role. This way she doesn't threaten the male: she cares for him and the children.

Again this would not have been the case for the majority of women.
Working in the factories in cities, during communism in Poland, people would leave their kids in daycare facilities or with extended family, grandparents etc...

natasia:

The mother shoulders 99% of the practical responsibility for the children, and it is a matter of honour (or has been made so) that she doesn't need help from anyone else

Although I have noticed that women are the main care takers for the children here in Poland, the family unit is very different being a multi generational extended family as opposed to a nuclear family . With up to 5 generations living under the same roof being the norm here in Poland. Forming a support group and having direct contact with all the living generations and taking care of the children.

natasia:

And, should she ever really step out of line or ask too much of her husband, she may well get the back of a hand to show that she has overstepped the mark, one evening when she has 'driven' him to drink ...

Although domestic violence is as much a problem here as it is in any "Western" country, to make such crass and extreme claims is just preposterous.

natasia:

And yet, while she still has no children, the man will be as good as gold, because he needs her, to create his family, and therefore continue the progression of his status in life.

Now you just sound like a man hater.

Robert AThreads: 2 Posts: 228 Joined: Jul 29, 08 ♂	Jun 6, 10, 13:47 #103
"Inside polish women's . . ." . . . panties . . . mniem, mniem :D lol I know . . . I'm a dirty ol' man!!!!! ;)

♂

Edited by: southern Jun 6, 10, 13:51 #104

EchoTheCat:

So when I want high sallary, live with no marrage and (God forbid!) no children then I'm a freak. That's the stupidest thing I heard today and it's only 1 p.m....

When I say freak I mean freak for example girls full of tatoos piercings in mouth and eybrows or shaved hair with 3 different colours etc.Freaks,metrosexualism are celebrated in the West because they make invisible the gap between men and women.Freaks etc are not well tolerated in Poland like every other deviation which threatens the traditional roles.
For example a scandinavian girl full of painful piercings shows how much power a female has to tolerated such pain and in Germany girls acting weak are described as "Weibchen."

zoolu

Jun 12, 10, 21:56 #105

Wroclaw Boy:

she even plays like she's choking to get our attention

Smart child. Manipulative children are usually very smart, especially if they can work out how to manipulate at a very early age, even better. She will probably grow up to be very independent, self-disciplined and know exactly what she wants.

In teenage years you will have less problems with a child who knows what they want, than a child who is ruled by peer pressure. It is hard in the small stages of their life but it pays off when they reach teenage stage. ie they don't fall for the sob story and are not easily taken in. You should be proud. I should know.

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Oct 7, 10, 16:22 #106
so much bashing of Polish women on this forum... we can't be that bad... :(

FlaglessPoleThreads: 7 Posts: 1,394 Joined: Aug 19, 10 ♂	Oct 7, 10, 16:27 #107
pgtx: so much bashing of Polish women on this forum... we can't be that bad... :( ah, c'mon it's not so bad, it only gets iffy when you guys turn girlfriends ;D

pgtxThreads: 49 Posts: 6,327 Joined: Feb 14, 09 MEMBER ♀	Oct 7, 10, 16:30 #108
FlaglessPole: ah, c'mon it's not so bad, it only gets iffy when you guys turn girlfriends ;D yeah... i'm gonna go cry a little bit... brb... ;(

alexw68

Oct 7, 10, 16:32 #109

pgtx:

so much bashing of Polish women on this forum... we can't be that bad... :(

You very definitely aren't. Forgive the crass generalisation, but: from my experience you're unconventional, gorgeous, outspoken and loving like no other. (You might want to work on your self-esteem a bit, sometimes, though).

(Dives into the air-raid shelter ahead of the fusillades of accusations of stereotyping :) ... )

Barr_2009Threads: 1 Posts: 280 Joined: Oct 11, 09 ♂	Oct 7, 10, 18:59 #110
maybe it's just that quite a few people who had a bad experience with them flock here in the need to speak about it, otheres having a good experience don't feel a need to talk about it.

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