Looking for relationships online....

RockyMasonThreads: 23 Posts: 303 Joined: Nov 20, 07 ♂	Edited by: RockyMason Feb 21, 08, 00:31 #1
Does any1 agree with me that if some1 is looking online for a GF/BF they are a little pathetic? I mean if ur looking for a relationship get off ur ass go out where u live and find that person don't sit on ur ass and look for convience on the boob tube lol.

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Feb 21, 08, 00:40 #2

Yeah, its a bit of a cliche do it that way.
I do know people who have met through online dating and they are still together 5 years down the line. But i bet there are plenty people who have failed at it and dont admit to using the internet.
lol

It is a bit sad though. Theres no substitue for going out and meeting people.
I suppose we live in a different age now where people can hide behind their computer screens and develop a different personality.

Strange..

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Feb 21, 08, 00:49 #3

Hey, I think it is a great way to meet people. For me, I work 3rd shift in a hotel where the people are out of town guests. I dislike dating fellow employees and feel that in a bar, I might go by looks alone. Online as in person, people can make up stuff, but you get to know them. And online, you write a bit and get to know if you like the same things. I have met my current boyfriend that way and made lots of nice friends. I fail to see how it is pathetic at all. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince and the numbers are on your side online.

GlimThreads: 5 Posts: 34 Joined: Feb 13, 08 ♂	Feb 21, 08, 00:53 #4
Some good points there, but i would rather detect honesty in a potential partner by meeting them in person and judging their responses. Your right online people CAN make up stuff, only if they're being honest can you benefit from it by talking about what you like dislike etc.. It can work but its different for everyone. Whatever works!!

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Edited by: Softsong Feb 21, 08, 01:06 #5

Yes, meeting in person is important. Yet, people can make up stuff even when you have met through traditional ways. Either way, whether you meet online or meet in everyday life, you have to spend a lot of face time together.

For the internet, I have always met the guy in a public, neutral place after seeing if we connect through what we say. Sometimes, when people meet in person, they have a strong sexual connection and they spend most of their intial time between the sheets and not really getting to know he person.

I like meeting online first, writing and revealing more about who you are, what your hopes and dreams are, etc. Then, yes...spend time together. It takes time to see someone's character.

Like you, I think both ways can and do work great. But for some, the internet is more convenient. I know it dramatically opens up a pool of people I might not meet otherwise. There is no reason to put down either way of meeting IMO. :-)

JacekinLAnNYThreads: - Posts: 28 Joined: Feb 10, 08 ♂	Feb 21, 08, 02:53 #6
Not pathetic at all. Maybe there is not a very big selection where the person lives? Maybe the people are idiots? Regardless, you can reach out a lot further online. It all depends how you want to approach it. Its 2008 and people have caught up with technology. Its not pathetic at all.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Feb 21, 08, 04:13 #7
RockyMason wrote: Does any1 agree with me that if some1 is looking online for a GF/BF they are a little pathetic? For many people the internet is their way of socializing, MySpace, Facebook etc. I don't see why people can't develop relationships on the net. Of course, it involves some common sense.

BubbaWooThreads: 46 Posts: 4,438 Joined: Sep 26, 06 ♂	Feb 21, 08, 04:17 #8
RockyMason wrote: Does any1 agree with me that if some1 is looking online for a GF/BF they are a little pathetic? you really are a bit of a clown me ol china

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Feb 21, 08, 04:55 #9

RockyMason wrote:

Does any1 agree with me that if some1 is looking online for a GF/BF they are a little pathetic? I mean if ur looking for a relationship get off ur ass go out where u live and find that person don't sit on ur ass and look for convience on the boob tube lol.

Depends how you do it. Joining a dating site is fine, placing random messages on various websites is desparate. Its the same difference as chatting to someone in a bar, or being the sort of person who trawls supermarkets and libraries. Some people understand the etiquette, some dont.

LondonChickThreads: 43 Posts: 1,261 Joined: Nov 19, 07 ♀	Feb 21, 08, 05:04 #10
BubbaWoo wrote: you really are a bit of a clown me ol china <round of applause>

Wyspianska

Edited by: Wyspianska Feb 21, 08, 05:16 #11

RockyMason wrote:

I mean if ur looking for a relationship get off ur ass go out where u live

I used to think this way but honestly now I changed my mind. I always enjoyed going out, spent most of my free time on parties or concerts but now I realised that all boys I met there weren't even half as wonderful as person I met online.. on this site btw ( :

Besides, don't forget that some people are shy and even if they go out, not always will be able to get know new person easily.

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Edited by: PolskaDoll Feb 21, 08, 14:09 #12

RockyMason wrote:

Does any1 agree with me that if some1 is looking online for a GF/BF they are a little pathetic?

If you're not interested in meeting a partner though an on-line dating site, or indeed here then feel free to ignore Polish Personals section of this site and hundreds of successful online dating websites.

People who legitimately post a personal ad here will have their own reasons for doing so and probably don't want to read replies like "you're sad" or "get off your ass and go meet someone".

Wyspianska wrote:

some people are shy and even if they go out, not always will be able to get know new person easily.

Very true. There is a reason that personals exist and this is one of the reasons.

Wroclaw wrote:

I don't see why people can't develop relationships on the net. Of course, it involves some common sense.

I agree and there are many reasons why meeting on the Internet is better for some people. Relationships progress at a steadier pace, contact is as often or as little as wanted. People exchange pictures when ready and eventually meet when ready.

Why is it OK to have an online "social circle" in something like Facebook where people have hundreds of "friends" but it's not OK to look for a relationship online?

MufasaThreads: 24 Posts: 445 Joined: Oct 21, 07 ♀	Feb 21, 08, 14:25 #13
BubbaWoo wrote: you really are a bit of a clown me ol china LondonChick wrote: <round of applause> make that two rounds! ;)

BryonThreads: 12 Posts: 21 Joined: Oct 18, 07 ♂	Feb 22, 08, 07:05 #14
I got to agree with Wyspi. I just recently start communicating with people via the internet, mainly due to my location and the complete lack of any dating scene, but I know that I'm kinda shy at first, so I find that getting to know about a person online makes it easier. Plus you know if you have anything is common or not, so you don't waste your time.

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Feb 22, 08, 09:27 #15

Ok i know i'm going to upset a few people on this subject but hay i think i've made a few grenade statements before so whats wrong with another one.

Bryon wrote:

shy at first,

take that for example, shy at first, if you are un practised or in experienced at something what do you usually do??? If your looking to work in marketing what do you do, go out there are gain the experience by actually doing marketing. If you play cricket and your worrie about you batting technique, what do you do, get out there and practise. Surely its the same with human interaction. The reason people can be 'shy at first' is because they never actually kick of and 'get out there' as somebody mentioned above.

The internet dating scene is just for those who don't have the confidence to interact with the real world or the natural world. What would you do without the internet??? you would be forced to go out into your local area, partake in social activities and meet local girls/boys, men/women in your area. THis would then sort out the 'shy at first' statement.

Secondly, there is a massive potential when using the internet that people aren't who or what they say they are, you could be speaking to the so called woman/man of your dreams and it turns out that its some dirty pervert or they just aren't telling you the truth about their real lives.

Thirdly, part of the dating scene is the physical and mental interaction, which includes, body language, eye contact, actual bodily company and sharing in activities together such as going out for a meal or going to the the cinema. Its ok if your a bloke from the UK talking to a lady in Poland, well wooopy dooohh well done but logically its not really going to go anywhere and if it does it will be through e-mail or even skype. I couldn't even imagine dating a girl over the net, in fact i think its rather sad and hermit like.

Lastly its just an easy way out for those who are not willing to really work on finding a partner, you browse around 300 women or men online and you find one you like the look of, that in itself is the wrong way to start, hhhmmmm i like his picture, lol, you know what i mean. I've found that the girls that i may not give an opertunity to on the internet i would get talking to in the real world, down the pub, at the gym or whatever. These are usually the girls who turn out to be long term, realistic partners.

Bryon wrote:

Plus you know if you have anything is common or not, so you don't waste your time.

simple example of the easy way out :) you should never think speaking to a man/woman is a waste of time just because you don't hit it of right away.

thanks

T

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Feb 22, 08, 10:38 #16

tornado2007 wrote:

Secondly, there is a massive potential when using the internet that people aren't who or what they say they are, you could be speaking to the so called woman/man of your dreams and it turns out that its some dirty pervert or they just aren't telling you the truth about their real lives.

Yes and there is also every chance that the nice guy you meet in the pub one Friday and date a few times will also be the guy who stabs you, kills you and buries you in a field. Debate that? OK, then I'll say that there is a small chance that could happen.

There's also a relatively small chance that the person you meet on the Internet isn't actually who they say they are. There's a higher chance that they are who they say are.

If you take your opinions on Internet dating from the media then you must remember that they don't report about all the people who meet, get married and live a fine life. They don't report the thousands of people who now exchange emails with people all over the world in a sort of "pen friends" scenario. They do, though, report the negative side of Internet dating or chat rooms and what some sick people do use them for.

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Feb 22, 08, 10:46 #17

PolskaDoll wrote:

Yes and there is also every chance that the nice guy you meet in the pub one Friday and date a few times will also be the guy who stabs you, kills you and buries you in a field. Debate that?

ok my dear i will, how many men are you going to meet and chat to realistically in your local boozer or social club 8 or 9, in a specfic area how many of these guys are going to be the type who will stab you, kill you or rape you??

Looking on the internet its the 'whole world' potentially you are talking to, there are many more weird characters like that on the net than there ever would down the local 'queens arms' lol. thats my part of that debate :)

PolskaDoll wrote:

There's also a relatively small chance that the person you meet on the Internet isn't actually who they say they are. There's a higher chance that they are who they say are.

don't know about that dolly, if i'm speaking to somebody face to face while where sitting or standing in the same room its harder for them to lie to me than if your just on the other end of a chat site or skype.

PolskaDoll wrote:

They don't report the thousands of people who now exchange emails with people all over the world

which i do myself, but thats not the kind of relationship were talking about is it??? or is it?? i thought relationship was like girlfriend/boyfriend thing or maybe i'm confused on the exact definition of the word.

as usual its good to talk and discuss with you

T :)

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Feb 22, 08, 10:56 #18

tornado2007 wrote:

Looking on the internet its the 'whole world' potentially you are talking to,

Realistically you wouldn't talk to the "whole world" though, would you? You'd look through the ads and select the ones closest to you, the ones with similar interests etc. So you probably would narrow it down to a few.

tornado2007 wrote:

if i'm speaking to somebody face to face while where sitting or standing in the same room its harder for them to lie to me than if your just on the other end of a chat site or skype.

Do you think so? For some people it's exceptionally easy to lie other people even in the same room as them, especially if it is someone they've never met before.

tornado2007 wrote:

which i do myself, but thats not the kind of relationship were talking about is it??? or is it?? i thought relationship was like girlfriend/boyfriend thing or maybe i'm confused on the exact definition of the word.

It was really just an example of something positive that the Internet gives...

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Feb 22, 08, 11:02 #19

PolskaDoll wrote:

positive that the Internet gives...

of course the internet has positives i just don't believe it should be a way for finding a partner thats all.

PolskaDoll wrote:

Realistically you wouldn't talk to the "whole world" though, would you? You'd look through the ads and select the ones closest to you, the ones with similar interests etc. So you probably would narrow it down to a few.

due to my lack on experience in the area of internet dating i may have made an error with the whole world, i assume you would narrow it down a bit yes :)

PolskaDoll wrote:

Do you think so? For some people it's exceptionally easy to lie other people even in the same room as them, especially if it is someone they've never met before.

I think its easier though than telling if somebody is lying if you can see them i mean writting words on a screen you can say anything without question

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Feb 22, 08, 11:05 #20

tornado2007 wrote:

I think its easier though than telling if somebody is lying if you can see them i mean writting words on a screen you can say anything without question

Good liars will manage it to your face or online, it wouldn't matter.

Anyway:

PolskaDoll wrote:

If you're not interested in meeting a partner though an on-line dating site, or indeed here then feel free to ignore Polish Personals section of this site and hundreds of successful online dating websites.

was my point.

♂ [Moderator]

Feb 22, 08, 11:14 #21

,

tornado2007 wrote:

ok my dear i will, how many men are you going to meet and chat to realistically in your local boozer or social club 8 or 9, in a specfic area how many of these guys are going to be the type who will stab you, kill you or rape you??

I think you have answered the question here. Meeting 8 or 9 people in the local is not really meeting people, is it ?

Meeting people on-line gives one the opportunity to speak to far more people who might share your interests etc. And all from the safety of your home.

I've got to say that off all the meetings of members from this forum I've never heard a bad word. But there seem to be plenty of relationship problems with those who met new people in a club etc. I realize that this is not a definitive arguement, but it does show that meeting on-line first does help to break the ice.

MareGaeaThreads: 45 Posts: 5,527 Joined: Feb 6, 08 ♂	Feb 22, 08, 11:15 #22
PolskaDoll wrote: Good liars will manage it to your face Ah well, if you know the symptoms of lying, widely available on Inet, you can spot bad liars in an instant :) I got the talent to spot a liar, even a good one, from my dad who was a master in demasking liars. It's a trait that comes in handy with my job. M-G

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Feb 22, 08, 11:25 #23

Wroclaw wrote:

I think you have answered the question here. Meeting 8 or 9 people in the local is not really meeting people, is it ?

what your joking i'm sure??? its not just the pub, there is work, social clubs, gyms, my goodness the possibilities are endless and a lot of places you can meet more than 8 or 9 people

Wroclaw wrote:

I've got to say that off all the meetings of members from this forum I've never heard a bad word. But there seem to be plenty of relationship problems with those who met new people in a club etc. I realize that this is not a definitive arguement, but it does show that meeting on-line first does help to break the ice.

meeting somebody in a club isn't the best idea, i agree, however nore is the internet and its only my opinion.

♂ [Moderator]

Feb 22, 08, 11:28 #24

MareGaea wrote:

Ah well, if you know the symptoms of lying, widely available on Inet, you can spot bad liars in an instant

Not so. You might be misjudging nervous or anxious people. If a person has convinced himself that he is telling the truth it will be more difficult for you to spot the lie.
At times you would never know if I was giving you bull, a lie or a half truth. Plus there is the fact that I have done things that no-one believes, unless they were there.

RockyMasonThreads: 23 Posts: 303 Joined: Nov 20, 07 ♂	Feb 22, 08, 11:32 #25
LOL u most certainly cannot tell a liar on the net! Have u even had a basic psychology class? U need to be able to c the expression on some1s face and c how they react to ur questions to know to any level of certainty that they are actually lying!!! My dad was in law enforcement for 20 years he's good at spotting a liar but u need to test their reaction!

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Feb 22, 08, 11:34 #26
tornado2007 wrote: what your joking i'm sure??? its not just the pub, there is work, social clubs, gyms, my goodness the possibilities are endless and a lot of places you can meet more than 8 or 9 people Of course I understood what you meant. But my post was based on what you actually said. Now your point is clear.

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Edited by: MareGaea Feb 22, 08, 11:35 #27

Wroclaw wrote:

At times you would never know if I was giving you bull, a lie or a half truth. Plus there is the fact that I have done things that no-one believes, unless they were there.

I usually rely on my gut feeling: when something deep inside me says that the person in front of me is lying, be it an applicant or somebody else, I nearly always can rely on it. Of course, one could be wrong every now and then, but like said, nearly always it turns out correct. If I don't have a good feeling about an applicant, I can do two things: 1. hire him and let him fail, which is obviously; or 2. I will check every credential he gives me, and usually I find hiates. Not always, I have to admit, but most of the times I do.

Indeed, on Inet it is nearly impossible as it is just written words and words have a knack of not having a body language :)

M-G

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Feb 22, 08, 11:39 #28
RockyMason wrote: My dad was in law enforcement for 20 years he's good at spotting a liar but u need to test their reaction! Law enforcement officers are no better at spotting liars than the rest of us.

BubbaWooThreads: 46 Posts: 4,438 Joined: Sep 26, 06 ♂	Feb 22, 08, 11:44 #29
anyone who doesnt see the internets potential as a networking tool hasnt quite woken up to the reality they are now living in

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Feb 22, 08, 11:49 #30

BubbaWoo wrote:

anyone who doesnt see the internets potential as a networking tool hasnt quite woken up to the reality they are now living in

Totally agree... I'd been in London for about 5 years without making any new friends. Then, about 3 years ago, I agreed to meet up with some girls from another forum... we ended up setting up a book club with regular meetings in a wine bar. They turned out to be a really great crowd, and I've since met other friends of theirs as the network has grown...

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