I love my Polish girl!

Wroclaw BoyThreads: 57 Posts: 5,478 Joined: Jul 3, 09 MEMBER ♂	Jan 13, 10, 21:39 #31
Sokrates: he was my favourite actor you fvckers. Whilst i like Braveheart and some other of his films the man cant act for shite.

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Edited by: Myszolow Jan 13, 10, 21:44 #32

Myszolow:

If she is an only child. What will you guys do when her parents get ill and die?

Wroclaw Boy:

Pay for the funeral not have to share the inheritance? i dont get that one.

OK. Supposing the happy couple decide to live in the UK or elsewhere. In 10, 15 or 20 years, if she is an only child, her first parent may get ill and die. No probs. The other parent will take care of them.

When the second parent gets ill. Perhaps there will be a need for long-term care while they deteriorate and die? It's a possibility I never thought of when I got married, but we had to drop everything and move to Poland for a year and a half to look after my wife's dad before he died.

Of course there are other choices, like...

let him die. But could you live with yourself?

As far as funerals are concerned I'm surprised you don't know that there is a ZUS grant which covers the basic cost of a funeral (otherwise most Poles would be buried in their gardens).

As far as inheritance goes - yeah - fair payment for looking after them - if you're lucky enough to get any.

My main point was "you need to meet the family because you are marrying into the whole lot and there may be unforeseen consequences". That's the advice my son will be getting if he ever thinks of marrying a foreigner of any description.

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Jan 13, 10, 22:59 #33

clewinton:

I met this girl while working in Poland

Here is your answer my friend!

You didn't meet her in the UK - if she wanted to go there she would have met you!

clewinton:

In December she came to England for a little while, and we did have a few problems mainly around my family, this nearly destroyed things

This makes me think she's sacrificeing herself for your love, if she goes to the UK and as a reward she gets your family's murmouring ... sooner or later she will go back to Poland,
because she will have the support of her loving family there.

I think that the family will be best where the woman is from, not the opposite.

And if you ever change your mind - she won't be left homeless in the UK right?

That's my opinion.

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Jan 14, 10, 03:24 #34

clewinton:

My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England. I am 1000% sure this is not true, I am sure if I had nothing and turned up at her flat in Warsaw she would welcome me in with open arms.

Charles, a girl always looks for improvement. I just thought you should be aware of that fact. (Hey, it's pretty normal to want those things, even for a guy, right?) Your family is probably a bit concerned from the sound of things, but I guess that's a good thing in itself? I mean, atleast they care about your well being? So don't worry yourself too much about that, and she probably likes you more than well enough, otherwise she wouldn't be there..

:)

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Edited by: skysoulmate Jan 14, 10, 03:39 #35

Clewinton - you seem like a nice guy.

Is there any chance for you to get another job in Poland? Spend more time with her, get to know her, pick up some Polish, learn new traditions and see where it takes you?

Parents always worry about their kids for a good reason; they always assume their child deserves a better husband/wife, that the other person will hurt their child, etc.
If you add different countries, languages and traditions to that equation you can multiply the parents' worries ten-fold.

Respect and acceptance are earned, never deserved. If you spend more time with her, treat her like the princess that I'm sure she is, learn something about her country and her traditions you will guaranteed win over her family.

When your family realizes that you're really serious about her, that she makes you happy and makes you "want to become a better man" (what movie is this quote from? ;), that she tries to learn about your culture and plans for a future with you they will accept her too.

Just my thoughts on it and I wish you both the very best.

Disclaimer - had I followed my own advice or rather had I known better at the time I wouldn't be divorced today. So in a nutshell try to learn from others peoples' mistakes...

PS. I live in the States and my ex was Italian-American but love is universal and knows no borders therefore I think my advice would work in your situation too.

rtzThreads: 1 Posts: 66 Joined: Jan 3, 10 ♂	Jan 14, 10, 07:35 #36
skysoulmate: what movie is this quote from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119822/

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Jan 14, 10, 09:24 #37

skysoulmate:

Disclaimer - had I followed my own advice or rather had I known better at the time I wouldn't be divorced today. So in a nutshell try to learn from others peoples' mistakes...

That works to an extent, but other people's situations are different.

If he can't get a well paid job in Poland (and let's face it the opportunities for non-Polish speaking foreigners are pretty dire unless you want to teach English - and if you have another career that's not a very attractive option) then they will be much better off pretty much anywhere else in the world.

Money isnt everything, but the economics of it DOES matter. If it were the other way round and he was a girl I think it would matter less. Mind you I don't see a whole bunch of English girls marrying Polish guys and moving to Poland (hee hee - let's not go there). :)

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Jan 14, 10, 10:37 #38

skysoulmate:

treat her like the princess that I'm sure she is

Oh yeah, then when she starts acting like a spoit biatch, you only have yourself to blame :D

Myszolow:

Mind you I don't see a whole bunch of English girls marrying Polish guys and moving to Poland

I dont see a whole bunch of English girls even dating Polish guys, pickings are pretty slim from I can glean, the decent ones are married and the single ones, well, they're single because they mingers or losers...(maybe the odd exception)...also maybe English women prefer English guys..strange that isnt it?

ClaireThreads: - Posts: 3 Joined: Jan 14, 10 ♀	Jan 14, 10, 11:32 #39
Follow your heart

MyszolowThreads: 4 Posts: 171 Joined: Jul 28, 09 ♂	Edited by: Myszolow Jan 14, 10, 11:37 #40
Amathyst: maybe English women prefer English guys..strange that isnt it? Not really. It makes perfect sense on many levels. I won't say more lest someone takes offence. ;)

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Jan 14, 10, 14:40 #41

Myszolow:

Not really. It makes perfect sense on many levels.

I was being a little bit sarky ;0)

Myszolow:

won't say more lest someone takes offence. ;)

It makes sense on all levels, Im sure there are a few that are facinated by foreign men..but on the whole I think English women are quite happy with their English men...They're quite a good catch on the whole when you look at what the rest of europe has to offer.

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Jan 14, 10, 15:43 #42

clewinton:

My family are still a problem, they seem to have it in there head she is only coming for the money, does not love me, sees a chance for a good life in England. I am 1000% sure this is not true, I am sure if I had nothing and turned up at her flat in Warsaw she would welcome me in with open arms. Any suggestions on how I deal with family? Most people tell me to just ignore this for the moment, in time people will come round.

Everyone is 1000% sure when he/she is in love. People just KNOW that they're in love and that everything's gonna be o.k. Then, some time down the line, 50% of people get divorced. Sorry, but 5 months is just not long enough. Furthermore, even if she does love you for you and not a better life in England, in-laws sure can ruin and even break up a marriage.

Don't rush into anything.

k98_man	Jan 14, 10, 15:51 #43
Follow your heart, but do not be stupid. Sometimes love can blind or confuse you, but try to remember common sense. If you can get a job in Warsaw, then I say go for it 100%.

BrutalButcherThreads: 1 Posts: 623 Joined: Nov 10, 09 ♂	Jan 14, 10, 16:22 #44
Stop all those Titanic-like ideas on love. Dude, if you need to ask random people on the internet for help on your relationship, you are not mature enough to have a serious relationship.

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Jan 14, 10, 18:30 #45

BrutalButcher:

Stop all those Titanic-like ideas on love. Dude, if you need to ask random people on the internet for help on your relationship, you are not mature enough to have a serious relationship.

Really? I thought I had all the answers and knew exactly what I needed to do, look where it got me (divorce). I think it's great the guy's being proactive and tries to learn from others.

Don't be so brutal, oh wait, you can't... ;)

Wroclaw BoyThreads: 57 Posts: 5,478 Joined: Jul 3, 09 MEMBER ♂	Jan 14, 10, 18:36 #46
Myszolow: As far as funerals are concerned I'm surprised you don't know that there is a ZUS grant which covers the basic cost of a funeral (otherwise most Poles would be buried in their gardens). Indeed and no i didnt know that, cheers for the info. So thats one of the resaons they all have huge marble shrines above their graves. i did wonder..

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Jan 14, 10, 20:11 #47

Wroclaw Boy:

Indeed and no i didnt know that, cheers for the info. So thats one of the resaons they all have huge marble shrines above their graves. i did wonder..

Not sure it covers all that though. If I recall correctly the funeral grant was about 5,000 zl which covers the basics. The stonemasons for a fairly basic setup cost almost the same again :(

-----------------
BrutalButcher living up to his name. ;)

Nothing wrong with being mature enough to ask for help - particularly from a pre-qualified focus group.

The correct answer is in this topic somewhere. The hard part is choosing who is correct. Good luck to the OP with that choice.

k98_man	Jan 15, 10, 09:10 #48
skysoulmate: Really? I thought I had all the answers and knew exactly what I needed to do, look where it got me (divorce). I think it's great the guy's being proactive and tries to learn from others. Don't be so brutal, oh wait, you can't... ;) Just ignore him. It isn't hard after a while.

SokratesThreads: 19 Posts: 4,464 Joined: Jan 19, 09 ♂ [Suspended]	Jan 15, 10, 09:38 #49
BrutalButcher: you are not mature enough to have a serious relationship. You telling someone he's not mature is like a retard giving a lecture on IQ :)))

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Jan 15, 10, 09:56 #50

I'm married to a Polish girl and living in Lodz. Personally didn't have any problem with my family accepting her, wouldn't have tolerated it for a second if there was. Her mother and Granny were concerned that I would drag her back to Ireland though. We now live in Poland, jobs not easy to find though without language. Locals have excellent English so being a native speaker is little advantage.
The fact is that Poland's economy is the best performing in Europe at the moment and UK/Ireland among worst. What advantage has the girl got in going to UK. As an EU citizen she can go where she wants when she wants, visa argument bullsh1t and Poland is not as poor as westerners think. Just because they don't spend a fortune on pretty houses and gardens like we do in the West people think the place is impoverished. Well my friends did when they landed first.
You would want to have a serious sit down with your family and straighten them out, in my opinion.

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Edited by: Myszolow Jan 15, 10, 14:51 #51

irishlodz:

The fact is that Poland's economy is the best performing in Europe at the moment and UK/Ireland among worst.

In terms of percentage growth maybe. But what about in terms of size? Why are things like electronic goods/computers more expensive in Poland? Size of the market.

You also say speaking Polish is not much advantage but in the same breath jobs are hard to come by if you don't. Well that's one fairly major advantage don't'cha think? ;)

If Poland is so rich why are they all over in the UK earning money?

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Jan 15, 10, 14:58 #52

kith:

Everyone is 1000% sure when he/she is in love. People just KNOW that they're in love and that everything's gonna be o.k. Then, some time down the line, 50% of people get divorced. Sorry, but 5 months is just not long enough. Furthermore, even if she does love you for you and not a better life in England, in-laws sure can ruin and even break up a marriage.

Don't rush into anything.

I couldn't have said it better.

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Jan 15, 10, 15:03 #53

Myszolow:

You also say speaking Polish is not much advantage but in the same breath jobs are hard to come by if you don't. Well that's one fairly major advantage don't'cha think? ;)

If you read it again sweetie, you will realise he meant being a native English speaker isnt really an advantage as most Poles speak good English.

irishlodz:

The fact is that Poland's economy is the best performing in Europe at the moment and UK/Ireland among worst.

Yet the flow of people from Eastern europe hasnt really stopped, if it was so bad here (UK) and so good there (Poland), dont you think they'd be staying at home in Poland? The reality of it is, the job market in Poland isnt brilliant and if everyone went back home, there would be major problems.

MyszolowThreads: 4 Posts: 171 Joined: Jul 28, 09 ♂	Jan 15, 10, 17:16 #54
Amathyst: If you read it again sweetie, you will realise he meant being a native English speaker isnt really an advantage as most Poles speak good English. I do believe you're right, but I had to read it twice more before I could fathom it. ;)

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