Why does my boyfriend keep telling his mum our private business everytime we have words?

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Feb 27, 11, 16:12 #1

I am beginning to feel like my boyfriend is a mummys boy. Everytime something happens he keeps saying my mum does this or my mum does that so I have to because I am his girlfriend and it really puts me off.
I keep telling him to man up and drop the foolishness and he goes straight to his mum and tells her word for word what we have been talking about.
He is 27 and I am reaching the end of my sweetness with him, what can I do, or say to him to save this relationship? my heart hurts so much because I love him so much, will he ever man up?

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Edited by: wildrover Feb 27, 11, 16:16 #2
Atosha: will he ever man up? Seems unlikely if he has got to the age of 27 and still does it... Ask him if he has sex with his mum...if he says no , then tell him he can,t have it with you either....he might realise you are two different people then...

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Feb 27, 11, 16:22 #3

Atosha:

I am beginning to feel like my boyfriend is a mummys boy. Everytime something happens he keeps saying my mum does this or my mum does that so I have to because I am his girlfriend and it really puts me off.
I keep telling him to man up and drop the foolishness and he goes straight to his mum and tells her word for word what we have been talking about.
He is 27 and I am reaching the end of my sweetness with him, what can I do, or say to him to save this relationship? my heart hurts so much because I love him so much, will he ever man up?

He was pampered all his life by his mama and he wants his woman to be like his mom. What is it exactly that happens, you slap him or yell at him?

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Feb 27, 11, 16:23 #4
on a flip side, the way a guy treats his mother is an indication how he's going to treat his wife/gf down the road. Be glad he doesn't treat her like sh!t. Also, it's more practical to examine what you're doing that sends him out of the house looking for another opinion.

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Feb 27, 11, 16:25 #5

Your right perhaps its time for me to get more firm with him.
But can I just ask you please is it true that when your a boy then your mum is number 1, when you are a man your mum is still number 1, but from when you are having an adult relationship your girlfriend is number 1 and your mum is 1.1?
That how I see it and surely I can't be wrong.
If it wasn't for him telling her all our business we would be living together and looking forward to a great future. But his mum says no he is to stay living with her until she says so, how can I compete with that?

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Feb 27, 11, 16:31 #6

Atosha:

But can I just ask you please is it true that when your a boy then your mum is number 1, when you are a man your mum is still number 1, but from when you are having an adult relationship your girlfriend is number 1 and your mum is 1.1?
That how I see it and surely I can't be wrong.

Once you hit your 20s your mom should be your 1.1 , everyone loves their mother but you're supposed to leave the nest and start your own family, have children. Maybe he's scared to grow up and be a man.

AtoshaThreads: 5 Posts: 63 Joined: Oct 19, 10 ♀	Feb 27, 11, 16:32 #7
PennBoy I don't raise my hand to him or even shout, I just tell him he shouldn't tell me what to do when he doesn't pay for anything. Other people would be greatful for what they get, from when he is not giving money for food and bills he has no right telling me what he wants and how much he wants and comparing me to his mum

VincentThreads: 15 Posts: 1,712 Joined: Sep 9, 07 ♂ [Moderator]	Feb 27, 11, 16:32 #8
Atosha: I love him so much, will he ever man up? Is this a new boyfriend? I noticed that you dumped someone just before Christmas. here

AtoshaThreads: 5 Posts: 63 Joined: Oct 19, 10 ♀	Feb 27, 11, 16:35 #9
No its the same guy, he begged for forgiveness and said he would change his way's so I gave him a chance

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Feb 27, 11, 16:35 #10

Atosha:

PennBoy I don't raise my hand to him or even shout, I just tell him he shouldn't tell me what to do when he doesn't pay for anything. Other people would be greatful for what they get, from when he is not giving money for food and bills he has no right telling me what he wants and how much he wants and comparing me to his mum

Woah!! He's got it good with you, he has nothing to complain about, was he a single child?

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Feb 27, 11, 16:43 #11

No, he has two sisters and he has gone mad when one of his sisters was being treated like rubbish, but he wants to do the same to me.
I feel like a fool because I gave him a chance to man up so I bought him an Audi for his birthday and I paid for us to go to the seychelles in july and now he has asked me if we are finished for good can he go with his mum on our holiday because he was looking forward to it and his mum says she would like to go.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 16:51 #12
Atosha: so I bought him an Audi for his birthday Does he have a job ...or are you keeping him....?

AtoshaThreads: 5 Posts: 63 Joined: Oct 19, 10 ♀	Feb 27, 11, 16:53 #13
He has a job but he sends money back home to Poland for his sister because she is getting married in April

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Feb 27, 11, 16:58 #14

Atosha:

No, he has two sisters and he has gone mad when one of his sisters was being treated like rubbish, but he wants to do the same to me.
I feel like a fool because I gave him a chance to man up so I bought him an Audi for his birthday and I paid for us to go to the seychelles in july and now he has asked me if we are finished for good can he go with his mum on our holiday because he was looking forward to it and his mum says she would like to go.

Who treated her sister bad, English folks? Don't get played girl, i mean he might just want some "fun" with you and live off of you saving his own money for an another life he wants back in Poland with some other girl.,

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Feb 27, 11, 17:00 #15

Atosha:

No, he has two sisters and he has gone mad when one of his sisters was being treated like rubbish, but he wants to do the same to me.
I feel like a fool because I gave him a chance to man up so I bought him an Audi for his birthday and I paid for us to go to the seychelles in july and now he has asked me if we are finished for good can he go with his mum on our holiday because he was looking forward to it and his mum says she would like to go.

Unless he pays for some stuff for you, he is using you. You can either put up with it or stop buying him things and paying his way.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:02 #16
If you buy me an Audi...i promise i won,t mention my mum once...!

PennBoyThreads: 157 Posts: 3,443 Joined: Dec 7, 08 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:03 #17
wildrover: If you buy me an Audi...i promise i won,t mention my mum once...! LOL The things people are willing to do for some fine German engineering.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:06 #18
I think she is getting taken for a ride....and i don,t mean in the Audi....

AtoshaThreads: 5 Posts: 63 Joined: Oct 19, 10 ♀	Feb 27, 11, 17:08 #19
PennBoy: Don't get played girl, i mean he might just want some "fun" with you and live off of you saving his own money for an another life he wants back in Poland with some other girl., I think you are right, I feel like a fool. My kindness is my weakness, perhaps it me that has to change I thought he was the one.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:14 #20
At the age of 27 he is not going to change . what he is now is what he is going to be.... You are trying to buy his love , and its not going to work , he is a user , you deserve better...

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,433 Joined: May 28, 09 ♀	Edited by: PlasticPole Feb 27, 11, 17:16 #21
It also sounds like he is trying to play you against his mother. It's an uncomfortable situation to be in. Doesn't sound like he's an honest person. He should, at the very least, be considerate enough to say nice things to her about you since you are paying for everything.

rybnikThreads: 29 Posts: 1,234 Joined: Jan 16, 11 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:18 #22
Atosha: I think you are right, I feel like a fool. My kindness is my weakness, perhaps it me that has to change I thought he was the one. Better to realize this now when you're single :)

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Feb 27, 11, 17:28 #23

PlasticPole:

It also sounds like he is trying to play you against his mother. It's a uncomfortable situation to be in. Doesn't sound like he's an honest person. He should, at the very least, be considerate enough to say nice things to her about you since you are paying for everything.

I was only treating him they way I would treat anyone I was in a relationship with. I didn't mind buying him the car it was a birthday present and the holiday was a chance for him and I to go away and relax and spend quality time together. As for his mum she has developed and distaste for me. She says I am not good enough for her son and it hurts me cause all I have done is love him.
She doesn't want me at her house because when I am there her english boyfriend wants to speak to me and she feels like she is being ignored so she shouted at me to get out of her house. Albeit she will never get the chance to do that again.
And I have to book him in advance if I want him to sleep over, you know what! I have answered my own question, I should move on and find a real man and not a boy sitting on the end of his mothers skirt.

PlasticPoleThreads: 10 Posts: 5,433 Joined: May 28, 09 ♀	Feb 27, 11, 17:32 #24
Atosha: I have answered my own question, I should move on and find a real man and not a boy sitting on the end of his mothers skirt. If someone treated me like that, that's exactly what I would do. I have a low tolerance for this sort of thing.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:34 #25
Atosha: She says I am not good enough for her son Any woman who she thinks is good enough for her son...is not going to touch him with a ten foot stick....

JaneDoeThreads: 7 Posts: 237 Joined: Sep 26, 08 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:34 #26
Atosha: I think you are right, I feel like a fool. My kindness is my weakness, perhaps it me that has to change I thought he was the one. I think you should let him go. At his age, he doesn't act mature and he uses you. There is plenty of fish; you will find a mature man who loves and appreciates you. Stand up for yourself.

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:36 #27
Send him back to his mummy...

JaneDoeThreads: 7 Posts: 237 Joined: Sep 26, 08 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:38 #28
And take the Audi back from him. I hope it's on your name. Women look better in the Audi. ;)

wildroverThreads: 180 Posts: 8,188 Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂	Feb 27, 11, 17:40 #29
JaneDoe: I hope it's on your name. Don,t matter what the log book says..whose name is the reciept in..?

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Feb 27, 11, 17:40 #30

Atosha:

I think you are right, I feel like a fool. My kindness is my weakness, perhaps it me that has to change I thought he was the one.

Sista tell his ass that you need to settle down you've been dating long enough and want kids. Say you can't waste your youth on something that is going nowhere, who you gonna find when you'll get older and your looks fade? If he still give you some **** tell him to **** his mummy then.

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