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I love my Polish girl!


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clewinton  Jan 9, 10, 21:26    #1
Hello,

I wanted to share my story with you, and see if anyone had any words of advice as I move things forward. I met this girl while working in Poland about 9 months ago and straight away we hit it off. Her English at the time was not perfect, but we could talk for hours everday, and of course being very smart her English got better and better. We were just friends to start with but I think we both knew there was a little more there but for a while did not do anything about it. About 5 months ago we got together and things went very well. I would try to visit as oftern as I could and we always had a fantastic time together.

In December she came to England for a little while, and we did have a few problems mainly around my family, this nearly destroyed things but since then we have talked lots and managed to get everything back on track. I have been back again since then and again we have a great time together.

We are now trying to make plans for the future on how we can be together, of course with the problems we had before we are taking things a little more careful and slowly because we want to do everything the best way to give us the best chance. At the moment out plan is to every 2/3 weeks visit each other either there or here, and we try to SMS or chat on Skype everyday. Of course this is very hard because really we want to be together and hug and kiss, but its the best we can do at the moment!

Our current plan is to both work hard for the next 6-8 weeks maybe longer and try to put aside enought money to pay for her appartment in Warsaw for 6 months, so she always feel she can go home if things dont go well. There are a few complications with my house so ideally we want to try to find something small together when she gets here so we can have a nice clean fresh start together.

What does everyone think we should do? I am a little worried it will take a while for her to find a job in the these hard times and I dont want her to feel she is a burden on me if I have to pay for everythign, is this normal, anyone have this before?

My main thing is I want her to not only feel happy with me here, but start to feel this is home and she starts to like the country, again any suggestions on how we build this?

We do seem to have a very special chemistry together, so I have a feeling we will be fine, but of course I want to just try to give us the best start possible!

My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England. I am 1000% sure this is not true, I am sure if I had nothing and turned up at her flat in Warsaw she would welcome me in with open arms. Any suggestions on how I deal with family? Most people tell me to just ignore this for the moment, in time people will come round.

Many thanks for reading, and if anyone has any experiances they could share it would be very nice to read them.

Thanks

Charles
Grzegorz_Threads: 81
Posts: 6,213
Joined: Nov 16, 06 ♂ 		 Jan 9, 10, 21:36    #2
clewinton:
sees a chance for a good life in England.

What's so good there ?
clewinton  Jan 9, 10, 21:39    #3
I live there!
nomaderolThreads: 7
Posts: 1,213
Joined: Oct 18, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 9, 10, 21:45    #4
clewinton:
What does everyone think we should do?

The man make decisions alone.

ps: all these polish girls are going to uk and usa only? most of threads are about english-polish relations.. i will say money at work, but, no, crisis hitting there big. so labels are at work then.. but, when money is not at work, labels' works are useless. i started to doubt about their intelligences of polish girls. they not living the moment.
MyszolowThreads: 4
Posts: 171
Joined: Jul 28, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 10, 10, 00:00    #5
clewinton:
My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England. I am 1000% sure this is not true, I am sure if I had nothing and turned up at her flat in Warsaw she would welcome me in with open arms. Any suggestions on how I deal with family? Most people tell me to just ignore this for the moment, in time people will come round.

Although nobody in my family actually said anything to me about it, I think some of them had these thoughts too. Well that was in 1993 when we got married and we're still together.

Her family have accepted me and mine have accepted her. To be honest though I think her family were more against it than mine because it was "obvious" that we would live in the UK. Not much traffic going the other way - even now. :)

If your family are very vocal then you'll just have to put some distance between yourselves and them for a while so you can give yourselves a chance. Once they see she's here to stay they will learn to accept her. If not, they can sod off. (as long as you're not counting on a juicy inheritance).

Don't let love completely cloud your judgement though. You have to try to be a bit objective and see if there isn't something in their arguments. There may be, there may not be. Without knowing you guys it's very hard to judge.

Another piece of "sage advice". Don't make any kind of commitment until you have met and spent time with her family. Unless you can see where and who she came from, you have no idea what you're dealing with and what she will turn into when problems hit.
(When you are young and in love everything seems overcomeable, but some things get harder with time).

For example. Is she an only child or has she brothers and sisters? If she is an only child. What will you guys do when her parents get ill and die? Yes, you marry the whole family. So best to see what you're getting into.
Andy_McRaeThreads: 2
Posts: 39
Joined: Jan 9, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 10, 10, 00:11    #6
To me it sounds like a tough one to judge, you say you have known each other for 9 months? and things are moving fast, whats the longest time you have actually spent together in one go? you havent said how old you both are as this could have an influence on things.

I have just started relations with a polish girl and I hope it work out for us but I will wait 12 months before we decide on a permanent abode for us.

Why is your family so negative towards her please?
AmathystThreads: 30
Posts: 3,968
Joined: Nov 10, 06  Pictures: 2 ♀ 		 Jan 10, 10, 01:13    #7
clewinton:
My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England.

Andy_McRae:
Why is your family so negative towards her please?

Keep up Andy! Or actually read posts...
Andy_McRaeThreads: 2
Posts: 39
Joined: Jan 9, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 10, 10, 01:28    #8
I did read the post but I can't understand why people would say that is it not a stereotypical answer?? or do people actually think that it's about money... you cant spend it when your dead so live it were only here once :-)
f stopThreads: 33
Posts: 2,861
Joined: Dec 9, 09  Pictures: 1 ♀ 		Edited by: f stop  Jan 10, 10, 02:37    #9
Why can't she rent out her apartment in Warsaw? You're probably committing not only to support her, but her apartment in Poland as well. And whatever other obligations she might have there...
And you worry about her feeling bad about it. You are so sweet. I hope she really loves you.
AmathystThreads: 30
Posts: 3,968
Joined: Nov 10, 06  Pictures: 2 ♀ 		Edited by: Amathyst  Jan 10, 10, 02:43    #10
f stop:
Why can't she rent out her apartment in Warsaw?

Maybe because she doesnt own it? She wants the security of having somewhere to go back to if it doesnt work out? Doesnt want to move all of her stuff out her rented apartment? As she will may need to move back there...She is giving up a lot to move too..this the side people dont think about, she has a life and is gambling her life and her stability..
Dave76Threads: 2
Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 8, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 10, 10, 13:04    #11
All I can add is if you're truly in love then follow your heart,if you dont and try to be practical you'll end up regretting it later in life.True love is hard to find and if you've found it dont let it go.Believe me,it crushes you and perhap as in my case,you never get over it and life is never the same.Good luck to both of you:-)
Andy_McRaeThreads: 2
Posts: 39
Joined: Jan 9, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 10, 10, 13:19    #12
Dave76:
All I can add is if you're truly in love then follow your heart,if you dont and try to be practical you'll end up regretting it later in life.True love is hard to find and if you've found it dont let it go.Believe me,it crushes you and perhap as in my case,you never get over it and life is never the same.Good luck to both of you:-)

Well said, very wise words ;D
McCoyThreads: 46
Posts: 1,756
Joined: Jul 3, 08 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 11:00    #13
clewinton:
My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England.

im not suprised. theyve got right to be worry but if you are

1000% sure this is not true

its good for you and sooner or later they will be on your side.
rtzThreads: 1
Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 3, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 11:06    #14
clewinton:
a chance for a good life in England

this is strange - I've been working for the last 10 years with people from the UK and they somehow try to go somewhere else :)))
peter_olsztynThreads: 8
Posts: 760
Joined: Apr 18, 07  Pictures: 1 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 11:56    #15
clewinton:
My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England.

You can assure your family that majority of Poles consider England as the worst place to live in Europe.
kh siarko sanokThreads: 4
Posts: 70
Joined: Jan 13, 10 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 13:38    #16
Charles I am very happy for you all the best pal.
markcooperThreads: 6
Posts: 113
Joined: Apr 27, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 16:27    #17
rtz:
You can assure your family that majority of Poles consider England as the worst place to live in Europe.

I can think of worse places to live

1. Germany

2. France

3. Albania

4. Ukraine

If they think it is so bad then (a) Why do so many live here (b) Why do so many make the decision to become a permenent fixture in the UK ie make it thier permenant country of residence. ( and I know quite a few who have done this).
landoraThreads: 1
Posts: 191
Joined: Oct 14, 09 ♀ 		 Jan 13, 10, 16:31    #18
markcooper:
1. Germany

Germany's a wonderful place to live. Stable, reliable, the only bad thing about Germany is the love of rules. On the whole though, it's certainly no worse than the UK.

markcooper:
2. France

That would be why they consistently rate as having a far superior quality of life to the UK then?

markcooper:
3. Albania
4. Ukraine

Can't really compare poor European countries to the UK, can you?
Honest GeorgeThreads: 2
Posts: 121
Joined: Nov 12, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 16:43    #19
[/b]Pre-Nuptial Agreement[b]

This should keep your family happy. might also be a blessing for you ( pessimistic ).

Good luck anyway.
markcooperThreads: 6
Posts: 113
Joined: Apr 27, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 17:11    #20
landora:
Germany's a wonderful place to live. Stable, reliable, the only bad thing about Germany is the love of rules.

I've live there. Berlin for five years. The love of rules. This is the problem. Also do not mistaken helpfulness with friendlyness. I would say that Germany is for the Germans. If your from anywhere else it will not feel like home. You say stable,reliable. I would also say this about the UK, probably more so.
delphiandomineThreads: 42
Posts: 9,954
Joined: Nov 25, 08 ♂ [Suspended] 		 Jan 13, 10, 17:16    #21
markcooper:
The love of rules. This is the problem.

But compared to the UK, Germany is very easy going these days - much less paranoia about health and safety, and much more "use your brain, idiot" type attitude. Sure, they might need rules to function, but that's what makes Germany so funny!

markcooper:
Also do not mistaken helpfulness with friendlyness.

Germans aren't really a welcoming, friendly race. But neither are the English and especially not the Welsh!

markcooper:
You say stable,reliable. I would also say this about the UK, probably more so.

The UK is dreadfully unstable these days - look at the abuse of terrorism laws in relation to photographers as an example. Then let's look at the 'postcode lottery' for health care - the UK really isn't stable as a country anymore.
time meansThreads: 9
Posts: 2,306
Joined: Apr 21, 08  Pictures: 1 ♂ 		Edited by: time means  Jan 13, 10, 17:18    #22
delphiandomine:
The UK is dreadfully unstable these days

For someone who does not live in the UK you know an awful lot about it.
Wroclaw BoyThreads: 57
Posts: 5,478
Joined: Jul 3, 09  Pictures: 2  Gold Member MEMBER ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 17:21    #23
Myszolow:
If she is an only child. What will you guys do when her parents get ill and die?

Pay for the funeral not have to share the inheritance? i dont get that one.

peter_olsztyn:
You can assure your family that majority of Poles consider England as the worst place to live in Europe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southampton

Southampton has a range of cultures and ethnic groups, which make up the estimated 228,600 people living within the city boundary. There is a large Polish population in the city, with estimates as high as 20,000, or 1 in every 11 of the total population.

Really, i dont think so.
markcooperThreads: 6
Posts: 113
Joined: Apr 27, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 17:34    #24
delphiandomine:
The UK is dreadfully unstable these days

I aggree it's not the country it was, but if you want to look at unstability ( included in this is police abuse of powers etc) Then there are countries within Europe that are simply on another level ie czech rep, lithuania, albania, ukraine. As my country of residence I'm very happy here.
peter_olsztynThreads: 8
Posts: 760
Joined: Apr 18, 07  Pictures: 1 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 18:24    #25
markcooper:
rtz

it's mine :)

I wouldn't like to count disadvantages of living there so let's look on bright side.

Norway - beautiful nature, crystal water, forest, rich country, small population.
Sweden - small population, it's only 200km from home ;)
Germany - ordnung, only 200km from home ;)
France - they know how to live, art, architecture
Spain - sun, sea, warm water

England - relatively easy language to learn, understanding of native speakers.
time meansThreads: 9
Posts: 2,306
Joined: Apr 21, 08  Pictures: 1 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 18:28    #26
peter_olsztyn:
it's mine :)

I take it you will not be coming over then. Good news indeed!
markcooperThreads: 6
Posts: 113
Joined: Apr 27, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 20:04    #27
peter_olsztyn

The countries you have listed.
My order of preference if had to live permenantly in any of these places.

1 England
2 Spain
3 Sweden
4 Norway
5 Germany

I can not bring myself to list france but it would be below Germany. By the way I would put Poland in between Spain and Sweden. So Poland would be the new numbr three and the rest move down one place.
BrutalButcherThreads: 1
Posts: 623
Joined: Nov 10, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 20:25    #28
markcooper:
czech rep, lithuania, albania, ukraine.

Oh no, don´t put CZ and Albania in the same league. What an insult to the Czechs!
SokratesThreads: 19
Posts: 4,464
Joined: Jan 19, 09 ♂ [Suspended] 		Edited by: Sokrates  Jan 13, 10, 20:26    #29
clewinton:
I love my Polish girl!

So do I.

Signed.

her fiancee.
markcooper:
czech rep, lithuania, albania, ukraine

Czechy are a very very nice place to be, Lithuania is nice but p*ss poor, Albania is both p*ss poor and full of Muslims and Ukraine is so poor and backwater it nearly collapses reality, why would you put a nice place like Czech Republic next to such dumps?

@UK.

Since British people executed Mel Gibson after he kicked their ass at Stirling they suck, he was my favourite actor you fvckers.
markcooperThreads: 6
Posts: 113
Joined: Apr 27, 09 ♂ 		 Jan 13, 10, 20:53    #30
Sokrates:
Czechy are a very very nice place to be

I know that, been there. We are not talking " nice " as in holidays but more living and day to day realities of life.

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