Long-distance attraction. I am attracted to a Polish guy.

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Mar 5, 10, 09:58 #1

I was into this technology program that I had the chance to meet and work with a Polish guy for a month. Initially, we introduced each other, went out to the city with the rest of the team. Sometime on the 2nd week of being in the program, I noticed how nice and cute he was. His way of thinking, and sense of direction were really straight forward. He loves to see a lot of places and take pictures. I would also go with him at times. But basically, as new colleagues.

Near to the end of the program, we had a party, and only then I got to casually talk to him. We even danced and we both had fun. He said it would have been better if we had this party earlier so everyone would know each other more, as we are now. But that was the culminating party. And then we had to part ways (end of program).

Now, I'm back at work, in Asia. And he will be back in Poland soon. I sent him text messages regarding my trip back, but he didn't reply. Then, I received a missed call from him. When I called back, we talk for awhile and he said we will keep in touch once he is back in Poland. We are both not attached, and are in our early 30s. There were times when I could have talked with him or flirted with him when we were together in the program, but I just couldn't do it. I was shy.

Now, I know we could probably be chattin' or keepin' in touch once in a while (maybe 2 weeks from now). I'd like to hear from this forum, How do I let him know that I like him? how do I confirm that he likes me too, especially now we are far from each other? What do I do or say to him so he will be able to understand my feelings and thoughts? I know this may sound simple and basic to some, but I'd be glad to hear advices on how to deal with Polish guys who I am attracted with, and now far from me? If everything works out well, I wouldn't mind taking another leave from work to meet up or travel with him sometime soon. I think I am falling for him.

thanks in advance.

RubasznyRumcajsThreads: 9 Posts: 283 Joined: Mar 29, 08 ♂	Mar 5, 10, 10:58 #2
/me would give anything to attract a 30 yo asian lady ;) but seriously: use skype

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Mar 5, 10, 11:16 #3

@RubasznyRumcajs: thanks for the reply!

He has already added me into his skype list (and I've added him too), but I will be able to chat with him in 2weeks time. He is still out on vacation.

Just that, I will be able to chat with him as friends... but I wish I can do more or say more to see whether he is into me or not. He has mentioned that he is not committed now, but I'm not quite sure whether he will be open to like Asian women.

If we start chatting in skype, how do i get to tell him that I like him? do polish guys like it when women are direct? just wondering... advise pls.

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Mar 5, 10, 11:37 #4

If you use skype make sure you both use a camera; I use skype 5-7 times a week as I travel for a living and I noticed that eye contact - not staring but being able to see facial expressions, etc really makes a difference in getting close to someone.

PS. Also, tell him you're a nympho (your screen name ;) and that alone might be enough to catch his attention. LOL

Seriously though, don't think of his as being a Polish man, think of him as being a man and unfortunatel for you - we are all different. Do what feels right and what your gut tells you. Personally I like forward women (my ex-wife proposed to me :). Her being an ex-wife was my screw up, I still cherish the memory of her proposing to me. Of course by then we had known eachother for some time.

So first get to know eachother, if one subject feels slow, move on to something else, etc. Make him want to hear from you or him wanting to skype/email you again. Ultimately, be yourself because if he falls for someone who pretends to be someone else - that relationship probably won't last.

So put on a nice black dress (just my favorite, you do what you like of course) and talk and smile a lot and hope for the best.

Don't worry about whether he's open to Asian women - you either fall for someone or you don't. Remember, no matter where a woman was born and raised - she is still from Venus. :)

Wish y'all the best!

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Mar 5, 10, 11:56 #5

@skysoulmate: thanks for the reply too...

If ever we ge to start chatting, i can do webcams too.. just that, I'm not so sure whether his way of saying, "we'll keep in touch" is just for politeness sake, or for real.

I'll wait and see... :) Anyway, .. the nymph screen name was derived from the ancient myth, not the modern connotation :) in ancient myth, nymphs were believed to live in places away from humans.... tantamount to living on my own bubble in the modern world, i guess :)

thanks for the advise! I'll update u guys!

beckskiThreads: 19 Posts: 2,148 Joined: May 15, 07 MEMBER ♀	Mar 5, 10, 16:03 #6
nymph888: I think I am falling for him. That's easy to do, when the circumstances include a charming Polish guy. Good luck! A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Mar 5, 10, 16:19 #7
Let me wish you luck too....I am an Englishman living in Poland who has just began a romance with a Russian lady in Moscow , so i know something of long distance romance... If its meant to be...then it will happen , no matter what the age , distance or nationality is...just take it slow...and enjoy it... good luck to you...

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Mar 5, 10, 16:25 #8

beckski:

That's easy to do, when the circumstances include a charming Polish guy. Good luck!

For a month that I've known him, there were times when he was charming. Though there were times too that he is rather aloof, or went on by himself. He sometimes have this stoic facial expression that makes me wonder, "is smiling really a hard thing to do?" :) Though, I've also seen him smile or even laugh when he talked about something funny. That made me think that probably, he just didnt get some of the jokes on the table sometimes... i hope my analysis was correct :)

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Mar 5, 10, 16:41 #9

wildrover:

Let me wish you luck too....I am an Englishman living in Poland who has just began a romance with a Russian lady in Moscow , so i know something of long distance romance...

If its meant to be...then it will happen , no matter what the age , distance or nationality is...just take it slow...and enjoy it...

good luck to you...

Hi Wildrover...thannks much! I believe your case is rather in an advanced state that where I am now... at least you are in a romantic relationship...:)

I was too shy to show or even talk to him about how i felt when we were still together in the program... that was a month of chance, but I was hesitant. This could be due to my asian background, where by tradition, women will wait for the guy to approach her, not the other way around. Yet, I do not have anything against women doing the first move in our time now, but I don't have the confidence to do it yet...

so i just sat by and watch things unfold. But I was unfortunate that a month's time is not enough for things to develop... probably there was not initial attracted to me... though I can see he took care of me during some eventful moment when I needed him, as well as, I can see in his face that he was glad to be with me during the party. I hope it was not just because of alcohol supply... hahaha...

There were sweet stare and glances too, but because we were always surrounded by colleagues, I can't really see things in good perspective. I may just be reading him too much now...

The anticipation to chat with him is worst that the actual chattin'.... it makes me always wonder... urghh.. i just cant stop thinking...

Lastly, on our last talk over the phone, when I asked him if he misses me.. he replied after 2 seconds, "Yes". I can't be sure whether he was just being polite, or, that he really misses me...

Additional question: Would the guy be pissed if a woman who, out of nowhere, starts to send him short messages, like, "Have a great day.. I hope you enjoyed ur vacation in ... " when like, a week ago, he didnt even think this can happen?

Wow, i sound soooo eager, when I can only talk to him 2 weeks from now... that will also depend on whether he will reply to my chat messages... even now, he doesnt reply to text messages... i'm just consoling myself to think probably because he is on roaming and charges can be costly... well...i hope i'm right.. :)

Nevertheless, thanks for the wishes... i hope things will turn out well when I chat with him...haaa....time will tell... :)

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Mar 5, 10, 17:35 #10
He might be thinking just the same things..? time will tell , you will find out soon enough....You could always just take all your courage.and tell him how you feel....better to find out now if you are chasing the impossible , rather than let it build up for a long time...and be disapointed...

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Mar 5, 10, 22:50 #11

nymph888:

@skysoulmate: thanks for the reply too...
If ever we ge to start chatting, i can do webcams too.. just that, I'm not so sure whether his way of saying, "we'll keep in touch" is just for politeness sake, or for real. I'll wait and see... :)

I must say it's slightly amusing for me to see that women too go through the very same anxieties as we do when it comes to falling for someone...

nymph888:

... the nymph screen name was derived from the ancient myth, not the modern connotation :) in ancient myth, nymphs were believed to live in places away from humans.... tantamount to living on my own bubble in the modern world, i guess :)

Yeah, I actually remembered that, I love ancient mythologies, be it Greek, Roman or Nordic... However, please let me stick to my, more modern interpretation of the meaning of the word... It's more appealing to me. :)

nymph888:

thanks for the advise! I'll update u guys!

You're welcome and please do...

---------

nymph888:

...I was too shy to show or even talk to him about how i felt when we were still together in the program... that was a month of chance, but I was hesitant. This could be due to my asian background, where by tradition, women will wait for the guy to approach her, not the other way around. Yet, I do not have anything against women doing the first move in our time now, but I don't have the confidence to do it yet...

Well, I feel the same way you do although I'm a man. Screw traditions and create your own.

nymph888:

...The anticipation to chat with him is worst that the actual chattin'.... it makes me always wonder... urghh.. i just cant stop thinking...

Lastly, on our last talk over the phone, when I asked him if he misses me.. he replied after 2 seconds, "Yes". I can't be sure whether he was just being polite, or, that he really misses me...

Unfortunate, you won't know until you both have talked to each other... IF you have to you can always email him a link to this forum conversation and let him know, hey this is about you - I was too shy to say it upfront, let me know what you think.

nymph888:

Additional question: Would the guy be pissed if a woman who, out of nowhere, starts to send him short messages, like, "Have a great day.. I hope you enjoyed ur vacation in ... " when like, a week ago, he didnt even think this can happen?

Additional reply - would you be pissed if a guy was pissed at you for doing the very same? I bet not, why would you? Because someone shows interest in you? STOP thinking what a guy would think and think of what you would think. Men and women are more similar than you think, if you think you'd like something chances are he would do. If not, oh well, at least you tried.

nymph888:

Wow, i sound soooo eager, when I can only talk to him 2 weeks from now... that will also depend on whether he will reply to my chat messages... even now, he doesnt reply to text messages... i'm just consoling myself to think probably because he is on roaming and charges can be costly... well...i hope i'm right.. :)

You don't sound too eager, you sound like a lady falling for a man. Remember that you can send SMS via skype, often but not always it's cheaper that way.

AmathystThreads: 30 Posts: 3,968 Joined: Nov 10, 06 ♀	Mar 5, 10, 22:57 #12
skysoulmate: I must say it's slightly amusing for me to see that women too go through the very same anxieties as we do when it comes to falling for someone... You mean it took a thread on a forum to realise? We all have the same feelings and emotitions...

skysoulmateThreads: 41 Posts: 3,039 Joined: Jan 10, 10 ♂	Mar 5, 10, 23:03 #13
Amathyst: You mean it took a thread on a forum to realise? We all have the same feelings and emotitions... No, not really but I guess I always felt women were better at hiding their emotions in that aspect...

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Mar 5, 10, 23:19 #14

nymph888:

... Though there were times too that he is rather aloof, or went on by himself. He sometimes have this stoic facial expression that makes me wonder, "is smiling really a hard thing to do?" :) ...

I missed this comment in my earlier reply.

I was born in Poland, raised in Sweden and Norway and have lived in the US for 18 years or so... I travel for a living and usually spend 2 weeks out of each month in Asia usually traveling through a plethora of countries during that time.

I must say your comment surprised me somewhat. In my view, Americans (and here I mean North Americans, US and Canada) smile the most although the Southerners in the US even more so than others - I love it!

Europeans in general smile less, they seem to value "looking professional" maybe? Asians however smile the least of any culture I've been exposed to.

I'd say Philipinos might be the exception to the rule but whether in Red China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, etc... They just don't smile a whole lot. Well, Thailand is probably the other exception to the rule.

I always venture outside the touristy areas and go to places locals use to get the feel of the "real" country so my perception is not based on fake "let's be nice to the tourists" smiles. One of my favorite things is to just sit in a cafe somewhere, or a tiny dine-in and observe the locals (without staring) and see with my own eyes how they all interact with each other. Often it's better than going to a movie theater. LOL

Note this is not an argument for what's better? Neither am I saying people are this or people are that - it's just my very unscientific observation I've collected over the years and I bring it up because I was surprised to hear an Asian lady make a comment that a European man didn't smile as much as she'd have expected him to do, that's all. ;)

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Mar 5, 10, 23:25 #15

skysoulmate:

No, not really but I guess I always felt women were better at hiding their emotions in that aspect...

Yeah, thats why women get called stalkers too..cause they're really good at hiding their emotions :D Look, we all think the same, but these days too many games and second guessings causes problems...

skysoulmate:

2 weeks out of each month in Asia usually traveling through a plethora of countries during that time.

Asia? This is going to sound awful, but I know of no Polish guys (albeit limited) who find asian - Pakisanti/Indian women attractive but they find Japanese, Chinese and Korean women very easy on the eye...

♂

Mar 5, 10, 23:40 #16

Amathyst:

...Yeah, thats why women get called stalkers too..cause they're really good at hiding their emotions :D Look, we all think the same, but these days too many games and second guessings causes problems...

You're right; I'm still hoping for this "Man to Woman" and Woman to Man" dictionary. ;)

Amathyst:

Asia? This is going to sound awful, but I know of no Polish guys (albeit limited) who find asian - Pakisanti/Indian women attractive but they find Japanese, Chinese and Korean women very easy on the eye...

It does sound sort of awful but I always appreciate honesty.

I think Polish men (and women) are not as used to other cultures yet. This is not a criticism, just an observation. Americans often get based overseas when in the military so their exposure to Asian (and other) cultures is just much wider.

I have numerous friends who've met their loved ones overseas. Even some lady friends. Personally I can find beauty in each and every race. I'm probably more attracted to personalities than types of beauties per se but yes I've definitely seen some beautiful Indian women. I have never been to Pakistan but have met a nurse practitioner here in the States who's of Pakistani origin and in my view she's gorgeous.

My best friend married a Japanese lady (who was raised in Brasil LOL) and their two daughters must be the prettiest children I've ever seen - to me they look like mini-versions of Angelina Jolie (yes, I'm an aficionado of her looks ;)

I don't very often endorse the French but I wholeheartedly support their "Vive la différence" outlook on life.

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Mar 5, 10, 23:51 #17

skysoulmate:

and their two daughters must be the prettiest children I've ever seen

One of my close friends is Chinese (Hong konger) and his wife is English and thier kids are out of this world..their middle (little girl) they call Boo (nick name) becaus she looks like Boo off monsters Inc! If ever there was mix its oriental and european...

skysoulmate:

You're right; I'm still hoping for this "Man to Woman" and Woman to Man" dictionary. ;)

Trust me...we all think the same...if ya not interested..you dont call, if you're interested you call...what gets me is this...how long do I leave it before I call...Such is life!

♂

Edited by: skysoulmate Mar 5, 10, 23:53 #18

Amathyst:

Trust me...we all think the same...if ya not interested..you dont call, if you're interested you call...what gets me is this...how long do I leave it before I call...Such is life!

Well, there've been times I wanted to call but didn't dare to... Big Chicken that I can be sometimes... :(

Amathyst:

One of my close friends is Chinese (Hong konger) and his wife is English and thier kids are out of this world..their middle (little girl) they call Boo (nick name) becaus she looks like Boo off monsters Inc!

Monsters Boo, like her?

...but that's good, isn't it? She looks great to me. Maybe I misunderstood your post...

nymph888Threads: 3 Posts: 43 Joined: Mar 5, 10 ♀	Mar 6, 10, 01:25 #19
skysoulmate: Yeah, I actually remembered that, I love ancient mythologies, be it Greek, Roman or Nordic... However, please let me stick to my, more modern interpretation of the meaning of the word... It's more appealing to me. :) Cool :)

AmathystThreads: 30 Posts: 3,968 Joined: Nov 10, 06 ♀	Edited by: Amathyst Mar 6, 10, 01:40 #20
skysoulmate: but that's good, isn't it? She looks great to me. Maybe I misunderstood your post... No, thats exactly how she looks..she's a beauty! skysoulmate: Well, there've been times I wanted to call but didn't dare to... Big Chicken that I can be sometimes... :( Same here..thankfully most men take the initiative..

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Mar 6, 10, 01:44 #21

skysoulmate:

Unfortunate, you won't know until you both have talked to each other... IF you have to you can always email him a link to this forum conversation and let him know, hey this is about you - I was too shy to say it upfront, let me know what you think.

hmm.. :) how would you feel if someone you're not interested to, chatted with you, and later sent you this link? well, probably, i'll send this as good-bye email if things don't turn out well. :)

♀

Edited by: nymph888 Mar 6, 10, 02:00 #22

skysoulmate:

Europeans in general smile less, they seem to value "looking professional" maybe? Asians however smile the least of any culture I've been exposed to.

I'd say Philipinos might be the exception to the rule but whether in Red China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, India, etc... They just don't smile a whole lot. Well, Thailand is probably the other exception to the rule.

hmm :) i am one of the exception to the rule.

I'm an immigrant to north america, but I'm staying here in asia for work. I've managed different projects (in asia) and worked with people of different cultures, and I would still bring the smile i've grown up with :)

Amathyst:

Asia? This is going to sound awful, but I know of no Polish guys (albeit limited) who find asian - Pakisanti/Indian women attractive but they find Japanese, Chinese and Korean women very easy on the eye...

i'm neither of those mentioned :)

AmathystThreads: 30 Posts: 3,968 Joined: Nov 10, 06 ♀	Mar 6, 10, 02:16 #23
nymph888: hmm :) i am one of the exception to the rule. I dont think so, I live in England in a city called Manchster and we have 1,000s of Asians (oriental) and the girls and boys are always smiling..Generally when shopping :D and eating out in restaurants and just walking down the street...The girls are always really trendy too...actually the boys are in to high fashion as well

♀

Edited by: nymph888 Mar 6, 10, 02:23 #24

Amathyst:

I dont think so, I live in England in a city called Manchster and we have 1,000s of Asians (oriental) and the girls and boys are always smiling..Generally when shopping :D and eating out in restaurants and just walking down the street...The girls are always really trendy too...actually the boys are in to high fashion as well

When I say exception, i refer to skysoulmate's note earlier that there are 2 more races in Asia who do smile more than the rest of the asians mentioned above :)

skysoulmate:

Personally I can find beauty in each and every race. I'm probably more attracted to personalities than types of beauties per se

That's really sweet to hear. I feel the same way too, after having traveled to different places in asia, north america and europe for work. The food choices, beliefs, cultural differences fascinate me more and more. Traveling indeed made me appreciate the differences in each individual!

Though, when it comes to falling for someone... i'm just back to basics :) I guess I've spent too much time in work that now, i sound so naive in this matter and i had to post it up! :)

skysoulmate:

I was surprised to hear an Asian lady make a comment that a European man didn't smile as much as she'd have expected him to do, that's all. ;)

hahaha... i think probably i was reading him tooo much :) well, if you like someone you'd always want to see how he'd look like when he's happy isn't it? :) for now, since we are far from each other, I would be glad to know if he smiles while chatting with me.. but my first wish, is for him to keep in touch (e.g. chat) with me first in 2 weeks' time :) hahaha... a wish tantamount to hitting the moon! oh well...

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Mar 6, 10, 02:28 #25

nymph888:

When I say exception, i refer to skysoulmate's note earlier that there are 2 more races in Asia who do smile more than the rest of the asians mentioned above :)

So where abouts in Asia are you from?

nymph888:

That's really sweet to hear. I feel the same way too, after having traveled to different places in asia, north america and europe for work. The food choices, beliefs, cultural differences fascinate me more and more

nymph888:

more. Traveling indeed made me appreciate the differences in each individual!

I wish it were people like you that came to England.

nymph888:

Though, when it comes to falling for someone... i'm just back to basics :) I guess I've spent too much time in work that now, i sound so naive in this matter and i had to post it up! :)

All men and women are the same...same needs and wants...

♀

Edited by: nymph888 Mar 6, 10, 02:38 #26

Amathyst:

So where abouts in Asia are you from?

I was born in the Philippines. And have lived in Singapore and Canada for the past decade now. :) Though people in Singapore do not smile a lot, it's a good place to work especially in IT and banking industries :)

Amathyst:

I wish it were people like you that came to England.

I wish i can come by too, but there is no plan for now. The company that I work for has presence in the UK, and I know some friends from there (from Manchester too). We kept in touch as well..

♀

Edited by: Amathyst Mar 6, 10, 02:43 #27

nymph888:

I was born in the Philippines.

So imagine you are very pretty, so, I dont think he was being just polite ;0) Be honest, you're obviously a very inteligent lady who has a lot going for her...take the bull by the horns..so to speak! Good luck!

nymph888:

I wish i can come by too, but there is no plans for expansion in England for now (work-wise). Well, I did have some friends from there, he's from Manchester too, and he is such a funny, handsome guy :)

One of our Grad Engineers is from Indonesia, she such a sweetie...Hey, we're nice people in Manchester, whilst sometimes I come across harsh about certain issues, I welcome anyone to my country who is wordly, open minded..and not insular...I have to say, we have more than our fair share of good looking men in Manchester! I love my city!

♀

Edited by: nymph888 Mar 6, 10, 02:51 #28

Amathyst:

So imagine you are very pretty, so, I dont think he was being just polite ;0) Be honest, you're obviously a very inteligent lady who has a lot going for her...take the bull by the horns..so to speak! Good luck!

hey thanks for the encouragement. But I can only start doing something, or, to find out whether he was just being polite, when he is back to Poland in, say, 2 week's time..

well, does anyone know or have been to Bydgoszcz? He is from there :) I've searched in the net to find the culture and the likes of Bydgozczcin, but I can't find much info. :) Maybe if things will work out will, i can take another short vacation and fly there in the next 2months :) As Amathyst has said, take the bull by the horns :)

Amathyst:

One of our Grad Engineers is from Indonesia, she such a sweetie...Hey, we're nice people in Manchester, whilst sometimes I come across harsh about certain issues, I welcome anyone to my country who is wordly, open minded..and not insular...I have to say, we have our more than fair share of good lucking men in Manchester! I love my city!

I believe you, though I haven't been there, i've had some interactions with some. My colleagues who are based there, are just as nice and dependable. And funny too, in an intelligent way :) I believe that you have good looking men as well. Inside and out :)
Well, i think it applies everywhere, yah. There are always good and bad in every place...

I just hope I'll find a good one to settle and be with for the rest of my life.. so that no time will be wasted, and every minute is worth spending :) Cheers!

♀

Mar 6, 10, 02:58 #29

nymph888:

Bydgoszcz

There might be someone off here that comes from there, it rings a bell, but you only get their perspective...other than that you can google and find out what the population is...I think places like Krakow and other touristy places are well represented on the web, otherwise its basic info like any other city in the world thats not really on the "map"

You need to ask him what its like..

nymph888:

to find out whether he was just being polite, when he is back to Poland in, say, 2 week's time..

Promise to keep us posted..obviously not in any great detail.. but it would nice to hear something positive...

nymph888:

hey thanks for the encouragement.

You know what, we get so many slime balls on here...its so nice to have thread with such a sincer tone..I wish you well..

♂

Mar 6, 10, 03:02 #30

From a male point of view we don't like games or confusing communication. Just tell us how you feel.

Long distance relationships are not like normal ones and you can never really know someone until you have lived with them for some time. You can talk and learn things but until you live it you can't really know them because everyone says things but their true actions are another. Their habits, hygiene, true personality come out once they have dropped their guard...THAT'S when you find out if you are compatible.

In short. Stop making such a big deal out of it and talk to him. So what if he doesn't like it? You never have to talk to him again and he clearly wasn't right for you anyway. People make things way more complicated than they need to be.

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