Long-distance relationships

Paul	Feb 14, 07, 10:41 #1
hi i was just wondering if anyone has got a girlfriend or boyfriend from another country, i am british and my girlfriend is polish and im just wondering if anyone else out there is in the same kind of situation?

Sparky359Threads: 6 Posts: 52 Joined: Jan 7, 07 ♂	Feb 14, 07, 10:56 #2
Yeap, certainly am. Mine went home last Autumn, and we've gotten together every month. We've had our ups and downs, but it seems ok. She really appreciated my Valentines gift, was just smiling knowing how happy she would be when she saw the delivery van turning up and dropping off her gift this morning :-)

RanjThreads: 27 Posts: 1,286 Joined: Sep 29, 06 ♀	Feb 14, 07, 10:57 #3
Hi Paul, You will find a few on here who are having LDRs, and it seems to work for them. I guess it just depends on the level of commitment both people have as to whether or not it works out. Long distance relationships are a lot of work, but they can work out!

♂

Feb 14, 07, 11:00 #4

Quoting: Ranj

You will find a few on here who are having LDRs, and it seems to work for them. I guess it just depends on the level of commitment both people have as to whether or not it works out. Long distance relationships are a lot of work, but they can work out!

Right right

Quoting: Paul

i am british and my girlfriend is polish and im just wondering if anyone else out there is in the same kind of situation?

Not too bad. Try being in the US and having a GF in Polanmd. At least you can fly to her on weekends. Got it better than me

You can make it work as long as you have the most important element...trust. Good luck.

daffyThreads: 40 Posts: 2,119 Joined: Feb 5, 07 ♂	Feb 14, 07, 11:40 #5
yea, im from Ireland and she is from Poland, it is hard but it works as we love each other and are committed to spend this time apart now so that we can be together in the future! It wont be forever the LDR if you put the love in!

Paul	Feb 14, 07, 11:58 #6
thanks for the comments, im very sure it will work out for us, and yeah it wont be forever, as soon as summer comes we will be with each other every day again

RanjThreads: 27 Posts: 1,286 Joined: Sep 29, 06 ♀	Feb 14, 07, 12:28 #7
Quoting: Zgubiony You can make it work as long as you have the most important element...trust. Good luck. Listen to Z. He and his love have been together, what, 1 1/2-2 years? We're all just waiting for our invites to the nuptials!

♂

Feb 15, 07, 11:06 #8

Im American and my girlfriend is Polish, from my point of view it all depends on commitment level, maturity, and trust. If you have all of those it isnt impossible. The girl I am with now is the first Ive been with that has inspired all of these characteristics to develop in me as it pertains to our relationship. Im flying over for 9 days soon and cannot stop thinking about it. Best of luck brother.

♀

Feb 15, 07, 11:26 #9

Quoting: jtmWIEN

from my point of view it all depends on commitment level, maturity, and trust.

you are completely right here jtmWIEN

I was thinking about something little bit different.
In my opinion LDR working does not give you guarantee that you will be fine happy couple living together. What is the big deal if the relationship in itself means to be together in the same place at the same time only when it fits to your both schedule?
How long does it make sense to live like that ... together but just from time to time?
Where does it lead to?
Does it give you a chance to build a family?
Is that a real relationship when you cant do things together like just for example have a walk together when you want, go to sleep and you wake up together, go to theatre with the one you love, have a meal together when you feel like that etc etc....?
When do you cross the buttom line when its time to decide to continue and move to next step or stop...

I was in a LDR for almost 2 years and I must admit that I was commited to my partner by my all heart. I loved the time we spent together but I was feeling very lonely when after coming back from work nobody was waiting in the front door....

♂

Feb 15, 07, 12:37 #10

Quoting: Paul

hi i was just wondering if anyone has got a girlfriend or boyfriend from another country,

Yes I am in a LDR with a wonderful Polish lady. It is difficult but in a funny way is also a good filter for potential life partners because you have to show, determination, and committment and lots of love for it to work. If you both do this then it's a good window to the 'real person' inside.
In a normal relationship it is very easy to take someone for granted. I recommend lots of sms and long phone calls. I visit every two weeks for a weekend and the distance makes these moments very special. I think I have spoken and communicated better in this relationship than in any previous one. How many couples actually sit down everyday and talk solidly for one hour? Very few, but in an LDR you do and must.
Somehow a LDR can heighten all your senses both emotionally and physically and it is also very exciting. Eventually the big decision must be made to relocate or not. But you'll know when it's right. Just enjoy the moment and let the future take care of itself.

lzeJa

Feb 16, 07, 04:29 #11

A few months ago I`ve meet a 26 man in Poland, his older half-brohter is about 30. His mother is Polish, his father is English. Both are doctors and making their careers in their own countries. Still together but on distance. I count it`s abot 27 years - so it`s possible.
Worst thing I suppose is not to have own life and position etc... and to be fully depended of partner. That is the reason, I think, it`s easier for women to be "just wife".
Situation - I`m not able to povide a good enought material status to my women is not too comfortable.
In the other situation, when I depend of her - I`d feel myself like a man`s slut...
So... Proposal for all Englih girls - Give us a few years to get the same possition...

lizzylizz	Mar 5, 07, 15:25 #12
can a long distant relationship work?

daffyThreads: 40 Posts: 2,119 Joined: Feb 5, 07 ♂	Mar 5, 07, 16:27 #13
Quoting: lizzylizz can a long distant relationship work? tak, i am in one since Dec 2005. its very hard but the love gets us through it and the fact the two of us know its just till we finish our studies.

pingwinThreads: 3 Posts: 164 Joined: Feb 2, 07 ♀	Mar 6, 07, 08:07 #14
Yes, as long there is LOVE and trust anything is possible.

liz	Mar 6, 07, 18:29 #15
how about if you only just met could had slight language barrier but felt a connection, stay in touch but not that regulary-can it work can anything come out of it or is it a waste of time? Should you let your feelings take over-listento your heart or head? does anyone have an opinion on this?

chyba223	May 30, 07, 15:31 #16
Topic attached on merging: Long Distance Do you think transatlantic relationships can really work? For example, a girl living in America and her significant other in Poland...? A lot of people seem to think that such a set up is destined to fail, but there are those that believe love conquers all :)

♂

May 30, 07, 15:36 #17

Quoting: chyba223

but there are those that believe love conquers all

I'm in that camp. If the relationship is stong it can survive anything. I was in the same position many years ago for three and a half years and just celebrated my silver wedding anniversary. It wasn't easy at times being the other side of the world for long periods and communications technology was nothing compared with what we have today. But when we got together again - I still remember the joy today. So go for it but recognise that you will have to work a little bit harder.

shopgirlThreads: 7 Posts: 1,446 Joined: Apr 6, 07 ♀	May 30, 07, 15:39 #18
I think it depends on the people involved. If there is real caring and maturity in both persons in the relationship, of course it can work. May not be easy, but if you have common goals for the future to focus on, and keep communications open, I think it can work. If you get insecure and jealous/suspicious, then it probably wouldn't survive that kind of attitude.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	May 30, 07, 15:39 #19
Quoting: chyba223 Do you think transatlantic relationships can really work? It can't be much different to a partner being away in the army. There's nothing you can do about it, but you can overcome it.

AvJoeUK	May 30, 07, 15:46 #20
They Can and Cant, I know all too well. If both of you have the right attitude, patience and feel the same strongbond together then yes it can work, but it takes two to tango and If one cant do it, neither can.

angel eyesThreads: 1 Posts: 158 Joined: Apr 20, 07 ♀	May 30, 07, 16:57 #21
yes i do believe it can but only if u know its gonna be for a certain period of time and that eventually u are both gonna be together.

MEMBER ♀

May 30, 07, 19:19 #22

Paul: im just wondering if anyone else out there is in the same kind of situation?

Hi Paul,

I can't say that I've have a long distance relationship with someone out of the country.
However, last summer I had a somewhat long distance relationship with an adorable guy, for approximately three months. He was also Polish by the way. He lives in San Diego, Ca. I would visit him every weekend. The drive took approximately 1 1/2-2hrs. per direction, depending upon the traffic.

At first the relationship was loads of fun. I found myself eagerly awaiting for the weekdays to fly by, so that I could go see my sweetie. After a while, I found I had little time left for myself. I started to neglect my choirs around the house. My yard started to look like a jungle!

After a few months we cut things off, because I seemed to be the one who was always driving out to see him, instead of visa versa. Perhaps the relationship would have worked out more favorable if he were to have driven over to my place more often.

A sincere thanks PF, for putting up with me FIVE terrific years, muah!

MJMThreads: 1 Posts: 5 Joined: Apr 20, 07 ♂	May 31, 07, 13:38 #23
I was involved in one for a few years but in the states. I didn't work for me because of insecurities between us. It may work out with trust, communication, and a plan for the future that you both agree on.

tikaThreads: 1 Posts: 8 Joined: Mar 8, 10 ♀	Mar 9, 10, 08:58 #24
hi there I am Georgian girl and I think , sometimes it works . well i have same situation here , I am in relationship with turkish guy who lives in turkey, we are talking in msn . I know him 2 year and think that is cool guy. I really want , our relation become in serious. maybe I will meet him someday.

♂

Edited by: Varsovian Mar 9, 10, 14:23 #25

My wife and I had to do with meeting once a year or so.

Telephones didn't really work - once took me 26 hours to get a connection through the operator ... and she'd just gone out! What made it worse was that I was phoning from a public phonebox in the street!

Letters took an age to get to her - but she wrote back immediately. She had UK stamps and got strangers at warsaw airport to post me letters on arrival at London .

Long-distance relationships almost never survive - but we got so sick of the hassle involved we got married quickly although we barely knew each other - and that was 20 years ago!

♂

Apr 1, 10, 19:48 #26

long distance relations are better for some girls as they prefer to avoid contacts before long term relations. it is easier for them to keep the guys away who they dont like. many of such girls are already fed up by being stalked, controlled, etc either by their fathers or by their brothers or by other guys within the same town. internet gives a chance for them, but, we males have serious problems..

espanaThreads: 40 Posts: 2,233 Joined: Feb 28, 07 ♂	Apr 2, 10, 00:49 #27
Paul: Long-distance relationships - do they work? yes they do work ,but dont complain if 100 men shagged your girlfriend.

♂

Edited by: voice of reason Apr 2, 10, 00:58 #28

Actually, the UK, US and most Western forces provide married quarters and have done for many years, even some Northern Ireland tours provided accomodation for families, the only time families are seperated are when someone is sent on active service when let's face it, if someones on the front line they've got enough on their minds without a lot of trivial domestic nonsense. (this was in response to someone but I screwed up the quote bit!)

CrowThreads: 367 Posts: 7,316 Joined: Feb 14, 07 ♂ [Suspended]	Edited by: Crow Apr 2, 10, 01:06 #29
No. People like sex and tend to have sex relatively often

king polkagamon	Apr 2, 10, 01:18 #30
Yes,they work.When I am with the same woman for more than three days I get bored.The same she will get bored if she sees me all the time while apart we keep mystery(and women feel guilty when cheating and don't judge you,very important).

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Long-distance relationships - do they work?