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My Polish wife got married to me but she's still not in love?


page 1 of 2:  1  2  Next » posts: 34

roynelson2012Threads: 6
Posts: 12
Joined: Jan 4, 12 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 10:14    #1
my polish wife got married to me. but she say she is not in love with me yet. but she does everything . she says it wil take time to feel the love. i dunno what she means
HarryThreads: 62
Posts: 8,508
Joined: May 2, 07 ♂ [Suspended] 		 Jan 4, 12, 10:23    #2
roynelson2012:
she says it wil take time to feel the love

Either time or about 150mg of 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine.
southernThreads: 116
Posts: 10,959
Joined: May 17, 07 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 11:08    #3
Arab Polka what do you expect?
roynelson2012Threads: 6
Posts: 12
Joined: Jan 4, 12 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 11:50    #4
Im catholic like her and not arab so dunno what to think
ReservoirDogThreads: -
Posts: 220
Joined: Nov 22, 11 ♀ 		 Jan 4, 12, 11:58    #5
ahahaha, you are joking, right?? if you are serious, why then you married her in the first place??
hythornThreads: 6
Posts: 843
Joined: Feb 21, 08 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 12:04    #6
Harry:
Either time or about 150mg of 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine.


why stop there?

go the whole hog and dose her with largactyl
just make sure that she does not plan on operating heavy machinery in the near future

my spider senses do start tingling when someone who has never posted before suddenly starts pouring out their heart
southernThreads: 116
Posts: 10,959
Joined: May 17, 07 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 12:10    #7
Polish girls need time to get used to you if there is not love from first sight.
NatasaThreads: 7
Posts: 2,611
Joined: Jun 6, 10  Pictures: 2  Gold Member MEMBER ♀ 		Edited by: Natasa  Jan 4, 12, 12:43    #8
southern:
if there is not love from first sight.


Dear men, that is a walking calculation then, run away, I am of that kind, I know.

Nothing worse than having a rational woman by your side.

Men are different story, they are always the same, rational above all ;)


hythorn:
largactyl


Who was anxious or had peculiar ideas? (I love those failures of adaptation to wrong things!) ;)

Sorry, always drawn to, for this place, exotic words :)

roynelson2012:
she says it wil take time to feel the love. i dunno what she means


She is probably lead by the logic, if I had that canary bird and started to feel love after sharing space with it for a while, why shouldn't that be possible with the man?

It can work...if that belief is strong and repeated daily in front of the mirror. It didn't work for me.

stop the earth i want to get off
roynelson2012Threads: 6
Posts: 12
Joined: Jan 4, 12 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 12:46    #9
everything she does shows she loves me but she doesnt say the i love u cause she doesnt feel it .
HarryThreads: 62
Posts: 8,508
Joined: May 2, 07 ♂ [Suspended] 		 Jan 4, 12, 12:49    #10
hythorn:
just make sure that she does not plan on operating heavy machinery in the near future

Or at least that she does not plan on operating such in the near future and ever operating it again.
Sobieski1Threads: 3
Posts: 22
Joined: Jan 4, 12 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 12:51    #11
Polish girls are complicated.
roynelson2012Threads: 6
Posts: 12
Joined: Jan 4, 12 ♂ 		Edited by: roynelson2012  Jan 4, 12, 13:19    #12
so the question is how important is love to in a marriage or is it enough that she respects me and likes me as a person . the funny thing is she loved me in the begining when we first met. Now my marriage feels like an arranged marriage even though it didnt start off like that .
southernThreads: 116
Posts: 10,959
Joined: May 17, 07 ♂ 		 Jan 4, 12, 14:56    #13
roynelson2012:
like an arranged marriage


Indian or Pakistani?
roynelson2012:
is how important is love to in a marriage or is it enough that she respects me and likes me as a person


Most probably you will develop horns if they are not yet existing.I don't know the general environment there but if a Polka sees an upgrade path there is serious problem.
live in uk  Jan 16, 12, 19:24    #14
i advice to you just run a way from her my friend.because she is married with you without love!
there are 2 possibilty that she has another man or she got marry with you for money?
i am sorry but this is the life.i have polish wife too.we are together over 10 years and very happy.if she could tell me that she doesnt love me yet i could show her the door or she could be just carer of my children nothing else.
good luck
teflcatThreads: 6
Posts: 1,076
Joined: May 29, 11 ♂ 		 Jan 16, 12, 19:41    #15
live in uk:
if she could tell me that she doesnt love me yet i could show her the door

You clearly do not love her if you can say something like that.
roynelson2012:
everything she does shows she loves me but she doesnt say the i love u cause she doesnt feel it .

Take it easy. Don't pressurise her by constantly asking for declarations of love (whatever that is). Relationships take time to mature. So do some posters on PF.
live in uk  Jan 16, 12, 19:48    #16
teflcat:
live in uk: if she could tell me that she doesnt love me yet i could show her the door
You clearly do not love her if you can say something like that.

would you love someone and get marry if she dont love you?
what would you think when you get marry with women after hear that she is not in love with you?(so she is in love with who?)
teflcatThreads: 6
Posts: 1,076
Joined: May 29, 11 ♂ 		 Jan 16, 12, 19:56    #17
There are many cultures around the world where marriages are arranged to a greater or lesser extent by the parents of young people. In almost all cases the bride and groom agree to the match. It is thought in some very ancient cultures that being in love is the worst possible reason to get married, for the simple reason that when we are crazy about each other, we are just that: crazy. Most arranged, e.g. Indian, marriages develop into respectful, happy partnerships.
aldaThreads: 1
Posts: 6
Joined: Jan 12, 12 ♀ 		 Jan 16, 12, 19:59    #18
dnt worry my friend, it seems like polish people dnt like to make out loud love declarations :)
roynelson2012Threads: 6
Posts: 12
Joined: Jan 4, 12 ♂ 		 Feb 14, 12, 09:29    #19
thanks alda
wildroverThreads: 180
Posts: 8,188
Joined: Jun 7, 07 ♂ 		 Feb 14, 12, 20:26    #20
Just give her the house and the money....

Saves all that messing about with lawyers...
f stopThreads: 33
Posts: 2,861
Joined: Dec 9, 09  Pictures: 1 ♀ 		 Feb 14, 12, 23:25    #21
there are many arranged marriages that have worked.
MeatheadThreads: 3
Posts: 197
Joined: Jun 3, 10 ♂ 		 Feb 15, 12, 07:35    #22
f stop:
there are many arranged marriages that have worked.


Something tells me that's not he wants to hear.
rybnikThreads: 29
Posts: 1,234
Joined: Jan 16, 11  Pictures: 4 ♂ 		 Feb 15, 12, 08:24    #23
roynelson2012:
but she say she is not in love with me yet. but she does everything

actions speak louder than words
SashaThreads: 2
Posts: 1,597
Joined: Apr 19, 08  Pictures: 1 ♂ 		 Feb 15, 12, 09:11    #24
roynelson2012:
everything she does shows she loves me but she doesnt say the i love u cause she doesnt feel it .


Like what? What does she do that makes you think she loves you? And if so... why do you need her word? Would that make you feel better?
jasondmzkThreads: 31
Posts: 503
Joined: Jun 1, 11  Pictures: 3 ♂ 		 Feb 15, 12, 09:29    #25
At some point, ya gotta trust your instincts. Unless you're paranoid. If you're getting what you want outta this relationship, maybe it's best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
mdfnkfnk  Feb 15, 12, 15:09    #26
if she married you just for money she would lie to you and tell you that she loves you.at least she's honest with it.talk to her.if you trust more random people on forum than your own wife then your marriage has no future i'm afraid...
ahmed16278Threads: -
Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 20, 12 ♂ 		 Feb 20, 12, 22:17    #27
I'm Egyptian and Arab but nationality not the reason of love. Love is the sens & feeling that you give to her so it will give you the same.
Women is like the flower every time you give her water and care she grows up and give you beautiful smile. So give her more care and love.
polishmamaThreads: 5
Posts: 300
Joined: Dec 2, 10 ♀ 		 Feb 20, 12, 23:21    #28
I need to know, what country do you and your Polish flower live in?
einclo  Feb 21, 12, 02:51    #29
she wants money
Tony JohansenThreads: 4
Posts: 17
Joined: Jan 16, 11 ♂ 		 Feb 21, 12, 03:48    #30
My first thought is of course to ask why would one marry someone who doesn't love you, but human experience is more complex than simple reactions like that.

There are many traditional societies in which marriage is arranged by the families and the future marriage partners have little say in the matter. There have been many studies of this and with surprising results. In the first few years of marriage it appears that one or both (but most often the woman) is less happy within the arranged marriage than is true within more modern 'love choice/romance based' weddings but that after about 5 years reported happiness rates are very similar for love based or arranged marriages. After 10 years the arranged marriages report greater feelings of happiness with the marriage than love/romance based marriages do. This is not every case of course (a woman who is physically abused by her husband will never be happy no matter how her marriage originated) but for most the long term best results happen where two people face adversity together and then allow love to grow from their shared experience. Romance and 'true love' at the beginning does not last so well, especially where there is unrealistic expectation of romantic play lasting forever.

Ultimately is does seem that whether or not a marriage will be a good one for the long term has less to do with romantic love than we generally believe. Far better indicators of future happiness are found in commitment to a common cause, acceptance of the other 'for better or worse', and having realistic expectations of what the marriage can achieve. Mutual respect for the marriage and what that means is as important as mutual respect for each other.

When your wife tells you that it will take time to feel the love she sounds like a wise woman who will be a good partner to you for many years provided you learn to accept her in a way that she can respect. Good luck to both of you.

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