Problem with a brutal American guy

♀

Jan 14, 12, 01:07 #1

I have a dilema .. it seems it's a serious problem - I met a guy long time ago in Connecticut, he was weird and there was religious conflict between us and he is sort of a "playboy" type, not very reliable, too young for me, arrogant, he doesn't respect me really at all.
In 2010 we met again and it was a disaster - I alaso realised he was doing some weird things, looked to me like human trafficking, it was a big problem but he seemed obsessed with me - but anytime I wanted something more, he was already not for me there.
Now, I am living in Poland, almost happilly settled after a long time of adjustment and he is making me huge problems. Harassing via internet - I don't know, is it a sort of culture to offend someone if you don't get what you need ?
This guy is brutal, I don't wanna know him but also I feel there is a culture difference between us and us law seems to ignore my complaints or whatever.
What shall I do ? Just ignore that ?

Patrycja19Threads: 79 Posts: 3,974 Joined: Oct 31, 06 ♀	Jan 14, 12, 01:52 #2
so dont go see him again, dont talk to him , dont have any contact.. give his name to authorities if you suspect human trafficking.

♂

Jan 14, 12, 07:07 #3

pmkalita:

I have a dilema .. it seems it's a serious problem - I met a guy long time ago in Connecticut, he was weird and there was religious conflict between us and he is sort of a "playboy" type, not very reliable, too young for me, arrogant, he doesn't respect me really at all.
In 2010 we met again and it was a disaster - I alaso realised he was doing some weird things, looked to me like human trafficking, it was a big problem but he seemed obsessed with me - but anytime I wanted something more, he was already not for me there.
Now, I am living in Poland, almost happilly settled after a long time of adjustment and he is making me huge problems. Harassing via internet - I don't know, is it a sort of culture to offend someone if you don't get what you need ?
This guy is brutal, I don't wanna know him but also I feel there is a culture difference between us and us law seems to ignore my complaints or whatever.
What shall I do ? Just ignore that ?

Well if your assumptions are correct that he is involved in Human trafficking, than you should avoid him at all cost. Why can't you change your internet address? I mean addresses on Yahoo, google, microsoft are free. If he still manages to find you on the internet you can put his address in the spam box.

Wroclaw BoyThreads: 57 Posts: 5,478 Joined: Jul 3, 09 MEMBER ♂	Jan 14, 12, 09:42 #4
pmkalita: there was religious conflict between us and he is sort of a "playboy" type, not very reliable, too young for me, arrogant, he doesn't respect me really at all. Sounds like youve met your soul mate there.

FoundBenek	Jan 14, 12, 15:16 #5
He can create mess ... More of the kind of the brutal mental sadist, than anything else .. Thanks for your comments, I couldn't sleep last night and it's good to know there are some more civilizes people around.

Lyzko

Jan 14, 12, 16:12 #6

Sounds to me anyway like simply a culture clash! American men (being one myself) are often a pushy, arrogant lot, quite full of themselves, oversexed and grossly undereducated, who see, especially Eastern European, women as little more than an easy lay.

Don't generalize too much though. We're not all cut from the same cloth any more than ALL Poles are whiny knowitalls who think they're superior to everyone:-)

♂

Jan 14, 12, 17:24 #7

who see, especially Eastern European, women as little more than an easy lay.

Which, coincidentally, has nothing to do with roughly 25%-30% of Eastern European women actually being an easy lay for most British/American guys, rotfl.

Sounds to me anyway like simply a culture clash!

Threadstarter has started 2 topics pertaining to thee same problem, in the other one ( it already got deleted ) she/he ( I seriously doubt the topic isn't fake ) claimed that the man was a "human trafficker", that she/he was afraid of him since he sent menacing messages and so forth.

Then she/he went on to write that the guy was probably out to take advantage of him/her criminally, because the guy was Jewish.

Now here we got him/her again, under new nickname ( "Found Benek" ).

This post is a fake.

Lyzko	Jan 14, 12, 18:01 #8
Maybe, and maybe not, Midas. Before rushing to judgement, let's all realize that, being an "open" forum, anyone may post practically whatever they want. Indeed, this person may well have had a misadventure with some dirt bag out there. The key for her is then NOT to then presume that every other American male is like this unfortunate fellow.

Lyzko	Jan 14, 12, 18:03 #9
Addendum. These women may or may not all the easy lays. The question is are they perceived as such because they really are, or merely, because they're Polish, Czech or Russian etc.?? Here's where the perpetual native stereotyping comes into play and bogs us all down in the morass of prejudice:-)

♂

Jan 14, 12, 18:08 #10

1. Read the other thread ( the posts are in the deleted bin ). He/she removed the most offensive bits from this one ( including the one about human trafficking ). The deleted thread sounded like the guy was trying to send her to a brothel in Queens.

2.

The question is are they perceived as such because they really are, or merely, because they're Polish, Czech or Russian etc.?? Here's where the perpetual native stereotyping comes into play and bogs us all down in the morass of prejudice:-)

The reason why Polish/Czech/Hungarian/Ukrainian/Russian women are "perceived as an easy lay" for foreigners is because a visible number of girls from these countries happen to be an easy lay for foreigners, no need to sugarcoat it.

Not the whole population, obviously, but most of the time you don't see Italian or Dutch women ready to **** at the drop of a hat when they hear a foreign language.

FoundBenek

Jan 14, 12, 18:38 #11

I post this message twice as I realised the first time I posted it under Politics tag ( by mistake ) so I decided to move it to Relationship;
I won't debate with you about Eastern European women - I have your own experience.
The truth is that because of his manipulations and deceiving everyone around, I left London and I've been only through guilt ( because he is Jewish, I knew he wanted only to play with me which gave me the feeling of worse than any other woman who can achieve a decent family life and protective guy on her side );
what I want to say it's been cruel but I wont push the problem who he really is - as I feel with Americans that the justice can only be seen on their side.
I am Polish so I am worse.
I also won;t debate about discrimination issues, there is a lot that can hurt someone who is reading some of those posts ..
His behaviour sort of conditioned my steps of what happen next in my life, of course, the same could happen with any other nationality but I agree - it's an awful culture clash, and i wanna forget but feel also like speaking for myself once people accuse me.

Sometimes is better not to know how people see the world.
lyzko - thanks, what I need, was just a tiny bit of human attitude.
Human towards human, not surrogtae towards another human,

Paulina

noreenbThreads: 4 Posts: 1,082 Joined: Apr 22, 09 ♀	Jan 14, 12, 18:42 #12
What is he doing exactly? How does he harass you?

FoundBenek

Jan 14, 12, 18:48 #13

I also got the message that my posts have been deleted or cancelled - it's good to know that they can be found in the bin, I thought they have been cancelled by administrator or someone, I didn't cancel them by myself.
I think he is sending women to brothels, and maybe even getting rid of them.
Though I can see the video on YouTube, with him and some other friends, and women - this is not for me; brutishness and brutality ....

Oh, well ... **** happens ..

FoundBenek

Jan 14, 12, 18:55 #14

There dodgy people who are trying to contact me, sending some pornographic links ( with some american women ) on some websites with my Polish address ( I don't know how he got it ! - he shouldn't have known where I live ! ), I think he is dealing with pornography business etc, though, believe, it's a young bandit I am a 35 years woman so it doesn't make sense, I think he is a freak..
on Facebook, there are many people who are trying to contact me, they seem like from the same industry ..
He is angry and demoralised.
I don't know what to do with that !

FoundBenek	Jan 14, 12, 18:58 #15
I don't wanna get into details but he is NOT MY BOYFRIEND, I treated him as a friend, supportive friend and shared with him many information once I was living in London.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Jan 14, 12, 19:02 #16
FoundBenek: I don't wanna get into details but he is NOT MY BOYFRIEND, do you think u could just make one post with information and then wait for a reply.

MEMBER ♂

Jan 14, 12, 19:03 #17

FoundBenek:

Paulina

probably not the best idea to leave a name like that, under the obvious circumstance that an internet nut case is hunting you down.

FoundBenek:

sending some pornographic links ( with some american women ) on some websites with my Polish address ( I don't know how he got it !

hes your x boyfriend and you don't have any idea how he might have accessed your Polish address! you never had anything with your Polish address written on it anywhere in your flat back in London?

FoundBenek:

I don't know what to do with that !

Like in most cases like this, you'll be back with him in a couple of weeks.

If want out just threaten Police action, that usually does the trick.

ShortHairThugThreads: - Posts: 1,377 Joined: May 1, 09 ♂	Jan 14, 12, 19:12 #18
pmkalita: Problem with American guy He's a Yank, that's a problem indeed. I hope you learnt your lesson.

FoundBenek	Jan 14, 12, 19:15 #19
I am in distress, that's why I keep messages like that. I have contacted Police and I probably will have to again, if anything like that happens again. I just wanted to raise that problem. Can you imagine what it means for a woman to be put into the situation like that ? I wish you luck.

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Jan 14, 12, 19:19 #20
FoundBenek: Can you imagine what it means for a woman to be put into the situation like that ? i don't have to imagine it. i know that there are assholes out there. don't u have people around u that can help ?

FoundBenek	Jan 14, 12, 19:20 #21
It was a big mistake, a big mistake. I should have never thought about getting in touch with him. In terms of that case, I am slowly learning that whatever I do - it's gonna be wrong. Whatever I say, it's gonna be wrong. Glad to be back home :-) I've learnt my lesson.

FoundBenek	Jan 14, 12, 19:29 #22
I hoped he would leave me alone and hope it will happen. I feel ashamed, I don't talk to anyone -just sent the letter to some Brits from the Church in London, so they know. But probably they also think that everything is my fault because I am "Eastern European". Doesn't matter, life goes on :-)

WroclawThreads: 77 Posts: 7,404 Joined: Apr 1, 06 ♂ [Moderator]	Jan 14, 12, 19:36 #23
FoundBenek: But probably they also think that everything is my fault because I am "Eastern European". only an idiot would think that.

f-stop

Jan 14, 12, 19:38 #24

You're story is just bits a pieces, but it seems like you might also feel guilty, and possibly ashamed, and not letting it go. You'd be surprised how many women slept with a wrong guy, chucked it to experience and moved on. Go through your facebook privacy settings, don't read anything from anybody that does not wish you well, write a short story but MOVE ON!
Oh, and give us a link to that youtube video.

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Jan 14, 12, 19:41 #25
OMG - it's "Your story"!

FoundBenek	Jan 14, 12, 20:02 #26
I am scared he would hurt me. Hope not. I have just never been exposed to anything like that. com/watch?v=eKEFsGNg3mE

noreenbThreads: 4 Posts: 1,082 Joined: Apr 22, 09 ♀	Jan 14, 12, 20:08 #27
Can't you just avoid him? I don't really understand. If somebody harass you look for proffesional help.

f stopThreads: 33 Posts: 2,861 Joined: Dec 9, 09 ♀	Edited by: f stop Jan 14, 12, 20:15 #28
tell him to come to your country so you can have the satisfaction of watching him getting his ass kicked. Or, if you have any proof that he wants to come after you, send it to him in reply next time he contacts you. Now, honestly, what does HE have on YOU? BTW, that link - didn't work. Closest I got is some football sht.

noreenbThreads: 4 Posts: 1,082 Joined: Apr 22, 09 ♀	Jan 14, 12, 20:22 #29
Harassment is not legal. How does he find you How long do you have the problem?

FoundBenek

Jan 14, 12, 20:26 #30

As for the link, it's required to type all the website prefix, I mean I had to remove the three "w" and the name of the video website - that's the rule in here.

I am also panicking, so forgive me all the language and stylistic mess.

It's just him and his pals... very far away from the view of how I live and who I am.

No, no - I don't wanna be in touch with him anymore in my life. It's ENOUGH.

Life can and should be normal.

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