My Polish girlfriend's mother called her a prostitute because we live together

SeanusThreads: 22 Posts: 30,158 Joined: Dec 25, 07 ♂	Jun 2, 11, 13:03 #91
Instant solutions are proudly brought to you today by 'Trolbert' :) Some people here need to learn when to stick their beaks out of sth. The problem often stems from boredom and having nothing constructive to do. When coupled with excessive conservatism, there is a huge problem.

cinekThreads: 1 Posts: 264 Joined: Nov 16, 07 ♂	Edited by: cinek Jun 2, 11, 17:47 #92
Crow: wait,... did she used word `prostitute` (in Polish of course) or kurva? I thought the same. Maybe she just sad: Kurwa, dziewczyno, ale znalazłaś zajebistego gacha! If so, then you don't need to worry at all ;-) Cinek

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Jun 2, 11, 19:14 #93

urszula:

mafketis:
As far as I can tell there's never been any special idea in Poland of pre-marital sex being wrong.

yes there is, the catholic church teaches it and so does the bible. And many girls I know don't do it before marriage. Your girlfriend's mother has high moral standards and doesn't like her daughter being so loose.

Catholics in Poland don't read the bible to any special degree (and the dictates of priests are more often honored in the breach. If it's thought to be wrong then why are there so many visibly pregnant brides being married in church? If anything Polish people IME are a little suspicious of a woman who's still a virgin in her early 20's.

All the evidence I have is that while random sleeping around is discouraged, it's assumed that a serious couple will be having sex and pregnancy serves as a catalyst to set the date and legalize things.

MaaarysiaThreads: 3 Posts: 541 Joined: Feb 27, 10 ♀	Jun 2, 11, 19:25 #94
urszula: And many girls I know don't do it before marriage. How old are you? Certainly not my generation. mafketis: All the evidence I have is that while random sleeping around is discouraged, it's assumed that a serious couple will be having sex and pregnancy serves as a catalyst to set the date and legalize things. That's very true.

isthatu2Threads: 13 Posts: 5,228 Joined: Apr 3, 08 ♂	Jun 3, 11, 03:58 #95
guesswho: I've met a girl who was about to get married with an Welsh guy and her whole family was very happy maybe he was good looking and charming......nah,you are probably right midas,its all about the passport......

guesswhoThreads: 23 Posts: 3,326 Joined: Mar 17, 10 ♀	Jun 3, 11, 04:01 #96
isthatu2: maybe he was good looking and charming......nah,you are probably right midas,its all about the passport...... are you replying to me or to Midas? Just to answer your question, I saw him, he was OK looking guy. I can't say if he was charming too ( never talked to him).

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Jun 3, 11, 04:09 #97

Midas:

Most Polish mothers consider their daughter marrying a foreigner a huge success.

So you know most Polish mothers?

Midas:

Here's a piece from a Polish newspaper, about a Swede that posted a personal addy ( no photo ) in 1991 in one of the Polish newspapers and had about 250 responses from Polish women that were basically throwing themselves at him. Women aged from 16 to 45.

That example says nothing about Polish mothers.

MidasThreads: 2 Posts: 788 Joined: Jul 19, 10 ♂	Jun 3, 11, 18:26 #98
darius, you were kind enough not to read the stuff I wrote. Basically, women described in that article ( who were basically throwing themselves at an unknown Swede ) happen to be mothers now, most of them live in Poland. Understood?

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Jun 28, 11, 09:53 #99

Midas:

Most doubtfull sentence I heard today.

Any arguments to support Your statement, mate?

Nope, just my own experience. And do you know all Polish mothers to say that most of them ar this or that etc.? Hah!

PennBoy:

If it's a white Westerner yes, others no.

guesswho:

when we lived in Mikolajki, I've met a girl who was about to get married with an Welsh guy and her whole family was very happy about it so I guess Midas is right about what he's saying.

If it was a western hobo or a loser - then it would be okay for them? What are you basing this on?! On one example from Mikolajki??? This is not how you make statistics.

sa11yThreads: 4 Posts: 191 Joined: Dec 12, 11 ♀	Edited by: sa11y Jan 11, 12, 12:34 #100
Lodz_The_Boat: High standards and morals also involve taking care of the spouse, being understanding, honest, loving and integrate each others family into a good and healthy family circle You REALLY think paper is going to guarantee that? That you even need paper for this?

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Edited by: Lodz_The_Boat Jan 11, 12, 17:59 #101

sa11y:

That you even need paper for this?

Although money is also just a piece of paper ... you do need it to buy food. A brick is just a denser form of clay, you need it for home. A stone is a denser form of dust only, but you need it for construction ... and a certificate again is a colored piece of paper, but you do pursue it. A bill is a paper too ...

It is coming into accordance ... being human.... having laws and regulations that consitute a human social structure. There is no need to demonise it unnecessarily ... rather learn to be better with ourselves and make our life more streamlined.

As for the marriage paper ... it is a great momento for a couple. I can guarantee you that. I know it is for us (me and my wife). But not only that, it has many other meanings and implications that we respect and honor. Never felt it was a burden... because it is not. It is a law, and we are not anarchic or lawless. Even the jungle does have laws... however we are human and thus there is more about us.

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Jan 12, 12, 08:47 #102

Lodz_The_Boat:

money is also just a piece of paper

Money is not just a piece of paper. If it was, you wouldn't be able to buy anything for it (or at least very, very little). In fact you don't need the PAPER at all to buy things. This is only proving my point that this is the meaning behind the paper that is more important than the paper itself.
There are different reasons why people don't want that paper - often it's failed marriage already (where the paper brought more trouble for one party than lack of the paper ever would have). Sometime is a fear. Sometimes you may be right - lack of commitment. Sometimes people don't want to "fix" if there is no problem. If both parties are happy without the paper why would they want to change things? Marriage in the registry office or church is a contract. Some people need it to feel secure, some don't. Morals have nothing to do with this. Do you think a marriage where husband and wife cheat on each other is better that committed relationship of two people who are together because they want to be, don't risk the happiness through cheating on each other?

observer

Jan 12, 12, 11:57 #103

I have given this advice to many unmarried friends, man and woman alike and I will share it with everyone.

With regards to being unmarried but living together, do take legal advice on your status re property, child residence, life insurance and property matters if something should happen to you or your partner. (e.g If something were to happen to you would your children ever be allowed to see father side of the family ever again if the father not on the birth certificate? If you and your partner own a property & something happened to either partner would the other half be automatically be the "executor" of any funds meant to raise the children with?).

Don't avoid looking at the legal issues and please do make sure all legal issues are totally water tight. Forewarned is forearmed. You now know that if the worst were to happen or if the unthinkable were to happen and your partner died prematurely you could be left with all sorts of problems eg MIL might want to organise the funeral and not include you in the decision making etc. I know it's ghastly even to contemplate, but there are lots of practical reasons rather than religious reasons to get married when you have children together. You are an adult and you can make your own informed decision, but make sure your children will not suffer especially regarding to finance, they don't deserved this just because parents don't want to make commitment on paper marriage or will making.

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Jan 12, 12, 13:33 #104

observer:

With regards to being unmarried but living together, do take legal advice on your status re property, child residence, life insurance and property matters if something should happen to you or your partner

Absolutely - I cannot agree more!
This is a serious concern. But there are ways of sorting things out before they happen - the best is to draw Will to regulate such issues. Here in South Africa, even if you are married you still need Will to execute your rights, hereditary law is not very good and takes ages to execute (the fact that you can legally have more than one wife does not make it easier), that's why almost everyone has Will.

live in uk	Jan 15, 12, 22:35 #105
reason might be because of you are black man,indian,asian,muslim....etc not british i am afraid.and also if you are poor guy you are looser.

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	Jan 15, 12, 23:05 #106
Opposite to that I have found that polish mothers push their daughters to me.

Marynka11Threads: 8 Posts: 1,447 Joined: Nov 3, 10 ♀	Jan 15, 12, 23:52 #107
southern: Opposite to that I have found that polish mothers push their daughters to me. Who would have thought Polish mothers are that desperate...

IronsideThreads: 59 Posts: 6,789 Joined: Feb 26, 09 ♂	Jan 16, 12, 00:00 #108
southern: Opposite to that I have found that polish mothers push their daughters to me. Do those daughters struggle ?Scream for help ? Are you sure that they are their real mothers ?

rozumiemnicThreads: 4 Posts: 1,026 Joined: Nov 16, 09 ♀	Jan 16, 12, 00:01 #109
NO, please Mother, NO!!!!

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Edited by: Azra87 Jan 16, 12, 00:49 #110

Hello guys,
I just registered now and I didnt read whole thread. but I wanna says that polish society is quite open, alot of my friends from uni and school lived in separated falts with boyfriends and parents didnt make any problems. Some of them start live like this already in highschool.
Aaa and having foregin husbands isnt really any succes unless you came from very close-minded family. Then if he is reach it might be take as succes but in suc situation nationality doesnt matter really just money.
(sorry for my english mistakes, im still learning)

southernThreads: 116 Posts: 10,959 Joined: May 17, 07 ♂	Jan 16, 12, 10:35 #111
Azra87: Aaa and having foregin husbands isnt really any succes unless you came from very close-minded family. Then if he is reach it might be take as succes but in suc situation nationality doesnt matter really just money. Typical Polki thinking.

sa11yThreads: 4 Posts: 191 Joined: Dec 12, 11 ♀	Jan 16, 12, 11:12 #112
southern: Typical Polki thinking I wouldn't attribute this to "Polki" rather to the level of thinking of lower class parents anywhere in the world (not excluding Poland), by whom marrying a daughter off to a rich guy is considered a "social promotion" - which I think is what Azra87 was trying to say.

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Jan 16, 12, 19:45 #113

southern:

Azra87: Aaa and having foregin husbands isnt really any succes unless you came from very close-minded family. Then if he is reach it might be take as succes but in suc situation nationality doesnt matter really just money.

Typical Polki thinking.

I emphesised i talk abt some close-minded societies which exist in evry cauntry. Whenever my friend or family was going to marry foregin person, noone try interfere ( at the end its this person life not their) but always ask if its not better to marry polish, somone with same language, culture and values. Of cours they accept but its not thing of which anyone is specialy praud. Simple is ok if this person is decent n good hearted.
N really life shows Polish woman are not women who are going only for money. Alot of marriages with much poorer ppl only confirm it.

live in uk	Jan 16, 12, 19:53 #114
Azra87: N really life shows Polish woman are not women who are going only for money its not only about polish women its about any women and men from different nation.pls dont write general...

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